It seemed like another decade, another lifetime. Shepard was only 23 when she dropped with the ground team on Elysium. The Skyllian Blitz had begun in full-force, with attacks happening overhead from pirate ships and more thugs and attackers swarming the actual colonies. Her instincts screamed at her to run, to hide … it was too much like Mindoir, she would lose everything again.
As morbid as it sounded, she came to a realization on Elysium. She had already lost everything. No matter how long or how far she looked, Shepard would never find people who meant the world to her, who she trusted, she would never find a true home. Briefly, she wondered if most people would falter under that thought, and the loneliness it brought forth. For her, it brought up a new surge of determination. It was true, she would be lonely, but she would do everything in her power to make sure no one else had to experience that feeling.
Elysium would not become the next Mindoir, not while she breathed. The fight was vicious, but she and the rest of the Alliance soldiers managed to rally together the colonists, pushing back the pirates with everything they had. Death counts were amazingly low, according to Alliance reports, and the people of Elysium, and even the other soldiers, pointed out Shepard as the deciding factor. At one point, a breach in their defenses sent Shepard running toward a wave of invaders. Using her biotics and rifle, she managed to wipe out all of those that entered almost single-handedly so colonists and soldiers could reseal the barricade.
Admiral Hackett pointed out that she had nearly killed herself by rushing in without second thought, but it was a bull-headed gamble that paid off. Shepard was awarded the Star of Terra, an award that recognized soldiers going beyond the call of duty to perform courageous service. Since then, the woman advanced quickly through the military, and was highly regarded as a military hero. She was truly flattered to be considered such a great soldier.
Seven years later, she was asked to be the executive officer on the SSV Normandy, under the supervision of one Captain David Anderson. The whirlwind of becoming a Spectre, taking Anderson's place as Normandy's captain, pursuing Saren, and stopping the first true Reaper attack on their "cycle" seemed to pass in mere days. Meeting and working with so many new people, alien or not, brought out something else in Shepard.
At first, she focused solely on figuring out what was going on with the beacons and Saren's plans. That was the mission, after all. But all of them had so many stories, and she found herself curious to know more about them.
She admired how much Ashley Williams loved and cared for her family. The commander thought about her often after the weighted decision on Virmire.
Kaidan's views of the world were thoughtful and optimistic, despite going through so many hardships.
Wrex was rough, determined to fight anyone that wanted to, but he was surprisingly funny. The underlying desire to be respectable among the krogan made him seem vulnerable, though not in a bad way. Shepard was hopeful he would find his place.
Liara was undoubtedly beautiful and inquisitive. Though she was in her early 100s, her mind was that of an excited teenager, finding passion in history and discovery.
Tali looked at the world through curious eyes, amazed by the different cultures and things they used. Growing up in the fleet made her a natural, so Shepard loved watching her get excited about technology and engineering. Her extensive knowledge of geth proved more than helpful as they went on.
Joker was crass and stubborn, but a saint behind the helm of the Normandy. Shepard trusted him without question; it seemed like he was just an extension of the ship.
And meeting Garrus Vakarian made her rethink most of her preconceptions of turians. Maybe not the overly stoic, serious approach to missions, but it wasn't uncommon for most humans to be uncomfortable around turians. First Contact taught people that turians would sooner run you through with their omni-tools or shot you in the head than blink if you were in the way of their objective. Of course, Garrus later told her that turians saw humans as annoyances, constantly shoving their way into others' business without second thought, expecting that if they yelled loud enough or punched hard enough, they would be listened to. Granted, Shepard fit that criteria better than most humans, but Garrus explained that he underestimated everything else there was to know about her. She could say the same about her turian squad member.
The Garrus she knew from the SSV Normandy days was usually in the storage bay of the Normandy, making jokes with Wrex about Shepard's ludicrous driving skills in the Mako. His fingers worked briskly over the Mako's maintenance terminal, adjusting its cannons and suspension on a regular basis.
Nights in the small mess hall were spent exchanging war stories about everyone's training in their respective homeworlds, quiet respect and occasional jokes at other races' expense exchanged as bottles of liquor were passed around. He and Tali complained animatedly about the food quality of the dextro-amino rations they had to eat. His seriousness was always present; as a turian, he was taught to always be in control, but Shepard saw him relax more with each passing day. Finding Dr. Saleon brought out a new determination in Garrus. He wanted to do something more with himself, and Shepard was happy to hear he was going to try joining Spectre training again.
For the first time since she was a teenager, Shepard could honestly say she had friends. Logically, she knew how sad that sounded. Everyone was supposed to have friends, to have someone to be close to that you could trust and believe they would support you. It wasn't as if no one had offered to take the position before. The few men she encountered physically had showed signs of wanting to see her again, perhaps even pursue an actual relationship. But the thought of exposing herself to that level of relationship terrified her. It was so much easier to separate when it was just physical, or nonexistent to begin with. Cut off the limb soon enough, you can save the rest of the body. Shepard believed the same idea to be true in her mind. As long as she shut down the want to care or be close to someone, she would be better off.
That didn't stop people from showing interest, however. She was flattered by Kaidan and Liara's advances when they met on the first Normandy. Her father joked long ago that Shepard just had something about her that made people want to know her and be around her. That was a well-known Shepard trait. According to Aunt Estella, a Shepard could walk into a room of 40 strangers and walk out with at least 30 new friends (The rest were just assholes.).
Kaidan Alenko was soft-spoken and attentive. His concern for Shepard's well-being was genuine, though he continually struggling with the effects of his L2 implants. The man never let his physical hindrance stop him from being a great person and impressive soldier. Not since her family, and perhaps Captain Anderson, had anyone shown such care for her. At least not out-right. That was enough for her to shy away. She didn't deserve those affections.
Liara was constantly asking questions about Shepard's life and experiences. Shepard was certain it had started because of her contact with the beacon, but she pushed past the initial curiosity. The asari wanted to know the commander for the woman she as. As much as she wished to tell her, Shepard knew it would be impossible. Her life was her burden, no one else's, and she constantly feared that if anyone else knew exactly where she came from, exactly what she thought, she would be pitied, or be thought of as weak … or worse, crazy. Sanity, she was never sure of. Maybe Liara would have been different, but she couldn't bring herself to move past that insecurity. Liara's pity would never been with malice, she knew that, but pity alone was enough for her to turn away.
The man and the asari became her friends, instead. And that was enough for Shepard.
It would take some time, but she would eventually find what it took to trust someone beyond friendship. And if someone would have told Shepard that she was going to fall for a weapons genius with slightly awkward social graces in the form of a blue-eyed turian man, she would have laughed.