Chapter 9
:/ Hey hey! I'm not dead! I'm terribly sorry but once again, plot bunnies, and the IB program is a pain in the ass. Just handed in my EE today and I hope you enjoy this chapter!:/
Two armies faced each other down on this desolate, hot, sunny day. Church bells could be heard from Las Vegas and the people of some western town could be seen shutting their blinds. Dust flew up around the group and a random tumbleweed drifted past the two armies. A cactus miraculously sprouted from the ground in between both of the opposing sides. Two vultures circled above them and a hyena laughed along with the joyous Seirin army as they grinned in victory. The Kaijou army left Seirin there so they could crawl back hole in which they came and wallow in self pity and loathing.
Then Seirin left with the hyena simply because Kiriko offered it a bone.
A yellow haired teen otherwise known as fucking sunshine and rainbows aka Kise Ryouta ran his head under the facet in the bathroom. The sound of the door opening behind him made him look up.
"Your sign, Gemini, was supposed to have the worst luck today, but… I didn't think you'd actually lose." A voice came behind Kise and he stared in shock.
"... So you came to watch…" He whispered, "Midorimacchi…"
Kise and green haired teen known as Midorima stared each other down.
"MIDORIMACCHI!" The copy cat screeched/wailed/sobbed as he launched himself at the freaked out teen. He latched onto the green covered head and buried it in his crotch as he cried into the green hair. "KUROKOCCHI HAS GONE PSYCHO! HE WAS MEAN TO ME AND BEAT US! HE CHANGED! HE HAS ANOTHER PERSONALITY THAT HAS STOLEN MY KUROKOCCHI! HE HATES ME NOW BECAUSE WE CHANGED AND LEFT HIM IN THE DUST! IT WAS HORRIBLE! KIRIKOCCHI DOESN'T LIKE ME! HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE A DUAL PERSONALITY KUROKOCCHI! WAAAHHH!"
Meanwhile, as he clutched the head of his friend and cried into the green hair, Midorima was trying to pull Kise off his face. He wasn't gay, thank you very much, and he didn't need this to be any more embarrassing so he swayed side to side arms flailing and trying to pull the sobbing teen of his face. Kise was sadly so stuck to his face, it could be argued that one of his grandparents was a leach. Too bad a leach's weakness - spices and or salt - would not work on Kise.
Then the sharp shooter's horoscope turned for the worst when his cart driver came into the washroom. The driver promptly blew up and just about murdered Kise is the guy's basketball captain hadn't come in time to hold the green haired teen's companion at bay.
This was a bad day for Kise… and Midorima…
"YEAH! WE WON!" Koganei shouted at the top of his lungs as he and the rest of Seirin strolled down the sidewalk after their one sided game against Kaijou. They lost the hyena along the way. Supposedly, a dogcatcher, the firemen, the army, a zookeeper, the SWAT team, a random salesman, and the FBI came in and took it somewhere. Kiriko had decided he would name it Cerberus.
At this point in time, the team was deciding whether the should stop and eat but then realized that everyone was broke so they decide to go home. Well, that was until Riko started grinning like the devil incarnate.
"It's fine! Let's go get some meat with a zeal!" She exclaimed and everyone stared at her weirdly.
The whole team sat at a long table with a huge piece of steak each. They were scared and screwed. You see, they passed a sign that said: "PRIME PRIME STEAK! IF YOU CAN EAT IN 30 MINUTES, IT'S FREE OTHERWISE YOU'LL NEED TO PAY THE TOTAL 10,000 YEN!" Needless to say, everyone had the right to be scared.
They were all sobbing after they took the first 10 bites and cried harder when Kuroko said he was done when he only ate 3. Then they noticed Kagami wolfing down three of the steaks BUT they still had more to clean up.
"I have an idea." Kuroko stated calmly and everyone looked at him. "Why don't we let Kiriko eat the rest. I'm sure it would be really easy for him. Let me switch over." He then switched the sides of his eyepatch.
They sat in silence before all hell broke loose.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU USELESS SACKS OF TRASH?!" Kiriko roared at them and they crapped their pants, simultaneously. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?! I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING BASKETBALL KING! WHY WOULD I WASTE MY TIME EATING PRIME STE - is this prime steak?" He asked calmly and, honestly, it was even more terrifying.
They all nodded dumbly and he promptly swallowed every last steak whole and burped up the bones, if there were any. He wiped his face with a napkin like the gentleman he is and stood up with importance.
Swiping the eyepatch over onto his other eye, Kuroko strolled out the door with a hand on his full belly. He then ran into Kise who looked like a deer caught in headlights. It looked like he was ready to bolt in terror.
This really wasn't Kise's day AT ALL…