Chapter Ten: Savior of the Light

Atsuna sat still and silent while she waited for Tasuki to begin the story about his family. She had never seen his eyes so intense, so full of emotion.

"Growin' up in my house was never fun. I was the youngest, plus I was the only boy. My sisters lived to torture me. My mother was no better. She favored my sisters over me just 'cause I wasn't a girl. She let 'em do whatever the hell they wanted with me. After my father died, it got even worse. At least when he was around, I wasn't the only boy. My sisters constantly tortured me. They used to tease me about not bein' a girl like the rest of 'em. They used to dress me up like one, too. I fuckin' hated it. I used to cry when they did it, an' that only made 'em make fun of me more."

Atsuna's face fell. "That must have been awful, Tasuki."

"It was worse. Every time I cried, my mother would tell me I shouldn't do it 'cause I was a boy an' boys didn't cry. When she told me that, it was like she justified what my sisters were doin' to me. It just pissed me off even more," Tasuki continued, his frown darkening. He swore under his breath. "I decided to leave when I was fifteen. The fights with my sisters got worse as I got older. They kept torturin' me even though I was old enough to say no. A nasty fight with my mother pushed me over the edge."

Atsuna ran her hand up and down his bare arm. "What was it? Tell me."

"She said I'd never amount to anythin' in my whole life fer decidin' to be a bandit." Tasuki drew in a shaky breath, shaking his head at the unwanted memory. "She told me if I was gonna be a bandit, I wasn't allowed back home fer nothin'. She'd pretend she didn't know me, that no son of hers would turn to bein' a bandit."

Atsuna's eyes widened. His words felt like a stake being driven through her heart. "She…she didn't actually say that, did she? She disowned you?"

"An' that's puttin' it nicely," Tasuki confirmed with a firm nod. "She said some other things, too. I don't think ya wanna know 'em."

"I do," Atsuna added quickly. "Ugly or not. I wanted to know the truth, no matter the way of it."

Tasuki paused for a moment. "I disappointed her so much that, to her, she only had daughters. I didn't exist to her anymore after I told her I wanted to stay a bandit. She never wanted me, Atsuna. An' that was when I disowned her 'an the rest of my stupid family. I want nothin' to do with 'em, an' I want them to have nothin' to do with ya. 'Cause I was a boy, an' I decided to be a bandit, they all threw me away. An' I didn't give a damn 'cause I saw who they really were," Tasuki continued. "They're selfish an' care nothin' for anyone else but themselves."

Atsuna swallowed the growing lump in her throat. "Is that why you distanced yourself from women? Because of the way they treated you growing up?"

Tasuki nodded. "Yeah. I thought all women were like 'em, till I met you an' Miaka. I know now that all women ain't like that, but…" His voice trailed off.

"It hurts you still," Atsuna finished for him. He lifted his head to look at her. "You cared then, and you care now, how they feel about you. It was wrong for them to treat you that way." She paused, swallowing the hard, dry lump in her throat. "I don't want to put your mother down. It makes me feel awful. I mean, she's your mother. She gave birth to you."

Tasuki scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead an' do it. It wouldn't stop her from doin' it to ya. She had no problem doin' it to me, an' I'm supposed to be her damn son. Do ya think she'd be nice to ya? Yer marryin' the son that doesn't exist to her anymore. She'd hate ya just fer knowin' me."

Atsuna bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. It looks as if we both had a hard time growing up."

Tasuki scowled and nearly tore her arms from her sockets when he snagged her hands in his, jerking her closer to him. "Don't compare yer childhood to mine. I didn't suffer nearly as much as you did. Fuckin' Ryozo." Tasuki tore his eyes away from hers, clenching his teeth together to mask several other curses. "All I wanted was thirty seconds alone in a room with the bastard, an' I woulda been happy."

Atsuna broke into a weak smile. "He's not around anymore. He can't hurt us. That knowledge is just fine with me. Let him go, Tasuki."

He snapped his head up to meet her gaze. "I will when you will."

Atsuna's smile faded, and she drew in a long, steady breath. "It's not an easy thing to forget, all the things he did to me. As much as I want to, it's just…hard."

Tasuki tightened his grip on her hands. "We don't hafta talk about it. Let's just get dressed an' do somethin'. It's nice outside an'—"

"No." Her voice tore through his. "You bore your heart to me. It's time for me to do the same." She cleared her throat before continuing. "What do you want to know?"

"Nothin'," the bandit spat. "I don't wanna hear ya talk about him. I just wanna stay here an' hold ya an' make love to ya an' pretend there's nothin' else in this damn world but us."

"But that's not reality," Atsuna pointed out with a shake of her head. "Ryozo is. His abuse is. You shouldn't hide from it, and neither should I. I think telling you about it will help. I've kept most of it in long enough. He would be pleased to know it was still eating at me after these years have passed."

Tasuki's face fell, and he leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against hers. "All right. If it will help ya, then let's talk about him. But I'm not gonna make ya tell me nothin'. Ya tell me what ya feel ya can tell me."

Atsuna nodded and paused. Her mind raced with all the memories Ryozo bestowed upon her. "Okay." She sighed deeply and blinked unwanted tears from her eyes. "I'll tell you of the very first time Ryozo…"

Tasuki's eyes widened, but he said nothing. Before she could start her story, Tasuki wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, draping her legs over his hips in an intimate embrace. "I'm listenin', babe."

Atsuna made a small noise deep in her throat and nodded once in confirmation. "I had been staying with Ryozo for several months. He mostly had me cleaning, cooking, things like that. I was terrified of Ryozo for kidnapping me, but he wasn't always mean to me. That is, until…" Her voice drifted off for a moment, and she drew in a deep breath. "Ryozo and his bandits managed to steal a lot of money and sake from a caravan traveling to an upper-class family in eastern Sairo. They were celebrating that night. Ryozo told me to go to bed and I could clean their mess in the morning. I did what I was told. But, in the middle of the night, I awoke and could hear the bandits still carrying on. I knew they all had to be drunk by then. I tried to ignore it. I was just about to drift off to sleep when my door burst open."

Tasuki's brows furrowed when he watched Atsuna's eyes glaze over with pain. He could tell she was visualizing the memory. She looked past him, as if seeing the ghost of Ryozo's laughing face beyond Tasuki's shoulder, laughing at her pain, at her weakness. "Keep goin', babe." Tasuki rubbed her arms and nodded gently to urge her on.

Atsuna folded her hands together, fidgeting her fingers nervously. Her eyes fell from Tasuki's as she delved deep into the part of her memory she kept locked up. "It was Ryozo. He was barely standing up. He had a bottle of sake in his hand and he walked inside the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. I made the mistake of asking him what he was doing. He got angry really fast, and the next thing I knew, he…"

Atsuna choked back a sob, wrenching her eyes shut in hopes to prevent the tears from falling. "He was on top of me. He was holding me down by the shoulders. He told me he considered me old enough to serve other purposes for him. I knew what he meant the moment he said it. I tried fighting him, but the alcohol seemed to make him stronger. I thought I would be able to stop him, but…I couldn't. A lot of the memory of him after that is a bit of a blur. He crushed my head against the floor. I think that was why I don't remember the entire thing, of which I can be grateful."

She opened her eyes, permitting several tears to cascade down her reddened cheeks. But she still couldn't look Tasuki in the face. "It didn't take him long to get what he wanted. Thank God he only did it once. I don't think I could have handled it any more than one time. He was so rough with me. I had bruises on my shoulders from him holding me down. He told me that wouldn't be the first time he used me that way, and then he left. I could hear him yelling, boasting, what he had just done. I was afraid they would come after me, too, but Ryozo wouldn't let them touch me. To him, I was his. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or frightened to know only he would be doing that to me.

"I awoke the next morning in the same position Ryozo left me. My clothes were tattered and my body felt broken. I remember everything coming back to me in such a rush that I got sick. I vomited and dry heaved for an hour. I could still feel him all over me, the way his hands roved over my body, the way he felt…inside me. When I finally got my composure back, I realized I was covered in my own blood. I didn't know it until then. It hurt a lot to walk, but I figured that it was all from him taking my virginity away from me so forcefully."

Tasuki moved his hands away from her so he could curl his hands into fists. "Fuck. What a bastard," he swore under his breath. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair as if trying to maintain his temper. As much as he hated it, he was actually picturing it, how Atsuna probably screamed when Ryozo touched her, how Atsuna probably tried fighting against him, how Atsuna probably cried afterwards when she was alone.

"He came to me a little while after I cleaned my room of everything that reminded me of the night before," Atsuna's voice came suddenly. "He acted like nothing had happened at first. He told me to eat my breakfast and then start my chores. I walked around in a stupor the whole day, wondering when he would come for me to…serve my other purpose. And he did. He did every night after that. The more I fought, the more he'd hurt me. There were several times I tried to stop him, and when I would, he would just do it more. He'd hit me and just do it rougher. God, I can still hear him moaning in my ear. I hate the sound of it."

"It's okay to hate the sound of it," Tasuki whispered. He fought the urge to caress her, hold her, in fear he would frighten her after she'd recalled such a destructive memory. "I'd consider ya insane if ya didn't." In his mind, Tasuki was playing the thought of him destroying Ryozo over and over just to satisfy his anger. He hated Ryozo before, just knowing what he did to his soon-to-be wife in her childhood. Because of him, she was tainted of her innocence. Because of him, she was going to be haunted for the rest of her life.

Well, he would just have to do his best to make her look on to better things, things he would give her until he drew his last breath.

He heard her sigh deeply, and she finally found herself able to look him in the eye. "So now you know what it was like with Ryozo."

Tasuki's frown deepened, and he leaned forward, lightly brushing his lips against hers. "I won't make ya tell me anythin' else about that bastard. I guess I can't make ya forget about him, but I can help ya move on from it. He can't hurt ya anymore, an' I wouldn't let him even if he was still around. My only regret is that I knew all this before we killed him. I woulda hurt him even more."

Atsuna smiled and she cupped his face with her hands. "Let's not think about that anymore, okay? The only thing that matters is that he's gone. I'll do my best not to let him hinder me. He's my past, and I would very much like to leave him there. My future lies with you, Tasuki, and I want nothing else but that."

Tasuki's frown curved into a contented grin, showing off his trademark fangs. "That sounds like a plan, babe. I have no arguments there. If ya can leave that bastard behind, then I can do it with my stupid family. I don't care what they think of me anymore. As long as I have ya around, that's all that matters to me." Before letting her respond, his mouth was on hers again, sucking her breath into their kiss. Just as she hoped to deepen their lip-lock, he pulled away with a teasing smile. "Sorry, sweetheart. I have a question I wanna ask ya before we get into any more of that."

Perplexed, Atsuna nodded slowly and lowered her hands from his face, resting them at her sides. "Of course. What is it?"

"As much as I hate to bring him up right now, I hafta know about Kuro," Tasuki said with furrowed brows. "Well, I guess, I wanna know what ya know about him. I know ya hafta get your powers back on your own, but that doesn't mean I can't protect ya. I wanna know what I can do to keep ya safe from him."

Atsuna sat silent in his lap for a moment, pondering his inquiry. There wasn't much she knew about Kuro himself, as a person, but as Kumori's champion, she was well acquainted with the darkness that swirled within him like blood. "Well, it's a complicated matter, Tasuki. I didn't even know who he was until I began fighting with him. It was his power that made me realize he was the Champion of Darkness. There's not much I can tell you about him other than his only weakness is light."

"His only weakness? Ya mean to tell me he only has one?" Tasuki asked incredulously.

Atsuna shrugged. "Well, I simply mean in terms of his power. As a person, I couldn't tell you. He knows my weakness is darkness because of the power I hold. However, as a person, he has come to know my weaknesses stand with Chichiri and with you, the people I would give my life for without a second thought." She lowered her eyes, breaking their gaze. "I never thought to discover his personal nature. I was too wrapped up in my life with you."

"So this is my fault," Tasuki mumbled, his gaze darkening as he lowered his head.

Atsuna's eyes widened and she snapped her stare back up to him. "No! This isn't your fault in the least! It's mine! I should have prepared myself for this. I knew the time was coming when I would be faced with this fight. I was just enjoying our time together." She began sliding her hand up and down his bare arm, grabbing his attention. "I guess for as long as I could, I wanted to believe I was a normal woman with a normal life."

"Christ," Tasuki swore. "I never knew ya thought like that. If ya wanted everythin' to be normal, ya shoulda found someone who wasn't a Suzaku warrior."

Atsuna frowned. "I can't decide who I fall in love with. I fell in love with you, and that's the end of it. What we define as normalcy has been fine with me. I just didn't want it to change, not yet. I knew when this fight came, there would be a chance I'd die. I wanted to accomplish so much before then. I wanted to do more towards my duty as the Champion of Light. I wanted to marry you. I wanted to start our family and have a home of our own."

"Damn it, Atsuna, we can have all o' that," Tasuki snapped. "I'm gonna give it to ya. An' yer not gonna die. I'm gonna protect ya. I'm not gonna let Kuro mess with our lives. Yer gonna get that normal stuff ya want or I'm gonna die tryin'."

"Don't you dare say that," Atsuna scowled, shoving her finger incriminatingly in his face. "How many times have I told you that I don't want you saying you're going to die for me? That's the last thing I want from you."

"Well, that's just too damn bad," Tasuki shot back. He snaked his arms tight around her waist and yanked her against him, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Ya better get used to it, 'cause it's gonna be happenin' a lot if yer plannin' on marryin' me. I'm not changin' anytime soon."

"Do you think I could live with myself if I knew you gave your life for me?" Atsuna asked, toning her voice down an octave as her eyes latched onto his. "I don't want to live my life without you. Do you think it'd make me happy to live without you, whether you gave your life for mine or not?"

Tasuki's eyes softened and he released a much-needed breath of air. "Ya sure know how to make a man feel guilty."

"That's not my intent," Atsuna said immediately. "How would you feel if I gave my life for yours?"

Tasuki's brows furrowed into his eyes. "Like I'd ever let ya do somethin' like that."

Atsuna's slender brow curved and she tilted her head, staring at him expectantly. "And there is my point. You wouldn't be happy if I gave my life for yours. What makes you think I would be any different? I would rather live with you and die with you than live or die without you." She bit her bottom lip and pulled herself close to his face, caressing the soft flesh of his cheeks, tasting his sweet and spicy breath against her. "We will work together to have this life we want. We will be the other's strength in times of darkness. We will not live alone. We have each other. Let's not take it for granted."

Tasuki rubbed his nose against hers and closed his eyes. "You're too damn smart fer me."

Her gentle chuckle resonated in his ears. "Whether you want to believe it or not, I think the same way about you. You have kept me straight since the moment you met me."

"Okay," Tasuki said after a long pause. He pulled away and grinned. "How 'bout we make a deal?"

"A deal?"

"Yeah. Ya change yer tune an' realize yer strong without your powers. If ya do that, I'll give ya the life ya want," Tasuki replied. "So, what do ya think? Do we have a deal?"

"Tasuki…"

"Do we?" Tasuki's expression dared her to not be so doubtful of herself, and she finally gave up and sighed. "Glad to hear we're at an agreement."

Atsuna folded her arms under her breasts and shook her head. "This hardly seems like an equal deal."

"How is it not equal? We both get what we want in the end," Tasuki pointed out. "I want a family with ya, an' I want ya to realize how strong ya are. Yer not cheatin' me out of anythin'. Is that what yer worried about?"

Atsuna's cheeks reddened, and she nodded. "Well, yes. It seems like a lot for you to sacrifice."

"Sacrifice my ass," Tasuki scoffed. "I'm not sacrificin' a damn thing. Stop bein' so stubborn. Why the hell do ya hafta question me?"

Atsuna's eyes widened. "I'm not questioning you! I'm just concerned for you!" She shoved her palm against his shoulder. "Why do you insist on making me angry?"

Tasuki chuckled. "'Cause it's fun to see how much I've rubbed off on ya. An' yer sexy when yer riled up, sittin' here naked like this."

Atsuna caught the purr in his voice and pulled back slightly to give him a crooked glare. "Are you trying to take away my ability to walk? If we make love any more, I'd be better off without legs since I wouldn't be able to use them anyway."

Tasuki licked his lips as if to test her will, and he wriggled his bottom against the apex of her legs. "Ya wouldn't need to use 'em much anyway when we spend most of our time offa 'em. I wouldn't mind stayin' right here in bed with ya fer the rest of my life."

"That surprises me none," she mumbled under her breath. She let out a shrill gasp when Tasuki's body draped over hers, showcasing his trademark speed. Her hands were pinned above her head with one of his hands, the other graciously stroking her chin and cupping it gently, holding her gaze intently.

"I heard that, woman," he growled with a toothy smirk.

"Can you think of nothing else but… this?" she asked in a stammer as she felt his hardened erection press against her inner thigh.

He shook his head nonchalantly. "Nope. Unless ya turn into an ugly ol' hag right now, I'm not gonna be able to resist ya."

Atsuna couldn't help but smile. "I don't see that happening without the help of age or the gods."

"Then ya better start prayin' now if ya want me to stop."

"Who ever said I wanted you to stop?"

"So, is there anythin' we can do to find somethin' out about Kuro?" Tasuki asked as he pulled his white shirt over his shoulders. He figured clothing himself was wise after making love to his bride-to-be for the past two hours.

"At this point, I'm honestly not quite sure," Atsuna answered after brushing her hair back into a messy bun on the top of her head. She turned from the mirror to look at him. "I don't know what we could discover with him out there already on the move with my powers in his grasp. He's not stupid. He's going to do everything he can to keep me from beating him. I'm not going to let him win. I'm going to retrieve my powers and defeat him."

"An' how do ya plan on doin' that when he made ya faint the last time?" Tasuki inquired knowingly, folding his arms over his chest in a cynical jerk.

"It didn't happen when he showed up the first time, after you returned from your mission with Chichiri," Atsuna pointed out. "I'll just have to fight it if he threatens to knock me out that way. I'm sure it will all work out just fine. I just have to have faith, is all."

Tasuki's lips twitched into a satisfied smile, and he lowered his arms back to his sides. "That's the first time I've heard ya really talk positive about this. I'm glad to hear it."

Atsuna returned the expression and closed the distance between them, rubbing her hands along his arms. "To be honest, I am, too. And I'm not just saying it. I feel better after coming up here."

"An' we still have two days left. Just what are we gonna do in that much time?" he asked suggestively, his eyes twinkling with familiar fervor.

Atsuna backed away, shaking her finger at him with a muffled laugh. "Tasuki, don't you dare! There are other things we can do besides that, like enjoy the scenery."

"I am enjoyin' the scenery," he whispered huskily, dragging his tongue over his lips. "I just wish the scenery would take her clothes back off."

"I thought putting our clothes back on after several hours was supposed to make you sane again," Atsuna reminded him. "It was your idea, after all."

Tasuki shrugged. "Stupid idea." He began stalking towards her.

"You're unappeasable, Tasuki!" Atsuna shouted with a laugh as she backed into the wall.

He was there in seconds, stealing her breath with his mere presence. He kept his hands to himself, much to Atsuna's surprise, but his breathing was labored and hot against her ear as he bent down. "There's somethin' I wanna know."

"Okay. And what is that?"

"If yer ticklish."

Atsuna's expression foiled in confusion. "What?" She pressed her palms against the wall as if she hoped she could push it away and give herself an escape route. Tasuki's eyes were tearing through her. She didn't think she could take it much longer.

"Ya heard me. Can I see if yer ticklish? I promise you'll be able to walk when I'm done," he asked, the glint in his eyes and the amused smirk not faltering from his face.

Atsuna couldn't help but laugh again. "If I was ticklish, what makes you think I would want you to know about it?"

"Well, we're gonna be married soon, and we should know everythin' about each other. That's one thing I don't know about ya," Tasuki replied as he grazed his lips against her ear, dragging them along her jaw.

Atsuna stared at him, unconvinced. "Are you sure it's not an excuse to touch me?"

His chuckle rumbled in his throat. "Does it matter?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "If you touch me, you're not going to want to stop."

"So?"

His cool reply irritated her. "If you touch me, I'm not going to want you to stop, and then I'll have to hurt you for paralyzing me because the last several hours were spent doing…that."

"I think I'll worry about yer punishment until after I find out the answer to my question," he said, pressing his lips twice more against her jaw.

"You are inconceivable," Atsuna scolded, unconsciously craning her neck to the side as Tasuki's mouth nestled itself there with gentle kisses. "I thought two hours was plenty to sate you, and yet, here we are."

"That's 'cause yer body is imprinted in my mind, an' it haunts me," he purred. "I just can't get enough of it. Don't ya feel that way about me?"

Atsuna couldn't hold back her groan. "Are you trying to tempt me?"

He finally pulled away and winked at her, his smirk widening across his face. "Naturally, babe. How am I doin'?"

Atsuna folded her arms over her chest and shook her head. "Not so well. I'm not buying it. You have three seconds to back up before I beat you with your tessen. I need to bathe, and I'm starving." Tasuki opened his mouth to say something, but she shoved her finger in his face. "For food!"

"Damn," he swore. "Well, I guess ya hafta eat sometime. I was doin' just fine myself eatin' you."

Atsuna's mouth hung agape at his casual words, her face heating over in a pink blush. "I can't believe you just said that."

"What?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders at her outburst. "It's the truth!"

"Well, be a little more mindful about the truth before you say it!" she shouted, poking her finger into his shoulder incriminatingly. "I sure hope you don't speak like that around Koji and the other bandits about us and what goes on between us behind closed doors!"

Tasuki grinned wily. "Sweetheart, I'm pretty sure they know what goes on. We're not exactly the quietest. It wouldn't matter whether I said anythin' about us or not. They'd know it anyway. Why try to hide it?"

Atsuna stumbled on her tongue, not sure what to say. She spun around and faced the inviting wall, pressing her hands against her flushed face. She couldn't believe the casualness of his words. Was he deliberately trying to break her control?

Firm hands rested on her shoulders, drawing her out of her thoughts. "I'll go an' make us somethin' to eat. Go lay down while ya wait for me." He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, and she listened to him walk out of the room, all the while chuckling amusedly to himself.

She spun around and glared at the door. She broke into a smile and folded her arms under her breasts, shaking her head with a gentle giggle.

He had wanted to cheer her up, and just when she thought it was an impossible feat, he amazed her and succeeded. She stood against the wall and just laughed to herself, replaying everything back in her mind.

Marriage to Tasuki was going to be an interesting journey she couldn't wait to take.