A new Power of three Part 10:
Julia

AN: Hey guys. I'm really sorry about it, but I edited chapter 4 and 5 just a tiny bit. Nothing major. Just noticed Meghan and Richard's birthdays had been up that past week when i put the events of this fic on my timetable. Sorry!

2004, 3 days ago, Wednesday evening

After Prue had left the house she headed to her car and just started to randomly drive around. Somewhen she ended up at lake sky larke. That's where she usually ended when she needed to think. Sitting at one of the docks and starring out at the lake made her relax, mostly. This time it was different. It was dark already. She couldn't see the ripples of the water. She didn't see how the wind played with the branches of the trees. She just starred into darkness. And that was kinda also a comparison to what she felt. She felt so completely blank. She didn't know where to head. Andy was right in that one thing. She really didn't know what to do. She ran from the decision and the truth, that she had to made one. Deep down she knew she had only one choice, but she just couldn't go for it. She couldn't give up everything again. She wanted so much more. She closed her eyes as a soft breeze brushed over her. She breathed deeply.

"mommy!" she heard herself scream and tears started to run down her face. She was only 3 years older now than her mom when she died. When she was younger she always used to be scared about turning 30. her mom and her showed so many similarities, she didn't want to admit it. She always told herself, she wasn't her mom. She would live. And now she was pregnant with her third child. Just like her mom, she now would leave three little kids behind, if destiny played out bad.

"i wished you could be here now." she whispered. Like always she talked to the lake like her mom still was inside of it and actually could hear her. She always felt so close to her mom here. She held onto her mom's necklace and dried her tears. It was already late. She needed to get some sleep. She knew she was going to be woken by her morning sickness around 5. but she just didn't want to... no couldn't get herself to go home. She knew Andy and her would fight again and she couldn't bare that now. She thought about getting some hotel room, but she barely had money with herself. She eventually wandered back to her car. She got inside and before she could even think about it, she was on the highway on the way to Portland. She stopped around 4 to get herself something to eat at McDonald's. At 5 she threw her whole so called breakfast up into some motorway service area's toilette. She got herself a bottle of water from the shop there and then got onto the road again.

2004, 2 days ago, Thursday morning

At 10 she parked the car in front of Julia's house. She starred up at it, not sure if she should go in. Julia would for sure call Andy, even if she asked her not to. But where else was she supposed to go? She couldn't stay at some lonely hotel room. She'd drive crazy there. She sighed deeply. She needed to decide on something now. She was exhaust. She needed something to eat and then some sleep. She would just have to risk it.

She got out of her car, locked it and went up to the door, then rang the doorbell a minute later Julia opened and looked shocked and confused at Prue

"Prue?"

"hey mama, can I come in?"

"umm... sure..." Julia told her, seeing how Prue looked worst and stepped aside

"what happened? What are you doing here?" Julia asked her when she stepped aside to let her in, but instead was pulled into a tight hug by her daughter in law. She felt how Prue slumped in her arms and started to cry

"hey, hey, hey... shshsh... it's okay" she said softly, kicking the door to close it and just let Prue calm a little before she asked more "is everything okay? Did something happen to the kids? Andy? The girls?"

"no, no, they're all fine." Prue said as she pushed some tears away and pulled a little away "i just... Andy and I had a fight. I needed some time off and before I knew it I was on the highway..."

"wait. You drove here? Honey, it's a ten hours drive here..." she said softly

"i know..."

"you drove all night?"

"i had so much on my mind. I couldn't stop driving. Can I... can I have some coffee, please?"

Julia was still completely confused and worried. Prue's state of mind kinda scared her, but she didn't let her notice

"of course. C'mon" she said and took her to the kitchen. Prue sat down on one of the chairs there and just waited for her coffee "you want anything else?" Julia asked while making her her coffee

"a peanut butter sandwich would be great" Prue answered smiling lightly. And as Julia placed the mug with coffee in front of her she grabbed her by the ankle

"i know it's a lot to ask of you, but could you please not call Andy? I just... I need a little time off. I promise I'll go back latest tomoorow. If you let me stay... that is. But I... I can't be home right now." she asked Julia looking at her. Julia fought her immense desire to ask something or right away call Andy to get to know what just happened between them that made Prue this miserable

"i promise I will not call him. But sweetie you should. Does he know where you are? He's gonna be worried sick..."

"i..." Prue sighed and looked down. Julia sat down next to her and pulled her face up by her chin, so Prue had to look at her

"of course you can stay. You're always welcome here. But... sweetie, you seriously worry me. What is wrong?" Prue just shook her head lightly

"can I tell you later?" she asked, just feeling completely exhaust

"will you tell me later or are you just trying to get out of this talk?"

"will you call Andy?"

"i... no. I won't okay? I promise." Prue nodded slightly and took a sip of her coffee. She didn't have any coffee for almost a week. In the first few seconds she more than enjoyed the feeling that filled her body when she only tasted coffee. But almost immediately after she felt a huge bile coming up. She could have thrown up again right there, but fought the feeling and swallowed the bile back down. "sweetie?"

"I'm okay" Prue told her, forcing a small smile "i just need some sleep"

"well I'm gonna fix you that sandwich then, so you can get to bed"

2004, yesterday, Friday morning

Prue only woke the next morning. She hadn't slept that good in weeks. She yawned and stretched a little, then looked around the room. She hadn't noticed when going to bed, Julia had brought her into Andy's old room. She looked around. She never had been here. She sat up and looked around. There wasn't much left of Andy. There were some pictures of him and his football teams. Highschool and college. Some diplomas, his degree from police academy. On his nightstand was a picture of Susan. And on the wall one of him, Susan and Marcus on the day of their graduation. She then noticed the bedding, it was the one she got him when she had redecorated his room for his birthday. She got up and went over to his desk. There stood a little trophy. She smiled slightly and let her hands run over it. It was the one from the year before they graduated. They had won the mastership. She looked at the picture next to it. The whole team huddled together. A tear fell from her eyes. She had taken that picture. Only a few months later Julia and Richard left town for Richard's birthday. They had slept with each other.

She caught sight of his closet and went over. She opened it and found his football jacket. She took it off the hook and slid inside, closing her eyes. She suddenly felt his arms around her and shrugged together. She was sure, Julia had called Andy and he now really was in the room with her but as she looked around again, there was noone. She sighed and put the jacket back on it's place. Then grabbed one of the shirts she still knew and got out of her own shirt and bra, then got dressed into his shirt. Afterall she had slept in her clothes, not to talk about the ride. She needed something new to wear and at home she wore his shirts every now and then as well. She then found a big box in front of his bed and started to shake visibly

flashback

"Prue, it was a nice funeral, really. You did a great job" Julia said standing just in front of Prue. Both still dressed in black as they were just coming from Andy's funeral. They now stood in Andy's apartment. Both women had red and puffy eyes. Prue's eyes tried to focus on Julia's, but she couldn't hold that gaze.

"I'm so sorry, Julia" she whispered, her words barely hearable as her sobs stifled them even more when she was starting to cry again. Julia just wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Both just crying several minutes. Richard in the meantime was taking boxes down to the car. He stepped up to them, one last large dark green box in his hands already. Julia pulled out of the hug as she noticed Richard had approached them

"that's the last one" he said. His voice a little raspy, showing, he too fought his emotions.

"are you sure you don't want any of his things?" Julia asked

"i took some small things while wrapping everything up. I... all of this belongs to an Andy I barely know... it wouldn't be right to take it." she said lowly "I'd still like to take his leather jacket, if that's okay..." Julia just nodded "you don't have to look through the boxes. All clothes and shoes, dinnerware and some furniture I... I donated them already... In the brown boxes are things I wasn't sure about... but the green ones..." Julia again nodded. She understood and she didn't want to make it even harder for Prue.

She knew Andy now was alive and kicking but it still hit her hard to see or better find a remembrance of his death. Right then she just wanted to call him, make him orb there and hold her. She swallowed and finally pulled her view of the green box. Her stomach grumbled loudly. She looked at a clock and noticed it was 8am.

"but I arrived at 10..." she whispered and looked at Andy's old alarm clock. She read the date on it and understood, that she had slept a whole day! She starred at the alarm clock for some more. Friday. Today was the day. She closed her eyes and pushed the thought away again. Then went for the door. She looked up and down the corridor. She had been at Julia's and Richard's house in Portland before. But she hadn't been upstairs. She wasn't sure which way to take and then just walked a few steps to the right, where she found a pair of stairs to go down.

"hey, morning" Julia greeted her with a smile

"morning." she smiled back

"how did you sleep?"

"better than I have in a few weeks..." she answered

"c'mon. Sit down. I'm just making pancakes"

Prue nodded and sat down, watching her work and noticing how similar Andy and her were in their actions. She sighed and smiled contemptibly. She closed her eyes and saw Andy do these things. She could see it all detailed up to the point where Julia placed the pancakes in front of her

"want some juice? Milk? Coffee? Tea?"

"juice sounds great" Prue answered and looked at the pancakes. The last few weeks pancakes always caused her to throw up, but right now she actually could stand the smell

"you okay? You're so silent... and still pale..." Prue shook her head a little to get her thoughts to concentrate on Julia

"I'm fine." she answered smiling a little "the pancakes actually smell great" she told her, not letting on about what a huge compliment that had been to the breakfast Julia had made. Julia placed the juice in front of Prue and sat down with her

"look, I never was the one to make a big deal of things, so I'm coming right to the point. Will you tell me what's going on now?" Prue sighed heavily and looked down, still chewing on her first bite of pancake

"do I have to? I mean..."

"you don't have to, but I don't think I can help you, if I don't know anything and I kinda think that's why you're here, aren't you? And I am worried about you. And about Andy. Something must have happened between the two... because he said last night you were in your bedroom with some stomach flue..."

"you called him?"

"i didn't say anything about you. I juts called and we talked a little. I asked about how everyone was doing, and Andy said you were just great, beside that stomach flue of yours. So, like I said... I'm now even more worried about you and the two of you. Why is he lieing to me, Prue?" Prue let go off her fork and laid it down again. She now was picking her cuticles. "Prue?"

"i... I dunno what to tell to you. I'm... I dunno... being ridiculous, I guess"

"you know you can tell me anything. Just cause I'm Andy's mother doesn't mea..."

"i think I'm pregnant" Prue interrupted her and looked up in Julia's eyes for a second, seeing her surprised, but before she could say anything about it she looked down again "and I don't like it" she added lowly. She couldn't look at Julia. She knew she'd probably be Andy's opinion. She didn't know how to face her saying there probably existed another grandchild of hers and then, that she didn't want it. She felt bad, even worse that she didn't - couldn't - like or accept this child.

"okay." Julia said and took a sip from her own coffee

"I'm not hundred percent sure about it. Can only know when I make a test. Today I can finally make a test"

"and you need that test?" Prue glanced again into Julia's eyes for a split of a second "i mean. Close your eyes. Look into your heart. Listen to your body. You don't need a test to know this, now do you?" a few tears now slipped from her eyes

"no" Prue said lowly "no. I don't need that test. I know there's a baby growing inside of me. But... as long as I didn't make a test I feel like... it's not true. That I'm just being ridiculous. And if it's not true, then I won't have to deal with it."

"does Andy know?" Julia asked softly

"he only thought I had a stomach flue. That's what the whole manor thinks, too. But he found out I didn't get better... I've had awful morning sickness this whole last weeks... and he wanted me to go to the doctor... he found out I didn't go and was completely furious, because he was worried about me. I told him and I also told him I didn't like the thought of it. And we got into a huge fight. He was thrilled. And I just can't be thrilled. And he tells me I'm ridiculous because I don't face the facts before I've taken that test..." she told her "and I probably am" she said lowly

"first of all... nothing you feel or are is being ridiculous." she told her and grabbed her hand "if you don't like the idea, then that is okay. The question is just how you deal with not liking the idea? Are you thinking about why you don't like the idea? Are you thinking about options?"

"i just... I was done with this, Julia. I... to me our family was complete. It was perfect the way it was. I... I never expected anything like that happening. I never even thought of the possibility of another child. I'm glad I finally adjusted to being a mom, really. I mean... it's not like with normal families, who get one kid... and then a few years after, there's the next one. I practically had them both at the same time. And to be honest it at first wasn't easy to me. Suddenly I had not only a newborn, but also a 2 year old. I learned to be a mom to them. And I guess I'm also doing some kind of good job. But I never was even able to think about more. These past two years I was so busy in learning how to be a mom. And now I finally feel comfortable with how things are going. The routine we had. I was starting to think about the future... about... how it could be in a few months. How I could go back to work. How Andy and I finally could enjoy ourselves a little more, because the kids were bigger..." she told her and tried to explain it all to her

"and then we had this one night... when we completely turned our brains off... and there these irresponsible teenagers were again. Not protecting. And there we go again. It doesn't feel right, Julia"

"but is it really that bad, if that still waits a little. And hey, I'm still there too, when you need your privacy as a couple"

"i know but... it won't be our bed anymore again. Diapers. Sleepless nights. Breastfeeding. I can't adjust to the thought of it being back. When I looked into the future, I felt like I finally could find myself. Sometimes I just feel like... I'm a noone. I feel like... well I... I always was responsible for someone. I always like was connected to someone. If somebody thought about me, he or she never thought of me as Prue. I was always... penny's grandchild. Patty's daughter. I was phoebe's sister. Andy's girlfriend. A mom to Meghan and Brianna. But who am I if I'm not connected to one of them? Noone ever thought of me as Prue..."

"that is not true, honey and you know that. I thought and think of you as Prue. Andy does. Your sisters do. Your grandma did."

"but I didn't!" Prue protested. "i don't know who I am! And I want to be someone!"

"i think I kinda know how you feel" Julia said softly and that way tried to calm Prue again

"really?"

"well, there was a time I felt something like useless as well. Your mom and I were both happy with our men. And I really loved Richard. I wouldn't miss one day without him. But then... you guys got into school and didn't need me anymore. your mom and dad got their divorce... and she suddenly had Sam. She bloomed so much with the attention she got of him. Flowers. Dates. Love letters. I envied her so much. I wanted this attention. This feeling of someone wanting you. Needing you. To me, well us, it was just a daily routine. Andy was getting bigger and more independent every day. I kinda lost my best friend to her new lover. My husband and I were somehow caught in this daily... weekly trot. There was nothing exciting. No highs or lows. It was just boring. And I couldn't believe that this was going to be my life. That this was it. I guess I really felt like a noone then, too"

"i just wished we had more time to do this all... I wished... I dunno... these past years... thy should have belonged to us. We never were again like a couple. It was always the two of us and the kids. And before the kids he was dead. And before that we... I was constantly putting him on a hold because of demons... I just wished... we never had lost Meghan... we'd get married somewhen later... we could have 5 kids the following years. I feel like I missed something. Like I missed life. I feel like that already for years. And I thought I could have it now..."

"okay. So you don't like to be pregnant. What are you gonna do?" Prue shrugged together as Julia spoke it out. When Andy and her fought the other day, she didn't realize what he was actually saying. She never had said it. She was pregnant.

"i don't need Andy or you to tell me what I should do. I know that already. I won't give it up for adoption. And I definitely won't have an abortion. So what's there left? I'm just scared I'm breaking when I make that decision. And so I run. I act like there are other options. I act like there was a possibility this is not true. And I dunno how to stop running. Stop denying. And I guess that's why I'm here..." Julia pulled Prue into a hug as Prue started to cry again