Sorry for late!
Chapter X: I Have a Terrible Presentiment
It's not easy to figure out who is the most bizarre dude: Chris, who seems to embody all the 'Perfect housewife' columns in the whole world, or the receptionist who is listening to him with extreme interest, almost hanging on every of his words.
Truth is that, after staring at the clock at least fifty times in a minute, sick of all the waiting, Chris has got up from the sofa and taken a walk around the hall until he has ended up chatting lively with the receptionist on duty.
So, in the last twenty minutes (the ones Matthew supposed would be just *a couple*), he has enjoyed himself suggesting the man a couple of his successful recipes, advising him about how to get rid of even the most persistent stains, how to care about the plants in the best way ever and he has even filled him in on the most popular centre-pieces at the moment.
And now he's also giving him some advices in order to improve the hotel corporate image.
Due to all this information, it's easy to figure out that Chris is not only keen about fashion magazines, but he doesn't disdain either the ones about house, furniture, kitchen, sewing, cross-stitching , paper-folding, gardening and do-it-yourself... and he also has a thing for the gossip ones.
Basically, Chris happens to like whatever comes from a news kiosk!
"Gee, not even my wife knows so many things!" the receptionist comments, excited.
"Let's say that during our journeys I have plenty of time to read." Chris explains. "By the way, there's still a thing I need to tell you. Bearing in mind that while I really like the vases you have picked up, their disposition is awfully wrong, it doesn't highlight the room. Plus, I don't think that the colours you have chosen for the flower arrangement are good enough. If I were you I'd head to warmer colours, such as red, orange with just a glimpse of…" Chris goes on, but he cuts himself off, as soon as he heard the elevator open up and some voices come from it, two very familiar voices.
And when he foresees the figures of Matt and Dom reflected by a mirror, his doubts become certainty.
"Just a glimpse of what?" the receptionist exhorts him to speak, as he's trustfully taking notes, just like he has done with all the previous topics, almost as if that detail was a matter of life or death.
"Of course, I know that tonight there's the football match, buddy, like hell I'm going to miss it! As soon as our show is done, I'm going to enjoy it, lying on a sofa and gulping down beer, a lot of beer!" Chris exclaims out loud, on purpose, in order to make Dom and Matt hear him.
And to improve the effect, he also gives a playful but also manly pat on the receptionist's shoulder as he looks at him kind of puzzled, although he tries his best to disguise it.
Truth is that Matt and Dom utterly ignore that their friend cares about that kind of stuff. Since they have made fun of him for ages the very first time they caught him while he was flipping through a fashion magazine with a bewitched face, now the guy is trying his best to hide the rest from them, in order to defend his reputation of 'macho' that he's more than proud of.
In the meantime, Dom and Matt look at each other in disbelief, very doubtful.
"Don't you have the strange feeling that he made us hear him on purpose?" Matt exclaims.
"I was about to tell you the same. It's so damn obvious that he was talking about something else, before we got here. Something he wants to hide from us" Dominic realizes.
"Uhmm... yeah. Besodes, there's something that doesn't convince me at all. Who is that receptionist? Why is he talking with him? But mostly, is he a receptionist for real? I'm not so sure about it, maybe he's a member of another band, a band that Chris aims to…"Matt suspects.
"Wow, Bells, what a brilliant deduction! After this, you can even wear a horrible raincoat, match it with an even more horrible hat, smoke a pipe and talking to me saying 'Elementary, Howard'!" Dom comments, looking at him with sincere admiration.
"Yes, I could… but that raincoat and that hat are anything but horrible!" the other protests.
"Don't tell me you're planning to wear that stuff! I hope you won't do it for real!" the blonde starts to get worried.
"Why not? You often dress up as Spiderman, so I can dress up as Sherlock Holmes!" the brunet strikes back, but Dom can't talk anymore, because Chris is about to reach them.
"Hey, you two, it's about time! I was almost considering the option of playing all alone tonight!" Chris exclaims, sitting on a sofa with them.
It's more than obvious that he has said that playfully, but not for Matthew, because his mind elaborates that information in a drastically wrong way.
"Nice plan, no doubt about that. Anyway, if you really did such a thing, then, at the next show, just in order to get even, Matt and I should play all alone!" Dominic strikes back.
Although he has also said that very playfully, this time is Chris' mind that achieves that answer... and jumps to terrifying conclusions.
It seems that the drummer is the only carefree member of the band and he's also the one who breaks the awkward silence that has fallen, talking about anything.
As they all are busy chatting, Chris can't help noticing the way the receptionist is looking at him, a mixture of eagerness and trust.
Chris knows very well the detail he's yearning for.
"Sorry, guys, I have to deliver the keys of my room, be right back." he walks away with an excuse.
"But... he already delivered them, didn't he?" Dom points out, with a confused expression.
"I've already realized everything, but now I don't have time enough to explain that to you. Anyway, do you remember that speech about reverse psychology?" Matt asks him.
"Of course I do, how could I forget it? You overloaded my head with that!" the other rolls his eyes.
"Good. Now it's time to use it. Listen to what I'll say and then try to play my game!" the brunet warns him.
"OK. Hey, wait a moment. You're not already using it on me, are you?" the blond gets suspicious.
"Damn you, Dom! It's not that you must always mean the contrary of what I say! We're gonna use it as soon as Chris comes back. I already know what topic we must appeal to, trust me." the other winks at him.
"I always trust you, you should know that." the blond smiles.
If they weren't in the middle of a hall, surrounded by people, that conversation would turn into something else.
In the meantime, Chris has reached the receptionist.
"Just a glimpse of what?" he repeats, as a broken record.
"Wisteria. End of the speech. And don't you dare tell those two about that!" Chris threatens him in a whisper, pointing quickly at his friends who are just too busy chatting, or rather plotting and making moony eyes to each other, to notice that.
The receptionist gives him his word and Chris leaves relieved.
Seeing him come back, Matt and Dom quit talking.
Dom observes Matt, curious to know what his plan is.
"You know, buddy, Dom and I were making a kind of survey…" Matt pursues.
Uh? Were we really doing such a thing? Dom wonders puzzled, but he doesn't dare cut him off.
"Really? About what?" Chris wonders, sitting back with them.
"About our instruments: which is the easiest one to play? No offence intended, mate, but the winner is just the bass!"
Chris stares at him as if he had stabbed him in the back.
"Matt is right. Think about it, when you came in our band you didn't even play the bass, and yet it took you just a while to learn how to play it very well." Dom adds, realizing finally where Matt is leading that speech up to.
"Well, it's just because I'm very good in that and I also learn things quickly. Plus, the bass is my life, I just had still to find that out back to those days…" Chris states.
"No, it's just because it's a very easy instrument to play, anyone else would manage to do that in a short time." Matt insists, cold and impassive.
"But…" Chris mumbles almost shocked.
"So, in case that you became sick…" Dominic goes on.
"Or in case that, for strange reasons why, * you felt like dumping us *..." Matthew adds, lingering on the last words on purpose.
"It wouldn't change much for us. Beyond the very deep friendship that bounds us, as we have found you, Chris, we would find many others in a heartbeat to replace you!" Dom goes on, with the same coldness that Matthew is showing to him, even with a shrug, almost as if what he's talking about wasn't that important.
Beyond the very deep friendship that bounds us? Why? Should I still consider those two as 'friends' of mine? Chris asks himself, more and more devastated.
"It was just a survey, of course!" Matthew reaffirms.
"Yeah, a purely hypothetic speech. C'mon, do you really think that such a thing could happen for real?" Dominic adds, patting his shoulder.
And they even dare ask me that? If it's how things are, well... I dread it will happen soon, very soon… Chris thinks and then he gets up.
"Excuse me now, I have to make my daily phone-call." he informs them, drawing his mobile out and leaving the room.
"Did you notice the way he looked at us? It's working so well, we're making him change his mind for sure!" Matthew rejoices. "And you were just marvellous when you reminded him of the beginning... that was such a ingenious move, I hadn't thought of it!" he congratulates with Dominic.
"I guessed it was appropriate. And judging by his face, it seems it worked well." the blond smiles, overjoyed because of his compliments.
"Now you must explain to me what you think you realized!" he questions him.
"OK, but, please, remember, I don't think. I have absolute certainty!" the other points out.
"Let's listen to it, then!"
"OK. What did Chris say when he went back to the reception?"
"He said that he had to deliver his keys... but why is that so important?" Dom frowns.
"Elementary, Howard. It's important, because when he came back to us, he still had the keys in his pocket!"
"Damn, I didn't notice that. So, it was just an excuse."
"Exactly. And do you remember how he pretended to talk about something else when he saw us coming?"
"Yeah, but... why did he do that?"
"Elementary, Howard. He has got a very detailed plan. We were wrong; he doesn't want to be part of another band. Just think about it. He said that he was ready to get on the stage all alone. On a musical level, he's the most complete of the trio, because he can play both the bass and the drums, and the guitar, too. Plus, he can sing too, sometimes I make fun of him, but truth is that he can sing very, very well." Matt comments.
"Oh, my God! So, he wants a new career as a soloist!" Dom figures out, frightened.
"Elementary, Howard. And I bet that that man is a fake receptionist who actually is his new manager, in disguise. And maybe he was already suggesting him some tour dates for his debut. That's why he was talking with him and acted so furtively." Matt explains.
"I'm speechless Matt, this is such a brilliant deduction…" Dominic congratulates with him. "But if you dare say 'Elementary, Howard' once again, I swear I'll punch your face!" he threatens him the second after.
"But it's you who gave me the idea!" the brunet justifies.
"Yeah, and I still repent for that. Anyway, damn you, Bells, it's not that you must take everything I say literally!" the blond rolls his eyes.
"You always do the contrary of what I say, so we are even!" the other strikes back.
"You are so exaggerated! It happened just a couple of times." the blond corrects him and then he changes his expression from bothered to irresistible. "Hey, Matt... Can we pretend that Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson fall desperately in love with each other? After all, they're best friends, too." he suggests.
"Dammit, Dom! Do I have to remind you of how we have already messed up with 'Romeo and Juliet' ? For today I guess we twisted badly enough master pieces of Literature!" Matthew strikes back.
"Yeah, right, we'd better not to exaggerate." he agrees, although a little bit upset.
"Anyways, I was talking just about the true Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson. Sherlock Bells and Doctor Howard can do whatever they please!" Matt winks at him with a smile, happy to see him cheerful again.
"Ok, it's only that Sherlock Bells and Doctor Howard can't fall head over heels for each other.." the blond dissents.
"Why not?" Matt gets concerned as he dreads that Dom has already changed his mind.
"Because they already did!" Dom winks at him and the other smiles with immediate relief.
They would like to do much more, but they must confine themselves just to hold their hands and look at each other, but in a very fleeting way, not to arouse suspicion.
"Hey, Matt, are you really sure that we'll manage to make Chris change his mind?" the blond asks him seriously, wavering.
"Yes, if our plan works."
"And what will happen… if it doesn't work?" the other wonders, wavering again.
"Well, I guess it will be the end of Muse, then." Matthew states, grieving.
***************************** (In the meantime)
From the other side of the ocean, in a little bit of Paradise, bathing in the sun, on a beach identical to the ones you can see in the brochures of the best travel agencies, a certain guy who happens to be named Tom Kirk jolts out of the blue, shivering and gasping.
"Hey, Tommy, honey, what's wrong?" a very nice blonde girl asks him, as she's busy bathing and relaxing with him as well, wearing a very colourful and scanty bikini.
The girl gets closer to him and massages his shoulders, in order to relax him.
In the meantime she manages to keep an eye on her mobile, too, since she can't allow herself to turn it off, especially when there are thousands of kilometres between her and her band.
"I don't know why, dear, but... I have a terrible presentiment…" Tom gets worried.
******************************* (In the meantime)
Without any need to cross the ocean, but simply leaving the Hall, another certain guy he's busy talking on the phone.
"Kelly, it's going from bad to worse!" Chris exclaims.
"Tell me, what happened this time?" his wife wonders bored as she rolls her eyes.
"They clearly said to me that I'm easy to replace! NO, wait, it's worse, maybe they don't even need another bassist, since they already planned a show where they're the only ones to perform…" he informs her, embittered.
"I can't believe it, I'm sure they were just kidding..."
"After all, Dom said that kinda playfully… but maybe they think about it for real. Plus, they keep isolating, almost as if they tried to avoid me."
"Oh, c'mon, you're exaggerating. There must be a logical reason why they are acting like that."
"Oh, yeah, there is. And the message is more than clear: I was the last one who joined the band, so I must be the first one to leave it!" her husband sighs melodramatically.
"Oh, please, shut up! It's just your imagination that's playing tricks on you. You all are a band and you'll always be." she assures him.
"No, Kelly, you don't understand. They are so mean to me!" Chris whimpers.
"Oh, my God! Chris, now you're reminding me of Alfie during his first days at school, when he didn't want to go there because he didn't get along with his buddies! What? Do you want me to have a little talk with your buddies too, in order to make them treat you better?" his wife wonders sarcastically.
"Would you really do that for me?" Chris asks her hopefully.
"Gee, I was kidding!"
"But you did that for Alfie!" her husband protests.
"Damn you! Christopher Tony Wolstenholme, you're beefy and can handle these stupid things on your own!" Kelly snaps.
"Here we go, you said that: I'm fat!" Chris gets desperate. "Maybe I should try the Pineapple diet. I heard it can burns the 10% of fat!" he ponders out loud.
"No, no Pineapple diet. No diet at all! I've just said that you're beefy, not fat, and I like the way you are, honey, I really do." she murmurs, pleasing him. "Now let's talk about more important things. Have you already seen the new cover of Vogue?" Kelly changes topic.
"Hell yeah, I've seen it, my love. And, you know, there are at least three wrong things in the model's hairstyle…"
TBC
Do you still remember Matt's war against senility? Whatever the answer is, you'll see about that in next chapter, I just can say that... I'll make him perform a very crazy and terrible awful song, yeah... I'm getting more and more insane!
Hope you had fun reading that. But please, whatever you think about it, just tell me! ;)