A/N: Hi! Thank you all for the reviews they do mean a lot. :)

This isn't the chapter I was planning to post but I'm going to be busy over the next few days so I thought I would post this before the planned chapter I talked about in chapter 9. I wanted a chapter where they just talked and maybe shared some more feelings so hope you will like it before the drama in the chapter 11.

Thanks for reading!

"Do you think we'll be back in time?"

"Yes but I think we can let them miss us for a bit longer anyway."

Anthony said as he drove along the hilly country lane, glancing his mirror he saw the cobbled streets of Ripon slowly disappearing. The setting sun framing the houses, bathing them in orange light as they slowly disappeared. It was then that he realised the worry in her voice and glanced at her. She didn't look concerned but feeling something was wrong he spoke again. Edith looked at him wrapping her coat round her glad she had brought it as it was getting colder as the day started to draw to a close.

"You worry about them a lot don't you?"

"I wouldn't say worry."

"Then what would you say?"

"Must we talk about Downton now? It is such a beautiful evening."

She stopped her self wrapping her arms further round herself biting her tongue slightly worried that he would get annoyed she wouldn't talk about it. He glanced at her again just watching her for a moment before turning back to the empty road, the country side flying past the window as the hill dipped slightly. He nodded remembering she said she would tell him when she was ready. He knew he should not rush her and he loved her enough to wait. It was just that he felt they almost didn't have time to take things slowly. It was a curse and a blessing. The countryside was quiet and he was quite enjoying just being alone with her. The acts of love and affection that they now carried out were no longer forced nor hurried, they were longed for and appreciated and he felt so grateful to have that. He spoke again breathing in the clear evening air, something he had missed since being in London.

"Is tonight when all the guests are at Downton?"

"Yes. I think mama said there was going to be a flower show in the village tomorrow. Why?"

"I suppose if we miss it there's always tomorrow to be there."

"I suppose your right. I would rather be here with you."

She said quietly not looking at him. She really did want to be with him but something was still pulling her towards her family. She hoped when the baby came she wouldn't feel such a need for them anymore. She tried to reason with her self on many occasions that they never needed her, never wanted her. Why should she do what they wanted? Her family could wait, her new family needed her now, her new family wanted her. Anthony sensing his wife's eagerness to get home decided not to talk about it anymore and put his foot on the accelerator. He was after all feeling tired but with a smile he noticed that he was not as tired as he normally was at the end of the day. Did that mean he was getting better? Edith opened the window slightly feeling the car getting stuffy and hot. She was feeling unwell but didn't want to worry Anthony so said nothing. The light was quickly being drained away beneath the hills and she looked at Anthony watching him change gears. Not taking her eyes off him she spoke again.

"We should go to Ripon more often."

"Yes dear. It was nice wasn't it?"

Seeing the sky darken Edith glanced upwards out of the window aware that soon there would be a down pour. Anthony smiled at his wife even though she wasn't looking at him anymore. He had always been taught affection should not be shown in public but with Edith he didn't care what other people thought, it felt right to be with her. The rain started to spit before turning into steady drizzle. Reluctantly Edith closed her window sighing slightly as she rested back on the seat. She would be glad to go back to Anthony's estate, Downton seemed to have such a draining effect. She looked at him but properly this time as he turned on the windscreen wipers. She had never thought about how blessed she was, how lucky she had been and she wasn't sure that she could keep lying to him. She spoke her voice shaking slightly as she did so.

"Anthony I think I should tell you something."

"What is it dear?"

"Well it's not easy to say."

The rain was now pouring, running down the street into an over flowing drain. Anthony noticing Edith was shivering offered out his scarf which she took turning it over in her hands before placing it round her neck taking comfort from the fact it smelt like him. It was then that he realised what she had said and he spoke again raising his voice trying to be heard over the rain. The loud drumming of the rain against the roof and swish of the wipers.

"You can tell me anything Edith."

He thought at first she hadn't said anything in reply, it was a long pause but she did talk again.

"I'm so sorry Anthony I really am. It was John that kissed me."

"I know. Well I didn't know for sure but I had a feeling."

Anthony was struggling to make out the road in the ever fading light. Although it was now getting considerably dark in the car too, just the soft glow of the sun, he could still tell how close he was next to her. The warmth of his body next to hers. It gave him something else to focus on then the possible argument that was threatening to ruin the peace. He felt in that moment he needed her so much, not just to tell him the truth but to tell him how she had truly felt. She sighed unsure what to say. This is what she had longed for, not necessarily the act of being loved but the feeling of it. The feeling Anthony and her had developed recently. Feeling that it didn't matter about anyone else in the whole world. He wanted to know everything and she wasn't sure if she could give it to him. The sound of the thunder could be heard before lighting spilt the sky, almost tearing them away from their thoughts and expectations as if it had been a day dream that they could carry on as normal without even discussing it. Anthony glanced at Edith unsure what she was feeling, what he was feeling.

"He didn't just kiss you did he? I can't help but feel something else happened."

"For a moment I forgot everything but it was kiss. Just that nothing more nothing less. It was such a silly mistake."

"Please just tell me what happened. I'm not the old fool you think I am."

He let the silence settle, the water smudging on the glass as he drove past a sign for Downton. Soon they would be in the presence of other people and they would have to act like everything was fine. Edith spoke louder the anger flooding her thoughts, clouding her words.

"He said some things. Some terrible things I cant even remember now. What does it even matter? It's done."

"You felt the need to tell me so please don't insult me by telling me it does not matter. It matters a great deal and I'm hurt that you don't feel the same."

He almost spat out the words not really sure how to handle it all. The hurt all pouring out. He realised he was not ready to let it lie, not ready for her to take her time. If they were to raise a child together then he had to know her. Not just how she liked her tea or what side of the bed she slept on. They were important, yes but so very small in comparison to the big things. He had no idea what her childhood had been like nor how she would want to raise children, what she wanted in her future. It was not all clear cut and he was so very angry he had let him self fall so deeply in love with a woman he didn't really know. Turning the car round a corner he switched on the headlights speaking again his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

"Would it kill you for once in your life to just let me in?"

"This is about more than John isn't it?"

"I just want to love you, all of you no matter how bad or scary you might think it to be. Your are not only my wife but you are my best friend, my lover and soon to be the mother of my child..."

"Would you stop being so proper for just once in your life and just talk to me. Not what I want to hear but what you want to tell me. Please."

He pulled the car to a stop at the edge of a field the headlights the only thing lighting the road, the darkness had crept in and neither one had noticed. He turned to her, her worried eyes watching him pleading to remove everything between them. He turned the engine off waiting until there was just silence. Feeling her hand on his he sighed finally ready to admit his feelings. He had never wanted to say them out loud in case he would no longer be there. He wouldn't want her to feel a bigger loss in any way, longing for those feelings that he would no longer be there to reciprocate.

"I promised to try to be understanding and that we would face everything together. To be your companion, to share everything together. When we were wed maybe I didn't fully know if I loved you but now...god now I want nothing more than to share everything with you, to be understanding. Every time you refuse to tell me how you feel it's almost as if your refusing my love. My love that is now so unfailing and I don't want you to feel so alone. I am here and I'm going to do everything I can to stay here."

She moved closer to him feeling words wouldn't do the situation justice. He placed his hands on her soft cheeks wondering if she did truly want to kiss him, in the same way he so badly wanted to kiss her. He closed his eyes moving closer to her not feeling the need to communicate or even guide the situation in any way. Edith closed her eyes slowly before feeling his lips on hers. She started to wrap her arms round his waist as he kissed her more intently not feeling content with just one kiss. She met his passionate kisses as best she could feeling her self go considerably weak. Edith's head was swimming as he broke his kiss, his forehead still rested on hers struggling for breath. He lent forward and kissed her again his hot kisses meeting with hers. It was a strange and new experience for both of them being free from past memories or unknown territory. She felt he was kissing her, all of her and it felt so wonderful. His warm hands holding her close to him, wanting every bit of her. She felt she might fall apart in that moment and come so undone. Anthony finally broke the close contact refusing every thought in his head, it had been so intense and so carefree he felt it was a good thing that he pulled away. Afraid what he would want to do if he didn't. Edith sighed but placed her arms round his shoulders smiling at him shyly slightly unsure if she had ever felt like that before. Like her and Anthony were one complete person. As he brushed the hair out of her eyes she gazed at him hoping he had kissed her because he wanted to because he desired her, not in some stupid attempt to prove something. He smiled at her looking down for a moment trying to collect his thoughts before he looked up at her wondering what she thought of him now. If he was being honest he couldn't think of much apart the kiss they had just shared. He decided not to think for now and lent forward to kiss Edith again glad that she would finally let him love her, love her completely.