Author's Note: I just got Season Three for SEVENTEEN DOLLARS! I was jumping up and down in the middle of Target's entertainment section. My sister actually said I loved Bones too much and that Zach wasn't that great, when compared to what's-his-face from The Vampire Diaries. That inspired my list: Signs Your Love For Zach Addy Is Getting Weird (Not That There's Anything Wrong With That).

1. If you somehow missed 'The Pain In The Heart' you refuse to watch it because of what happens to Zach.

2. If you missed 'The Pain In The Heart' and was told what happened by someone else, you burst into tears.

3. Whenever you first see Zach during any episode, you squeal.

4. When you saw 'The Pain In The Heart', you cried so hard that anyone within a fifty foot radius came running.

5. When you see the cow during 'The Mummy In The Maze' that has to be Naomi from Paleontology, you scream 'I see you bitch!'.

6. During Booth's monologue at the end of 'Death In The Saddle' and it shows Zach when he says that line about giving up hope on finding love, you go 'Aw'.

7. During 'The Boy In The Bush' you 'Aw' when Zach gets emotional.

8. When you saw the promo for the Season Four finale and saw Zach, you started jumping up and down and screaming 'ZACH'S BACK, ZACH'S BACK!'.

9. When you realized Zach wasn't back for good, you threw something or cried.

10. You're mad at Sweets for not telling people Zach is innocent.

Xxx

A week and a day after their non-date, Zach and Starbuck were sitting on what had become 'their' couch in the lounge area overlooking the lab. They had just finished eating lunch and were now firing random questions at each other. Everyone else had something else to do. Sweets, Booth and Brennan were interrogating a suspect, Hodgins was playing with slime and Angela was somewhere.

"Favorite ice cream flavor?" Starbuck asked. Her head was resting on Zach's lap, and both were eating jellybeans.

"Mint chocolate chip," Zach answered. "What is your favorite movie?"

"Chasing Amy," she said. "Yours?"

"I do not have a particular favorite film, but I do enjoy the original Star Wars trilogy immensely," Zach said.

Starbuck furrowed her eyebrows in deep thought. "Who was your role model growing up?"

"As a child, my role model was Spock and in my adolescence and early adulthood my role model became Dr. Brennan."

"Aw, how cute," Starbuck joked and reached up to pinch his cheek.

"Who did you model yourself after in childhood?"

"My grandmother."

There was a short pause, while Zach thought of his next question. While he thought, he began to play with her hair. "What is your favorite meal?"

"My Papi's cilantro rice and chicken," Starbuck licked her lips, her red tongue darting out briefly. "What about you?"

"My mother's turkey and potato dinner. She makes it every Sunday." His voice was wistful and Starbuck patted him on his thigh.

"Okay, I have one," she said. "Do you play any sports?"

"On occasion, I play basketball with Hodgins. As a child, my brothers made me play and I became quite good. Whenever I go home, we play a few games in the driveway."

"Well, aren't you full of surprises?" Starbuck giggled. "Another child forced into sports."

"What sport did you play?"

"When I was seven, my Mami signed me up for the kiddie soccer league. Much to everyone's surprise, I actually ended up liking it."

The question took a while coming. Then, Zach remembered a question he had seen on one of Hodgin's dating profiles. "What is something about yourself that people can not tell by looking at you?"

"I am a wannabe poet," Starbuck answered after some thought. "You?"

"I exercise quite frequently. My regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong."

"Really?" Starbuck asked. "Prove it." The dare glittered in her eyes.

"You first," Zach retorted, recalling the dare games of his childhood. Almost anything could be averted by saying that. Starbuck cleared her throat and stared right up at him.

"The bone-man visits my dreams once again./By day he is held captive/By the rank evil/That humanity brings upon its brothers./But by night/The bone-man is mine alone./In the silver light of the moon/Those hands, once instruments of the macabre/Now skim lightly over my quivering body./Rather than say ugly words,/Words that mean death, rape, rage,/Ugly things/the bone-man only hisses/Soft endearments/in the soft shell of my ear./The bone-man's body fits to mine/Warm flesh against warm flesh,/Fitting like the skeletal system/He values so greatly. /But when Eos arises/The bone-man retreats, /Back to his own world and body."

For a while, both of them were quiet. Then, Starbuck spoke once more. "Your turn."

Zach motioned for Starbuck to get off him. She complied and he stood up. For a second, she thought he was going to pick up a chair or maybe the table. So when he hooked one arm under her knees and the other under her armpits, she let out a little squeal. "Dude!" She put her own arms around his neck. "You could have warned me."

"I'm sorry," Zach said. He bent his head down and caught a whiff of her hair. She rested her head on his shoulder. It was awkward, but in a good way. "You are very light."

"Why thank you."

"Ahem," someone behind them coughed. Zach turned, still holding Starbuck. To his surprise, it was Cam. "If it isn't too much trouble Zach, can you please put Miss. Mendoza down? Daisy just finished putting the skeleton together and I thought you would like to take a look at it." She gave them a look to drive her point home. Zach almost dropped Starbuck in his hurry to get down to the lab.

Meanwhile, Booth and Brennan were making their way back from the interrogation room and saw the last part of this little play. Angela came up behind them, Cam-style, carrying an unmarked brown paper bag.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that they're doing it," Angela said.

"Doing what?" Brennan asked.

"Bones 'doing it' is slang for having sex," Booth explained. Brennan made a small noise of understanding and then caught sight of the bag Angela was holding.

"What's in the bag Angela?" she asked

"Nothing." Angela hid the bag behind her back. "So, how about those kids?"

"Clearly they're into each other. How oblivious can two people be?" Booth commented. Angela had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. The irony was not lost on her.

Later that day, Hodgins walked into her office. Angela was sketching the face of the latest body, the bag on her desk.

"I want in. Whatever little scheme you have cooking for Zach, I want in," he announced.

"What made you change your mind?" Angela asked.

"As it turns out, I have a good view of the lounge from my station. This whole thing is starting to stop being funny and has started becoming a bit sad," Hodgins explained. Then, his eyes fell on the bag. "Is that from where I think it is?"

"Yes," Angela was surprised he remembered. "You actually remember?"

"I remember almost every moment we spent together." There was no emotion in his voice. Rather, it sounded like he was reading off the results of a mass spec. "Can I see it?"

"Sure," Angela said. "Only because I know you'll appreciate it." She reached into the bag and withdrew her lunchtime purchase. It was a red and cream teddy, with lace and all. Instead of approval or even slight arousal, there was surprise on Hodgin's face. "What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just that I was going to buy that for you," he muttered. "For our honeymoon." There was a pause and then, a romance novel cliché moment. She looked up, he looked up and then there was a spark. Hodgins blushed and mumbled some excuse to leave and Angela went back to her sketch.

Xxx

The next day at lunchtime found Angela in the break room. She was surprised to see Starbuck there, sitting at her usual table and staring intently at her iPhone. A cup of KFC mashed potatoes and some chicken was being ignored in favor of said phone. Her thumb was flicking every few seconds to scroll down. Curious, Angela leaned over her shoulder. A familiar face and some text filled the screen.

"Why are you reading about her?" she asked.

"Zach mentioned her once. I just had to see who she was," Starbuck chewed her lip. "Call me a masochist. She was pretty."

"Be that as it may, it didn't make her a good person," Angela said. "Naomi was rotten, through and through."

"But why did Zach choose her if she was so rotten?" Starbuck cocked her head. "I mean, I had to study her."

"Starbuck, you're nothing like her," Angela said firmly. "And that's a good thing. Zach doesn't need some sociopath diva."

"What do mean by that?" Starbuck asked as she exited the application.

"I think you know sweetie." Angela stared right at her.

"He's my friend. Even though it hasn't been that long, he may be one of the best I ever have. I look out for my friends." Starbuck stared at her lap. "And even if I did have those feelings, how could I compete with the memory of a genius with the face of an angel and the body of a porn star?"

"She tried to kill him," Angela reminded her. "Because of what she did, he's scarred for life, physically and mentally. Believe me, he doesn't think of her porn star bod when she pops into his head."

"Hey," Sweets said. "What are you talking about?"

"Girl stuff," Angela winked at Starbuck, who winked back.