Hi you guys and once again thank you so so much!
It's been several weeks again, sorry about that..
This probably isn't my best work because I'm having an awful headache, but I felt like I should write something anyway.. hope you can handle it.
Wow it's the tenth chapter..!
Chapter 10 ~ Confessions
Stirring awake, I can feel someone wrapping their arms around me. I don't have to open my eyes, I know who he is. Keeping my eyes closed I snuggle up close to him, the closest I can get and rest my head on his shoulder, encouraging him to squeeze me tighter. And he does.
"Did I wake you?" Chandler mutters in my hair.
"Maybe."
"Sorry," he apologizes.
"It's okay," I say, unable to hold back a yawn. "I'd rather spend time with you than just sleep."
He pulls back slightly to look at me. I open my eyes, finding him looking into my eyes in wonderment. I could say, he looks almost sort of.. surprised. Once again admiring the color of his eyes, I return his gaze. "Morning, sleepyhead," he says finally.
"Morning, sweetie," I smile at him sincerely. But he doesn't smile back as he seems to be deep in thought. Why is he looking at me like that?
"You looked adorable in your sleep," he states quietly, his tone almost wistful.
I would definitely say something more flirty or make a comment, but he looks so serious so I just settle with, "Thank you." Seriously, I've never seen that kind of expression on his face. He's not smiling at me. He hasn't kissed me yet. Where is that grin I can't get enough of? I'm kinda afraid to ask. I shouldn't be, but I am.
"Is.. everything okay?" I ask.
There's a brief pause as he looks down for a second, breaking the eye contact for the first time. "Yeah."
I let out a sigh - wow, he must be at least just as terrible liar as I am. "What is it?"
"Nothing, I'm serious."
"Yeah, I can see you're serious and it's freaking me out," I say, more firmly. "I know you well enough to tell something is obviously bothering you."
"No, Mon. Nothing is bothering me," he says, trying to pull me closer again to avoid my gaze, but I stop him. He looks at me, almost offended.
"You really think I'm gonna drop this now?"
He breaks off from me. "You should, um.. probably go."
I frown at him. "What?"
"I mean it's 5:30, you don't wanna get caught or anything."
I let out a snort. "I don't care. I'm not gonna go until you tell me what's up," I say, strictly enough to let him know that I really mean it.
He shakes his head before getting up. "It's the same as usual," he says, starting to pace around the room. "But it's so much more than that, you know?"
I look at him, confused, waiting for him to a clarify.
"Of course you don't know," he sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I'm freaking out, okay? That's the truth. 'Cause when I was watching you sleep there.. I thought, 'gosh, she's gorgeous, what is she doing with a guy like me?' You know, you could get any guy you ever wanted. Why me?"
Before I have time to answer, he keeps going. "You know what else I realized? This isn't just a fling anymore, it's not just about two friends having sex. I mean I... care about you," he says. "And I know I'm gonna screw this up. Big time, I'm telling you. But I don't wanna screw this up. This is the first time ever when I can honestly say that I don't want it to end. But I can totally see it in my head, you know, you slamming the door, yelling and calling me something awful enough to perfectly describe me. So I don't know what to do when that happens."
"Chandler.. come here," I sit on my knees on the edge of the bed. As he walks up to me tentatively, I reach out to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close in a hug. I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as I can feel him hugging me back. I feel his racing heartbeat through his chest, and I wait for it to settle a bit. We stay there for several seconds before I break the silence. "Better?"
I hear him sigh. "It's just too soon to feel this way, you know," he says.
Oh, I know. I pull back to meet his eyes, smiling slightly. "If it makes you feel any better, I think I feel the same way."
"Really?"
I nod. "I care about you, Chandler Bing." If we're going with care, that's good. Like is too mild, love.. well, out of the question. It's way too soon, right?
I can see a sparkle of joy and relief in his eyes before he leans in to make our lips meet in a soft kiss. And it really stays that way as we just let our tongues rest for a change.
I pull back slightly to meet his eyes again, playing with the hair on his nape. "How are you so sure that you're gonna mess this up?" I ask quietly.
"Because I've always messed it up," he says, just as quietly. "And besides this is different."
"Maybe that means that this time you won't screw it up."
"I will. I just know I will."
"Well yeah, you probably will if you've already decided so," I say. "But you need to talk to me. Whenever you feel like you're freaking out or something, just tell me. I'm scared too you know, 'cause this really is different from every other relationship I've ever been in."
"In a good way?" he asks hopefully.
"Of course in a good way! What kind of a question is that," I say with a smile. "And the fact that this is going so fast is kinda exciting to me. I don't wanna scare you or anything by saying this, but um.. I think there might be something really special between us."
"You feel that too?" he asks, surprised.
"Yes," I say with a grin. "You really are insecure, aren't you?"
"Huh.. I thought I've already shown you otherwise," he smiles slyly, his fingers starting to play with the clasp of my bra I'm wearing.. why am I wearing them, though?
"Hmm.. I guess I need a reminder," I play along.
"Well I am disappointed that you don't recall the last time but okay," he says before kissing me again, this time with more passion. Quickly lying me down on the bed, he keeps our lips locked.
Hey - it's still nearly six in the morning! "Not now," I break the kiss reluctantly, explaining, "I really do need to get to my place before Rachel wakes up."
"Okay, so I'll be quick then," he says, starting to kiss my neck. God, he's already found my weak spot..
I close my eyes. "Seriously, she could be up any second now," I say, honestly caring much less than it seems.
"Five minutes," he mutters against my throat.
"Mhm.." I let my hands trail absently across the skin of his back as I can feel him against my thigh. "Okay."
"Oh wow," I repeat, my breathing still shallow.
"I know," Chandler says.
"That was a pretty darn good five minutes, gotta say," I say after getting up from the bed, starting to gather my clothes.
"Yup, and we're exactly on time," he says with a smile, watching me as I put on the few pieces of clothing I have with me.
Last, I put on my robe. "I like guys who can keep their promises," I say and walk over to him to give a goodbye kiss.. well, it's not like we're going to be apart for along time or anything, but I'm still gonna miss him.
He lingers the kiss on purpose, his hand caressing my cheek gently - I know he's trying to get me to stay over here. But even though I really want to, I can't. Rachel is not that stupid. I pull back, smiling at him as I start making my way to his door.
"No, no, no.. wait, do you really have to go?" he asks with pleading eyes, sitting up.
I let out a sigh. "You know I do. We don't want everybody to know, right?"
He shrughs. "Fine.. you're right."
I smile apologetically. "I'm gonna miss you."
"Ditto, Mon," he says, giving me a sad grin.
Before I reach out to open the door, he stops me.
"Wait, I'm gonna.. walk you home," he says.
I let out a snort. "Chandler, I live right across the hall!"
"I know," he says, putting his robe on. "But there are still many dangers along the way."
I can't help but laugh. "Really? I think I could handle these nonexistent dangers."
"I know that too, but I'm still gonna walk with you," he says, determined.
"Aww, what a gentleman thing to do," I smile. "I know you're only trying to get an invite at my place."
"Could I get an invite to your place?" he asks hopefully.
"No," I giggle as he finally opens the door for me.
As I step out of his room I see something.. definitely unexpected. Rachel and Joey. Together.. kissing in front of the apartment door. What the hell's happening?
Before I get to ask my question, someone else does. "What the hell's happening?" Chandler asks, causing our roommates to notice our presence and stop.
Breaking away from each other, they look at us, almost as shocked as we are. "I didn't know you two are kissing these days," I say as we get no response.
"We're not," they say in unison.
I look at Chandler, confused. "I'll have to ask again, what the hell's happening?" he says.
"I don't know, we just.. I can't, I mean.." Rachel stutters. "Well, I-I couldn't sleep so we were just watching some movies after Joey's date which didn't work out, and-"
"Joey's date failed?" Chandler asks in shock. "Dude, what happened?"
"She took my fries!" Joey says.
"Oh my god, is she okay?"
"Guys!" I interrupt. "So you were watching a movie, and..?"
"Well, we started talking and I.. told him about Mark and my job and then I uh.. kissed him."
"Rachel!" I exclaim. "What have we talked about this?"
Rachel sighs, ashamed. "It's not right to seek comfort from sex with the next guy I see.."
Yeah.. I'm glad I've never done that myself though. "Exactly," I confirm, ignoring Chandler's smug grin. I'm more pathetic than I thought.
"Sorry, Joe," Rachel says.
"For what? I just made out with a hot chick, the only thing you should be apologizing for is to not letting it go on."
The three of us just roll our eyes at that.
"But.. wait a minute, what about you guys? What were you in Chandler's room for, Mon?" Rachel asks, frowning.
"Yeah, what's going on?" Joey asks too.
Rachel's hand flies onto her mouth as she gasps. "Don't tell me that you're-"
"No!" I cut her off. I'm not sure how her sentence was about to end, but I'm sure it wasn't far from the truth which we're still planning to keep as a secret. "I.. Oh.. It's that, um.." I stutter, having no idea what to say. We can't tell them yet, we just can't. I glare at Chandler - it's time for him to come up with something.
"Well, we were just..." he sighs, running his hand through his hair nervously as the two keep staring at us. "We um.. we made out a little bit."
"What?" Joey asks in disbelief.
"What?!" I ask too. What is he doing, we're not supposed to tell them?!
"Well, see, we were just um.. talking, and Monica was kinda upset and I was comforting her.. but that was it, just two kisses! We realized it was really stupid, so she was just about to leave and then we bumped into you guys," Chandler explains. Thank god. That's good enough, right? Oh gosh, are they gonna buy that?
There was a brief silence. "What?" Joey repeats.
"It's nothing. We're friends just like we've been so far, that's all," Chandler explains.
"Really? Well, what about -" Rachel starts but is again cut off by me as I realize Joey still doesn't know everything.
"Yeah, Chandler's right. We should just forget this night ever happened," I say. "We all did stupid things, but it's over now. Breakfast tomorrow - nothing happened. Let's go home, Rach."
Rachel gives me a suspicious glare before slowly following me to the door. "Goodnight," I can hear Chandler say. Unsuccesfully trying to suppress my smile, I respond, "goodnight."
As soon as the door to the guys' apartment closes behind us, Rachel turns to look at me with narrowed eyes. "You two are the worst liars in the whole world," she points her finger at me accusingly.
Oh boy..
Haha, I know I wasn't expecting this Joey and Rachel thing to happen.
What do you think? Do you still think that I should make them get together, or should I just leave it like that? Either way, Mondler will always be the main couple of this story.
Okay guys, I need to ask you a question. Do you think I'm like a sex addict or something? 'Cause I just realized I've been writing so many scenes in that direction lately, for my both fics.. maybe I'm overreacting. Oh well, I might be a freak, but let's just say it's just because Mondler are hot!
Anyways, what did you think of this chapter? :) Reviews reviews..