Round II

by Seamagik

Nickeldime17 wanted to play the alphabet game again and asked me to supply the prompts; everyone knows I have a fangirl crush on Nickledime17, so here you go. Round II of the Max and Alec alphabet game with new Seamagik supplied prompts.

10. OP

A/N: For those of you that never visited my LJ, this is a crash course for you on how FULL OF CRACK I am! YAAAAAY!

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O is for Oz

Rated T

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"Hello?" She called into the apartment. When nobody called back, Max frowned, pulling the gloves from her fingers, stuffing them into her back pocket. She knew they were here, she could hear them talking. She followed their voices into the living room, disgruntled by their blatant act of ignoring.

"No, no, no," Alec was saying, leaning forward in the old, red armchair. "You got it all wrong."

"Joshua never wrong," Joshua was saying stubbornly back, sitting right across from him in a matching green.

"Max is the one that-"

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Max glared suspiciously between the two. They both turned to look at her in surprise, drawn unexpectedly out of their disagreement. They leaned out of their earnest positions, Alec looking disgruntled at the interruption, Joshua smiling, happy to see her.

"Just talkin'." Alec shrugged, his expression relaxing.

Her head cocked to the side. "About what?" 'Cuz she'd heard her name and now she wanted to know.

"Books," Joshua said, with a smile, but Alec was strangely silent.

Max pretended surprise, turning on Alec, her eyes wide. "You know how to read?"

"Very funny, Max." Alec scowled, standing abruptly, walking away. Max frowned in surprise, then rolled her eyes. Whatever.

"Max not very good at joking." Joshua said plaintively when she turned to look at him.

"It's not my fault he's sensitive." Max shrugged.

"Max never nice to Alec." Joshua frowned, and then he stood too, walking to the bookshelf, and what the hell? Ugh, she never should have let Joshua share an apartment with Alec. Her big friend was obviously being corrupted by her annoyingly necessary and indispensable Second in Command. That or he was right and she was usually a bitch to Alec, despite the fact that they were kind of supposed to be friends now...

Max sighed.

Rather than apologize (to Josh, never to Alec) Max followed, glancing down, and tried to smooth it over with the transhuman, leaning into the bookshelf next to him. "What book you talkin' about?"

"Just book," Joshua shrugged, his eyes scanning the worn bindings.

"Didn't even know Alec liked books," Max glanced away.

Joshua paused, turning to look at her, and his eyes glinted in amusement. "No boob tube."

Ahhh, that explains it. T.C. wasn't exactly known for its cable hook-ups. Or water hook-ups. Or electricity, for that matter. Or- She shook her head out of the thoughts. She could fill a page with all the stuff that T.C. did not have. More than one. She did that all day long, actually, so why think about it now?

"What do I have to do with books?" Max questioned, 'cuz she knows that she heard her name, from Alec's lips no less, and that couldn't be a good thing, and Josh should just tell her now before the curiosity destroyed her (and possibly Alec by default).

"Comparison," Joshua smiled. "Joshua says that Max is Dorothy."

Alec's voice rang out from the other room. "She's the Wicked B-"

"Alec thinks that Max is the Wicked Witch." Joshua talked over Alec.

"The what?" She glared. She had no idea what the hell they were talking about, but it didn't sound good at all.

"From book," Joshua turned back to the bookshelf, pulling off a small book in an orange binding. He flipped through the pages for a moment before turning and smiling, tapping her gently on the head with it. She drew away frowning, and he extended it out to her, smiling. "You read."

Max sighed, her voice gentle. "Listen, Joshua, I'm busy and-"

His voice brooked no argument. "You read."

Max sighed again, taking it from him, glancing across the worn cover. Slim fingers danced across fanciful characters, faded by time. "Frank Baum? What is this, a kid's book?" Ooooh, she was so making fun of Alec. So he could read, but he couldn't read past a fifth grade level?

"I heard that!" Alec's annoyed voice came from the other room.

"I didn't say anything!" She shouted back, turning to scowl at the open doorway. "And if you're just going to sit in there and eavesdrop, you might as well come back in here." She added in a mutter, under her breath, "You big baby."

Alec lounged in the doorway, his arms folding across his chest. "Now, I know I heard that."

Her eyes glanced across his bare feet and the red sweats, the thin grey t-shirt and the mussed hair. "Plannin' on comin' into work anytime today, Pretty Boy?"

"It's Sunday," Alec frowned. Before she could open her mouth, he continued. "Max, you gotta let me have at least one day off. I'm no good to you if I can't decide between napping on the floor of Command or tearing out my hair in frustration. How am I supposed to make executive decisions-"

"Not my problem."

Alec rolled his eyes, pushing out of his lean. "God, you're worse than the trainers at Manticore." He stomped off, back to his room, grumbling under his breath. "Even they let us have some days to ourselves."

"Are you getting dressed?" She called.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm goin'."

Max smiled, turning to look at Josh, who was frowning disapprovingly at her. "What?"

Joshua shrugged and backed down, apparently lacking the courage to tell her whatever it was he was really thinking. She walked back to the front hallway, shoved the orange book into her Jam Pony pack, still abandoned by the door, and waited impatiently for Alec to get his butt in a move-on. She'd only left Command and crossed T.C. to Josh and Alec's shared apartment to come and get him. He was eating precious hours of daylight; they needed to be on call in case something happened, not arguing literature.

Alec appeared in the entrance, surly, and she had a feeling it was gonna be one of those days; one of the ones in which he didn't much talk to her. The only thing worse than those days were the ones in which he was in a good mood, and wouldn't stop talking to her.

When they got there, Command was dead.

"Uhhh, Max? Where's all the action?"

Max shrugged. "Most people are taking the day off."

"Are you kidding me?!" Alec exploded.

Max shrugged, again. "Someone's got to man the fort. I'll be in my office if you need me." She walked off, ignoring Alec's evil stare boring into her back. She refused to feel bad for dragging him out on a lazy Sunday afternoon… or for being kinda bitchy to him. Maybe he did deserve a break, maybe she did too, but who else was gonna do it if they weren't here? The place was practically empty.

Alec glared around at the few people in the command center. "Who wants to make me coffee?" It's not that he was bossy or a lazy jerk, it's just that everyone was always more than willing to help him out anyway. It was kind of a 'thank you' for being the buffer between Max and everyone else.

Max, in her office, tossed her pack onto her desk, sinking into her chair, which squeaked loudly in protest. The thing would probably give out one day, old piece of crap that it was. Here's hopin' Alec wasn't in the room when it did because she'd probably never hear the end of it if she fell on her ass in front of him.

Maybe it wasn't really busy, maybe Alec's annoyance was well founded, but Max loved Sundays at Command. Usually things were fairly quiet and she could just kind of hide in her office. If a call came in for a rescue, here she would be, but otherwise… She leaned forward, opening her pack and pulling some folders out. Eyes Only dossiers, a few inventory files, a couple of letters she was composing to Seattle PD… Joshua's book slid out as well, and she frowned, glancing at it.

Logan's files were always monotonous, most of it was stuff he'd verbally go over with her anyway. Really, she was saving herself some boredom and inattentiveness later by not reading them. The inventory files… she was so tired of going over those, just looking at them made her feel suddenly sleepy… The letters… Maybe she should make Alec do that. Annoying as he was, he had a quick wit and a way with words and maybe he would be better suited. He usually said her letters were 'terse', which they both knew was just a nice way of saying 'bitchy.'

Which left Joshua's little book. The one that he and Alec had been arguin' about. She picked it up, glancing in the front cover. It was relatively thin, but holy crap, the little novel had thirteen sequels? Jeez.

"What are you doing?"

Max snapped the book shut, glancing up at Logan. "Hey." When had he gotten here? Probably when she was out getting Alec. Maybe someone had told him where she'd gone, and maybe that was why he had those little frown lines between his brows.

Whatever his deal was, he frowned at the book in her hands. "Have you looked at those files I gave you?"

"Not yet," She admitted.

"Max, I gave you those files a week ago."

"I'll read them eventually," She lied.

"That's what you said last time," Logan frowned.

"Well, this time I mean it." She tossed the book on the desk.

"Max, if you don't want to help me out, just say so."

"God, did I say that, Logan?" Max leaned back into her chair, glaring across the room at him and ignoring the pained creak of her chair. "I don't mind helping you out, but reading stuff you're just gonna go over with me anyway kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?"

"I only go over it with you because I know you don't read the files," Logan said, his face unhappy and bland all at once. He stepped forward, his exoskeleton whirring away. Logan never noticed it. Max pretended that she didn't hear it, but it was always there, in the background. He leaned forward over her desk, picking up the little orange book that Joshua had forced upon her. She started to protest, but locked it down.

"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz," Logan mused aloud, flipping through the pages. "Good book. I have memories of my mom reading this to me when I was a kid. It's an American classic."

Max's expression softened as Logan brought up his mom. But Logan, who had given up childhood a long time ago, and who knew everything about everything, started droning on. "They say that Frank Baum wrote it as a political commentary of the 1890's. The silver slippers in the story are actually supposed to represent-"

"I haven't read it yet," Max interjected, quickly. If Logan droned on about it, she might never find any interest in it, might only be able to hear Logan's monotone picking apart the text when she opened the worn binding, and she wanted to know who this Dorothy person that Josh had mentioned was (not to mention the Wicked Witch). What was so wrong with just taking something at face value once in a while, especially something like a children's book? Everyone always had to suck the magic out of everything.

Logan frowned, his monologue cut prematurely short and he glanced up at her in something akin to disgruntlement. "I was just going to-"

"Well, like I said, haven't read it yet… soooo…" Besides, Max, who had never had a childhood to begin with, much less one she could put behind her… Children's stories always held a peculiar sort of fascination for her. Logan shut the book abruptly, placing it back on the desk, looking suddenly annoyed.

"Please read those files," He nodded at her as he left. Not even a goodbye.

This is what the virus, and her lie, now in the open but just as damaging, had reduced them back to. He'd been so mad when he'd found out she hadn't been honest about her and Alec, that they weren't really together and she'd just been trying to push him away. He'd said that he thought they were stronger than that… Technically, they were back together, but she'd never felt so far apart. If they were alone in that car again, like they had been a few months ago, would he still say he loved her? Would she believe him? She felt so tired, so worn out… Sometimes she wondered if Logan's heart was still in it. She wasn't entirely sure hers was anymore, not when things had gotten so distant, and so chilly, between them.

You know what? Screw him (the thought only caused a teensy tinge of guilt). Today was a Sunday. It's not like she was taking down his big, scary, evil men today anyway. Why should she be sitting here moping, like usual. Whining about her lovelife, like usual. She just wanted one day to herself, was that too much to ask? She scowled, reaching forward over her desk, making a grab for that thin book.

Max flipped open the cover with a frown.

So it was a kid's book. It was still enchanting, she still lost herself in it, she still was totally gonna kick Alec's ass for comparing her to the Wicked Witch. Not that she found much similarity between herself and Dorothy, either. She didn't even like dogs.

She was leaning back in her chair, feet up on her desk, completely engrossed in her book, so close to the finish, when the door suddenly banged open and Alec's loud, annoyed voice washed over her. "HEY, Max! I've been frickin' calling you for ten minutes!"

But Max, who had totally been sucked in, was startled, and the old chair squeaked in sudden, unhappy protest as she reared backwards… And then there was a loud noise, and a sharp pain, and everything suddenly went black.

....

...She was swimming through darkness, searching for the light. In the distance, she heard a voice, a familiar voice, calling to her, but, stubbornly, she refused to go that way. She'd go her own damn way, thank you very much Logan Cale. She stomped (now she was walking?) off in a different direction, when the floor suddenly opened up below her, and she was falling, falling-

Wha- What happened?

Max opened groggy brown eyes slowly. God dammit, that stupid damn chair must have- But the chair, that she was still in, was on top of something else and Max bolted upright, pausing to look around in confusion. This was an office, but it wasn't her office. It was all concrete and polished steel and… and… And that, that had most definitely not been there.

That happened to Renfro's prone body upon the floor, underneath Max's rickety, broken chair. Oh god… Max had killed Renfro… again.

The door slammed open, and Max whirled in surprise, and a transgenic was lookin' back at her, just as surprised. He glanced down at Renfro's unmoving body and his eyes widened.

"Did you-"

"I just got here!" Max shook her hands in warding, backing up. There was no mistaking it, she was back in Manticore. Oh no. What if… What if everything that had happened… Alec, Joshua, the virus… what if it had all been a warped vision of Psy Ops, what if…

The transgenic stepped forward and grabbed her hand, and Max tried to wrench it away, but he held on tightly… and started shaking it enthusiastically.

"You saved us!" He beamed. "We're free!"

"I did?" Max questioned, being jerked around by his enthusiastic fist pumping. "We are?"

Other transgenics were filing in, looking at the evil director's body in a shocked kind of daze. Max searched their faces for Alec, hoping he would appear, hoping he could tell her what the hell was going on. Renfro couldn't die twice. Or could she? Max shook free of the transgenics grip and pressed a hand to her head, which pounded in pain just for a moment. This was all wrong.

"Max?" O.C. was pushing through the crowds.

"Cindy?" Max's hand dropped away from her head and she promptly forgot what she'd been thinking. "Cindy, what are you doing here? We gotta get you out of here!"

"What? Why?"

Max grabbed her friends arm, dragging her through the celebrating crowds (where did they all come from? And… were some of them singing?!) "If Manticore knows you know about them, they'll-"

Cindy shook free of her friend. "Boo, you trippin'. You took down Manticore. Renfro's dead."

Max's eyes widened. "But… I didn't mean to kill anybody. She was just in the way of my chair."

"What?" Cindy blinked. "Max, Renfro got shot, remember?"

"But-"

"Girl, haven't you realized you dreamin' yet?"

Max glanced around the stark hallway that was so familiar, exactly as she remembered it. She pressed her hand to a very solid, very believable wall. "I am?" She couldn't be. It was too real.

"Of course you are, why else would I be able to do this?" Cindy snapped her fingers, and suddenly they were outside, on the concrete training grounds, and Cindy was wearing a rather large, pink, poofy dress.

Max blinked, looking around. There were still transgenics around, talking excitedly amongst themselves. She still didn't see Alec. "But… it feels so real." She pinched herself for good measure, regretting it when her skin protested.

"Trust me," O.C. shook her head. "It may feel real, and it may look real, but it ain't."

"But if it's not real, and it feels real…" Max trailed off. You know what? This wasn't even her problem. She only cared about one thing. "How am I supposed to get home? I've got stuff to do."

The woman sighed. "You just gonna hafta wake up, boo."

"How do I do that when I'm not even sure I'm dreaming?" Max scowled, ignoring the fact that that sounded a lot like dream logic, especially considering the fact that Cindy had just poofed them to the outside and herself into a rather gaudy pink dress. With sparkles.

Cindy shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe you should go to Terminal City and ask the C.O."

"The C.O.?" Max blinked, and something in her mind protested loudly. She ignored it. "I guess. But how do I get there?"

"You could just follow this really obvious road that you didn't notice before."

Max glanced down at the really obvious brick road that she hadn't noticed before. "I guess," She grumbled. "If I have to."

"Girl, why you always bein' so difficult? You don't always have to be grumblin' you know."

"Since when did you start giving out advice?" Max huffed.

"Max, I always been your Good Fairy." Cindy smiled. "Just 'cuz you don't always listen don't mean I'm not talkin'."

What do you want me tell you, Max? Maybe it's time that you accepted that you and Logan-

Max pushed the memory down, looking into the distance, down the road, through the trees, to a large city and the recognizable Space Needle. "Well, I guess if I want to get out of here, I better get going." Max glanced at her longtime friend with a soft frown. "You coming?"

"Me? Girl, please. I got a hot hookup with the Good Witch of the South. Besides," Cindy pursed her lips in annoyance. "walkin' is so bad for my pores."

"I guess." Max frowned, and started taking off down the brick path that was a rather unnerving shade of red.

"Don't you need shoes?"

Max paused, glancing down at her bare feet, then glancing back at her friend, who was arching an eyebrow. She caught the combat boots that Cindy tossed at her easily.

"Got 'em off Renfro." Cindy said.

"That's disgusting!"

"Would you just put them on?! It's called story continuity. We need some parallels, okay?"

"Fine," Max huffed.

"And take this cat with you."

"What?! I don't even like cats!"

"Well, you dislike dogs more!" Cindy argued. "And you need something small and furry with you! Just pretend it's your feline side, going along for the ride in a different body or something."

Max stared distrustfully at the small black cat that was staring disdainfully back. Max didn't like the feline side of herself, either, so how was that supposed to help? To her ultimate annoyance, the cat stalked right up to her and pounced. She caught the thing, awkwardly, trying to keep a hold on her boots, and the cat clawed its way up her front, settling around her shoulders, an annoying tagger-alonger that she had a feeling she couldn't get rid of even if she tried. Even stooping down to put her stolen boots on didn't dislodge the damn thing. Ugh. Why was she even putting these things on? They clashed with her checkered blue dress something awful.

"Well, don't forget," Cindy shrugged. "Follow the brick road. And whatever you do, don't leave the path. It never ends well." With that, Cindy abruptly waved her hand, her pink dress was suddenly much more revealing, and the woman was clicking off in high heels to find the Good Witch of the South or whatever. Max sighed, turning, looking again down the path that was a particularly blood-curdling shade of crimson.

"Well, mini-Max," Max glanced at the cat, still curled around her shoulders. "Guess we should get goin'." Mini-Max just stared scornfully back. Maybe the cat disliked her as much as she did it. Huh. She'd never considered that before.

Max only got a short ways, maybe a mile or so, before there was a slight rustle off to the right. She paused, peering into the thick bushes. And almost shrieked, rearing away, when she realized someone was looking back.

"Do you think you could help me out?" The man, he looked so familiar, asked.

"Maybe," Max hedged, keeping firmly on the path. "Maybe if you come into the light."

"I would," He sighed from the shadows, "but I can't move."

Her curiosity got the best of her and she took a small step forward. The cat hissed in annoyance, but she ignored it. "Why can't you move?"

"I'm rusty," The man sighed again. Light glinted through the treetops, illuminating something below him, something shiny, just for a moment. "Some Bad Guys got a hold of a rather large pitcher of water and-"

Max took a tentative step off the path and the cat yowled in annoyance, right in her ear. "Shush," She said to it. "We're just going to help him. It's not like we're going to hang around and date him. What's the worst that could happen?" She stepped through the trees.

The man was standing next to a tree, and while he was tapping his fingers impatiently against the trunk, his legs were indeed, completely immobilized. Covered with a bulky tin aperture, every joint and bend was completely caked in rust, doubtless restricted from all movement.

"There's some oil over there," The Tin Man frowned through thin rimmed glasses, pointing helpfully to a stump just out of his own reach. Max did not exactly rush over there, she hmmed and hahed and dawdled a bit, but decided maybe helping him out was the right thing to do and maybe she had to. She told herself it wasn't her fault he was stuck, after all, it had been Bad Guys that had gotten him stuck like that! ...But the feeling of responsibility gnawed at her… maybe if she had been there, she could have prevented this from happening, chased the Bad Guys off… or something. Whatever. She grabbed for the oil, stomping back over to him.

"Wait!" He cried, as she was about to put the oil on. "You have to read the instructions first." She glanced back at the stump, and there they were, the instructions. She slogged her way back through sticks and leaves, feeling like she was fighting a rising tide, back to the stump. Somehow she managed to make it over there and she picked up the folder, reading quickly through the material. But as she was reading, the rather annoying man started telling her how to do it as well.

"Look," Max growled. "Do you want to tell me how to do it, or do you want me to read how to do it? Just pick one, okay?"

"Really," The Tin Man said with perfect candor, "I'd like to do it myself. I don't really trust anybody else with a mission this big. But, it is what it is, and I need your help."

She didn't read any more instructions. She straight up tossed the pot at him. "Fine!" She hissed, sounding remarkably like mini-Max on her shoulder. "Do it yourself!" The can of oil bounced off the man's chest, splattering down his front, greasing the joints of the tin around his legs.

"Hey, I can move!" He twisted experimentally. He glanced up, beaming, seemingly surprised that her unplanned maneuver had worked even better than his carefully crafted plan.

"Good for you," Max replied in boredom, already making her way back to the path.

"Wait! You're transgenic, right?"

She turned back to the blonde man, and it didn't even occur to her to ask him how he knew that. "Yeah, and?"

"Do you think you could stick around? I'd really like to totally exploit you and use you to do my bidding."

Max's mouth dropped open. "What did you just say?!"

"I can get you something out of it." He said, his eyes narrow and crafty. "You need something?"

Max thought of Alec, of Joshua, of Logan, of her friends and her family, all of them undoubtedly waiting for her to return. "Do you think you can get me home?"

"No, but if I act like I do, feeding you little tidbits every once in a few episodes, do you think that would be enough?"

"What?" She asked, confused.

"No, what about if I flirt with you then? How about that? Would that be enough to keep you around?"

"No!" Max hissed. "God, if you wanted to exploit me, don't you think you should have hid it a little bit better. Why be upfront about something like that?" She whirled on her heel, making to stomp off once more, but the annoying older man followed after her.

"Look, I'm sorry," The Tin Man sighed, not sounding particularly apologetic, sounding more like he thought that he was always right and she was unreasonable. "But it's not my fault. You see, I don't have a heart."

"Well, I coulda told you that," Max didn't even pause in her undignified stomp back to the path, boots crushing defenseless leaves and twigs and whatnot. The cat's eyes gleamed wickedly at the man trailing behind them.

"No, I'm serious! I really don't have a heart." The Tin Man seemed morose, and Max paused as her foot hit the red bricks of the path, and a small part of her actually felt a little bad for him.

"Look, I'm really sorry…" She turned, "But, I'm going to see the Commanding Officer of Terminal City… He's supposed to know how to get me home. I just don't know how to help you."

"Well," The blonde man scratched at his chin for a moment. "Maybe I can go with you. Maybe he'll know how to get me a heart. Failing that, maybe at least he'll get me another side character that's also madly in love with me, thereby selling my ultimate desirability to the audience." He paused, thinking hard for a moment, before adding, "Preferably blonde and younger than you."

Max scowled, annoyed and strangely insulted. "Fine. You can come along… Just… try not to talk, okay?"

Yeah right. All he did was yap, yap, yap. He probably yapped about other people yapping, but the man was the ultimate yapper, the yapper extraordinaire. He knew everything about everything, and he didn't have any problem with sharing it with her. She was almost glad when another cry for help split the air a half hour later. Much longer, and her teeth would be ground down to nubs, all her hair pulled out, and her fingers stuffed so far in her ears, they'd never be extracted. At least not without the help of a surgeon.

"Heeeelloooo? Help? Anybody? Anybody?"

Her heart quickened. That sounded like- She pushed off the path without a second thought, leaving the Tin Man, befuddled, behind. Max pushed through cornstalks, making her way through the field and paused as she broke through all the crops and came to a clearing. She slumped in disappointment, still staring up at the beautiful man tied to a stake like a scarecrow. So much for finding someone she knew.

Hazel eyes widened as they caught sight of her. "Oh, hey, hey, hey, you. You think you could get me down from here?"

She frowned. The cat made an odd purring noise that annoyed Max and made her tempted to leave the man here. "Maybe. How'd you get up there in the first place?"

"Thaaat's not important," The man said, making a little 'meh,' face, waving one hand as best he could.

Max arched an eyebrow. It was probably his own fault he was up there, anyway. Why should she have to help anyone else out today? She was expending all her energy on the Tin Man, she didn't know if she had enough room to be doin' anyone else any favors. Doesn't matter if his nice, white shirt was open, or if he did have a rather fascinating, defined chest.

But the cat leapt from Max's shoulders before Max could completely turn away, and landed on the crossbeam of the bar, beginning to gnaw at the ropes that held one of his arms stationary. The Scarecrow's eyes lit to green fire and he smiled slowly.

"Stop helping him!" Max hissed at mini-Max, but the cat mostly ignored her. Grudgingly, figuring she could get out of here a whole lot sooner if she put her opposable thumbs to good use, she stomped over to the man, pulling the ropes from him easily. He all but fell from the beam, straight into her, and they toppled to the ground, Max letting out an 'oof' as he landed atop her.

How the hell had his hand-

Max shoved her blue checkered skirt back down, blushing slightly, and he retracted his hand from between their bodies, from her thigh, with a wicked grin. "My bad," He said, not lookin' like he meant it. If he'd meant it, he probably would have gotten off of her already. The cat leapt from the crossbeam, landing on the man's back. Mini-Max peered at Max from over his shoulder, eyes glowing golden.

"Will you please let me up?" She huffed, ignoring the cat staring her right in the face, and the man that seemed to be checking out her breasts that suddenly seemed to be better displayed in her bodice… that she could have sworn hadn't been as tight… or as low-cut… before.

"I like it here," He grinned, wiggling against her. The back of her dress was probably super dirty. Great. This was all his fault. If only he hadn't accidentally landed on her, her dress would still be pristine. She wasn't sure, but she thought that maybe she arbitrarily hated him. Then again, maybe he reminded her of someone. Maybe that's why she hated him. Nah, it was probably just a general, random sort of hate.

Something caught her eyes, and her arms lifted, circling his shoulders… and she plucked some straw from the back of his open white collar. "What the hell is this?"

"Farmer's daughters." The Scarecrow winked. And Max suddenly had a feeling she knew why he'd been strung up in a field. Max huffed in disgust, abruptly shoving his laughing form off of her.

"Pig," She scowled, standing up, brushing off dirt from her hem. She made to stomp away, but he caught her hand easily. She frowned, looking down. She had yet to touch the Tin Man, so the Scarecrow goin' for immediate touchy-feely… she felt a little uncomfortable.

"Where you going?" He asked.

She remained mute, glaring stubbornly, and finally he sighed. "Look," he said. "To be honest, I have nowhere else to go. You think… maybe I could go where you go?"

"But you don't even know where I'm going yet!"

"It doesn't matter," He said softly. "I just want to be with you."

She gaped in surprise. "W-What?!"

He backed down immediately. "Then again, I'm not exactly known for my bright ideas. To tell you the truth, I don't have any sense."

"You mean you don't have a brain?" Max asked, in suspicion.

"Are you kidding!" The Scarecrow scowled. "I'm full of brains! I'm up to my ears in brains!" He paused, and then muttered, petulantly, "But sometimes I think the connection between my brain and the rest of me isn't so good. I always seem to be getting into the worst binds."

Max frowned, and even though she arbitrarily hated him, she felt kind of bad for him and finally sighed. "Look, I'm going to Terminal City to see the C.O.. Maybe you can come with me. He might know how to get you a brain."

"I told you," He scowled. "I have brains."

"Yeah, whatever." She stomped off, back through the cornfield, calling over her shoulder. "Listen, if you're coming with me, you gotta stop all this arguing and just agree with me, okay? If I say you don't have a brain, you say-"

"Who the hell is this guy?" The Scarecrow demanded as they broke through the crops, looking at the Tin Man, still waiting on the path for Max to return. "He's not your boyfriend, is he?"

"Him?" Max questioned, making a face. "No, we're not like that. We can't touch."

"What?" The Tin Man demanded. "Why not?"

"Because I'm pretty sure if we did touch, the urge to strangle you would be overwhelming," Max sighed. "Can we get a move on now?"

The Tin Man was lookin' over her blue checkered dress in confusion, though. "Wasn't your dress looser before? And didn't you have an undershirt and a neckline that wasn't quite that low?"

The Scarecrow smirked.

"Can we just go?" Max hissed. There was nothing remotely sexual in her chemistry with the Scarecrow, things didn't just go and get heated when she met him. Her dress had no correlation to their charged banter in the slightest. Man, this place was annoying. She couldn't wait to get home.

Walking was such a pain, especially now with two men by her side. The Tin Man also seemed to arbitrarily hate the Scarecrow, which was so not even allowed. Only Max was allowed to arbitrarily hate the Scarecrow and his lack of brains.

Speaking of Max… where the hell was mini-Max? Max started to look around in sudden surprise. Ever since she'd met the Scarecrow and brought him back to the path, her cat seemed to have disappeared completely, which was so random and confusing and so different from the first half of the story arc.

Max relaxed, noticing that mini-Max was just curled around the Scarecrow's shoulders, having apparently found someone more comfortable to nap on. Oh good. It was still around. It was just sleeping. It would probably wake up eventually, but Max hated that cat anyway, so really, it was better that it stayed asleep. The Scarecrow glanced at her, hazel eyes glinting, and he smirked, and Max shivered and hoped that he wasn't still around when the cat woke back up… Because he was annoying, and the sooner he was gone, the better. She was just sayin'. Her brain wasn't making some strange association between the cat on his shoulders and anything else. Nope. No way.

"I think your dress just got shorter," The Scarecrow rumbled.

"Shut up!" No chemistry, she told herself. No chemistry, no chemistry, no chemistry. Goddammit, where the hell was Alec when she needed him? He could probably get rid of this guy.

The winding path took them past the last of the cornfields, and into another forest. One much spookier, full of smoke and steam. Trunks resembled great, upright pipes, rivers resembled streams of sewer sludge… It was like a forest made from the artifacts of Seattle's hidden underground. Man, how long did it take to get to T.C.? An entire season?

While Max was grumbling to herself, and mini-Max was purring in sleep, while the Tin Man was glaring at the Scarecrow, and the Scarecrow was humming to himself, ignoring everybody, that's when it happened.

It being… well, not much of anything, really. A rather timid creature poked his head around a tree, glancing at them. They all managed to walk right past him without even noticing.

"I feel like we're forgetting something," Max mused aloud, slowing to a halt.

The Scarecrow perked up.

"Something that doesn't involve a sex scene or witty banter," Max huffed.

The Tin Man glanced up.

"Or a long monologue." Max tapped her foot in impatience. That's when she caught sight of the face, peering at her from the darkness between trunks of white PVC. She blinked in confusion. "Hello?"

The Scarecrow whirled, the Tin Man turned a bit more slowly, and a creature walked slowly out of the shadows. The cat did wake up, then, hissing, leaping back to Max's shoulder, but Max shushed it gently. Just because it looked like a dog, didn't mean it was one.

"Hello?" She tried again, taking a tentative step forward.

"Cat," The large dog man sniffed. "Cat on your shoulder."

"Don't hold it against me," She smiled. The dog man smiled back, a little unsure.

"I'm cat, too." The dog man suddenly grinned in enthusiastic sharing, revealing large canines.

"Uhhh…" The Scarecrow started.

"What kind of cat?" Max asked in confusion, trying to keep her voice warm, gentle, and soothing.

"Lion," The so-obviously-not a Lion puffed out his chest proudly.

"Umm…" The Tin Man began.

"Be quiet, you two," Max whirled on the men behind her, snarling like a tiger. "If he wants to be a lion, let him be a lion."

"Jeez," The Scarecrow glanced away. "Mama bear, much?"

"Seriously," The Tin Man agreed, glancing in the other direction.

Something loud clanged off in the distance, and the large Lion winced, hunching into himself. Max glanced, but could not see anything through all the smoke. Her hand found the larger man's sleeve, and she patted at him gently. "It was nothing. Just something outside the forest."

"Outside." The Lion's blue eyes widened. "Lion never been Outside before." And he hunched back into himself.

"You're not afraid, are you?" Max asked in concern.

The Scarecrow leaned into the Tin Man. "She does know that guy is as old as you are, right?"

"I'm not old," The Tin Man snapped back.

The Scarecrow frowned, "What are you talking about? You have a Please Use By date stamped to the tin on your ass. And lemme tell you, you don't have a whole lot of freshness left in you."

"I despise you," The Tin Man scowled.

"It's okay to be afraid," Max smiled up at the much larger man, ignoring the other two behind her. "People are often afraid of what they don't understand."

The Lion nodded slowly. "Yes… Lion… afraid, too."

Max frowned. "Don't be afraid." She thought for a moment. "Hey, I know! Maybe you can come with us to T.C.! I'm going to see the Commanding Officer. Maybe he can give you some courage!"

"Oh, never saw that one coming," The Scarecrow rolled his eyes, turning back to her. Max snapped around, hissing, "Shut up," and even the cat seemed to take a shine to the Lion, because it was also hissing. The Scarecrow shrugged, 'cuz as snarky as he was, even he seemed to like the Lion. Maybe he just wanted to use the much more timid man in his brainless hijinks. Then again, as they all started walking again and the Lion gravitated towards the Scarecrow, sort of excluding the Tin Man, maybe they were just kind of kindred spirits. Go figure.

"Come on, Lion, stay with me." Max turned, when the Lion had started to dawdle behind, looking off in the distance at some vision that Max couldn't see. The Lion hunched back into himself, quick to keep up.

"Man, don't let her boss you around like that." The Scarecrow frowned. "You're a grown man."

"No courage," The Lion reminded with a look.

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"That's because you have no brains," The Tin Man said breezily, but probably just because he was heartless and annoyed at being left out.

"Would you people stop saying that!" The Scarecrow huffed in aggravation.

Max ignored them all, because they'd finally made it through the woods… and they were here! This was it! The gates of T.C. The party suddenly became somber, quiet, as they walked through the flaming X's, past the chainlink, and into Terminal City. Funny… but it looked kind of… grungy. Not at all what she was expectin', really.

"Hey, how's it goin'." It was the same transgenic from before, the one from Renfro's office.

"How did you get here before me?" Max asked in confusion.

"Less dialogue. Hey, are you here to see the Wizard?"

"Wizard?" Max made a face.

"Oh crap, sorry, I meant the C.O."

"Yes," Max nodded. "I need to get home. And they-"

"Listen, Ma'am, I'm just followin' orders, you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm just supposed to bring you to the C.O."

"But you're free," Max protested. "You don't have to follow orders anymore!"

He blinked in confusion. "How are we supposed to run an effective military campaign if we're all willy-nilly? We'll never be free of Manticore, not really. Anyway, I digress." He glanced around their grey, dilapidated surroundings. "Oh, I almost forgot, I can't let you into Terminal City until you put these on." He picked up a sack from the ground, pulling something out.

"What are these?" She asked, as the transgenic handed each one in their group a pair.

"Rose colored glasses. You're not allowed into T.C. without them."

Max frowned, but finally sighed and slipped the glasses on… Y'know… actually… this place wasn't that bad. They could build a life here. There's no way anyone would be bombed into oblivion… In fact, a single drop of blood would never have to be spilled, because she could get Logan to move in, and they would find a cure to a virus that had written itself into her DNA, and he could convince the populace that everything was hunky dorey and she'd adopt some puppies and plant some flowers and there would be hugs for everyone and-

The Tin Man and the Lion were equally distracted, following Max and the Extra Transgenic (that would undoubtedly move to Canada soon) into the heart of T.C. Those heart shaped, rose colored glasses sure did a whammy on them. The Scarecrow threw his away when no one else was looking, and frowned at the barely livable conditions, the poor defenses, the children without enough food. He turned to Max, opening his mouth, but would fall back silent, the words caught in his throat, when he saw the dreamy smile on her face. He sighed to himself, and reminded himself that he'd said he'd go wherever she went.

They got all the way to Command, to the heart of T.C., before they were stopped.

"What? What do you mean we can't go in?" Max demanded, rereading the rather large memo attached to Command's front door. Not even the pink tinted glasses saved her from the annoyance.

"Oh, that's a shame." Disposable Transgenic shook his head. "Guess you can't see the C.O. yet."

Max ripped the memo down, the paperwork making her oddly annoyed. Why was there always so much paperwork? Why couldn't she just kick someone's ass and be done with it? The cat on her shoulder, also peering at the memo, seemed to agree, one tiny fang sticking out of its lip.

"What's it say?" The Scarecrow crowded one shoulder as the Tin Man crowded the other.

"We have to go kill some Wicked Witch of the West person." Max scowled.

"Anyone have a gun? I can make it fast." The Scarecrow said solemnly.

Max and the Tin Man gaped.

"What?"

"I don't do guns," Max scowled, just as the Tin Man was saying, "Killing is wrong!"

"Well, guess you'll just be stuck here with me, then." The Scarecrow smiled wickedly at her.

"Shut up," She snapped back, and oh great, now her dress was strapless, before turning back to Unnamed Transgenic. "So, how do we get to this Wicked Witch?"

"Well," He scratched his hair of indeterminate color. "You followed the brick road that's an eerie crimson color here, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I wouldn't worry about that, the Wicked Witch will probably find you on her own. She's rather attached to the brick road. Lots of memories, you see. Plus, you squished her sister with your chair. She's probably pretty pissed."

"She?" Max asked with a thoughtful frown. "Huh, I expected the Wicked Witch to be a male."

"Really?" The Transgenic That Would Probably Die At The Hands of a Familiar looked confused. "Why?"

"I'm not sure. Something just tells me my nemesis is supposed to be a man. A snake-like man, no less."

"Hmm," The transgenic thought quickly. "Well, the Witch is supposed to have green skin. And I suppose a sex change could feasibly have occurred. It's been a long time since anyone's seen her… or him."

"I really hate this place," Max sighed, turning away from Command's large doors, heading back for the exit.

"Don't forget to dispose of the glasses in the recycle container on your way out!" The transgenic called after her.

"Yeah," The Scarecrow rolled his eyes, "Because we'd hate to mess the place up."

They walked, dejected, back through the flaming X's (after disposing of the heart-shaped, rose colored glasses in the recycle containers). "How are we even supposed to find this Wicked Witch?" Max asked. "We don't even know what she… or he… looks like."

"What about that scary castle over there?" The Tin Man pointed. "You think she might be there?"

Max frowned at the castle in the distance. The dark, terrifying one up on the very tall mountain surrounded by thunderclouds and a general sense of death and foreboding. Lion whimpered. "I don't know." She said. "Maybe. But we can't go there, anyway. Going off the path leads to trouble."

"You don't know that." The Tin Man said soothingly.

"Yes, I do. I met you guys when I went off the path," Max scowled.

"Good point."

"But I guess I don't have any choice, do I?" She sighed. She shrugged as well. "Well, let's get goin'."

"That's the spirit." The Tin Man nodded, as they took their first few steps off the blood red path. And immediately found themselves swept in tumultuous winds, pulled away from each other. Strange, but the first one she reached for was the Scarecrow. Maybe because he reminded her of someone… someone she had gotten used to saving… Whatever.

The cat was still with her when the wind finally stopped howling, stopped tossing her about. That was something at least. Everyone else was gone. She was alone in a large chamber, lit by candles. Funny, she couldn't wait for the Scarecrow and the Tin Man to stop yapping, but the silence actually bothered her a bit… and poor Lion, he must be so worried.

"Funny thing about Winds of Destiny. They often leave us alone," A voice, strangely familiar, said musingly. Max whirled in surprise. It wasn't just a chamber. It was a rather large throne room. And there at the end of the echoing emptiness, upon a throne of stone, atop a large dias-

"Who the hell are you?" Max demanded, but figured she probably already knew.

"Me?" The woman blinked. "I'm the Wicked Witch of the West, obviously." She stretched, slowly, on her throne. Leather pants were so constricting.

"But I don't know you," Max scowled.

"What's that got to do with anything?" The woman tossed her long dark hair in annoyance, sitting back up. "You don't know the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, or the Lion, not really, but that didn't stop you from including them in your little fairytale. Hell, you don't even really know your cat that well, but yet, here it is."

"That's different." Max scowled. "I can't get rid of the cat."

Max paused, then frowned. "Besides, weren't you supposed to send your flying monkeys to get me?"

The Witch's brown eyes narrowed in amusement. "What do you think this is, some kind of creepy kid's book? There's no such thing as flying monkeys." She clapped her hands, and a rather scary looking half woman/half shark stepped from the shadows carrying a rather large gun. "I would have sent one my transhumans to get you, if I'd really wanted to. Luckily, your destiny brought you to me anyway."

Max shook her head as the transhuman stepped back, blending back into darkness. "No, this is all wrong. Shouldn't it be a Familiar, or White that I'm facing off with?"

The woman stood, exuding a cool kind of sexuality, and slunk down the steps of the dias. "Well, that's the thing about heroes. Before they can go to the big time, first they must face the darkness in their own hearts."

"I'm pretty sure this wasn't in the book," Max muttered.

"It wasn't." The Wicked Witch's full lips twisted in a smile. "You didn't finish reading the book, remember? You don't know how this story ends."

Oh no. The Witch was right! How the hell was she supposed to beat a Witch? Oh. Right.

By kicking her ass.

Max threw herself at the queen of darkness, but the woman dodged out of the way, like she'd known it was coming. She jumped easily over Max's sweeping kick as well.

"How do you think you can beat me," The Wicked Witch smirked. "I'm part of you, I know every thought before you think it, every move before you make it."

"Shut up!" Max roared, rushing the woman, but she slid out of the way.

"Do you know who made that blood-stained path leading to T.C., Max?" The Witch arched one cool, eyebrow. "That was me. So many people went into that… Zack… Ben… Tinga."

"Stop talking!" Max grabbed at a candle, flinging it at the woman, but she batted it away. Hot wax splattered through the air as it crashed to the stone floor, rolling away into the edges of the room and into sucking darkness.

"You know," The Witch said conversationally, the epitome of evil. "Maybe I'll add your other friends to it as well before this all over. Logan, and Alec, and-"

Max's hand finally made contact, nails raking across the Witch's beautiful, familiar face, and the woman shrieked, leaping away. She brought up one cruelly clawed hand to her caramel skin, touching a scratch, touching blood.

"I won't let you sacrifice anyone." Max scowled. "Anyone other than me."

The Witch backed down, backed away, a hint of fear showing in her eyes. Ahh, self-preservation. Now she was hitting herself where it hurt. "Now, Max, don't talk like that. You don't have to sacrifice yourself at all! You don't even need T.C.." When Max remained silent, looking suddenly troubled, the Witch pressed on. "It's so much hassle and for what? Nothing. Nothing but hatred from the Ordinaries and the deaths of your friends. Let the Ordinaries fight for themselves when the Coming comes. It's not your job,"

"Nice try," Max's chin lifted, her jaw firm. "But I've heard your voice before sister, and lemme tell you, just because I hear it on the outside of my head, instead of the inside, doesn't make it any more believable."

"You're just stressed." The Wicked Witch frowned. "You need to take a break is all. Maybe have some time alone with Logan outside the fence, think this through-"

"I don't need to think anything through, and I sure as hell am not going to let myself be distracted from what's really important by something as meaningless as pasta." Max was advancing on the Witch. "I made my choice a long time ago. I'm not running away anymore."

"No one's telling you to run," The Witch replied, soothingly. "I'm just saying to be smart about this. Stop thinking with your heart and-"

"I'm not running away from anything," Max continued on, like she hadn't heard the Witch. "Not from you, not from T.C., not from my destiny… Not from anything."

"Wait!" The Witch suddenly held up a hand, and an orb appeared, hovering in the air. "Are you forgetting something? I have your little friends." The orb split into three, showing each of her companions, the Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow.

"Let them go," Max scowled, slowing her advance. She had forgotten. She was still in the Witch's power, she had to save her friends. "Or I'll-"

"You'll what? Bounce me on my bitch head? Hate to break it to you sister, but I know all your moves and this is my domain. Besides," The Witch replied in boredom. "They are quite content to be around me, even without you here."

"Yeah, I get it, I can be a bitch, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to leave them here with the dark side of my personality." Max scowled.

"How about I let one go," The Witch smiled. "How about that, Maxie?"

"Don't call me that." Max snapped.

"Oo, you sounded just like me when you said that. Gave me chills." The evil woman's smile lifted, her brown eyes crinkling in delight. Something within Max resolved to never say that again.

"Now," The Witch continued, pointing at each little bubble in turn. "Which will it be? The cowardly Lion that cannot stand up to you? The Scarecrow that you treat as a brainless tool? Or the Tin Man whose heart is no longer in the right place? None of them will leave your side, so I think you must pick the one that I will spare."

"And the other two?" Max scowled.

"Well, they'll stay here with me, of course." The woman blinked in confusion. "We both know you only have it in you to love one person at a time, anyway."

"But you treat them like crap!" Max scowled.

"So?" The Wicked Witch shrugged. Then paused… "You think maybe you can leave the Scarecrow here?"

That was kind of a sadistic little smile.

"C'mon, Max, take the Tin Man, leave the Scarecrow with me."

"Gross," Max made a face. "You're acting like you like hurting him." Like like hurting him. Like in a tingly way. Oh, barf.

"I do," The Witch's eyes lit up. "Evil, remember?"

"This dream sucks," Max muttered to herself. Something caught in the air. The whole world seemed to come to a hushed, ready, standstill.

The Witch froze in horror. "What did you just say?"

"I said, this dream sucks!" Max glanced up, and holy crap, this was a dream! There was no way she was sitting here talking to an evil duplicate of herself in a faraway, creepy castle, trying to decide upon the welfare of one of her friends. Nothing in the world would keep her from taking care of all of them. And no way in hell did she get tinglies from hurting Alec, that was just sick on a level she didn't even comprehend. She wanted to protect her friend, not hurt him, not if she could help it, not anymore.

"Oh man, that stinks. Once you admit it's a dream, you can wake up whenever you want," The Witch scowled. She glanced down. "Nice boots by the way. Don't really match that skanky dress, though."

Man, she was evil.

Just as Max was about to force herself into consciousness, she turned to look at her dark side and frowned. "Hey, do you know who the C.O. of T.C. is?"

"The Commanding Officer?" The Wicked Witch made a face. "Oh, didn't you guess? That's you too… Just, you know, the really responsible, do-goody, annoying side. You'd probably hate her, too."

"I really need to lay off the caffeine," Max muttered to herself, right before she forced herself awake.

Guess there'd be no hot closet rescue scene with the Scarecrow after all. Oh well.

She was walking in darkness... and then she was swimming into the light, and a voice was in the distance, a familiar voice.

"-ke up? Can you hear me?"

She made a soft sound, pained, in the back of her throat.

"Maxie?" The voice was gentle, and her eyes fluttered in response. Slowly they opened, and Max squinted into the bright light, at the hazy form before her. But even if she couldn't see with the glare in her eyes, she knew-

"Alec?" She croaked.

Alec relaxed, and Joshua, behind him, slumped. Logan, across the room, a safe distance away, sighed in relief.

Her hand went slowly to her forehead, her eyes squeezing shut. "What happened?"

"I came in and you were pretty sucked into your book." Alec shared a glance with Joshua. "I guess I startled you and you started to get up, but that piece of crap chair practically fell apart. You fell backwards and hit your head on the windowsill before I could even get halfway cross the room." Not even going into the fact that he had made a run for her, like some kinda knight in stupid, shiny armor.

"But it was so real," She muttered. She glanced up at them, still hovering over her. "You were there, and you were there, and-"

"Okay, we get the idea," Alec said blandly. "We were all there." Alec glanced at Josh again. "Somebody hit their head a liiiiittle bit hard."

"Shut up," Max managed, struggling to sit up, and collapsing backwards. Logan stood, concerned, Alec reached for her, but it was Joshua that caught her, helping her sit slowly the rest of the way up.

"Would you like me to drive you home?" Logan asked, warm and concerned, a far cry from the cold man he'd been earlier.

Max shook her head, immediately regretting it. "No, I gotta-"

Joshua frowned at her. "Max needs to go home. Get rest." Max frowned at him, but Josh just arched one nonexistent eyebrow, refusing to back down.

"I'll take her." Alec frowned, and his hazel eyes were still concerned. Maybe they didn't always get along, but they were friends, and riproaring fights or not, he did care about her. Logan started to protest, but Alec shook his head. "No, Logan, be smart about this. If she gets dizzy, what are you gonna do? Let her fall on her face?" And before anyone in the room could protest, Alec's arms slid around under Max and he lifted her, bridal-style, coming to his feet fluid and easy.

"I can walk." She frowned at him.

Alec ignored her. "Hey, Loge, be a pal and get the door, man."

"Seriously, Alec. Two feet. Still attached to my legs. Fully functional." She kicked them experimentally and even that made her head rock in nausea, how unfair was that? Ugh. Concussions were the worst. She hoped she wouldn't have to be laid up in bed too long. Her face colored in shame as she felt a few eyes on them as Alec carried her through Command. Thank God it was a Sunday and the place was mostly empty.

"Just so you know, if you tell anyone what happened-"

"Slow and painful death, I gotcha, Maxie." Alec nodded. And maybe it was just because she was hurting, but she didn't even get the urge to snap at him when he used her nickname.

It wasn't until they were out the front doors that Max gave in and let her head pillow gently on his shoulder.

"I had the weirdest dream," She muttered.

"Really? 'Bout what?" He asked, his arms tightening around her.

She pressed a hand to her head. "Ugh, I've forgotten already." She sighed. Then said, thoughtful, "Y'know, I didn't even get a chance to finish Josh's book before you concussed me." And now she'd be too dizzy to focus on words for the next couple of days.

"Hey! That wasn't my fault!" He paused before adding, "Y'know… I know how the story ends… I could… tell it to you, if you want."

She nodded as best she could, and then she relaxed a bit as she saw her building coming into view. "Hey Alec?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't really think I'm the Wicked Witch, do you?"

"Yes," He smiled. "I really do…" She remained silent and he grudgingly admitted, after a moment, "But I think there's a bit of Dorothy in there, too."

Her arms lifted, wrapping around his neck, her fingers glancing across black lines, as her hazy mind started to shut back down, and something slightly like a purr rumbled out of her unthinking chest.

"What are you doing?" He asked, suddenly tense as something catlike in him noticed her back.

"Checking you for straw." She mumbled, her eyes shutting, her breathing evening.

Wha-

"What the hell was that all about?" Mole asked, peering out the window as Max and Alec disappeared up the street.

Joshua blinked, turning to the other transhuman. He smiled slowly. "Scarecrow was always Dorothy's favorite."

"What?" Moles beady eyes went even more narrow in confusion.

Joshua handed an orange book, the one he'd picked up with a frown as he was leaving the office, to the other transhuman. Mole blinked down at the thin book in confusion.

"What the hell is this?" Mole asked.

"Is book," Joshua rolled his eyes. "You read."

"Yeah, right. I don't read nothin' that don't have naked pictures in it, buddy."

Joshua just shook his head, walking off.

"Frank Baum," Mole mused to himself, when the other transhuman was a safe distance away. The worn pictures on the orange binding made him think this… this… thing… might be a children's book, and he found himself vaguely wondering if Eve was too young to be read to. He should probably check it out, make sure it didn't have any corrupting elements, first.

Didn't have anything to do with the fact that having no cable seriously sucked and he spent most his nights bored out his mind.

The book wasn't that large, it was no match for his superior intellect, and he got through it fairly quickly. There were definitely some creepy elements in there. He might have to wait till little Evey was a little bit older. Flying monkeys? Melting witches? Seriously. Creepy. He stalked across the kitchen, not even noticing that some dish soap had leaked from a cabinet, a container must have burst, and made a small area of the floor slick and dangerous and Mole's leg shot out from under him before he even realized what had happened.

Mole cocked his shotgun, staring down at the kid that was smiling way too big. Never trust smilers. That was Mole's motto. "What the hell are you supposed to be?"

The kid proffered him some kind of children's candy, something on a stick. It looked sticky and sweet and positively revolting. "We represent-"

"Yeah, whatever, shrimpy." Mole grabbed the candy, tossing it into the bushes. The child immediately started to cry but Mole, being Mole and only caring about one child in the world, ignored him, stomping on down a path made of gold. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could see a rather ginourmous ammunition factory off in the distance, and the path seemed to be leading straight to it. He didn't know where he was, or how he'd gotten here, but he was relatively sure he was low on ammo and needed a fill up.

"Aren't you going to tell him about the witch?" A small, round face peered up at a woman that Mole couldn't see but that looked remarkably like Gem.

"Why? He'll just shoot her if he sees her anyway," The good fairy shrugged with a smile, watching the large transhuman skip off down the yellow brick road.

"Are you at least gonna tell him he's wearing a dress?"

"Are you kidding?! Do I look like I want to die?"

---

P is for Pig

Rated K+

---

"But… what are you going to do with it?"

"Eat it," Josh's eyes gleamed in glee.

"But it's so cute!" Max exclaimed in horrified disbelief.

The little, tiny, defenseless baby pig made little whuffling noises inside its cage, and if you'd have asked Max, those noises sound remarkably like little cries of terror, begging her to save him.

"Max, is my pig!" Josh cried in dismay as Max stomped out of his digs, the little black pig tucked securely in her arms.

"What the hell is that?" Alec shot off her desk, away from the animal that was rooting at his feet.

"It's a pig," Max shrugged, barely looking up from the letter in her hands.

"Yeah, I can see that," He replied blandly, and she could feel his steady stare boring into the top of her head. She glanced up in irritation, schooling her features into disinterest in the face of his arched eyebrow and twisted mouth and lips that just would not stop yakking. "What's it doing in your office?"

"I saved him."

Alec pondered for a quick moment before focusing back on her with a slight frown. "Is that why Joshua was so upset this morning?"

"Well, I couldn't let Josh eat him!" She defended, a little guilty, finally dropping the letter in her hands to focus more wholly on the conversation (and hence, her defense).

"Why not?" He demanded. "If you brought home a chicken, I'd let you eat it."

Something cat-like gleamed in Max's narrowed eyes, her mouth twisting in a sadistic little smile. "That's completely different." There was a hint of a purr in her voice, and it made Alec's mouth twitch in amusement.

"Hardly." He paused, glancing down at the little black creature that was snuffling at his shoe. Okay, so it was kind of cute. "Why is it so small and hairy?" He covered up the sissy reaction. "Aren't pigs supposed to be all huge and… not hairy?"

"It's a baby," Max finally stood, glaring at him. "And he's supposed to be hairy, he's a potbelly." She crossed round the desk quickly, swooping down to lift her pig quickly, like she was trying to protect it from Alec's less than enamored reaction or something.

Alec shook his head, "A potbelly? And you know this how?"

"Logan," Max pet the top of her little piggy's head lovingly. Logan. Of course. Alec rolled his eyes. Maybe it was that hint of bitterness that made his mouth keep moving.

"Yeah, well, good luck on growing him to a ripe old age. In T.C.? Come on, Max, he'll escape and he'll be dinner before you know it." Best not get attached, that was Alec's motto.

"So I'll put up a memo or something," Max shrugged.

"What? Attention transgenics; eat my pig and be prepared to die?" Alec rolled his eyes. Get attached and cling by the very last of bloody fingernail fragments, that was Max's motto. He'd have been more annoyed, but her unfailing refusal to give up had helped save his ass once or twice… and Joshua's too. Now, if only her stubbornness didn't apply to one Logan Cale…

"If I have to, yes." She scowled, sinking into her chair, still holding her pig, oblivious to the way Alec's eyes had gone distant.

Alec made a face, hardly conceding that half his attention had wandered to her… could it be called a relationship?... with Logan. Had to give him props, the disgust on his face was multi-purpose, and it really did look like he was focusing on her and the pig in her arms. "That's just not even hygienic."

"I gave him a bath, stupid!"

He released thoughts of the Ordinary to focus on Max in amusement. "You bathed a pig? Isn't that kind of defeating the purpose of pig-kind?"

Max huffed in annoyance. "Did you need something, or did you just come to bother me?"

He paused for a long moment. That answers that question; he'd just come in to bother her. He must have seen her roll her eyes, because he covered up the facts quickly. "Of course I need something," He scowled. "You think I like putting up with you?"

"Okay. So, what do you need?"

A long moment of silence.

One thin eyebrow arched in amusement. "Well?"

"Hold on," he huffed, "I'm thinking."

"You're stalling."

"I'm bored," He conceded.

"I know," She smiled. "But what do you want me to do about it?"

"Put down the pig for two seconds and entertain me,"

Her response was immediate and cheerful. "Get lost."

She named the pig Rocko. Even a week later, Josh still got bent out of shape every time he saw the little black pig that had escaped his very large cook pot. He couldn't stay in Command very long on the days that Max brought Rocko with her to the office. Actually, he couldn't hang out with Max much, either, telling Alec that she smelled like 'dinner', much to Alec's amusement… Much to Max's horror when Alec relayed Joshua's sentiments to her when she was being all bad moody because of Josh's avoidance.

"It's not so much that he's still mad at you," Alec said soothingly. "More, it's that he thinks you smell like pork chops."

"That's ridiculous!" She exclaimed.

"He's got the nose of a dog," Alec shrugged. "You can't fault him for that." Max's steely-eyed expression said otherwise, said she can and would.

"Fix this," Max glowered at Alec.

"What? Me?!" He exclaimed, "I don't have anything to do with this! You're the one that stole Joshua's dinner in the first place!"

"Josh likes you," Max made a face, like she couldn't understand why, but it was more habit than real sentiment. "He'll listen to you. Convince him to stop avoiding me."

"Do it yourself." He replied in boredom, hoping this wouldn't take much longer. Him n' Max, him n' Josh, yeah, Best Friends Forever, or whatever, but drama over a pig was a little beyond him. He could be doing something useful right now… like inventorying stuff or making fun of Logan… yeah… that last one sounded good.

But Max was still all hell-bent on talking his ear off. "How can I when he runs the other way before I even get a foot in the door!"

"Well, shower once in a while, Bacon Bits."

He ducked out of the way of the pen, dropped himself to a low crouch to avoid the lightweight stapler, and yelped when the balled up memo bounced off his head, probably because he'd been expecting something much heavier to crash against his skull. He straightened slowly, oddly grateful that he wasn't suffering from a concussion (god, being near her had screwed up his outlook on life) and he sighed, very much put upon.

"You want me to get Joshua talking to you again?" He asked. Her look said 'duh,' but he ignored it. "Then I'm going to need to borrow your pig,"

"No way!" She glanced down at her pet, sleeping at her feet, then back up at her friend in wariness.

"You want Josh to talk to you or not?!" He demanded. Max scowled and would say nothing. Alec rolled his eyes. "God, Max, I won't let Joshua eat your frickin' pig. Have a little faith, won't you?"

Grudgingly, she gave in to him, and he took Rocko, disappearing from Command. There was nothing to worry about, she told herself. Joshua's loyalty and trust in Alec was second only to Alec's loyalty to Max... there was no way Alec would let Josh eat her pig... She hoped. Max teetered on nails for the remaining afternoon, and the sun was setting when she could no longer take it, when she had to stomp across T.C. to Joshua's apartment. She was so angry, so scared, by the time she made it up the steps, she half expected to hear the quick pop of fat frying or, even worse, smell bacon. So, when the door slammed open, she wasn't expecting-

Rocko was wrapped in a blanket, like a baby, being held snuggly in Joshua's arm as the large man bottle-fed the small creature.

"It's all about perspective," Alec reminded as he sidled up to her, frowning. "I figured the pig was still young enough to know what a nipple is, and I was right. Josh thought of Rocko as dinner. Now he can't."

Max glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, her mouth pressed in a firm line. He was right. Josh was a nurturer at heart. He didn't have it in him to eat her baby, not if they were on the same piggy loving page.

"A thanks would be nice, Max." He said blandly, taking her silence for annoyance. "Jeez, you're acting like you wanted me to let him eat your damn pig."

The word felt harsh and foreign and it fairly grated out of her unwilling lips. "…Thanks."

His eyes lit in glee. "Now tell me I'm your hero,"

Her look told him to stuff it.

"No? What about a little kiss, then?" He leaned in, proffering a cheek. No kiss, just an elbow to the ribs, followed by a slight 'oof' of pain, while he wondered why he bothered. But she smiled in delight at Joshua and Rocko, her eyes warm and vibrant, and it was kind of worth it.

And he hated to admit it, but Rocko was starting to grow on him… Even if Rocko was a stupid name for a pig, he grumbled to himself. Sounded like a wallaby's name or something. She should have taken his suggestion and named the pig Peaches. There was something decidedly sadistic about the name Peaches. Then again, maybe all that pre-Pulse programming was just starting to get to him.

"You know he's just going to get bigger." Logan's voice was knowledgeable and commanding. Alec paused outside the door, unwilling to go in just yet. Logan always got on his nerves when he was in Teacher (Call me Mr. Superiority) Mode. "He won't always be cute,"

"What's your point?" Max's voice was annoyed, which means Logan must have just come in. Any longer, and her voice would be sounding brow-beaten, not irritated. Alec leaned into the wall next to her door, but it's not like he was eavesdropping. They were the ones that had left the office door open in the first place.

Logan continued on, like he hadn't heard her. "Plus, the older he gets, the less he'll like to be held. And pigs, they'll get into anything that isn't bolted down or screwed shut-"

"So I'll train him," Max shot back. "You're the one that told me that they're super smart in the first place. I already got him going in the litter box Josh grabbed for me and he nudges at the door when he wants to go outside."

"Super smart isn't always a good thing. If he gets bored, he could start destroying stuff and-"

"Logan, will you just get to the point already?"

Alec's eyesbrows rose into his hairline. Note to self, if Max can take that tone with Logan over her pig, he probably needed to treat Rocko like a prince to avoid her wrath.

"The point is, I've only been watching him for an hour, and he's toppled my CPU tower, gotten into every one of my cabinets, and eaten all my uncooked pasta-"

"Maybe he doesn't like you." Max interrupted, her voice surly, and Alec wondered if Max didn't much like Logan right now, either.

"Max, I'm just saying that keeping a pig as a pet in the heart of T.C. might not be the best idea."

Especially when your boyfriend doesn't like said pig, Alec snorted to himself. Max might have been thinking the same thing, because she kept her mouth shut. Her silence afforded Logan an opportunity to continue. Her silence gave Alec a chance to hold his breath, knowin' that Logan was about to talk himself into trouble.

"You don't have to play mother to every single thing you come across."

Alec's eyebrows rose. Even he hadn't been expecting that. Max's squawk of outrage, "What?!", made him wince in sympathy.

"Max, be reasonable. You did the same thing with Josh, with Alec, with half the transgenics that stumble in. But this is a pig we're talking about. Sometimes you have to step back and look at things from an objective angle."

"Objective?!" Max demanded. "If I was objective, Rocko would have been eaten by now, none of those new arrivals would know what to do with themselves, and Alec probably would have been dead ages ago! We can't all hide behind the safety of a video monitor, Logan. Some of us-"

"Hi, Alec!" Kristi waved exuberantly from down the hall. The office went deathly silent. Crap. He could either walk in, the few steps necessary to make it in the door making it obvious, to Max at least, that he'd been listening in. Or he could wait out here for Kristi to catch up with him so she could regale him with the newest fascinating tidbits about Micah, her son; spitting, pooping, smiling, the whole nine yards. The decision was easy. He booked it into the office before Kristi could make it halfway down the hall.

"Hey guys." Alec smiled winningly.

"How long were you standing out there?" Logan asked suspiciously. Max just watched him with narrowed eyes.

"Me? Just got here." Alec lied, all seriousness. Serious, because pulling out the charming act would have put them on the defense. Max kept her eyes narrowed, again with the crap, he should have stayed in the hallway. She was mad at Logan and guess who was now gonna get to be the lucky scapegoat? Whee, fun.

But she didn't create an excuse to start tearing into him and he had to pause and blink in confusion when Max told Logan in a cold tone that she'd be by to pick up her pig soon. For now, she and Alec had some paperwork to go over. Maybe she was really mad, and she just didn't want Logan around for the bloodshed. Alec winced as the door shut behind the older man.

Max looked up to see Alec in the defensive; hunched into himself, eyes squeezed shut, hands fisted at his sides. She almost laughed, but instead she asked, "What's wrong with you?"

Alec's narrowly opened one tightly screwed shut eye, but she didn't have anything heavy in her hand to throw at him. And she didn't look like she was about to jump out of her seat to pound on him. Huh. He relaxed. "Nothin', what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," But Max only enunciated hard and sharp like that when something was eating her, otherwise it would have been a drawl, lazy and loose. Proper pronunciation with a transgenic was never a good thing.

"Who do you think you're kidding?" He asked, sitting across from her in a secondhand chair (or thirdhand, or fourthhand, or-).

"Sometimes? Myself." She muttered, and Alec's head swung up so fast, something in his neck popped.

"What?" He demanded. She looked at him, almost surprised, like she hadn't meant to say that out loud. The whole world felt precarious, like something was about to tip and tumble over-

But Max relaxed. "It's nothing." And she pulled out some paperwork that was way worse than a fistfight could have been. Alec only stuck around because he was hoping she might suddenly turn and say something bad about Logan and he could be there to comfort her in a strictly friendly type manner. That and, you know, responsibility and what not. Sucks being responsible when it means you have to pour over a forest of paperwork, a sea of demands from the police, from the mayor, from the governor, from the senators (not all from this state, even), from the president and the secret service and the FBI, etc. and so forth, and each with careful codes of conduct for transgenics to follow precisely or be bombed into oblivion. It was petty, but Alec circled every misspelling or instance of bad grammar; it made him feel better.

"Wanna move?" Alec looked up suddenly when he came across one from the great state of Florida. Florida. Seriously? How could a 6 o'clock curfew in Washington affect the concerned citizens of Florida?

"Yes," Max said honestly, not even looking up. Alec sighed, because he did too, but they both knew she would never go for it, not really. They ('they' being 'she') had decided to make a stand, to fight for their rights, to make a better world for those dead and gone, for those still coming into the world… but still. Seriously. Hermit cabin, in the mountain, just the two of 'em and maybe Josh and maybe Rocko and definitely not Logan-

"Why are you smiling?" Max demanded.

His eyes refocused. "What?" He replied, suddenly tired, and he rubbed his eyes. "No reason."

The sudden defeat in his shoulders was even worse than the weird ass smile. She hesitated only slightly, trying to keep the concern from her face. "Is... something bothering you?"

"No," He sighed. "It's nothing."

"Yeah right," Max snorted and went back to her letter, but her eyes kept darting to him, a little weighing, a little worried.

Okay, so he could admit it, at least to himself if not to her. His thoughts had taken a definite anti-Logan turn lately. So he liked her. A little. Big deal. Didn't mean he wanted to marry her. Probably meant he wanted to sleep with her. Generally, though, he just wanted to be around her (when she was in a good mood) but it's not like anything would come of it. As strained as things could get between her and Captain America, she'd never really kick Logan to the curb. Besides, Alec was probably only having this monumental lapse in judgement because of... Stress? Yes, stress, and being cooped up with her, and always being around her, and having to be her whining board every time something went wrong in her life. She'd never see him as anything more than a helping hand... and not even in a good, kinky way. In a best friend, BFF, platonic, use-as-a-doormat sort of way.

Like the time a couple months later when Max showed up on his doorstep in a panic, and asked him if he'd seen her pig anywhere. Alec sighed and grabbed his jacket, following her out the door. She didn't even turn to check and see if he was coming, just kept talking in those frantic tones. Rocko had gotten a little bigger (at that, Alec finally snorted), so maybe someone had decided- But Alec was only half-paying attention, anyway. He was the first one she'd come to, and he wanted to pretend like that meant something, but really it probably just meant that she was used to him being her doormat (see above, BFF). Joshua was next, and Logan after that, and Logan probably only got included in the search party because he'd happened to be in Command and he had a car. No one could deny that the long months with the virus (and the pig) between them hadn't taken its toll.

But that was neither here nor there, and they split up into search parties. Joshua was in charge of asking around and sweeping the areas near Command. Logan, having a car, would drive Max out to the outskirts of T.C., to continue the search.

Which left Alec with-

"I hate her," He grumbled as he lifted the sewer cover.

It was close to midnight when her spirits started to slip. They'd done a circuit around the outskirts of T.C., and Max had just told Logan to take her back to the front gates, where they'd started from, for their second check. But Logan wasn't game.

"What are you doing?" She demanded with wide eyes as he turned down the wrong street, taking a road that would lead them back into the heart of T.C., towards Command. He didn't say anything, so she turned and looked at him. "Logan,"

Her sullen glare compounded his exasperation. "Max, you're going to have to face it. He's gone."

"Easy for you to say! You're giving up!"

Logan tried to keep his face sympathethic, but with that little bit of exasparation, that little bit of I-told-you-so, his expression was more akin to constipation than anything else. "I told you it wasn't a good idea to keep a pig as a pet."

Max's mouth worked for a moment, soundless, before she pushed herself back into her seat and refused to look at him. "You want me to come in?" Logan asked softly as he pulled to a stop outside of Command. The door slamming in his face was answer enough. Her mood wasn't helped when she pushed through the front doors, and saw Joshua already waiting for her, looking sad and defeated.

"Sorry, Max," He whined, shoulders hunching in guilt. "Nobody has seen Rocky." As upset as she was, she didn't even have it in her to correct him for the one millionth time; Rocko, not Rocky.

"It's okay." She slumped, rubbing her large friend's arm soothingly. "Maybe Alec-" But inside, she could feel herself start to give up. An hour passed with no sign of Alec, and that feeling of painful surrender only strengthened. Another half hour would bring a surge of anger. Alec had probably given up ages ago. He'd probably never started looking in the first place. He probably used her distraction to slip out of T.C. and head to some seedy bar where he could- The door was kicked open and Max's head whipped around, her eyes blazing in rage.

Alec came trudging in, fairly reeking of sewer, but he was burdened by the weight of 'little' Rocko in his arms, and as her rage dissipated like smoke, Alec, he'd never looked more… more… She didn't know. Effulgent? He set down the pig gingerly, glanced up into Max's glowing, radiant face, his mouth opening to hurl his annoyance… and almost fell over when her lips pressed against his own, just for a moment, quick, grateful, spontaneous. She pulled away before his brain could restart, and she scooped up Rocko (with an 'oof') and left before his mouth could ruin it.

Not that he said anything anyway, just stared after her in kind of a bemused silence. Josh sidled up to him, a gleeful light in his eyes, and before he could spill the words from open lips, Alec turned to him and frowned. "Don't even start, pal."

Joshua shrugged, all innocence. And his gentle glee wasn't helped when he saw the large memo attached to Command's front door the following day. It was brisk, abrupt, and it had Alec's sweeping signature across the bottom. Attention, transgenics, it said. Eat Max's pig and be prepared to die.

Max laughed aloud when she saw it, added her own messy scrawl beneath Alec's, and pushed past some of the gawkers. It was a joke, he told Max later, surly and annoyed from all the ribbing he'd gotten. Max nodded solemnly in her doorway, like that made perfect sense, her eyes warm.

"Want to come in?" She asked, and he paused, 'cuz he didn't think she'd ever asked him that before; usually he just barged his way in and she let him because it was too much effort to keep him out. She turned, not waiting for his answer, moving back into her apartment, and he shut the door gently behind him, followed her, a little unsure.

But ever since Alec had rescued him from the sewers a couple days ago, Rocko, who had liked him to begin with, was now beyond enamored of the man, and the sound of the door shutting drew his attention. A piggy head peered around the bedroom door and a piercing squeal ripped through the small apartment as Rocko rushed him. But Rocko wasn't as small as he used to be and a hundred pound of pig suddenly colliding with his legs sent Alec stumbling.

Max caught his shoulders, he caught her waist, and her breasts caught his face. He blinked in confusion for half a moment before looking up slowly, into her wide eyes.

"Don't hurt me?" He tried.

But she relaxed, rolling her eyes. "It was just an accident."

"Yeah," he joked wryly as he straightened slowly, "Like anyone would want-" But she froze, tense, a little self-conscious and used to failed relationships, and he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. His fingers squeezed her waist and he pulled her in abruptly, softer curves colliding with him in interesting ways. "It was a joke," He said solemnly.

Her hands tightened on his shoulders. "Let go of me," and she almost regretted it when he did, stepping away from her immediately. Back into Rocko, still hovering anxiously behind him, and Alec would have fallen backwards onto his butt if Max hadn't caught his flailing arms, pulling him back into her once more.

Alec smiled crookedly at her. "Change his name to Cupid." And then immediately regretted it, wondering how she'd take it. She just stared at him, all wide-eyed and unsure, and kissing her was probably a terrible idea, but Alec was just rife with terrible ideas and he couldn't keep his head from falling forward, his lips brushing against hers.

A few months after that, Max was sleeping like the dead when a loud squeal pierced the night air and a man's curse ripped through the living room. The offender looked up in annoyance to see 452, in a man's oversized t-shirt, glaring at him.

"Special Agent Ames White," She scowled. "You just stepped on my pig. And that's not cool." Her fist crashed into his face, and as he fell to the ground, unconscious, blood pouring from his nose, the owner of the t-shirt she was in paused sleepily in the bedroom doorway.

"Max?" Alec questioned, freezing defensively when he saw White on the ground.

"How the hell did he get in here?" Max scowled, glaring down at White as one might a loathsome rodent.

"I'm telling you. Cabin. In the woods. Seriously." Alec shook his head.

"I don't care if an army of familiars marches through my living room," Max replied stubbornly, stooping down to run a hand across the coarse hair of Rocko's swayed back. "We are not abandoning T.C."

"Fine," Alec scowled back. "Since White obviously knows where we live, we'll just hope for the best. Hey, when he wakes up, we can ask him, when he breaks out of our holding cell, again, and comes back with all his familiar buddies, could he be kind enough to not shoot us in our sleep or set our building on fire?"

Max glared at him, stubbornly, as he turned and went back to bed, Rocko trotting on heavy hooves behind him. Traitor. Which left her to dump White's deadweight into a holding cell on the other side of T.C. with their neighbor Joshua's help. It was a good thing Rocko slept between them that night, huddling into their warmth, or she might have smothered her boyfriend with his pillow.

"You're right," She said softly, the next morning, and Alec almost choked on his eggs.

Which is how it'd ended up just them and a pig, and sometimes Josh, and definitely not Logan, in the middle of nowhere.

Which is really the way he'd wanted it from the beginning.

The pig, that is, not Alec.

Rocko had never liked Logan to begin with.