Throwing back the shot of whiskey she had poured herself, Emily hissed at the pain. If it weren't for the children trick-or-treating and coming to the door every other minute, Emily would have been five shots deep.
Meredith had let her know that Derek agreed to come to the party.
Was he purposely ignoring what she told him? She wasn't sure she had had enough time to digest everything before seeing him again.
She could hear Alex and Izzie arguing as the doorbell rang, and she quickly picked up the bowl of candy they had filled up for trick-or-treaters.
Opening the door, the intern smiled down to the children standing on the steps. "Happy Halloween," she laughed. "Aren't you all so scary?"
The little boy with his hair slickedback did his best to bare his fangs. "I'm a vampire."
"I see that." She knelt down and dropped a lollipop into his pumpkin. "A candy for the vampire, the witch and the beautiful princess," she smiled, watching the little boy in the princess costume blush.
"Thank you!"
Closing the door behind her, Emily quickly made her way into the kitchen. "Everyone just calm down," she huffed, noticing Meredith and George fighting over the snack bowl. "What is going on?"
"Oh look, it's Mother Teresa coming to keep the peace."
Grinning, the brunette took a piece of one of the freshly made brownies and threw it at the intern who the other day proclaimed her love for cardio. "Fuck off," she snorted, laughing along with Cristina. "Seriously, what's with all the yelling?"
Alex rolled his eyes. "George wants to make the mix and Mer won't let him."
"Why can't I make it?"
The blond intern stole the bowl back from her friend. "Because you get the guac and I get the chips."
Emily frowned, walking over to the island in the kitchen and grabbing a cheese grater to help with the mix. Last time, George's chip mix had sent her running o the bathroom. She had to remember to thank Meredith for taking over this time. "Why didn't we make this all earlier?" The staff from the hospital was supposed to be there in less than twenty minutes.
"Izzie burned all the cookies so we had to start over."
The former model pouted. "I was studying. I forgot," she sighed, letting Emily set a curl back behind her ear.
"Studying comes first," the ambassador's daughter reminded her.
Walking up behind the brunette, Alex wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "You smell like a liquor shop, by the way," he whispered, finding privacy as the volume in the kitchen picked back up.
Pouting, Emily leaned back into the other intern. "I'm nervous." She heard George call out that he was going to answer the door as she groaned. "I don't know if I want him here."
Alex reached forward and took a piece of a brownie, offering it to the now laughing woman. "Just ignore him and enjoy your night."
She brought her hand up to catch the crumbs of the brownie her friend was feeding her. "I've ignored him long enough." Taking a second to appreciate the sweetness of the chocolate, Emily sighed. "Why is every man so complicated?"
"Every man?" he asked. "Every single one of us who has a penis?"
Emily couldn't stop herself from laughing. "Yes!" she shrieked, jumping away when he tickled her. "Everyone with a penis always wants to put it in everything and everyone."
"I haven't gotten mine even close to you." Alex took the rest of the brownie and threw it at the other intern. "Jealous?"
Her head shook, cracking up as she blocked the treat from hitting her face. "Yeah baby, come give it to me," she joked, her ribs hurting as she laughed along with the other intern.
"Uh, guys?"
Turning at the sound of George's voice, Emily's eyes widened.
Derek gave a small nod. "Sorry to interrupt," he said slowly, watching as the brunette woman he had fallen for straighten up and wipe the crumbs she thought could be littering her face. "Looks like I'm a little early."
Cristina made her way over to Emily as one of the other interns offered the neurosurgeon in the kitchen's doorway a beer. "You ok?"
Shakily nodding her head, the brown eyed brunette put her hands on the kitchen island to steady herself. "I thought I'd be able to hide in the crowd." She rolled her shoulders to try and rid some of her tension. "Guess that option's out."
When she heard him walking over, Emily stole Cristina's beer and set the bottle to her lips so if he asked a question she had an obvious excuse as to why she wouldn't answer.
"If I remember correctly, Emily said you're all living here now?"
Izzie sucked the guacamole off of her thumb as she nodded her head. "Cheaper rent."
Derek smiled, sitting himself down at the island. "I would assume it's like the house I grew up in," the surgeon laughed. "Daily disagreements?"
The ambassador's daughter watched as George and Meredith continued to argue as Derek spoke.
Hearing the doorbell, the surgeon continued. "But at the end of the day you still love being together?" He watched Izzie walk behind the beautiful brunette he had been chasing for months and fix the hair Emily had left to dry and curl. "Like siblings."
"Siblings who hooked up, maybe."
Emily almost choked on her beer, coughing the liquid up at Alex's comment. "He's kidding," she said quickly, waving her hand before her eyes to stop herself from crying. "He's just kidding." She had already told Derek that she and Alex hadn't been together, but with all of her friend's jokes she was sure Derek would come to his own conclusions.
Derek slowly nodded. "Of course."
Watching the two dark haired doctors awkwardly stare at one another, Cristina stepped forward. "So Em, you want to go start the music?"
Emily nodded. She could hear George letting people into the house already. "Yeah sure." She almost ran from her spot in the kitchen, sure the neurosurgeon was watching her.
"Do you want a beer, Dr. Shepherd?"
Derek nodded as Cristina made her way to the fridge. "Thank you, but please call me Derek."
The dark eyed woman laughed lightly, handing the older man the drink. "Just like Emily does, right?"
The surgeon's face immediately fell. He could hear a couple more doctors from the hospital walk into the house and the music start to play as he fought hard to think of something to say.
"I'm sure Emily told you we knew," Cristina grinned, "but you probably don't know how much you hurt her."
Derek's eyes softened. "I do." When he met her in the supply room and saw her tears, his heart broke.
"I'm not going to give you one of those 'she's my best friend and I'll kill you if you hurt her' speeches because those are completely overrated." Rolling her eyes, Cristina took a swig of her own beer. "But I can tell you that you'll do better with her than without her." She watched as he searched for something to say and she made a face. "Yeah, I'm not done."
Sitting down across from the older man, the surgical intern looked into the eyes Emily had bragged to her about. "I don't like you."
Derek sat back.
"I'd rather Emily be with Alex and make it uncomfortable for our whole little family group here," she had to stop herself from gagging at the 'f' word, "but she's been struggling with how to approach you. Emily wants to at least be friends, and you running after her like a second grader is making it hard for her."
The surgeon slowly nodded his head, sitting his elbows on the island. "So I should...?"
Cristina almost outright groaned at the clueless look on his face. "Either dump your wife and tell Emily how you feel or leave her alone."
Derek watched the younger woman walk into the crowded living room. Was she right? He knew that he wanted nothing to do with Addison, but would it be better to leave Emily alone for good?
What he felt for Emily was something he hadn't even thought about feeling for Addison until their six month anniversary had passed.
Stealing a shot that Meredith had made for Alex, the famous neurosurgeon's daughter threw it back. "Sorry," she hissed, handing the glass back to the homeowner. "I'll buy you an entire bottle."
Alex grimaced. "Slow down, why don't you?"
"I can't." Emily cursed herself for the tears entering her eyes at the thought of the older man. The alcohol was already hitting her. "I can't stay here with him knowing that I want to be more than friends and can't be."
Stepping closer to her friend, Cristina took Emily's arm. "Maybe go upstairs and take a minute."
Emily quickly nodded, wiping away her tears and passing the doctors they had invited so she could make her way up to her room.
She sighed, walking down the hall to the last room on the right and closing the door behind her. Cristina, Izzie and herself had moved into the one room. Sitting on the edge of the bed two of them shared at once, the brunette quickly wiped away the tears that kept falling. "This is why I shouldn't drink," she scolded herself, seeing her reflection in the mirror across the room. "Fuck."
A knock at the door had Emily wanting to fall back into the clean duvet and groan.
When she opened the door, Derek noticed her eyes widen and her breathing stop. "Can I come in?" She looked upset, small tear droplets in the corners of her eyes and her cheeks red.
Emily gulped, trying to get her breath past the lump in her throat as she stepped back and let him inside.
It was dark so she could barely see his face, the moonlight's incandescence the only way she was able to see the sadness in those blue eyes.
"If you want me to leave, I can."
Emily felt herself grow dizzy from the alcohol, but she shook her head anyway. "No." The lump in her throat made her voice hoarse, and her tears suddenly clouded her vision. "Don't go."
At the tears threading through her words, Derek instinctively took a step forward. "How can I help?"
The intern couldn't stop herself from taking half a step forward and stepping on her tip toes and pressing her lips against the older man's.
He had wanted nothing more than to kiss her for weeks, but the desperation in Emily's kiss had him backing away. "You've been drinking," he tried to reason with her. "I can't do this right now."
Emily rolled her teary eyes and stepped away. "Because you want Addison, right?" She knew they had started talking again, and God knows what they had discussed and how they had decided to deal with their marriage.
"What?" Derek almost laughed, shaking his head. "No. Why would you think that?"
The brunette quickly divulged that she had seen them the other day at the hospital having lunch together, Addison taking the tomato Derek hadn't wanted and eating it herself. "Just tell me what you two are doing."
Derek gave himself a moment to compose himself, keeping quiet.
"Do you still love her?" She would regret this the next morning when she remembered what happened, but if she didn't get it off her chest then she never would. "Because if you want to work your marriage out then I need you to leave." She needed time to convince herself that she would be ok.
Derek wanted to wrap the smaller woman up in a hug, seeing the sadness wash over her. "If I said yes, what would you say?"
Emily held back the tears that wanted to spill down her cheeks. "I'd try to convince you that I'm the better choice," she whispered.
"How?"
The brunette sniffled, her eye contact with the neurosurgeon never breaking. "You told me yourself how you felt when we went to dinner. We tried to be friends, but it's too hard to act like I'm ok with seeing you with Addison."
Derek took his fists curling at his side and put them in his pockets. "So what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to choose me." The words came out in a sob, Emily feeling a hiccup well in her chest. "I want you to love me, because I think that's the reason I can't get you out of my head." Emily blinked slowly, letting the tears slip over her lashes and her vision clear. "I love you."
It killed the older man to not be able to respond. A knock sounded at Emily's bedroom door and she jumped, almost scaring Derek as she rushed around him to pull the door open.
"Emily."
Her eyes wide and her tears still falling, Emily looked up to the man standing in front of her. "Daddy?"