Chapter 10: You're not bad

"Why?" I barely got out in a whisper. He sighed sadly with his shoulder still hunched over before he answered.

"I've… made bad decisions. I do bad things… I … did what I had to do and I have to live with that." He cryptically explained. All his answer did was anger me.

"Shouldn't that be my decision? Shouldn't I decide who's good and bad for me?" I spoke angrily, my voice rising with each word. I glanced up at him, and decided anger probably wasn't the way to handle this situation.

"You aren't… bad… Edward" I whispered out, turning my head down to look at my hands resting on my lap. I felt his fingers on my chin, turning my face to look at him. His gaze was soft, but mostly sad.

"You have no idea… You have no idea what I've done… what I do all the time." He spoke softly. He was trying so hard to get me to not like him, and I probably shouldn't of. Had anyone else been saying this to me, I would've left… quickly. But I couldn't, this is Edward. I couldn't.

"I don't care, you're not bad Edward… You … can't be…," I sighed, still looking into his eyes. I placed my hand over his resting on my cheek. "This… right there… the way you look at me, the way you touch me… there is nothing bad about this… and there is nothing bad about you." I tried so hard for him to understand. There was no way he was evil… I could tell in his eyes… his touch… everything about him. He just stared at each other for what seemed like forever, but yet not long enough. He slowly started leaning forward and rested his forehead against mine. Both of our eyes closed, I was in heaven being this close to Edward again, but yet dreading the idea of not seeing him for weeks again. I've never felt like I do with Edward… I can't explain it but I sure as hell needed more than one dose every couple weeks. All I could focus on were the sounds of our breathing and his hand still softly placed on my face. His head moved upward and I felt him place the most tender kiss on my forehead. I opened my eyes and looked up into his. He had the softest look of love on his face. I don't know how he thinks he's not good for me, when only he has ever looked at me like that.

"You're going to be the death of me Bella," he smirked. I smiled back at him.

"You'd be so lucky," I tried to quip back. His face turned serious and his gaze hard.

"Yes… I would. You have no idea how mu," he was cut off by his cell phone ringing. He silently cursed as his hand left my face to find his phone. I mentally cursed the phone because it took his hand away from me. I looked out the window as he assumingly read and replied to his text.

"Bella, I… I have to go do something. Go back in and please stay by Emmett or Jasper." He begged. I nodded and went to get out of the car. I turned back around before shutting it.

"Edward, whatever it is you think is so bad… or if you think you're so bad. You're wrong. Being around… you… makes me feel more… like… me… then being without you." And with that I shut the door and started walking to the party. I could hear his car start up and drive away in the distance.

I stayed by my friends the rest of the night. We didn't stay much longer. I had completely sobered up and the rest of the group had completely drunkened up, so I drove us all home. I climbed into bed… alone... till I started dreaming of Edward.

The next morning I made my way down to the kitchen. I could hear the guys talking so I stopped to listen for a moment before walking in. They were discussing how many times Edward had texted them while they slept… to make sure I was safe and at home. I smiled to myself, he must really think I get into so much trouble. Before I ran up the stairs to check my phone, there was a knock at the door. I walked over to answer it, seeing the mop of bronze hair and a cocky grin on the other side.

"Ed..ward?... what ar" I stopped midsentence, realizing what I must look like having just woke up, and slammed the door in his face before running up the stairs. I could hear Emmett and Jasper laughing before getting off their chairs to let him in. I ran up to my room and did the girl thing for a moment, just making myself presentable. I was so nervous to go back down and face him, considering I did just slam the door in his face. When I went to go back down, I heard the girls voices as well this time and the smell of food. We all sat and ate, laughing and exchanging stories about the night before. I caught Edward staring at me a few times, not that I minded but each time I felt the warmth creep up onto my cheeks.

After breakfast we mostly just lounged around. I finally remembered I was going to check my phone for any texts. I suppose I could've just asked Edward if he had texted me, but we were mostly having silent conversations today, not sure either of us knew what to make of what happened last night. I came back down and started going through my phone. I had 11 new texts… and not a single one from Alice or Rose. I've never felt so popular in my life. The first ones I saw were from a number I didn't recognize saying things like "Did you make it home Bella?" "I can't sleep until I know you're home" I could feel the blush creep on my cheeks. I glanced at Edward and saw him looking up at me from the couch. He must've been able to tell what I was seeing, cause he smiled lightly at me. I saved his number, wondering how he actually got mine. I went back through to find the other texts and it was also a number I didn't know. One text was asking where I went to, another one was inviting me to a party at about 2 am. I stared confused at my phone. I started rambling off the number to the girls to see if they knew who it was. They were just shaking their head but when I looked at Edward he had a look of pure terror on his face.