This is the Cirno News Network with a breaking news story! After our workwolf healed, she has revealed that there has been commotion in the forest among the various inhabitants. A new magical shop has opened up, directly competing with the other inhabitants. Scratch that. The workwolf has said that it is an old shop that has merely reopened? Strange. Still, the magical shop called Raspberry is attracting derision from other residents of the forest. We, of course, will always be prepared to investigate any further developments.
Thank you, and enjoy the show. This has been THE STRONGEST! Now back to your irregularly scheduled fic.
Unlike The Lotus Flower
Eh, what's that stranger? Lost in the woods are ya? So, fancy that you just asked the first fairy that you found on your way when you grew tired of searching, eh? Why yes, I'm asking lots of questions. More to the point, I'm curious as to why you're interrupting me when I'm in the middle of such important business.
Oho, yes, I get it. You just think that a fairy would just bow over at some show of force, eh? No, it ain't gonna be that easy, bub. So, if you're wanting to ask me questions about where to go from here, why don't you just sidle on over to that stump, there. I've got some educating to be performing.
Fine, if ya be interested in asking about what exactly I be doing, then pay attention. Ain't like ya can't live and learn some, even if most of it won't apply to ya. Now up and at 'em, ya blighters! I want to see what exactly you can do.
No, I do not want to see how well you can be thieving from these travelers! Have you been paying attention to what I was saying for the past few hours? You must learn to size up your foes. Take this human for example. Tall and rather skinny. So, you think you can take it just because it doesn't have large muscles. Guess again! Look at the eyes. It's seen a lot. It probably won't be fooled by your innocent looks!
See, it agrees! It knows that those that appear innocent can be quite deadly! Pick your battles, your blooming idiots. Do you think you stand any chance of being recruited just because you bothered to show up! Please, spare me the eyes. They ain't gonna work on me.
Besides, have you paid attention to this human's companions? Recognize a fair few? No? Then why do you think you can get away with it? Because you are stupid! An unknown threat is one that is more likely to kill you than one that isn't!
Oh, that's right, we're fairies. We don't have to worry about death, do we? Damn right we do! You bunch of sissies would probably turn and run at the sign at the sight of a particularly senile squirrel! Yes, a squirrel. Tiny little rodent with a big bush tail.
Do you know what you do with those despicable rodents? No, you do not run. Instead, you wrangle that damn squirrel like it's a greased pig at a barbeque festival. Don't know what barbeque is? It's because you spend so much time dying you don't even bother to remember simple words!
That is the danger of dying. See, look at this maid. I know that you should remember who she is. Now, raise your hands if you do remember her. See what I mean? If you did, you should know that she is a fairy-slaying, youkai-slaughtering machine! Oh, don't give me that look, maid. I quite remember the rampages that your old mistress sent you to perform.
Bite me. Now, back to you fools, do you see the problem? Here we have an enraged maid who seems to desire to blast me with a large amount of concentrated energy. What is the correct thing to do in this situation?
Good answer! Now, once you sissies have decided to come back and face the music, expect more in the way of training! That is, if any of you are brave enough to show their faces to me once again.
…Bunch of pansies, running like that. Sure, it's the correct answer to the problem, but I'd have liked it if even one of them had shown enough gumption to stand their ground. Oh, sure that would have gotten them reprimanded pretty majorly. Don't ya agree with me on that, human?
Well, yes, I was talking to you. What else would I have been? This tree? I mean, it is far more attractive. You look more like some oni uprooted this tree and smacked ya in the face a few times with it.
At least you know how to take a good joke. Unlike that maid of yours over there. It seems like she's a fair amount of screws loose over there. Heh, robot you say? Is that one of them metal golem things that the kappa always trying to go and make?
Bout what I thought. She definitely looks like she has a few screws loose, then. You don't happen to have a wrench with you, do you? I could always take it and whack that robot until it finally gets them all back together. Maybe a little percussive maintenance would help her along to actually performing her duties, instead of just glowering.
Why, yes I am trying to provoke you. Well, don't make me answer your own questions, human. Who indeed would be dumb enough to do that? But you couldn't do anything to me that the old mistress hasn't, so I'm not exactly shaking in my teeny tiny shoes.
Don't you know, human? When you let down your defenses like that, you show your true colors. Only way to know what one truly is like is by making them rearing mad. Sorta like your maid here. Even if I didn't know what she was, I'd want to know exactly what she was like. Not to mention I'd love to know what she was capable of at the same time.
Please; do you remember where we are? Have you met a maid in Gensokyo that is not capable of extraordinary acts of destruction? Far be it from me to answer that. The weakest one would probably be that ordinary Makai citizen that the shrine maiden up here took as payment for the ruler of Makai's actions.
Twitching again, robot? That seems to be a sensitive area for you. You remember your past? Are you not pleased with it? Hmpf. Go tell it on a mountain. So what if you've a fair few skeletons in the closet? So what if you were replaced?
That's right, replaced. Why else would one shrine maiden need two maids? Granted, I'm not sure why she needs one in the first place, but eh. So what if she's reintroducing indentured servitude and all that? As long as it's getting the job done…
Hey! Now, that was rather sudden. At least ya bothered to put some force behind that slap. But what was the reason for that? Ain't gonna be explaining, huh? Sure, I'll let you go over to the robot, so you can go ahead fiddle around with her dress. Ain't like you're going to be getting all funky here, are ya? I would remind ya that there be others that are watching.
Fine, fine, I'll shut my trap about that little particular. No reason that the maid could even hear me now, so I shouldn't be having to. Yeah, I know you're mad, but so what? Buck up, will ya? Stop acting like a pansy and let her face the truth. Ain't like ignoring it's gonna help her any.
Ya seem surprised to hear a fairy like myself be so coarse. I should be lucky that I'm not any worse than I currently am. There ain't many who worked inside the mansion at the Lake of Blood and continue to be as hospitable as I.
Surprised? Well, I did mention my former mistress, did I not? She took me in when I was a much younger, much dumber fairy. Oh, it isn't as if she ever hurt us… Well, not too much. She would go on her rampages from time to time, succumbing to the rage the coursed through her body.
Hrm. You seem to be familiar with that topic. It was quite easy to notice, after all. You didn't go wildly screaming, running willy-nilly at the very mention of her name. Granted, a tactical retreat is the most intelligent thing to perform if you somehow manage to earn her ire. Not that it will do you much good, even if she does calm down.
Not only that, but ya do not seem to suspect that she is some sort of wild monster, in an angry rage all of the time. After all, that is the general image that she has built up over the years. Even if the acts of violence she does perform are few and far between, merely living at a lake filled with blood does make a certain impression.
Trust me, I saw plenty in that house. One does have to meet with her strict standards, after all. And she would have no person, or fairy, working for her that she felt was weak. I'm sure that you appreciate the reasons for that, do you not?
Still, it was trying. Who do ya think helped let the blood from cadavers to fill the lake up? Indeed. Most of my sisters could not stand it. We had a constant rate of attrition from those that were not strong enough. I'm perfectly sure ya know what I mean by that.
Fine, I will put it bluntly, then. The ones who could not stand the sight of so much blood and so much death ended up leaving and killing themselves. I'm sure you know what that means for a fairy, yes? …Not very much, I'll admit. Oh, just a little bit of a wait before ya respawn. However, there is a little price. Ya lose just a smidgen of the memories you have.
But to those wimps, it was a blessing. So they offed themselves again and again until they couldn't even be bothered to blink. They ain't got even a smidgen of their old selves left in their head. So, from then on they can get away with all the cartwheeling and cavorting that they cared to do.
Yes, I say they are wimps. Why would I not? They threw away their memories because they were not strong enough! Still, I suppose that it be like making a human change their freckles. Ain't gonna be happening.
Fairies ain't supposed to be understanding death. You know what I mean by that, human? Course ya don't… Ain't never bothered to stop and talk to a fairy, have ya? No, those by the lake don't count. They be much more dangerous than the majority of fairies are.
Why, what else could be dangerous? At least normal fairies will at most want to fleece ya and take you for all that you're worth. Maybe they will play a trick on ya that will leave ya injured. Nothing more.
Yes, you are right. Those others are like us, but mores. They believe that they're so high and mighty that they can rule over whomever they want to. It'd be hard to find ya some kind that's more stickup than those be. Sheesh.
Well, I may be stickup, but I don't try and trick mortals like yourself to give up your souls, do I? Nor do I plan on killing ya. All I want to do is my job. And if that means I have to be wrangling up some stray fairies who couldn't tell if they were wet behind their ears if I dunked them in the Misty damned Lake!
Heh, you wanting to know why I'm so insistent on getting my job done? Well, it's because I am recruiting for the new boss. No, Not the old mistress. I left her after we were attacked by those two stray humans. Rather, she let us go, having decided that she might spend a few decades, or centuries, out of her house. Not much was left for me, so I decided to leave. It was either that or stay and dust an empty mansion every day. Even I have my limit.
But wouldn't you know it, I found myself having to fight those damned humans again! Not to mention the old mistress. I tell you, if there is anything worse than fighting Yuuka Kazami, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the compliment, bub, but I ain't be wanting them. All I was doing was my job. She understood that. Doesn't mean that she held back, but I think it would have dishonored us both if she did. At least I needn't have respawned after that whole ordeal. That would have messed with my ticker something nasty.
I had actually come into the employ of Makai, in the world of demons. Not a very important job, or anything, but I did end up on interior guard duty. Heh… Yeah. I have no idea how I found the land in the first place. Perhaps it found me instead. Magic that old always has a mind of its own, even if it can't be understood.
But yeah… After the trouble, the master of that realm has decided to change her ways. Hence, I am here, beginning to prepare and see if I can garner any more recruits to the cause. Fairies aren't that great of an ally, but they certainly can't hurt, especially if you manage to train them. You can see that I'm not having that great of luck. At least Shinki is patient.
Huh, didn't 'spect a twitch out of that one. You have the air of a fairy about you. Planning to be causing some mischief, devil girl? Or you just gonna slip back into the shadows, and let us do the talking? Yeah, that's what I thought. If I had anything worth stealing, I'd be keeping my eyes on you.
So, your robot making any sense now? Hrm. Well, let her reboot all that she wants. Ain't like there is anything that'll bother ya now. Folks know that when they see the fairies scattering, it'd be best to run the other way. It's either a trap, or something that frightened the girls. Not that it takes that much, but usually better is safer than sorry.
Eh? You want to be asking me something? Well, go ahead and shoot, human. It isn't as if I've a fairy circle to be attending, or anything. Oh, that is what you were wondering. To tell ya the truth, I can't honestly say why it is that I stay this way. It would be much easier, after all, to go back to the way I had once been. To be young and carefree. Might take getting killed a few times until I forgot the reason I was killing myself, but it'd certainly be possible.
Still, that would seem like retreating. I would hate to disappoint my former mistress by allowing myself to do so. And I would hate to fail my current employer if I allowed myself to crap out. I may have seen much, but it is nothing that most of the older youkai haven't seen. They just don't have the luxury to forget.
Happy now? No? Good. You shouldn't be happy. After all, I had your maid her crap out just because I mentioned a few words. I hope you wouldn't be happy with me because I shared a few philosophical discussions with you. Exactly. Now, why are you still talking to this fairy instead of heading on? It looks like she's back up and working now and- Whoah! Almost got me with that shot! Joints a bit rusty, there?
Pity, then. You're too calm, too quickly. But eh, if you ain't gonna listen to me… Well, that's that. So, you said you wanted some directions, wasn't that right? Hrm. Looking for a shop of some kind? Well, can't tell ya exactly where one is. If it ain't the Kirisame's, you're best off heading due east of here. I saw a shack over that way. Perhaps that is what you're looking for.
Fantastic. Now I am to be wrangling up these sissies. Oh, they haven't completely run off. They're hiding in the bushes just over yonder. Hear the rustling? They're afraid to come out and risk my wrath. Well, that means I just get to have me some target practice.
Well, I sure wouldn't mind finding some new recruits, but it isn't as if there are many other fairies that are useful 'round these parts. Oh? A proper fae, you say? One of them helping out could become mighty interesting. Are you sure, though? Those creatures are not exactly known for being kind for our species. And if she's strong enough to be useful, she's strong enough to knock me out of the sky without breaking a sweat.
Alright, if you say so. I'll have to follow up on that lead some time or the other. What's her name, now? Now, that is interesting… One of the Spring Court, isn't she? Very well. I'll keep an eye out for Black. Maybe I can persuade her to join our cause.
If you see her, tell her to come search out the fairy Rengeteki. It's the closest thing that I have to a name. Most just say hey you or stop shooting me in the rear with your magic you crazy fairy! I love that last one. Good luck with your search; just ignore any explosions that you might hear for a bit. I have some words to share with a few wusses hiding behind the bushes…
A/N Well, finally back. And it looks like I made a liar out of myself. I had initially planned to have a windows character now. But when I tried to start writing, I realized that one of the two for this open slot would fit better later, and the other would have been too random.
As if Rengeteki isn't random enough. If anyone is wondering who exactly this fairy is, she is a midboss from LLS and MS. Not to mention that she is the only unnamed midboss to show up in two different games.
Although, I'm not quite sure where drill sergeant fairy came from. It seems natural if she is a fairy of any note, especially having lived with Yuuka for any length of time. Eh, I think it's interesting. May come back and revisit her sometime, flesh her out with some that aren't just regular fairies.
Anywho, last chapter:
Mr. Guest, I suppose, why does there only have to be four party members? It isn't as if we've got an arbitrary headcount limit here, or anything like that. …Although, Kikuri is pretty much floating equipment at this point.
Digressing, I will flat out state whom the next one is. Look forward to seeing a sparrow soon. Besides that, please read and review as always, and until next time!