A/N as I kept you all waiting another chapter...I will get cracking I promise as get another up middle of next week. Thank you for sticking with it even with big waits between updates! Love you all!

Chapter 10

Anne didn't know how long she had stood watching the man in front of her but by the time the two musketeers reached her Aramis had fallen silent again, his exhausted body hunched over, knees close to his chest as he stared unseeingly at the grave in front of him. Porthos fell next to him, placing an arm around the smaller man's shoulder, whispering words Anne could not hear.

"Here you are…you have had us worried, my friend," Porthos greeted, kneeling down next him as he took his cloak off and wrapped it around Aramis. Porthos felt him tremble under his touch, causing him to frown and dip his head so he could see the man's face. Suddenly, distressed brown eyes flew up to meet his, causing a surge of panic to race through Porthos. "Aramis? What's wrong mate?" he asked gently "I am going to be hung…and I am going to hell," Aramis whispered, his voice shaking with pure fear. "Hell? Hung? What…no Aramis you are not…why would you think this? Where has this come from?" Porthos questioned, his worry for his friends sudden dip in his depression increasing by the second. "I kissed the Queen," he breathed, hands flew up clenching in fists in Porthos' shirt. "I won't be with Marie…I will never lay with my angel again!" he sobbed, falling against Porthos, who quickly wrapped strong arms around his brother, looking up at where Athos and Anne were watching.

"Athos, we have to get him out of here," Porthos said, rubbing a hand up and down Aramis' back in a desperate attempt to soothe the sobbing man in his arms. "He is exhausted…and seemingly pretty deluded. He needs to sleep," he added, hearing the words 'hung' and 'hell' being muttered over and over. Athos nodded, moving to them both and helping Porthos to pull Aramis to his feet.

"Take him back to the garrison as it is closer. Take him to your quarters and I will meet you there," Athos ordered him. Porthos merely nodded before carefully leading Aramis away, taking almost all the weight of the broken man as they made their way back to the garrison. Once sure they were out of earshot, Athos turned to face his Queen, the distraught look on her face filling him with unease.

"Your majesty…please. I have to know what happened. Why is Aramis convinced he will hang?" Athos asked gently. Anne did not answer at first. Eventually, she took a deep breath before answering quietly. "He kissed me Athos," She replied, looking at him and noting the look on his face, shaking her head to silence him she continued. "I should have stopped him I know…but I was selfish…I have never been kissed like that before. To feel someone be so gentle and tender…and loving. So I returned it…" She trailed off, dropping her gaze. Athos stayed silent sensing she hadn't finished. "He finally realised what he had done. The fear in his eyes….he thought…he thought I was…" She shook her head not being able to finish.

"He thought you were Marie?" Athos finished for her. Anne nodded, feeling tears falling. Wiping them away, she looked up at the musketeer in front of her. "I found him asleep in the chapel. He had been there the night. I took him to a place only Marie knew of to give him some air," she explained. Athos just nodded not knowing what to say. "I am so sorry Athos. My selfish needs have destroyed him…I never meant to cause him more pain," Anne apologised. Athos placed a gentle hand to her arm. "Your majesty, Aramis is sick. It is illness that will never leave. Everyday since Marie passed, we have had to learn to cope, to help him through each day. Now with Thomas gone…" He stopped, taking in a shaky breath "Do not blame yourself for what has happened today your majesty," he soothed. She nodded, placing a hand over his. "Go to him, Athos. Look after him. Soothe his pain as best you can," she told him. Athos nodded, removing his hand from hers before dipping into a bow then bringing himself to his full height placing his hat back on his head. "Until next time, your majesty." Then he was gone, leaving Anne to drop down next to her friend's grave, she herself seeking forgiveness for what had just happened

Athos reached Porthos' quarters just as the physician was leaving. He tilted his head to young man as he passed him before stepping into the room and seeing Porthos sat on the edge of his bed, eyes fixed sadly on his friend. Moving closer, Athos saw that his brother seemed to be in a peaceful sleep though for how long, he wasn't sure.

"How is he? Should I be more worried then I already am after seeing the physician leave?" Athos queried, moving to the table and placing his hat on it then leaning against it. Porthos sighed deeply as he shook his head, his eyes never leaving the sleeping man. "I just wanted to have him checked over. He was so exhausted. I just about managed to keep him with us long enough for the physician to see to him. For once this is a natural sleep," Porthos explained. Athos just nodded, knowing his friend was thinking the same: the musketeer would not be asleep for long.

"What happened Athos?" Porthos' voice made him look to see the big man finally staring at him, his eyes holding the same tired look that matched Athos' own. Athos sighed, running a hand through his hair. "What he said was true. He kissed the Queen. But only because he saw my sister and not the Queen of France," Athos replied, watching as a flash of anger crossed Porthos's face, turning his attention back to their friend.

"How do we make this stop, Athos? There must be something we can do for him?! Anything! Aramis doesn't deserve this…he can't cope with this any more. How do we get our friend back?" Porthos cried in frustration. Athos shook his head sadly. "We can't…we never will. This is Aramis, Porthos. This is our friend, our brother. All we can do is help him as best we can to get through each day," he answered. Porthos nodded, not hiding his pain. "Even when Thomas comes home though…his mind…it is getting weaker…he will never be well again," Porthos muttered sadly. Athos walked over and placed a gentle hand to his shoulder before squeezing it. "No he won't," he admitted quietly "All we can do is give him the best life we can." Porthos just nodded in answer. A cough at the door caused them both to turn, where they saw their Captain and, to their relief, Marcus stood watching.

"Captain," Athos greeted him. Treville smiled lightly at the man before glancing over at the bed. "Is he not having a good day?" Treville asked quietly. Porthos shook his head. "The Queen found him asleep in the royal chapel. He had been there the night. We were called and found him at Marie's grave exhausted and deluded. We brought him back here to get checked over and rest," Porthos explained, choosing not to mention the kiss with the Queen as the less who knew about it the better, for Aramis' sake. Treville nodded. "I need to speak with you both," he said, wondering if they would come to his office. Athos answered his question.

"You will have to talk with us here. Aramis is in a natural sleep which means he won't sleep long. With how distressed his is today, I don't wish him to be on his own when he wakes. He won't wake well," Athos explained. Treville nodded again, beckoning Marcus further into the room. "Tell them what you told me, son," Treville said. Marcus smiled sadly at two of the men he looked up to.

"I know where they are and they plan on staying there for another two days. We should leave today," he told them both. Athos glanced at Porthos, seeing uncertainty in his eyes. He knew he was reluctant to leave Aramis but they had agreed that when it was time to leave, Aramis would be housed at the Garrison 'til their return, a musketeer with him at all times. That being said, Athos knew the turn on his mental health that day was going to make it hard for anyone but those who knew him best to soothe him and keep him calm. Athos was about to answer when a quiet whimper broke through the silence, causing the two friends to ignore their captain and the young musketeer and turn their attention onto their brother.

"Aramis?" Athos called to him gently, moving to the other side of the bed opposite Porthos, both of them placing a hand to Aramis' shoulders ready to hold him down. "It's okay, my friend. You're safe. Come on. Come back to us," Athos soothed him, watching as confused brown eyes opened flicking between Porthos and Athos. "Easy buddy. You are okay. It's just us, the captain and Marcus here," Porthos assured him, relieved to see the fear leave Aramis as he relaxed into their grip, his mind slowly pulling him back to reality. With the help of his friends, he moved his tired body into a sitting position before turning his eyes on the two men in the door way.

"Have you found my son?" he asked quietly. "We know where they are Aramis. We are leaving today to go to them," Marcus explained. Aramis nodded, fixing his gaze onto Treville. "I am going too," he told his captain firmly. Treville looked at him in surprise before shaking his head. "No, Aramis. I can't let you. You are not fit for duty," he told the youngster firmly. Frustration flashed in Aramis' eyes as he glared at Treville. "My duty is to my son! I have sworn to protect him! And will I will always be fit in my duty as a father," he retorted. Athos squeezed his friend's shoulder gently.

"Aramis, the captain is right. You aren't well enough to come. It is best you stay here," Athos said gently. Aramis shoved him off, fixing his glare on his brother. The words he spoke next held such venom and resentment that it pained Athos to hear.

"No! Not this time! Last time you stopped me, my wife died! I could have saved her Athos! If you hadn't have held me back, I would have put a bullet through Lucas instead of him putting one through Marie!" Aramis spat, shocking the men in the room to silence. Athos tore his eyes away from the angry ones belonging to his friend, knowing Aramis was right. It was a truth that had plagued him since the day his sister had been taken from them. It just seemed more real hearing it from the mouth of the one person who had suffered more than him.

"Aramis!" Porthos warned, his tone telling his friend he was not in the mood for a fight. But Aramis ignored the warning as he pulled himself out of bed, moving so he could see all four men, his slight frame trembling at the sudden effort.

"I was stopped from saving my wife! Instead I was made to hold her in my arms as she died! I/will/not let you stop me from saving my son! MY SON! No one else's! He is my little boy and he is all I have left in the world to live for. The only reason you all have me stood here is because of Thomas!" Aramis shouted, his voice shaking with the emotions pulsing through his body. "Aramis please…" Treville tried again but he was silenced with just one look from the musketeer as he spoke his order resolutely.

"You will give me back my weapons, and Fleur-de-lis and you will let me ride with you so that I can get my son back!"