Chapter 10
Erik found his eyes darting around as if they were chasing floaters in his vision, an eerie feeling rolling up his spine. He knew this sense of security was something that only an insane person would have in this area. He found himself within his high school, "Erik, come on wake up man, the teachers looking" One of his friends slurred repeatedly kicking his desk. This was the third time this week that the teacher had woken him up in class during the week. He knew that the teacher was at his wits end with him.
But, his mind was elsewhere right now. Maybe it was the drugs his group had decided to mess with last night, but his mind was definitely reeling and the words most people were saying were sounding absolutely slurred.
He could barely make a recognition of what that writing was on the board. It seemed to be some form of Korean writing. Another kick came to his seat. What the heck did he do last night? Everything felt like a blur in his head, each kick to his seat felt like a hammer slamming down onto his head, he had to find out what it was. And kick that stuff into the street.
There was a word for this feeling. A kick came to his seat. What was it again? Buzzed? That word didn't sound quite right, but the thought of doing it again left a bad taste in his mouth.
Drugs weren't going to be an outlet for him anytime soon, even with the new array of chemicals that were popping up in the city more and more frequently. His friend sent another kick into his chair this time lurching him forwards. "Do you mind? I'm thinking!" Erik snapped managing a harsh-whisper.
"Great, that's wonderful for you to join the rest of the class in today's lecture." Erik looked up to see his teacher snapping open and shut a book that he had never opened in the entire class, "Drugs & Effects in Society, And Other Such Things You May Like to Know"
Erik sighed, blowing some hair out of his face, he didn't want to deal with this self-righteous snob right now. He could barely read the words on the paper with the letters running all over the place, but now the teacher expected him to read something that was on the board? "I think I need glasses." He slurred, squinting at the board.
Man, he hoped that slur wasn't enough to figure out what he had been doing last night. It was a one-time thing, and this situation right now was definitely proving that he didn't want to do it again, hey he at least to bother to show up today. Which probably wasn't the smartest decision, but he didn't want to stay home either.
So, here he was. He wondered if he should tell the teacher that he felt sick or if the teacher was thinking that he was still high or even hungover.
Erik risked a glance towards his teacher knowing that his eyes were likely bloodshot and easy to spot. His teacher scratched the back of his neck, a piteous look on his face, then began to move forwards, "Hang in there buddy, we've all had our days."
Erik felt his head tilt on its own visibly showing the questioning face, for some reason these words were clear but his brain didn't seem to understand the concept of what he meant, it was like static running through his head. His normally stern teacher who was always pestering him suddenly seemed as though his gaze was softer today.
His friend sent him another kick to his chair, "I told you not to go with those guys last night. They give me a bad vibe." Erik felt himself unconsciously nod. He wasn't wrong, everything was a blur and the words sounded like static. There wasn't much of a place to go home to go. And there wasn't much of a place here, but at least people talked in this area.
"I know, I know. I was just curious. But now i've gone and lost my mind."
His friend let out a stiff laugh, "I never knew you had one." he joked.
"Hey!" Erik snapped spinning around as the bell rang for the next class, "rude man! I thought you were on my side!"
Steps clicked over towards where they were, it was too late for him to recognize that they were coming towards him. Erik glanced at the shoes in his field of vision, assuming at first that they were simply walking by, smart people stayed away from people like him.
And he knew those shoes belonged to someone who was smart, someone who would get out of this dump. Well, that was until they weren't moving, he glanced up accidentally meeting her intense gaze. Kinana. Her nose was scrunched up as critical and disappointed eyes scrutinized him over. It felt worse then the teacher's piteous looks, it was different.
The look the teacher had been giving him was as if the teacher was betting that he was going to do something like he did last night since the moment he stepped through the classroom door.
The look he was receiving from her was as if she thought he knew better. He did. He just wasn't having it last night. Maybe he was trying to make a stand against his family, but it did the exact opposite. His father handed him more of the stuff when he finally staggered home and told him to get out.
But the look Kinana was giving him was the one he must've wanted on some level from his family. Disappointment circled through her eyes, she was hoping from more out of him. Two expert doctors' daughter and he expected that she wouldn't be able to tell that he was getting into some form of drug just from the faint whiff of him or a glance at him? What a waste.
Erik glanced up memorising her lip just in-case he would have to lipread whatever was being said to him, or that's what he wanted to tell himself that he was doing. She pierced her lips together again without saying a word she left.
"Erik-man, chase her. You've got her attention finally." His friend whispered as he watched Erik stand up from his seat. Erik slumped back down into his seat. "What the heck? Man, you've got to chase her, prove to her it isn't what she thinks it is!" His friend muttered.
"How am I supposed to do that when she's right?" Erik placed his head on the desk rolling a pencil up and down it.
His friend shook his head at him, "Let's go, Mrs. quee will kill us if we're late to intermediate-music again, especially when you're in the band." He had already moved towards the door.
Kinana darted back into the room fear running through her eyes. Erik found himself turning to the door watching it explode, the teacher rushing towards the door attempting to gather Erik's best friend up and stop the bleeding.
People were screaming and rushing towards the teacher in an attempt to be told what to do in the madness, the ruthless march of a planned attack echoed down the hall, panic flowed through his veins. He could feel his heartbeat pulsing in his right hand. The feeling of real panic awakening him from his half-conscious state.
Erik found himself glance in-between the window and his classmates, a puff of dark hair. A bluish-purple blob of hair drawing his attention. Erik glanced towards the window again. He darted towards Kinana moving in-between her and the door a terrible feeling overwhelming him. An army of people burst into the room firing shots sporadically throughout the room.
Cobra's eyes snapped open. It had been a while. He found that his body was already sitting up when he had awoken. His brain probably confused it in an attempt to escape the repetitive situation. He ran a hand through his hair, it had changed slightly. He could've lost her that day along with his best friend.
Cobra grinded his teeth together wishing that the nightmares would leave. They were starting to get twisted. It was that recurring memory of the night that the school became a building of corpses. Cobra removed the blankets heading down the stairs into the kitchen where he grabbed a drink. Or two. Maybe three.
"Another nightmare?" Leader asked making him jump.
"Leader, what are you doing down here?"
Leader laughed, turning the papers of the newspaper, "What am I? Confined to my room?"
"It's nearly three a.m." He explained.
Leader shook his head, "Cobra, it's okay to talk to people about these things."
Cobra set the cup down on the counter, "I never said I had nightmares."
"You never denied it either, you do understand that there's such a thing as PTSD, right?" Tonight Leader's voice made it sound like he was the most understanding human being in the world.
Cobra pulled up a chair, setting his cup down, and gestured to see if Leader wanted anything, he felt himself draw his hand back in slight embarrassment. Right. Leader was blind now.
"I don't want anything, thanks though." Leader laughed causing Cobra to move his hand away from the cup. He glanced towards Leader, tilting his head back and forth, was the blindness an act?
"I'm still blind Cobra, I can't see whatever facial expression you're gesturing, it's just normal you almost always offer something when you drink something." Cobra nodded, receiving a huff from Leader. "But seriously PTSD is something that happens, it's nothing to be embarrassed about it's normal."
Cobra sighed keeping a hold on his drink for more of something to do with his hands then actually drinking out of the cup. "It's not just memories, it's nightmares, they keep changing. Sometimes there's my little sisters looking like last time I saw them walking up and down the hallways before it happens. Sometimes, they're part of the pile, it was something I was getting used to. Able to push to the back of my head. But tonight it was as if Kinana had never left, tonight she ran back into the room right before that mess. I was literally choosing between her and myself. I taste disgust on my tongue." Cobra whispered wishing that Leader wasn't so easy to talk to.
"It doesn't have to be recurring memories. It's the minds mechanism. The easy way to explain it is like the mind is fighting itself. Your body has left the fight-or-flight mode and now your mind is working out that you might need these scenarios for the future without realizing that you're probably safe now."
"But we're not."
Leader set the paper down, "But we will be."
"Tonight was different. I've been wild as part of our gang with nothing to lose but each other and we each felt that mutually, but she's here now and I feel like there's more to lose then I felt before."
"There's a difference. With your duo that adore you, you see the hint insanity in their eyes, but you haven't seen that in her. Yet."
"She's not-"
"You just don't see it yet, maybe you'll be still as protective of her when you finally see her spark of madness or maybe it'll get twice as worse."
"She's not-"
"Cobra, we're all insane, that's how we live."
Cobra felt himself glance towards his socks as he sat at the table, pondering life, and the options that should've been laid out for him. "If you ever got out of this dump would you go to a college? Work a full-time job? What would we do with our lives?"
Leader shook his head, almost silver hair swirling around his chin, "I've lived like this for so long I don't think there really is a way out, I would probably just find another gang to run to." He sighed. "A more pressing matter would be what that drug on Kinana's back does and if it's actually valuable enough for the other gangs to hunt us down again."
Cobra nodded. There were questions he wanted to ask her, but he was sure that this wasn't one that she would have the answer for. "We could ask her to allow us to make the drug." Leader questioned bouncing ideas off of his head.
"We don't know what that drug can do."
"That's the point, if we can determine it isn't valuable or anything we can trick them into something else we have to determine how much to increase security." Leader shook his head like it was a basic that he had skipped over.
"It's on her back. We can't just be like, 'yo I want the drug info.' that'll freak her out. And she's been guarding it for so long there's no way she's just going to be luck, 'yup, sure thing, here ya go.'" Cobra felt the bitterness come off the edge of his voice. The answer was obvious. They should've increased security already.
If it wasn't the fact that she had just escaped from another gang into theirs, the fact that she had a tattoo for a chemical-drug they had commissioned themselves carved into her back, or that this gang burned down their original house looking for her during a turf war he wouldn't know what would determine this gang as 'potentially dangerous'. But none of these were options to increase security yet, Leader just had to know what it did. Darn him and his curiosity.
"We could always suggest to her the idea to cover it up with another tattoo to make it completely illegible." Leader prompted rolling a glass around the table. "Or we could ask her and use the drug to our benefit." Leader muttered, his incoherent mutterings coming to the surface. He was trying to think of what would be best for each of them, the gang was a whole included.
"And if that drug is used against us?" Cobra asked, receiving a darkened look from Leader. The darkness flashing through his eyes in the motion of a vortex, he was already considering all ends for that possibility. And which would cause more damage to their gang.
"Bos-Leader! Guys!" Desmond slid into the room, stumbling over the garbage as he picked it up once again, as he scurried to the table. Desmond scrambled for a pencil as he drew out their map.
Leader stood up, placing a hand on the table, "what's happening? Where's Dimitri?"
"It's okay, it's just Desmond scrambling through papers." Cobra his head at Desmond, this mess must've sounded like their safehouse was getting broken into, like the week was starting all over again.
"Dimitri went out on patrol a while ago and didn't come back with the people he left with." Desmond muttered staring down at the map, "I was hoping that meant he found something interesting to play with like usual, but he usually comes back eventually to get me." Desmond explained as he jotted onto the map.
"Could be he just lost his way for now. It is a new place." Cobra muttered, it was in Dimitri's nature to wander when he was feeling unsatisfied with something. But he had never wandered far enough for Desmond not to be able to find him before. Desmond nodded, slowly putting the map away. As Leader shuffled not used to their outbursts. "They usually come to me when they're worried about something, it'll be fine, Dimitri has wandering tendencies."
Leader shook his head, "I've got a bad feeling. I've seen it, Dimitri is a little less secure than Desmond. He'll stick closer to you, something he considers stable, well at least more stable than his life when things get rocky. Those boys they rely on you." Leader glared down into an empty glass unable to see the fierce gaze the echoed back at him.
"Go to bed Leader. It's early, and we've got a couple rough days ahead of ourselves." He sighed.
A soft rasping came to the door, later in the morning as Cobra found himself kicking of the blankets in annoyance. No one that lived in this house knocked. They just beat on the door until someone let them into their own home. He threw on a pair of pants as he scurried down the stairs and grabbed whatever coat he could off of the wall, he peered through the window next to the door. His eyebrows kneading themselves together. It was just a simply envelope. He unlocked the door proceeding with caution as he scooped it up, glancing each way before drawing himself back inside locking the door as he went.
He carefully pried the envelope open, away from his face, as he watched a letter and a picture fall out. "Give the formula and the girl back, neither damaged, and we'll return this one to you'all." Cobra felt his eyes squint at the chicken scratch. Anyone else under any other circumstances would have determined this letter for an elementary schooler's and chucked the thing for its illegibility. Cobra felt a piercing gaze run its way up from the back of his eyes.
He was going to be forced to choose. Between Dimitri and Kinana.