"Thank God I'm halfway blasted."
* * * * * * * * * *
Tuxedo Jack
- and_
Craptacularly Spignificant Productions
- present, with apologies to Takeuchi and Akamatsu -
Over-Violent Student Double Hail Hina:
A Crossover That Should Never Be!
Chapter 6.40.4.80
"I swear, this is the last one!
... Isn't it?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Disclaimer: If the person who owns Love Hina or the person
who owns Sailor Moon falls down in a forest, it doesn't hurt
me, because I'm not them.
Special Warning!
Two words - "Cherry Blossoms." Probably only Kana and Kanako
will understand that.
And Kanako-san, Kana sent it to me. Her and her _and_ grenades?
I'm flattered, but one of them's married, isn't she? And that
last bit... erm... well, isn't that _illegal_ in half the world?
My head would explode, but you already made me do that... three
times. ^_^¿
* * * * * * * * * *
It wasn't really all that hard.
The Shironin I'd hired all failed, yes, and they were failures
in themselves. Shiraite and Haitanite were useless students,
Saraite was a hateful little bitch, and Liddite... well, that
squirrel... or whatever the hell he was... was a mistake.
Even the Formless Black Mass had deserted me. I was furious with
her, and in the note she left, Motoko said that I'd screwed up
too many times to redeem myself in her view.
My screwups? _Mine?_
It wasn't I who failed, it was the Shironin, and Motoko was acting
like a gaijin in not acknowledging that the whole damn process was
screwed up.
At any rate, I knew that the Senshi had found the Hina Blade, and
I knew that they wanted Keitaro back.
That's right, Keitaro. I'm not some half-crazed psychobitch like
Dakki from "Soul Hunters" or Beryl from "Sailor Moon." I'm Kanako,
and I have a calm side that surprises even me.
Besides, saying a name conveys a sense of intimacy, and that's exactly
what I want with Keitaro. After all, he's the only one who really
loves me.
The six Keitaro-clones were rather taxing to create, and they took
quite a bit of energy out of me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to pull
many illusions for a while, and I knew that the Senshi would eventually
defeat the clones...
That, or crack and stay with them, thinking that they were the real thing.
I figured the Shinobu girl would be the first to go nuts.
* * * * *
At any rate, I created the six clones, and I knew that one self-destructed
from the look on oniisama's face when I went in to see him. Admittedly, the
outfit I was wearing - a black lace teddy with a translucent chiffon robe -
may have caused the look, but seeing as how he kind of tended to get himself
into... unusual... situations, he probably felt the link with the clones instead
of the sight of me.
I know Motoko would have loved it, but she was gone.
"What's wrong, Keitaro-kun?"
"Everything," he whispered.
"Oh, come on, it can't possibly be _that bad_," I said to him, drawing it out
and rolling the last bit of it off my tongue.
His eyes flashed. "That's just it! You're only using me for sex, Kanako-chan!
You don't even care that I made a promise fifteen years ago to go to Todai!"
I snorted. "Of course I care. You don't get it, Kei-kun. Those five just
abuse you. They beat you, they deceive you, they con you out of money,
and even that little Shinobu girl emotionally manipulates you. What do
you think she's doing whenever she cries?"
"At least they try to be nice to me!"
"Fine, then." I snapped my fingers, and used some of the little power I had
left to magically change my clothes into something more confortable - just a
simple t-shirt and jeans, nothing special, but just enough to calm Keitaro
down. I didn't want him freaking out on me.
Yet.
Just then, I noticed his expression twitch and facefault. Apparently, one of the
clones had been defeated. I hoped it wasn't the one that Narusegawa bitch had.
* * * * *
Kitsune giggled and slapped the Kei-clone's back. "Ya know, Keitaro,
yer great. I absholutely love ya. I wantsh to have yer babiesh and
end up growin' old wish you..." She hiccuped.
The now-dead-of-alcohol-poisoning Kei-clone didn't respond. Instead, he
merely turned into dust and floated away, then reformed into a mask shard.
Kitsune shrugged and continued drinking.
* * * * *
About ten minutes passed, and nothing came into the small perimeter I'd set up outside
the Shed. It was good - if it had been the Narusegawa girl, I'd have had serious trouble
repelling her in my condition. As is, the mere presence of Keitaro's connection to
the Yakusoku was recharging me, and I'd be at full power in a bit.
His face twisted again, and I knew that a second clone had just gone down.
From the way his expression brightened, I was certain that it was Narusegawa's
clone.
My heart sank. I didn't have much time.
"Keitaro, come on," I pleaded. "Don't you know how much I love you?"
"Kanako, you may love me, but I'm your _brother_!"
"Adopted!"
"This isn't 'Tenchi Muyo,' oneechan."
"So?"
* * * * *
Mutsumi dropped her Keitaro-clone with a single Yakusoku Cannon, then
promptly passed out.
She remained like that for a few hours, and then Haruka found her. The
cigarette-smoking woman sighed and carried Mutsumi back to her teahouse.
"Kanako owes me quite a bit of money for this," she muttered to herself.
"She'd better pay, or it's a Dragon Slave for her." (13)
* * * * *
Haruka's message came through to my mind clearly, and I inwardly smiled.
Two of the four Senshi were done with. The other two... well, they'd be a
touch tougher, since they shared a special bond - that of a first kiss.
They'd stick together, and that'd be tough to break.
The cockroach... well, I'd deal with her when she got here. I had plans for
_her_.
Keitaro and I lay side by side on his bed, not moving, not doing much
of anything but talking. We'd reminisced, and I'd slowly seeded the idea
into his mind that Naru was merely using him as an emotional dumping
ground so she could get into Todai.
"But you're stronger than her, oniisama," I said quietly into his ear.
"You've taken everything she's dished out and then some. I mean, look
at you - you've taken _beatings_ from her."
"And I always emerge unscathed," he muttered.
"Only because you're full of love! Love for everyone... but do I get
any of that?" I ran my hand down his chest.
He grabbed it halfway down. "Of course, neechan."
Damn.
He was still thinking of me as his oneechan... I'd have to fix that, and
fast.
"Keitaro, just call me Kanako. We've known each other for that long, anyway,
and it's just easier."
He smiled. "Okay, Kanako."
Good, good. It was working.
* * * * *
"Mecha-Tama CRUSH!"
The giant turtle obliterated the Keitaro-clone and Sailor Mecha
approached the Shed, mask shard in hand. She held it up to the
front door, and it opened for her.
"Wai! Now Su-chan's going to play with Keitaro-san all day and
all night forever and ever!"
* * * * *
I got up from our bed - yes, I was thinking of it as that that quickly.
"Excuse me, Kei-kun. Nature."
He nodded and closed his eyes. I slipped out to the front door
of the Shed, and saw the little girl - Mecha, or Su, I think.
Anyway, she pointed a little turtle at me, and I grinned.
"You won't be able to hurt me with that. Here, play with this!"
I flung a small knotted piece of string at her. The second she
caught it, it expanded over her, tied her up, and kept knotting
itself and growing with every knot.
"It's called a Gordian Knot," I said evilly. "It took the great
Alexander a sword to untie. For your sake, I _do_ hope that
you get it undone quickly."
She started screaming, but soon enough the screams were muffled
due to the huge ball of string.
I kicked the ball aside, walked back inside, and shut the door.
"Now where were we, Kei-kun?
"Kanako, I think it would be nice. After all, you're you, and I mean,
you as a tenant at Hinata-sou would be good."
Hmm... he wants me to live there. Interesting. How could I manipulate
this to my advantage?
"Kei-kun, you know there's no extra room there. I couldn't possibly
room with any of the girls there - they all hate me!"
"You can stay in my room, if that'll make you comfortable."
I smiled. "Really, Keitaro? Thank you so much!" I reached over to his face,
and was relieved when he didn't tense up. Good. He was beginning to trust me.
"Your glasses might get broken. Here, let me place them on the bedside table."
I pulled them off, brushing a few strands of his hair out of the way, and he
shivered.
I smirked inwardly.
He apparently liked it.
* * * * *
Shinobu's clone took one look at her and dropped dead of sudden and massive
glucose poisoning.
"Ack, urk, glurgh," it muttered before dying and dissolving into dust and a
mask shard.
Shinobu blinked. "Ano, Urashima-senpai, where'd you go?"
* * * * *
Another clone was destroyed, I could tell that much from Keitaro's wince.
I waited a few minutes, and since the door to the shed wasn't broken down,
I figured it must be that other little girl, the one who was so confused
and broken that she was like a little lost puppy...
And that gave me an idea.
No, I wouldn't kill this one like I did the other. I had some... ideas... in
mind. I licked my lips, and slipped off from Keitaro while he lay there,
lightly snoozing. When I got to the front of the Shed, I noticed little
Shinobu Maehara there, not even transformed, not even prepared for what
I was going to do to her.
I flat-out kissed her.
She gave off a little "meep" and shook like a leaf, but didn't pass out.
When I slipped my tongue into her mouth, she moaned, but didn't resist
even one bit.
However, when I dispelled her clothes, Shinobu lost her balance and
fell to the ground.
I chuckled. I could see the longing in her eyes, the sense of lust...
but I decided satifying her... and admittedly, myself... would have to wait
for a while.
"Go down to the third door on the left," I whispered hotly in her ear,
and nipped at it to make sure that she got the picture.
She did, and she stumbled all the way. Just before she entered the room,
I said, "Oh, Shinobu?" When she turned around, I flung a mask shard into
her chest. It didn't hurt her - it was merely ki-powered - but instead,
it implanted my will and desires into the girl.
It was nice to know that I provoked the kind of response she gave me in
both men and women... and come to think of it, I still do.
I slipped back to Keitaro's room just in time to see that the last clone
had been destroyed and that the Narusegawa bitch was on her way. I let Keitaro
alone and ran to the front door, just in time to see a fist slam through it.
When Naru entered, I simply spoke a few words.
"You didn't have to ruin the door. You could have used the knob."
She merely sighed. "Where's Keitaro?" she growled at me.
"Keitaro? I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," I
said innocently. "Oniisama hasn't been here in a while." I was telling the
truth - he certainly hadn't been out to the front door of the shed in a
_long_ time.
The cockroach hissed and slapped me.
She.
Slapped.
Me.
It hurt... a lot. I would have drawn back my fist and punched her out,
or blasted her with a ki ball, but Keitaro took the opportunity to walk
into the room with Shinobu (now clothed, fortunately) in tow.
"Ano, Kanako-chan, what's she doing here?"
Naru took Keitaro's comment to mean her, and needless to say, she was
_pissed_.
"I come all this way to rescue you, through hell, high water, and stuffed
plushies, and you don't even call me by my _name_?"
Keitaro blinked. "Rescue me? Why would I need to be rescued? It's not bad at
all here, and it's not like I'm in any kind of trouble."
Naru gasped. "But... Keitaro, you... you're Sailor Senpai, and he's...
he's in love with Tuxedo Ronin... right?"
Keitaro shrugged. "Meh, she's nice, but a touch too violent for my taste.
I'd much rather be with Kanako-chan than her."
I grinned inwardly. Now was the time to make the final move. "See, Ronin?"
I whispered to Naru as I slipped my arm around Keitaro's waist, and he did
the same to me. "He doesn't want you." With that, I turned his head down to
mine and kissed him solidly.
He responded, and at that moment, I knew I'd won.
Naru let out a howl, and punched me in my face, knocking me away from my dear
Keitaro and onto the floor. She leapt for me, screaming out "RONIN..." along the
way, and right after she yelled "PUNCH!" and slammed her arm forwards, Keitaro
blocked for me.
Unfortunately, even those who are invincible have a breaking point, and this was
it. Keitaro collapsed, since the entire right side of his chest was collapsing,
and Naru just stared in shock.
This made it easy for me to flick a ki-powered mask shard into her, which brought
her under my control.
"I can heal him," I whispered to her.
"Do it! DO IT!"
"It'll cost you, you ungrateful, violent bitch," I hissed in her ear.
She nodded, the tears flowing freely now. "Oh, gods, Keitaro, what have I done..."
I focused the last - the very last - of my power over him, and he got up, groaning
in pain. "Kanako-chan? What happened?"
"That cockroach killed you, Keitaro," I said, staring straight into Naru's eyes.
"She gave her powers - and her life - to me to bring you back."
Naru winced at this, but I pulled out a ball of ki behind my back so Keitaro
couldn't see it, and she nodded.
"You mean she's going to die?" He shook his head. "No one should die to bring another
back."
"Oh, she's not going to die," I said, smiling. "She's going to stay with me... and
she'll be Princess Leia to my Jabba the Hutt, metal bikini and all."
At this, Keitaro spouted a nosebleed, Shinobu and Naru blushed furiously, and I just
grinned. "And Shinobu... you'll dress like a Roshtarian harem girl, if you don't
mind," I whispered to her. "After all, the... fringe benefits... of staying with
me are nice."
"And what about me, Kanako-chan?" Keitaro said. "Do I get to stay with you?"
"Of course, oniisama," I said, smiling ferally. "You're mine, and I'm _never_
letting you go."
* * * * *
And so it all ended. I ended up not only with Keitaro as my beloved, but
Shinobu and Naru as... servant girls. Yes, that's it, servant girls, with
one in a metal bikini and one in a harem girl's outfit...
It's good to be the evil queen of a huge (well, not that big, it's just
Hinata-sou and the grounds) empire.
And I still don't.... play... with Naru alone. I don't trust her enough for
that. Sometimes it's me and Keitaro with her, sometimes it's me and Shinobu,
but I'll never be alone. After all, she could stab me in the back, and that's
reason enough for me never to let her be on the bottom.
* * * * *
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Jesus, it's finally done. The whole friggin' saga's over.
This is the last official ending for Over-Violent Student Double
Hail Hina: A Crossover that Should Never Be. I'll have a few
omakes for it, and there's the contest, but sailorhina-kanakoending.txt
officially closes the canon chapters.
Also, I hate to tell you all this, but I'd not seen _any_ Love Hina
episodes until I'd finished the Naru ending, which is when I got some
fnasubs from a friend. I didn't start watching them until I finished
the Mutsumi ending, and even then, I didn't get but to episode 17
before I finished this.
And yes, I saw episode 13, and yes, I laughed my ass off, especially
at "Cherry-kun." However, it _was_ WAFFy to the extreme at the end.
Thanks to the following:
*TrueC, for giving me the idea that the FBM should be Motoko
*Seth Triggs, for being a sounding board
*Rai Nascent, for prereading and slapping me when I went too far in the
rough drafts
*Kana, for his... intriguing... comments
*Kanako, for her gift after the Mutsumi ending, which, admittedly while...
interesting, made me nosebleed a touch (and that item isn't _ever_
leaving my computer, so don't ask to see it, people. You'll have to
ask her)
*Kebinu, for convincing me to turn this from a oneshot into a series
*Magician XV, for starting "Tales of the Rotten," which was a major
cure for writer's block
And last - though certainly by far the greatest, Naoko Takeuchi and
Ken Akamatsu for giving me these two worlds to play in. Without them,
we'd never have gotten them, so I suggest we thank them!
The next project I've got going is called "The Maltese Liddo-Kun."
It's a nice little mystery fic about... well, you'll see. It's not a
one-shot, though, so it'll be a while before I get it done.
Kepe up with my profile! It's got a link to my website, and I'm updating
that a lot more often than FFN stuff now, and it gets my writings about
a week faster than FFN these days. It's also the only place where I can
post my MSTings.
The URL's in my profile, and it's also..
users3.ev1.net
In the subdirectory...
~jchiles
Just in case I can bypass the FFN block on URLs in stories.
Click on the logo for the Senshi no Eisei, and you'll see my site. Also
hosted there are the sites for Tuxedo Alex and TrueC, both good authors
and a damn fine MSTer. Check them out!
And so, I leave you for now, but to paraphrase Ben Franklin...
"This book will be reprinted by the Creator in a new edition, with better
binding, and in a far better revision."
Ja ne!
Tuxedo Jack
J.R. Chiles II
June 2nd, 2003
* * * * * * * * * *
Omake
The lights went out in the studios, with only the hissing of
the bug-zappers echoing in the night.
It was like that for quite a while until the Gordian Knot
suddenly exploded, and Su burst out.
"Ha! I knew that Su-chan could beat any challenge!" She looked
around. "Ano, where is everyone?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Tuxedo Jack
- and_
Craptacularly Spignificant Productions
- present, with apologies to Takeuchi and Akamatsu -
Over-Violent Student Double Hail Hina:
A Crossover That Should Never Be!
Chapter 6.40.4.80
"I swear, this is the last one!
... Isn't it?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Disclaimer: If the person who owns Love Hina or the person
who owns Sailor Moon falls down in a forest, it doesn't hurt
me, because I'm not them.
Special Warning!
Two words - "Cherry Blossoms." Probably only Kana and Kanako
will understand that.
And Kanako-san, Kana sent it to me. Her and her _and_ grenades?
I'm flattered, but one of them's married, isn't she? And that
last bit... erm... well, isn't that _illegal_ in half the world?
My head would explode, but you already made me do that... three
times. ^_^¿
* * * * * * * * * *
It wasn't really all that hard.
The Shironin I'd hired all failed, yes, and they were failures
in themselves. Shiraite and Haitanite were useless students,
Saraite was a hateful little bitch, and Liddite... well, that
squirrel... or whatever the hell he was... was a mistake.
Even the Formless Black Mass had deserted me. I was furious with
her, and in the note she left, Motoko said that I'd screwed up
too many times to redeem myself in her view.
My screwups? _Mine?_
It wasn't I who failed, it was the Shironin, and Motoko was acting
like a gaijin in not acknowledging that the whole damn process was
screwed up.
At any rate, I knew that the Senshi had found the Hina Blade, and
I knew that they wanted Keitaro back.
That's right, Keitaro. I'm not some half-crazed psychobitch like
Dakki from "Soul Hunters" or Beryl from "Sailor Moon." I'm Kanako,
and I have a calm side that surprises even me.
Besides, saying a name conveys a sense of intimacy, and that's exactly
what I want with Keitaro. After all, he's the only one who really
loves me.
The six Keitaro-clones were rather taxing to create, and they took
quite a bit of energy out of me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to pull
many illusions for a while, and I knew that the Senshi would eventually
defeat the clones...
That, or crack and stay with them, thinking that they were the real thing.
I figured the Shinobu girl would be the first to go nuts.
* * * * *
At any rate, I created the six clones, and I knew that one self-destructed
from the look on oniisama's face when I went in to see him. Admittedly, the
outfit I was wearing - a black lace teddy with a translucent chiffon robe -
may have caused the look, but seeing as how he kind of tended to get himself
into... unusual... situations, he probably felt the link with the clones instead
of the sight of me.
I know Motoko would have loved it, but she was gone.
"What's wrong, Keitaro-kun?"
"Everything," he whispered.
"Oh, come on, it can't possibly be _that bad_," I said to him, drawing it out
and rolling the last bit of it off my tongue.
His eyes flashed. "That's just it! You're only using me for sex, Kanako-chan!
You don't even care that I made a promise fifteen years ago to go to Todai!"
I snorted. "Of course I care. You don't get it, Kei-kun. Those five just
abuse you. They beat you, they deceive you, they con you out of money,
and even that little Shinobu girl emotionally manipulates you. What do
you think she's doing whenever she cries?"
"At least they try to be nice to me!"
"Fine, then." I snapped my fingers, and used some of the little power I had
left to magically change my clothes into something more confortable - just a
simple t-shirt and jeans, nothing special, but just enough to calm Keitaro
down. I didn't want him freaking out on me.
Yet.
Just then, I noticed his expression twitch and facefault. Apparently, one of the
clones had been defeated. I hoped it wasn't the one that Narusegawa bitch had.
* * * * *
Kitsune giggled and slapped the Kei-clone's back. "Ya know, Keitaro,
yer great. I absholutely love ya. I wantsh to have yer babiesh and
end up growin' old wish you..." She hiccuped.
The now-dead-of-alcohol-poisoning Kei-clone didn't respond. Instead, he
merely turned into dust and floated away, then reformed into a mask shard.
Kitsune shrugged and continued drinking.
* * * * *
About ten minutes passed, and nothing came into the small perimeter I'd set up outside
the Shed. It was good - if it had been the Narusegawa girl, I'd have had serious trouble
repelling her in my condition. As is, the mere presence of Keitaro's connection to
the Yakusoku was recharging me, and I'd be at full power in a bit.
His face twisted again, and I knew that a second clone had just gone down.
From the way his expression brightened, I was certain that it was Narusegawa's
clone.
My heart sank. I didn't have much time.
"Keitaro, come on," I pleaded. "Don't you know how much I love you?"
"Kanako, you may love me, but I'm your _brother_!"
"Adopted!"
"This isn't 'Tenchi Muyo,' oneechan."
"So?"
* * * * *
Mutsumi dropped her Keitaro-clone with a single Yakusoku Cannon, then
promptly passed out.
She remained like that for a few hours, and then Haruka found her. The
cigarette-smoking woman sighed and carried Mutsumi back to her teahouse.
"Kanako owes me quite a bit of money for this," she muttered to herself.
"She'd better pay, or it's a Dragon Slave for her." (13)
* * * * *
Haruka's message came through to my mind clearly, and I inwardly smiled.
Two of the four Senshi were done with. The other two... well, they'd be a
touch tougher, since they shared a special bond - that of a first kiss.
They'd stick together, and that'd be tough to break.
The cockroach... well, I'd deal with her when she got here. I had plans for
_her_.
Keitaro and I lay side by side on his bed, not moving, not doing much
of anything but talking. We'd reminisced, and I'd slowly seeded the idea
into his mind that Naru was merely using him as an emotional dumping
ground so she could get into Todai.
"But you're stronger than her, oniisama," I said quietly into his ear.
"You've taken everything she's dished out and then some. I mean, look
at you - you've taken _beatings_ from her."
"And I always emerge unscathed," he muttered.
"Only because you're full of love! Love for everyone... but do I get
any of that?" I ran my hand down his chest.
He grabbed it halfway down. "Of course, neechan."
Damn.
He was still thinking of me as his oneechan... I'd have to fix that, and
fast.
"Keitaro, just call me Kanako. We've known each other for that long, anyway,
and it's just easier."
He smiled. "Okay, Kanako."
Good, good. It was working.
* * * * *
"Mecha-Tama CRUSH!"
The giant turtle obliterated the Keitaro-clone and Sailor Mecha
approached the Shed, mask shard in hand. She held it up to the
front door, and it opened for her.
"Wai! Now Su-chan's going to play with Keitaro-san all day and
all night forever and ever!"
* * * * *
I got up from our bed - yes, I was thinking of it as that that quickly.
"Excuse me, Kei-kun. Nature."
He nodded and closed his eyes. I slipped out to the front door
of the Shed, and saw the little girl - Mecha, or Su, I think.
Anyway, she pointed a little turtle at me, and I grinned.
"You won't be able to hurt me with that. Here, play with this!"
I flung a small knotted piece of string at her. The second she
caught it, it expanded over her, tied her up, and kept knotting
itself and growing with every knot.
"It's called a Gordian Knot," I said evilly. "It took the great
Alexander a sword to untie. For your sake, I _do_ hope that
you get it undone quickly."
She started screaming, but soon enough the screams were muffled
due to the huge ball of string.
I kicked the ball aside, walked back inside, and shut the door.
"Now where were we, Kei-kun?
"Kanako, I think it would be nice. After all, you're you, and I mean,
you as a tenant at Hinata-sou would be good."
Hmm... he wants me to live there. Interesting. How could I manipulate
this to my advantage?
"Kei-kun, you know there's no extra room there. I couldn't possibly
room with any of the girls there - they all hate me!"
"You can stay in my room, if that'll make you comfortable."
I smiled. "Really, Keitaro? Thank you so much!" I reached over to his face,
and was relieved when he didn't tense up. Good. He was beginning to trust me.
"Your glasses might get broken. Here, let me place them on the bedside table."
I pulled them off, brushing a few strands of his hair out of the way, and he
shivered.
I smirked inwardly.
He apparently liked it.
* * * * *
Shinobu's clone took one look at her and dropped dead of sudden and massive
glucose poisoning.
"Ack, urk, glurgh," it muttered before dying and dissolving into dust and a
mask shard.
Shinobu blinked. "Ano, Urashima-senpai, where'd you go?"
* * * * *
Another clone was destroyed, I could tell that much from Keitaro's wince.
I waited a few minutes, and since the door to the shed wasn't broken down,
I figured it must be that other little girl, the one who was so confused
and broken that she was like a little lost puppy...
And that gave me an idea.
No, I wouldn't kill this one like I did the other. I had some... ideas... in
mind. I licked my lips, and slipped off from Keitaro while he lay there,
lightly snoozing. When I got to the front of the Shed, I noticed little
Shinobu Maehara there, not even transformed, not even prepared for what
I was going to do to her.
I flat-out kissed her.
She gave off a little "meep" and shook like a leaf, but didn't pass out.
When I slipped my tongue into her mouth, she moaned, but didn't resist
even one bit.
However, when I dispelled her clothes, Shinobu lost her balance and
fell to the ground.
I chuckled. I could see the longing in her eyes, the sense of lust...
but I decided satifying her... and admittedly, myself... would have to wait
for a while.
"Go down to the third door on the left," I whispered hotly in her ear,
and nipped at it to make sure that she got the picture.
She did, and she stumbled all the way. Just before she entered the room,
I said, "Oh, Shinobu?" When she turned around, I flung a mask shard into
her chest. It didn't hurt her - it was merely ki-powered - but instead,
it implanted my will and desires into the girl.
It was nice to know that I provoked the kind of response she gave me in
both men and women... and come to think of it, I still do.
I slipped back to Keitaro's room just in time to see that the last clone
had been destroyed and that the Narusegawa bitch was on her way. I let Keitaro
alone and ran to the front door, just in time to see a fist slam through it.
When Naru entered, I simply spoke a few words.
"You didn't have to ruin the door. You could have used the knob."
She merely sighed. "Where's Keitaro?" she growled at me.
"Keitaro? I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," I
said innocently. "Oniisama hasn't been here in a while." I was telling the
truth - he certainly hadn't been out to the front door of the shed in a
_long_ time.
The cockroach hissed and slapped me.
She.
Slapped.
Me.
It hurt... a lot. I would have drawn back my fist and punched her out,
or blasted her with a ki ball, but Keitaro took the opportunity to walk
into the room with Shinobu (now clothed, fortunately) in tow.
"Ano, Kanako-chan, what's she doing here?"
Naru took Keitaro's comment to mean her, and needless to say, she was
_pissed_.
"I come all this way to rescue you, through hell, high water, and stuffed
plushies, and you don't even call me by my _name_?"
Keitaro blinked. "Rescue me? Why would I need to be rescued? It's not bad at
all here, and it's not like I'm in any kind of trouble."
Naru gasped. "But... Keitaro, you... you're Sailor Senpai, and he's...
he's in love with Tuxedo Ronin... right?"
Keitaro shrugged. "Meh, she's nice, but a touch too violent for my taste.
I'd much rather be with Kanako-chan than her."
I grinned inwardly. Now was the time to make the final move. "See, Ronin?"
I whispered to Naru as I slipped my arm around Keitaro's waist, and he did
the same to me. "He doesn't want you." With that, I turned his head down to
mine and kissed him solidly.
He responded, and at that moment, I knew I'd won.
Naru let out a howl, and punched me in my face, knocking me away from my dear
Keitaro and onto the floor. She leapt for me, screaming out "RONIN..." along the
way, and right after she yelled "PUNCH!" and slammed her arm forwards, Keitaro
blocked for me.
Unfortunately, even those who are invincible have a breaking point, and this was
it. Keitaro collapsed, since the entire right side of his chest was collapsing,
and Naru just stared in shock.
This made it easy for me to flick a ki-powered mask shard into her, which brought
her under my control.
"I can heal him," I whispered to her.
"Do it! DO IT!"
"It'll cost you, you ungrateful, violent bitch," I hissed in her ear.
She nodded, the tears flowing freely now. "Oh, gods, Keitaro, what have I done..."
I focused the last - the very last - of my power over him, and he got up, groaning
in pain. "Kanako-chan? What happened?"
"That cockroach killed you, Keitaro," I said, staring straight into Naru's eyes.
"She gave her powers - and her life - to me to bring you back."
Naru winced at this, but I pulled out a ball of ki behind my back so Keitaro
couldn't see it, and she nodded.
"You mean she's going to die?" He shook his head. "No one should die to bring another
back."
"Oh, she's not going to die," I said, smiling. "She's going to stay with me... and
she'll be Princess Leia to my Jabba the Hutt, metal bikini and all."
At this, Keitaro spouted a nosebleed, Shinobu and Naru blushed furiously, and I just
grinned. "And Shinobu... you'll dress like a Roshtarian harem girl, if you don't
mind," I whispered to her. "After all, the... fringe benefits... of staying with
me are nice."
"And what about me, Kanako-chan?" Keitaro said. "Do I get to stay with you?"
"Of course, oniisama," I said, smiling ferally. "You're mine, and I'm _never_
letting you go."
* * * * *
And so it all ended. I ended up not only with Keitaro as my beloved, but
Shinobu and Naru as... servant girls. Yes, that's it, servant girls, with
one in a metal bikini and one in a harem girl's outfit...
It's good to be the evil queen of a huge (well, not that big, it's just
Hinata-sou and the grounds) empire.
And I still don't.... play... with Naru alone. I don't trust her enough for
that. Sometimes it's me and Keitaro with her, sometimes it's me and Shinobu,
but I'll never be alone. After all, she could stab me in the back, and that's
reason enough for me never to let her be on the bottom.
* * * * *
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Jesus, it's finally done. The whole friggin' saga's over.
This is the last official ending for Over-Violent Student Double
Hail Hina: A Crossover that Should Never Be. I'll have a few
omakes for it, and there's the contest, but sailorhina-kanakoending.txt
officially closes the canon chapters.
Also, I hate to tell you all this, but I'd not seen _any_ Love Hina
episodes until I'd finished the Naru ending, which is when I got some
fnasubs from a friend. I didn't start watching them until I finished
the Mutsumi ending, and even then, I didn't get but to episode 17
before I finished this.
And yes, I saw episode 13, and yes, I laughed my ass off, especially
at "Cherry-kun." However, it _was_ WAFFy to the extreme at the end.
Thanks to the following:
*TrueC, for giving me the idea that the FBM should be Motoko
*Seth Triggs, for being a sounding board
*Rai Nascent, for prereading and slapping me when I went too far in the
rough drafts
*Kana, for his... intriguing... comments
*Kanako, for her gift after the Mutsumi ending, which, admittedly while...
interesting, made me nosebleed a touch (and that item isn't _ever_
leaving my computer, so don't ask to see it, people. You'll have to
ask her)
*Kebinu, for convincing me to turn this from a oneshot into a series
*Magician XV, for starting "Tales of the Rotten," which was a major
cure for writer's block
And last - though certainly by far the greatest, Naoko Takeuchi and
Ken Akamatsu for giving me these two worlds to play in. Without them,
we'd never have gotten them, so I suggest we thank them!
The next project I've got going is called "The Maltese Liddo-Kun."
It's a nice little mystery fic about... well, you'll see. It's not a
one-shot, though, so it'll be a while before I get it done.
Kepe up with my profile! It's got a link to my website, and I'm updating
that a lot more often than FFN stuff now, and it gets my writings about
a week faster than FFN these days. It's also the only place where I can
post my MSTings.
The URL's in my profile, and it's also..
users3.ev1.net
In the subdirectory...
~jchiles
Just in case I can bypass the FFN block on URLs in stories.
Click on the logo for the Senshi no Eisei, and you'll see my site. Also
hosted there are the sites for Tuxedo Alex and TrueC, both good authors
and a damn fine MSTer. Check them out!
And so, I leave you for now, but to paraphrase Ben Franklin...
"This book will be reprinted by the Creator in a new edition, with better
binding, and in a far better revision."
Ja ne!
Tuxedo Jack
J.R. Chiles II
June 2nd, 2003
* * * * * * * * * *
Omake
The lights went out in the studios, with only the hissing of
the bug-zappers echoing in the night.
It was like that for quite a while until the Gordian Knot
suddenly exploded, and Su burst out.
"Ha! I knew that Su-chan could beat any challenge!" She looked
around. "Ano, where is everyone?"