Chapter 10: New Beginnings
"They dub it as the trial of the century. Unkar Plutt, the CEO of the largest NGO in New York, a known humanitarian and philanthropist, stands trial today for allegedly raping a total of ten underaged orphan girls and was caught by the New York City Police Department red-handed attempting to molest another undisclosed minor."
"It would be an understatement that the man is a monster as hundreds of citizens gather in front of the New York district court in support of the victims. All claiming that Plutt is guilty."
"That is right, Claire. But if there's anyone who does not share the public's sentiment, it would be Plutt's defense counsels, the First Order's very own Kylo Ren and the Empire's Olivia Bennet."
"Sorry I have to laugh, Phil. Hiring defense attorneys from the city's two largest competing firms, not to mention make them cooperate with each other is a take away. Unkar Plutt is guilty. That man is scared. He will definitely go to jail."
"I share your sentiment, Claire. But these blood sucking lawyers may have a trick up their sleeves. Note that Kylo Ren has never lost a case in his life. They call him the new Darth Vader. And Olivia Bennet, well, she only lost to Kylo Ren. So I'm pretty sure that they won't back down from this fight."
"Oh God. Speaking of Kylo Ren, I seriously have a love-hate relationship with that man."
"How so, Claire?"
"Have you seen the New York Times lately? Have. You. Seen. It?"
"God, Claire, chill. Stop banging the table. I saw that issue: Better than Vader? Yup, I've seen it."
"I have a copy here, Phil. I don't care about the headline... have you seen that gorgeous face? It may be a recycled photo but God, looking at his serious face is delightful!"
"Urgh, it's so frustrating because how can a beautiful man like that be so unconscionable? That man is unbelievable! D'you remember a couple of years ago where he was able to set free A-list celebrity, Molly Hill, based on the fact that the alleged killer was left handed and Molly was right handed?"
"Oh, I remember that case very well, Claire. That Ren played with the law like it was a game; the justice system as a joke. It was bad case of double jeopardy. I mean, the lady is ambidextrous. All of her paparazzi pictures, her left hand is the dominant hand. Yet, nobody noticed until it was too late, double jeopardy had already set in. Now, we have a confirmed murderer out in the streets because of that monster. Yet we cannot deny the fact that he's talented in this field. Not to mention smart enough to see what other lawyers cannot see."
"That is true, Phil. Urgh, I can't believe we are actually defending him. Just the mere thought of it is disgusting. Despite that sex appeal, he's basically the most hated guy in New York! Nobody loves that man, except for guilty criminals... You know what, I don't get it, really? How can a man stomach all of this? Doesn't he have a conscience? He's a sociopath. I guess some people are just born monsters, Phil —"
Rey had to turn off the radio. She wanted to slap those radio anchors shitless. How dare them call Ben a monster. A sociopath? Huh? They don't know him like she does.
Nobody loves him except criminals? The fuck? She's right here — a person who loves him; she exists, driving her police car. They just don't know that.
The detective sighed as she stepped on the gas pedal. Today's the day. Trial for Unkar Plutt's case will start, and after that, Rey would explain — tell Ben that she loves him, hoping that it would save their relationship. She didn't want everything to end with just a one night stand. Sure, having intercourse with him was part of her fantasies but she would rather not fuck him at all, if it means that she would be able to stay by his side.
Rey nervously bit her lip, her mind trailing off to the possible consequences of her would be confession. If he accepts her love, well and good. They shall live happily ever after. And if he doesn't? Rey scratched her head. Well, at least she was able to have sex with him.
She rolled her eyes. How can she say that when she doesn't even remember anything that happened that night. Besides, whatever they did was beyond their volitions. It just sucks that she had to be drunk the first time she sprawled her legs for somebody she's head over heels with.
She sighed. She just hopes that Ben would tell her that he loves her too.
—
Rey entered the courtroom, holding Maz Kanata's hand. The trial was about to start and she just hoped that all the evidence they gathered for the past days would be enough to take Unkar Plutt down.
She did what she can. All that's left to do is to trust the DA in prosecuting the case. And Ben? She trusts her too. To do his best, to win fair and square.
Drowned in her thoughts, Rey jolted as the doors swung forcefully open, making loud banging noises. It was almost de javu because Kylo Ren marched condescendingly towards the defense's table. He was wearing an all black ensemble, which was once again, best worn in a funeral. And unlike when Rey first saw him where the paleness of his skin made him looked hauntingly attractive, today was different. Don't get her wrong, he was still dashingly sharp in that suit. A man exuding so much grace, class and finesse. But something's wrong. It would almost seem that he was a dead man walking.
Too pale, too tired looking. The bags under his eyes puffing and swelling like he hasn't slept in days. His cheeks too were sunken, the bones on his face started to protrude violently on his cheek. Can you lose so much weight in just four days?
Rey worriedly bit her lip, cussing to herself. She's supposed to be taking care of him, yet she chickened out and left him, an injured man, alone; in the company of two patrol officers from the NYPD who doesn't give two shits about his heath.
The detective turned towards Ben as he marched her way. Forget that one night stand shit, she was all too worried for his well being. "Ben!" Rey hissed quietly.
The lawyer tensed as she called out his name, but continued to walk as if he never heard Rey. A slight glance with his eye, that's what he did instead.
Rey tried to smile, but it turned into a slight frown, her eyebrows creasing in utter worry. He wasn't glancing at her, he was glaring at her. Those rage filled eyes. It was same as before. Terrifying, sharp, dark but now it's more dead than ever.
What happened?
A question that was never answered because trial was starting in a few. Rey gulped nervously. She said she trusts Ben to do his best, but Ben was never there. The soft features that she loved, those gentle black orbs — they were gone.
There was no Ben Solo. All that was present inside the court was the notorious and coldblooded defense lawyer.
—
Trial had started and it was worse than she thought. Atty. Ren ripped every prosecution witness on the stand, cross-examining them, making the prosecution look like they haven't established anything.
Maria Whitmore, Plutt's secretary, was furious. Alonzo was sweating like an pig.
And that their testimonies, as Kylo mentioned, were irrelevant. Yet he ruthlessly tore their statements down piece by piece. He made it appear that Maria had other motives, and Alonzo was incompetent. Kylo was merciless, highlighting every flaw, every mistake.
What is this?
Things got sour when the victims took the stand. He only has one point for the ten rape victims — there was consent and they were liars. Being so, rape was out of the question.
He highlighted every past, their juvenile behavior; their propensity for sexual congress.
Rey did not know what happened but Kylo made it seem that Plutt didn't initiate any lewd sexual behavior; that it was these underaged orphans were liars, money hungry women who induced Plutt to commit the act. All he did was agree.
Every objection the prosecution made was overruled. At one point, the DA just screamed that Kylo was badgering the witnesses, attacking them personally. That was sustained, but it never helped because some way, he was able to twist his words, making it appear that it was an innocent question but he was still tearing them apart.
Rey began to fidget in her seat. She clasped Maz's hand as she couldn't take it any longer. Why is Ben being like this? This is not what she meant when she asked him to take the case.
He was good alright, he was the best. But this.. this is straight up mean, evil and inhumane. There are other ways to win. Why does he have to tear these underage girls in public? Make it seem like even though their minors, they knew what they were doing; they acted with discernment; that it was their fault for being born poor and would do anything to get a good education?
This isn't fair at all. Or do they have different standards as to what fairness is? She couldn't think. Rey's mind began to spin, her head pounding trying to understand why Ben's being like this.
No girl left the stand without crying, scared shitless, screaming with conviction that whatever Kylo's trying to imply, that's not what happened. They did not initiate anything. But no matter how loud their cries were, how desperate they tried to explain, Kylo would cut them off rudely, almost maniacally in fact.
When it was Rue's turn, Rey was shaking uncontrollably.
"Rue Gonzales," Kylo started, as he paced slowly back and forth, his blood red soles peeping, his heels clicking. "Seventeen years of age..." he continued, turning towards the audience. His eyes scanned the people, most of them, stared at him disgustingly with contempt.
A small smug smirk appeared on his lips. He almost forgot how it feels to be hated by people. He got so used to Rey staring at him with those lovingly gentle hazel orbs, a sight which will never happen again because of the mistake he did. He bit his lip, vision tunneling at the detective who had a confused and distressed look plastered on her face. Her eyebrows were creasing. To him it was almost she was refraining herself from getting angry with him.
The question was why? She should hate him, after what he did to her that night. He remembered how afraid she was of him. It was best that they never talk or see each other again. He needed to push her away. It was for her sake. Rey does not need someone by her side who would disrespect her in any way. She deserves someone better than him. Anyone, but him.
Not to mention, his actions in this trial were not in any way congruent with what they talked about. Fair and square, he remember her say. But whatever he's doing was far from fair. Yet, it was the easiest way he could win and at the same time push her away. Just like what he did to his parents, his uncle, the people closest to him. The more angry Rey gets the sooner she will leave him alone. Once he's alone, he'll feel better. It will just be status quo. He'll revert back to that workaholic, medicine dependent, fucked up asshole lawyer that he is. Just like before, and that's okay. It's okay, he convinced himself.
"You mentioned a while ago that you only spent two years in Brooklyn's Shelter for Children. May I ask where you were placed before?" Kylo said as he turned his back away from the audience and Rey.
There was fake gentleness in his voice that Rey recognized. That's not how Ben sounds when he is genuinely curious or gentle. Rue was walking right in his trap. This has to stop.
"I lived with my foster dad, Raul Gonzales." Rue answered, her voice shaking.
"Raul Gonzales," Kylo brushed his lip with his hand, pretending to contemplate. "A convicted felon — heroin possession and illegal sale of a controlled substance, if I remember correctly." He continued.
"Objection, your honor. Irrelevant."
"Overruled. Proceed, counsel."
"Yes, your honor." Kylo politely said, not without a sharp tone in his voice. "Raul Gonzales, the foster father of our witness was a known drug peddler. But that's not all. The reason why the state removed Mr. Gonzales' custody of his daughter because he was forcing her to do heroin with him."
"And you got addicted to it, didn't you, Ms. Gonzales?" Ren hissed.
Rue did not answer but kept her head down.
"Ms. Gonzales got so addicted with heroin that they had to send her into rehabilitation. But you never really got rid the habit, did you, Ms. Gonzales?"
"Your honor, please. This is irrelevant. Ms. Gonzales past record has nothing to do with the case at hand. She's not the one on trial here!" The DA hissed, cutting off Ren.
"Counsel." The judge barked at Kylo. "You better prove a point."
A defiant smirk etched on Kylo's lips.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury." Kylo started again. "This is the toxicology report of Rue Gonzales at the time she was found in the hotel room during the raid made by the SVU." He said as he shook a thin bond paper in his hands before handing the file to the judge.
"Heroin in her bloodstream." Kylo mumbled.
Gasps filled the air.
"Ms. Gonzales, I would like to ask you, do you still use heroin?" Kylo remarked.
"Objection. Leading the witness." The DA barked in panic.
Attorney Ren turned to the district attorney, but his eyes unwittingly landed to Rey. She was shaking horribly. Her hands clasped together, eyes terrified of what would come next. Good. This is good. He thought. Be afraid. Hate me. Please, just hate me. But they locked eyes. Rey glanced at Kylo, her hazel orbs brimming with tears — angry tears.
Kylo jolted, his body actually taking a step back. He said he wanted Rey to be angry. But the first sight of his wish becoming a reality, he was overcome with fear and uncertainty. Deep in his heart, he knew he doesn't want Rey to hate him but why is he forcing her to?
Screw it. Mind over heart, Ben. Mind over heart.
"There are no leading questions in cross-examinations. Do I need to remind you of the rules, District Attorney Kent?" Ren snarled back, not waiting for the judge to correct the DA. His impatience at the DA's stupidity very much apparent.
Gasps and 'ohhs' reverberated in the courtroom. Rey gulped. This is beyond unprofessional. What's gotten into him?
"Atty. Ren!" The judge roared as he pounded the gavel in his hand to quiet down the noise the audience made. "You better stop this disrespectful demeanor or I'll cite you in contempt."
Kylo rolled his eyes. "Apologies, your honor."
Fuck, what is going on? He didn't know why he's getting angry all of a sudden.
"Ms. Gonzales, you mentioned in your direct examination that my client forced you to take the controlled substances, right?" He started again.
"Yes." Rue choked.
"So the heroin used in you was not yours?"
No answer.
"Ms. Gonzales." Ren hissed as he called Rue's attention. "Is the heroin yours or not?"
"It's not!" Rue finally confessed, helplessly biting her lip.
Murmurs and gasps in the audience.
Rey gritted her teeth. She cannot stand this. It's true, Rue had a grim past, she did get addicted to heroin. She peddled that stuff before, it sent her to juvi. But she was clean now. Rey saw it. How Rue struggled its withdrawal symptoms. On how she promised that she will never do anything like that again. Rey trusts her. She's not using any of that drug now!
"So the heroin found in your personal effects in the hotel, specifically your purse, is not yours?" A rhetorical question from Kylo.
"It's..." Rue was speechless. It wasn't hers. That fucking purse wasn't hers to begin with. It was lent to her by a female friend. Rue didn't know her friend did drugs too. All she wanted was to look presentable to Plutt for the scholarship grant. To look a like a decent human being!
Kylo waited for Rue to answer, but she kept silent, so he continued. "...by the way, ladies and gentlemen if I might add, that heroin on her purse is the same type of heroin found in her bloodstream."
"It doesn't change the fact that he forced me to use it!" Rue shouted at Kylo. "That purse wasn't mine, I borrowed it from a friend!"
"You didn't answer my question the first time, Ms. Gonzales." Kylo barked, blocking Rue's explanation almost instantly. "Is it because it is yours? Or is that 'friend' of yours just an afterthought?" He continued. "If I call that 'friend' here, right now, will she testify that the bag is hers?"
"She..." Rue choked. Of course her friend wouldn't risk jail time just to save her skin.
"Your honor!" The DA cried helplessly.
"I'll tell you the facts at hand, Ms. Gonzales." Kylo snarked, not minding the the DA's nonsense violent reactions. "You're an addict, and that heroin is yours."
"And if are able to lie about that magnanimous detail, how sure are we, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that this girl is not lying about everything else she testified a while ago?"
"I'm not lying!" Rue screamed, tears streaming down her face. "He forced me to take it!" Rue sobbed.
"Which part are the lies, Ms. Gonzales? Or better yet, which parts were the truth? Or was there no truth to your testimony a while ago?" Kylo pressed further. "Please, you have the opportunity to clarify." He continued.
Rue fidgeted nervously, glancing at DA Kent, hopelessly asking for assistance.
"No?" Kylo smirked. "Then I guess none of your words were true after all."
Enough! Enough of this! Rey cannot stand it any longer. She abruptly stood, but it sent her head into a dizzy spin. Was it because she hasn't sleep well in days? Or the stress of hearing the man she loves so much accusing Rue as a liar was making her head throb violently.
She cannot take this. This bickering. This lying game.
"Maz." Rey whispered as she struggled to walk. "I need some air." She huffed, chest heaving heavily.
When she reached the aisle, Rey just collapsed. She fainted, almost hitting her head on one of the benches.
"Kenobi!" Alonzo shouted.
"Rey!" Maria Whitmore panicked.
"Dear!" Maz hissed.
They said almost simultaneously. The rest of the audience gasped worriedly.
As soon as Kylo heard her name, he turned towards her direction in panic. She was there unconscious on the floor, where the police and other concerned citizens started to gather trying to wake her up.
The judge had been pounding his gavel, telling people to calm down and ordering the guards to call paramedics. But Kylo did not hear all of that. If there was any sound, it was his heart that was reverberating in his ears in panic.
He wanted to scream her name; to come to her aid. But he was frozen in shock, glancing at Plutt and Olivia who sat still, not giving two shits about Rey. They were not supposed to. Why would they care? It's the same for him. He shouldn't care because they were on opposing sides.
No.
Fuck the Empire.
Fuck the First Order.
Fuck Unkar Plutt.
Fuck them all.
Ben Solo ran. His legs started moving, red heels clicking in panic, his strides wider and wider every second. He shoved unnecessary people away, looking at Maz who looked helpless, not knowing what to do.
"Maz, where's the nearest hospital?" He asked as he carried the unconscious detective in his arms.
—
Ben sat still outside Rey's room, burying his face on his hands. He was worried sick about Rey, but does not have the courage to check on her personally.
Maz was with her inside anyway. She's safe with her there, Ben convinced himself.
Finally, the old woman exited Rey's room and sat silently beside Ben. "She's going to fine." She assured the lawyer. "Just lost a lot of electrolytes. Stress, I guess. She hasn't been sleeping well these past days... busy gathering evidence and practicing, just in case the DA finds Alonzo's testimony insufficient."
Ben sighed. He wasted Rey's effort to fight fair and square because he was too absorbed at the thought of her wanting to hate him so much.
"Did the two of you fight?" Maz Kanata suddenly said, which made Ben glance at her direction, surprised and caught off guard.
"N..o." He stuttered before looking away.
A small smile etched on the old woman's lips, not believing Kylo's words. "She's fond of you, you know." Maz whispered. "Sometimes she would tell me stories about you, the unforgiving lawyer Ben Ren." Maz chuckled at the rhyme his name made.
Ben could not help but chuckle weakly too. But he kept his head down, staring at the hospital floor.
"The scary, ill-tempered man." Maz hummed. "She says she hates you; that you're a pessimist; that you're annoying like a big spoiled child." Maz smiled again. "Yet every single time she tells me that, her eyes would light up, those hazel eyes glistening in adoration and love."
Ben this time glanced at Maz. "And I know you're fond of her too." Maz glanced back, smiling sweetly.
"Just apologize, son." She held Ben's thigh.
Ben scoffed dryly. "I'm not sure if that will work."
Maz shook her head. "Too much negativity." She said. "That lack of communication is dreadful. You have no problem talking to your clients, which are, by the way, strangers. Yet not much to the people you care about."
"You can't always guess or assume what she's thinking. Talk to her, son. You'll never know unless you try. "
"Besides, a heart that's in love can be very forgiving." The old woman stretched her arms.
"Love? Rey? In love with me? No." Ben shook his head in disbelief.
"I have lived long enough to see the same eyes in different people. I have seen her eyes." Maz smiled, cutting the lawyer off. "She loves you."
Ben attempted to open his mouth, but Maz ordered him to shut it. "You will probably say that this is nonsense. A lawyer like you who's all logic and evidence would not believe it. Eyes? They're not evidence." She smiled.
"But I've seen your eyes too. You feel the same. From the time you bought our orphanage until now. Tell me, am I wrong?"
Ben kept silent for a while. "Even if what you say is true, it's too late. Have you seen what I did in court today? Even if she did, there's no way she'll love me after that— that is completely illogical."
Maz laughed. "You really are a pessimist, Ben Solo."
"Sometimes not everything can be rationalized. Even the most illogical thing can be logical to someone." She chuckled. "Listen to your heart, son. What further confirmation do you need? Don't you feel her feelings for you?" She whispered.
"Stop lying to yourself, Ben Solo. Don't push her away."
—
Rey jolted awake. Where is she? The last thing she remembered she was in the courtroom, trying to leave.
Everything was white. She was wearing an off-white gown. The hospital? She guessed as she glanced at her hand, a needle and some mechanism attached to it. Dextrose, huh? Oh yeah, she fainted.
She sighed.
For a while, she gathered her thoughts until she remembered about the trial. "Fuck!" She shouted to herself, before scurrying in place. What if the DA needs her testimony?
What time is it? Was it already the next day? Was the trial over?
The first thing she checked was her cellphone. There were several messages, all saying the same thing. "Trial was yesterday was cancelled. It continues today."
"Today?" Shit, she can't be stuck in the hospital.
Rey tried to move. But her condition wasn't better. A slight movement made her dizzy. So she settled to staying put. She can't be a burden to Maz and everybody else.
She sighed heavily this time, staring blankly at her smartphone screen. It wasn't until a random warning sign flashed that she snapped back to reality.
'Storage almost full.' It said.
Rey scratched her chin. How? Well, whatever, she just has to delete some photos or useless videos on her phone.
Silently, the detective started tinkering her smartphone. She was surprised that there was a very recent video. But the icon was all black. Below the icon was the duration of the video.
An hour? Rey frowned. She doesn't remember taking an hour-length video. Rey clicked it, out of curiosity.
She began to watch.
"I have to document this." It was her. It was her voice. Document what exactly? She thought.
"What the actual fuck?!" She roared in surprise, her face grimacing as she covered her eyes with her free hand.
Rey peeked in between her fingers. Why is there a video of a random penis on her phone? She gasped, mortified. Not only her phone was focused on that (beautiful) dick, she was licking it?
What. The. Actual. Flying. Fuck? She was clearly drunk in this.
"Okay, that's enough." The video said.
Ben? That was Ben's voice, isn't it? Rey's palm fell on her mouth.
Holy fuck. These are the events that transpired in Ben's unit? When they had...
Shit!
She was giving Ben a blow job? What? Impossible. She doesn't know how.
Rey gulped. She has to know what happens next.
"Wait. Sorry. It's just so... big." Her voice in the video said.
"Jesus Christ, Rey!" She scolded herself out loud. "You pervert!"
"Thanks." It was Ben's voice again.
Rey chuckled. "Cocky bastard." She hissed, almost simultaneously with what she said in the video.
She gasped. Surprisingly, her drunk and sober self had the same opinion about it.
What happens next? Oh my God? Is she sucking Ben's dick? No! Oh Lord have mercy!
"Rey!" Ben's voice in the video sounded like he was caught off guard, surprised.
"I just want a taste." She said in the video.
Rey, you seductress! She hissed to herself.
Ben was cringing, well his legs that was caught on tape was cringing. "Open your mouth."
Don't open that mouth, Kenobi! She cursed at her recorded self. Nope, too late. The phone video showed that she opened wide, graciously sucking. And Ben was... he was thrusting too!
Fuck!
But he let go. Rey saw how Ben's legs disappeared from the lenses of her camera phone.
"No. I want more." Rey pleaded in the video.
Rey cringed in her hospital bed. "Good Lord, take me now!" She cried. She can no longer hide her embarrassment. She couldn't believe that she's capable of these perverted acts.
Then, the video changed perspective. She was standing up now, the focus of the camera was somewhere on Ben's chest. Then it turned black. There was nothing but the sound of lips smacking, erratic breathing and smooching sounds.
Are they kissing? Shit.
"Focus the camera properly, Rey!" She scolded her recorded self. She was so curious as to what they were doing. But as if getting mad at her drunk self would help.
Then the sound of footsteps, the camera moving. Then a soft thud.
The camera paned to the ceiling. Shit, she recognizes those lights. They are on Ben's bed?
Whaaat? Fuuck?!
Still, the smooching sounds continued. He panted, she panted. Then the sound of lips smacking again.
"Fuck." Ben suddenly said.
"What?" Rey answered in the video.
"I want to fuck you." He slurred.
"Go!" She said enthusiastically.
Well that escalated quickly. Rey couldn't help but smack herself in the forehead. Her drunk self deserves a facepalm.
At least nobody's forcing anybody. Rey sighed in relief. All this time she thought she forced Kylo to have sex with her. Turns out it was consensual.
Thank God! This sheds light to their misunderstanding. She better tell Ben stat. But the video was too enticing.
"Wait, how do we do this?" Her recorded self said.
"You haven't done this before?" Ben answered.
Silence.
I guess she was shaking her head embarrassingly at that moment.
"Shit." Ben cussed.
"Don't let that stop you." Video Rey teased.
"It won't. I'm just afraid it will hurt you." Video Ben replied.
A snort, coming from Rey. "My oh so gentle Ben Ren."
"Stop teasing me." Ben murmured embarrassingly.
"So..?" She said in the video almost impatiently. "Are we fucking or not?"
God, if only her sober self can smack her drunk self shitless. She was too honest that time. Way too honest. Not to mention way too casual.
A sigh from Ben. "Don't blame me if you're sore the next morning." He slurred.
"Okay." Rey answered, slurring. "How do we do this? She repeated.
"First things first, remove your clothes." He ordered her.
There were shuffling sounds, cracking noises. I guess she was really removing her clothes for him, Rey thought.
"Done. What's next?" She said in the video.
"Uhmm. Spread your legs?" Ben said, his tone unsure.
God. What is this? Coitus 101? They sounded like a God damn tutorial video. Rey smacked her forehead again. This time wincing, because she used the hand where the dextrose was attached.
They are really going to fuck, are they? She thought as she bit her lip.
Rey could hear herself breath nervously in the video, the camera slightly shaking.
She scoffed at her video self. Not so tough now, are you? She teased.
But video Ben nervously exhaled too.
Rey furrowed her eyebrows. Was he nervous too? A small smile crept her lips.
"Urgh." A soft groan escaped Ben's lips.
Hospital Rey's eyes widened in shock. "His wound for God's sake. Video Rey, do something! Or just stop this shit!" She scolded her recored self.
Thank God she's alone in the hospital room because she is crazy talking to herself.
"I'll do it." Video Rey whispered worriedly.
Silence. Again.
Then there was a change of angle again. How in the world her drunk self was able to clutch her phone in her hands was beyond question, because Rey saw how the camera shook, differing sights appearing on the screen: from the ceiling, to the side of the bed, to Ben Solo's fucking six pack.
Hospital Rey gulped. She was on top of him now.
Sober Rey gulped again. Is she going to ride his cock like a fucking stallion just like what BB said? Shit. You idiot, Rey thought. You do not know how to do cow girl!
"Fuuuck." Video Rey hissed. The focus of the camera was still on Ben's abs. "How is this even possible?" She said as she followed the shape of his muscles.
"I exercise." He slurred, simply stating the obvious.
"Wait, are you filming this?" Video Ben covered his abs embarrassingly, changing the topic.
Video Rey laughed. "You said it was like a science experiment!"
They are fucking dorks.
The camera landed on Ben's face. He took his gaze away, before whispering a soft 'fine' in defeat. Ben Solo was clearly drunk. The bags underneath his eyes were puffy, not to mention his eyelids were half way from closing. Not only that, he was red. So freaking red. His face, his ears, all blushing furiously. Was it because he was too drunk or was he embarrassed? Either way, he was so cute that Rey had to pause the video and stare at his overly shy face.
God, sober Rey thought. She wished she could see that kind of expression more often.
Rey bit her lip, she will just screen cap this later. In the mean time, she played the video again.
"Hurry, my erection is failing me." Video Ben pointed at his dick.
Rey could not help but blush. It was the first time he made a blatant reference to his dick. It was embarrassing her. Well, her sober self at least. Because drunk video Rey couldn't care less.
Rey heard herself panic. "Do I just sit on it?" She cried nervously.
"Yes." Drunk Ben patiently said.
"What if it breaks?" Rey mumbled.
"What are you talking about? Penises don't break. There's no bone in it." Ben slurred.
"How sure are you that I won't break it?" Video Rey was panicking. She clearly was not listening to anything that Ben said.
Oh God, this conversation is beyond ridiculous, hospital Rey thought. She's a fucking idiot. Ben's also being an idiot. They are both fucking idiots.
"My erection's gone now." Video Ben sighed.
Silence.
"Sorry." Recored Rey mumbled.
A slight chuckle coming from Ben. Then there was scurrying on the bed again.
"No, Ben... your wound." Video Rey sounded worried. They were changing positions again. The lights on the ceiling where in focus. Ben was on top of her again.
"It's okay." Video Ben said. Then a small smooch sound.
Where did that kiss land? Rey wondered.
"I'll be careful." He mumbled so gently that Rey could hear her video self moan.
"Kiss me, sweetheart." Ben whispered gently.
For a moment, sober Rey's eyes bawled out in shock. She had to pause the video, backtrack it for several seconds, replaying Ben's words. "Kiss me, sweetheart?" She mumbled. Did she hear that right?
She couldn't believe it. He called her sweetheart again. It made Rey wonder if his subconscious was translating this to his drunk self, not to mention his anesthesia induced self.
Rey gulped and waited. For sure her drunk self wasn't able to comprehend that term of endearment.
"Say it again." Video Rey whispered.
Oops. Sober Rey was wrong. Drunk Rey has more or less an idea that Ben called her that.
There was silence. Ben never repeated his words, but there were smooching sounds, low breathing, the sound of her echoing a cringe. What are they doing? Rey's curiosity was burning. If only that camera would focus properly.
Rey could hear herself groan, one that so erotic that she froze in place. God! What was video Ben doing to video Rey?
Finally, the camera angle moved. From this perspective, Rey could fully see her naked body. From her breasts all the way down to her sprawled legs and folded knees. She figured that drunk Rey may have subconsciously brought the phone towards her face, maybe covering her eyes or something.
But that's not all the lenses captured. Ben was there, his broad shoulders and his head were the only thing that the video caught. He was doing something... right in between her legs.
Sober Rey immediately covered her mouth in shock.
Another moan from her video self. Rey could see how drunk Rey was enjoying it. He was licking her, tasting her, sucking her down below. Her thighs began to shake uncontrollably, coupled by moans and groans of pleasure. She whispered his name like a prayer. Once, twice. Then another 'ahh' sound. Her hips moved, following Ben's pace at whatever he was doing.
Then Ben's arm moved, his elbows protruding outside of Rey's legs, his hands making its way towards her parts. Then a push. Rey answered the thrust with a loud exhale, like something in her exploded. Her back was beginning to arch, still calling out his name.
Finally, Ben's face popped out in between her legs. He lips that were hiding a smirk were drenched. He wiped his lips with his free hand, slowly crawling back to Rey's upper body, but leaving his other arm below. He was still thrusting his finger inside of her and Rey continued to gasp in pleasure.
"Sweetheart." He called her so seductively that both hospital Rey and video Rey cringed.
"Don't hide your face." He pleaded gently.
Sober Rey guessed right. Her video self was covering her face with her arms.
A rustling sound. Ben was snuggling and kissing her neck. Almost like he was a cat purring, wanting attention from his master. "Please." He begged.
An reluctant whimper escaped video Rey's lips. "It's embarrassing." She whispered.
"Let me see your face, sweetheart." Ben pleaded again.
Drunk Rey groaned, the camera angle changing again. She finally removed her arms from her face.
Sober Rey could not help but roll her eyes. God, this constant changing of perspective was making her dizzy. But it stood still, finally, on a single perfect angle. How and where it was placed was currently lost to the detective. Because now, she can clearly see Ben's face and hers. How close they are with each other. He was smiling as he was able to stare at her face; kissing her nose in approval.
But her drunk self moaned hard again, eyes glaring at video Ben in shock. She could see her face shudder, half of her body seemingly grinding again with the thrust his finger made.
Rey bit her lip, her free arm clinging onto the hospital sheets. She saw how intensely Ben looked at her in the video, how his black orbs gently latch onto her face as she moaned, exhaling hard as she felt the sensation of his finger inside of her.
"I want more." Video Rey pleaded.
Sober Rey gulped, clinging the hospital sheets tighter. She didn't know what got into her. She doesn't remember the feeling of the exhilarating pleasure that Ben was bringing onto her drunk self. But for some reason, she couldn't help but agree with her drunk state. "Give me more," she whispered to herself.
"You're still too tight, Rey." Ben whispered as his hand pushed deeper inside her. "You feel that?" He asked.
Feel what, exactly? Hospital Rey can only guess. She bit her lip. "Just give me what I want! God damn it!" She almost roared, impatiently. There it was again, she was feeling overly hot. Like she was watching pornography but the actors were the both of them.
"I want it, Ben." Video Rey pleaded. "It" probably was a reference to his dick.
Sober Rey bobbed her head in approval. Just give me what I want, man. She thought as she focused more on the video.
A sigh. Finally, video Ben obediently did what he was asked. He adjusted himself, positioning his lower body in between her sprawled legs. Rey could see herself shudder in anticipation, and a little bit of excitement.
"Tell me if it hurts." He whispered on her ear before planting a soft kiss on her lips.
There were rustling sounds again, quiet frisking noises of the sheets echoed through her phone. Sober Rey watched in anticipation. They are really, really, really going to fuck now, she thought.
"Ah! Ben!" That's all Rey heard. She could see her video self wince for a while, which made real time Rey wince too.
God, Ben's penis is thick and long so that really will hurt.
Ben jolted, stopping altogether. He flipped his hair away from his face before staring at Rey worriedly. "Fuck. Sorry." He said.
"It's okay." Video Rey assured him. "Is it in?"
Ben scratched his chin. "Just the tip." Ben answered.
"The tip? Fuck. It hurts." Rey finally confessed.
"Do you want me to stop?" Ben sounded like he's in panic.
"Fuck no." Rey roared. "It already hurts, so you can't stop half-way." She muttered.
Sober Rey facepalmed herself again. She was so fucking thirsty that night.
"Just distract me." Her video self said to Ben.
His eyebrows creased for a moment. "Did you know that some virgins don't experience a hymen tear... usually some women bleed, others don't" Video Ben started to explain. "But hymens really don't tear, it just stretches.
Video Rey rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant — urgh. Fuck!" She rasped for air.
"It's in." Ben gasped in victory as he kissed Rey in the forehead. "Was that a good distraction?" He chuckled.
The detective snarled, lightly tapping his chest before laughing with him. "I guess." She puffed for air. "Nerd."
Silence.
"What do we do now?" She asked innocently.
"Well, I should probably thrust?" Ben said, slightly confused.
Video Rey rolled her eyes. "I get that. But what do I do?" She pouted.
"Hmm." Ben contemplated as he adjusted himself. "You can place your hands on me, I guess?"
Video Rey just stared at his face. She then grinned, her arm flopping towards Ben's body, her hand lightly smacking his face, giving him a sloppy facepalm straight to his nose. "Like this?" She teased.
Video Ben answered her tease with a slow thrust. Back and forth, he pushed and pulled towards her. Subconsciously, Rey's hand that lay still on his face moved, planting it to his chest as she moaned. Her other free arm finally letting go of her smartphone before it latched onto his neck.
"Just like that, sweetheart." Ben whispered onto her ear, still thrusting gently.
Video Rey moaned in pleasure. The hand on Ben's chest fell to the bed, clinging into the sheets.
Sober Rey watched as the camera vibrated on its place mimicking each thrust Ben was making. Then it fell flat on the bed and there was nothing on the screen but black.
"No! No! No!" Sober Rey bit her thumb. She was cussing at her video self to get the phone back and place it to a better angle. Why did it have to fall on the most exciting part! She wanted to see what happens next.
There was nothing more but the black screen and the pleasurable sounds that the two (mostly Rey) were making. Every mumbled gasped, erotic moan, the sound of their thighs smacking together or even the just the mere creaks Ben's bed was making reverberated in the four corners of her hospital room.
Fuck. If only she could see that.
Most of the time, Rey would call out Ben's name. Sometimes the tone was like she was pleading, but more often than not, it was just a burst of pleasure that made her murmur his name.
Rey listened intently, not for her sounds but that of Ben. He would occasionally give a seductive low growl, or a heave of oxygen. At one point, there was no other noise but the sound of their lips smacking together.
But one thing was constant with Ben though. He was always checking on her. Whether it was an "are you okay?", "am I hurting you?", "am I using too much force?"
Sober Rey blushed to herself. Even in his drunken state, he was so concerned of her.
Then the her video self just moaned so fucking hard that her sober self jolted in shock. "Ben.." She began to whimper. "I think I'm cumming."
Oh fuck. Sober Rey thought.
"Wait, sweetheart. Just a little more." Ben huffed for oxygen.
"I can't. It's too much. I can't — Ben!" Rey could hear herself shudder. She just exploded with pleasure. Then there was silence, a slight squeak and a silent whimper coming from her, followed by a grunt by Ben.
Vibrations on the sheets, then drunk Rey for some reason suddenly picked up her phone do fucking document. Her drunk self is an idiot.
"Is this you?" She paned the camera on her stomach. There were trickles of red-white liquid on her stomach, which was obviously Ben's (and the blood coming from her hymen ripping) but she just got to ask.
But Ben merely chuckled. "Would you rather that I released inside you?" He teased.
Rey shook her head, taking his joke a little bit seriously. "Of course not. Would you?"
"No." Ben planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Not without your consent." He smiled.
For a while, sober Rey was relieved. At least, despite being drunk he had the notion of pulling out. Any chance of unwanted pregnancy was out of the question.
"God, we made a mess." Drunk Rey said as she panned all over the bloodied sheets.
"Tell that to my dick." Ben slurred into a snort as he stood up, pointing at his bloodied organ.
The camera panned towards Ben's body, from a far, there were traces of blood throughout his now (flaccid) penis.
"Oh God, you murdered my vagina!" Rey laughed.
"Chrzzt, chrzzt." Video Rey made walkie talkie sounds. "This is dispatch, we have a 187 at unit 3202 of the Falcon Condominiums, over." Rey chuckled, trying to report the brutal homicide of her vagina.
Ben crawled towards her, kissing her neck. "10-4, over." He answered with the same police code, controlling his laughter.
"Do you need a 10-13?" Ben asked as he planted a soft kiss on Rey's lips.
"Negative." Rey answered. "I think I can handle the suspect alone." She whispered.
"Good." Ben uttered. "'Cause we're not done yet." He lifted Rey's chin and planted a lingering kiss on her lips.
Rey reciprocated, her mouth opening, her tongue searching his mouth. And sober Rey got a full view of that.
Then Ben broke it off, for some reason. He touched her cheek, caressing it. "I love you, Rey." He whispered.
Drunk Rey momentarily froze, then she smiled. "I love you too, Ben."
The video ended with another black screen. The mirror like blackness reflecting sober Rey's face, who had her jaw wide open at hearing their sudden confession to one another.
—
Oh my God. Oh my God. She was so fucking oblivious! How can she not know that Ben's feeling the same way? All this time, everything that happened was just a big misunderstanding.
What the fuck? She's so stupid. But there's no time for regrets. All she needs now is to fix things. Maybe show Ben the video or something, so they can finally be together. This grueling tension between them was unnecessary, if only they were just honest with themselves. Well, in her case. Because Ben's not really much of an expressive guy.
Rey scowled. She can't believe that he had been hiding his feelings for her throughout this time. It doesn't matter. What's important is they fix it. To communicate. God, they suck as human beings. Why can't they just talk to each other?
Rey scurried in place. When is the earliest possible time she could talk to Ben? Oh yeah, trial continues today. It must be televised or something. After that, she would head to his unit and talk some sense into him.
Rey was feeling so pumped up that she almost clumsily dropped the remote control. But she suddenly frowned, remembering how Ben was so merciless yesterday that it stressed her out to the point that she fainted.
She sighed. The problems just keep coming and coming. Will she be able to live through it? The fact that Ben would let Unkar Plutt out of jail. Will her love for him be enough to stomach this morally wrong, and not to mention the unconscionable acts he's continuing to do?
Rey gulped. She doesn't know the answer. But for now, there's no other way but to move forward. Unnecessarily thinking would not get her anywhere.
Soon, Rey turned on the television, every news channel was tuned in to the trial. Unlike yesterday where there was a gag order from the prosecution (because you can't televise the victim minors), today, there is a full view of the courtroom and finally, the accused Unkar Plutt will be taking the stand.
The detective heaved a heavy sigh. This is it, she thought.
The direct examination looked well rehearsed. Kylo and Olivia probably thought of the questions that the DA would have asked, practicing Unkar Plutt to answer without incriminating himself. From where Rey watched, it would seem like everything was useless now. The cameras panned through the jury and they seemed really unconvinced with the point the DA was making.
When the prosecution was done, the judge asked if Ben wanted to cross-examine the witness. Of course, he shouldn't, that would be a bad strategy for the defense. But he stood, replying an obedient and calm 'yes, your honor' to the judge.
Olivia Bennet, who was sitting beside him froze. Her eyes widening in shock as she tried to grab Ben's arm to stop him, before mouthing "what are you doing?" to him.
It would seem that it was definitely not part of their plan because Unkar Plutt also fidgeted when Ben stood up.
But he strode away from the defense table, clasping one of the buttons of his coat together. There was silence among the audience, and Rey, who was watching from her hospital room could feel the tension in the air as her heart began to frantically beat inside her chest.
There was something different in him again. He looked so calm, serene. His eyes not at all terrifying.
"Mr. Plutt." Kylo started. "First things first, I really admire the effort you put in your humanitarian work." Ben paced back and forth the stand, his hands on his back.
"Sometime ago, I also bought an orphanage somewhere in Brooklyn. But unlike you who gratuitously devotes himself with helping others, my reason for buying that orphanage was rather very selfish. I was not trying to help random orphans." He scoffed almost cockily.
"That was out of the question. It was for one person, a very annoying girl. She was relentless, hard working, determined, yet all the money she earned were spent for paying the skyrocketing rents of a piece of land where her orphanage stood, and whose owner was very eager to sell the property to some mall developer." Kylo continued.
From the hospital, Rey's eyebrows creased as she listened. Annoying girl? Selling to some mall developer? Maz telling her that someone bought their orphanage? All seem to connect. Wait, Ben was the one who bought Brooklyn's Shelter for Children?
Rey couldn't contemplate longer because Ben continued to speak.
"I didn't know what got into me, really." He said as he leaned on the stand, as if casually (and cockily) talking to a friend. "Altruism is not part of my vocabulary." He continued.
"What is it that you're supposed to feel when you've helped somebody?" Ben placed his fingers on his chin, looking at Plutt for an answer.
"You feel proud." Plutt bobbed his head approvingly. "You feel content." He continued.
"Hmm." Ben mumbled. "Really?" He asked curiously. "Well, that's weird. Because truthfully I was waiting for something in return."
The camera focused on Ben's face, zooming in. Then he did something, a mannerism that Rey knew all too well. It was short, just a fraction of a second. But she saw it, his tongue reached for the side of his cheek. He was lying. When he said that he was waiting for something in return. That was bullshit.
Rey gasped. What the hell is he up to?
"That is normal." Unkar Plutt chuckled, his shoulders relaxing like he was talking casually to a friend. "Sometimes you can't help but feel that way, you know. But the fact that you just helped makes that 'you owe me' feeling go away. Next thing you know you just feel content."
Ben marched again. "Maybe we just have different standards in what contentment means. I mean, we are men of great stature and men of power. Not to mention we have authority over normal people. They are supposed to owe us."
"Because after all, I was expecting that girl to be nicer to me afterward, but no, she just became like a straight up diva." Ben said, but he did his mannerism again. He was lying again. "I don't get her to follow my wishes anymore."
Rey rolled her eyes and scoffed. Really, did he have to call her a diva? What a bad liar, she thought. If he wanted to sound more convincing, the better term is bitch.
Unkar Plutt sighed. "Tell me about it. Even some of the children I've helped are like that." The fat man shrugged.
A devious smirk to the DA, then a glance at Olivia, who's pretty much very tense right now, followed by Ben clicking his tongue. "Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Where where we?" He said pretending to contemplate. "Cross-examination, right." He said to appease his co-counsel. When Olivia relaxed, Ben talked.
"Mr. Plutt," Ben started again. "Would you explain to us the process of selecting orphans for your scholarship grant? I like you to be candid as possible. Everyone here in this courtroom, including me would like to hear how you choose them." He smiled.
"Well, it starts with Maria, my secretary. She selects them the first time, screening them based on the standards that we set in. Then I have the final say." Plutt narrated.
"And what standards are those, if you can elaborate?" Ben asked.
"Hmm. Their high school grades mostly." Plutt answered.
"That's all? No other standard? Like height, race, background?" Kylo contemplated.
"Our NGO selects the poorest of the poor. The ones that are in desperate of need." Unkar Plutt continued.
"I see. So it's either you're desperate or smart, is that right?" Ben marched.
Plutt agreed casually.
"And after the selection?"
"Maria then sets a personal meeting with me and the candidate. Like an informal interview."
"What usual questions do you ask in that informal interview?" Ben continued.
"Just the usual stuff." Plutt contemplated. "What are your dreams? What do you want to become when you grow up...?"
"Does the interview include the amount of the grant they will receive?" Ben asked.
"Yes." Plutt answered obediently.
"I see." Ben cocked his head to the side. "But then again, just a segue. Sorry. I just couldn't help but remember the annoying angry diva that I've helped. Have you encountered any stubborn grantees?" He asked curiously.
"Some. Sometimes they want a higher grant. But nothing that cannot be ultimately solved."
"How is that?" Ren asked.
"Some, I've withheld the grants altogether." Plutt answered. Very honestly in fact.
Finally. He caught the son of a bitch. What a stupid client, Ren thought. He was correct to push the buttons on Plutt's 'god-like' persona. Like he was some messiah sent from heaven who's got the obligation to save the unfortunate. There was one flaw though. Human nature. He got so addicted to that god-like complex, thinking that he could manipulate anyone around him, to have the weak and the poor bend to his wishes.
What a pathetic man. Too bad he was easy to read. What Kylo did was just to connect to that god complex of his, like they were the same. Like it was them against those ungrateful orphans.
It was too easy. Hmm, maybe he should just prosecute cases? A career change perhaps? Too farfetched to think as of now. Because what he's doing now will definitely get him disbarred, or if not, Snoke will just tear him and his possible career choices apart.
But whatever. His resolve is unbreakable now. For once, let him do the right thing. For Rey and for himself. Just like what Maz said, he needs to stop lying to himself. Stop being a pessimist for once. Believe, in love.
God that almost sounded like he's in some romantic comedy.
Ren's eyes then trailed to Olivia, the woman was sharp enough to know what he's up to. He's exposing his client down. She was holding her ground, respecting his space. But she will explode soon. Ben has to do this fast.
"Withheld?" Ben placed his hand on his chest, pretending to be shock. "But I thought —"
"Well, you have to be a little tough on them, Mr. Ren. To avoid that angry diva situation. After all, we are men of great stature." Unkar Plutt laughed.
"That is true." Ben sighed in defeat.
"Men of authority, like us, have to be stern." Plutt said with so much conviction. "They have to follow us."
Candid. Too candid. Too stupid. Too easy.
Ben cocked his head approvingly. "Ordering them around?" He continued.
"Yes!" Plutt screamed.
"Just like how you ordered these 10 orphans girls to spread their legs for you or else you'll never give them the grant?" Ben smiled.
"Exactly!" Plutt huffed with conviction.
Gasps, mummers and slithers filled the air. The man unwittingly confessed to his ugly crime.
Silence. Then Olivia shouted.
"Kylo!" Olivia screamed a second too late. "What the fuck are you doing? You'll get disbarred for this!"
But Kylo was not at all bothered by Olivia's screams. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," he continued, roaring a loud despite the commotion. "Let it be on record, that my client, Unkar Plutt, has confessed to the 10 counts of second degree rape and one count of second degree attempted rape charges brought to him by the State of New York."
He heaved a ton load of oxygen. "That would be all, your honor." He said politely, looking at the judge. "No further questions."
Ben brushed his hair with his long slender fingers. He finally did it. Oh God, he is shaking. But it feels good. He is at peace. He was content. Whatever happens after this, there's no regrets.
It took time before Plutt realized what he did. He was clearly dumbfounded, unaware, almost on a panic. He was screaming that he wanted his lawyer, but the police already handcuffed him, taking him away. Olivia Bennet glared at Ben, staring at him in disbelief, before she followed her client hastily.
The gasps continued, there was crying, there was cheering. The judge was pounding his gavel now, shouting the audience to quiet down.
Ben glanced at the audience, smiling at Maz Kanata, who was hugging a crying Rue Gonzales. The sight of justice being served was so fulfilling that his heart momentarily skipped a beat.
The old woman returned the smile. Asking him to come forth. He did, slowly walking towards the benches where Rue and Maz sat.
"I'm sorry about yesterday." He whispered as he knelt down to the crying girl and reluctantly pat her head.
Rue shook her head on Maz's chest, before she jumped towards Ben, hugging him tightly. Soon after, the ten other victims joined Rue. They crashed onto Ren simultaneously, making him lose his balance. The girls hugging and thanking him for bringing their man who assaulted them into justice. He struggled to keep up with their embrace. He chuckled lightly, seeing that even his broad arm span could not accommodate them all at once.
Ben bit his lip, trying not to get too emotional. He was so used to people hating him and this.. these young girls' gratefulness was overwhelming.
It feels so good to be loved by others. But it would be the best feeling ever if Rey would love him too.
—
Rey scurried to leave, pulling the needle attached to her away. She was fine. She's okay. She can handle herself. But Ben... Ben needs her.
He did something courageous, alright. But.. his job? What about the law and shit? If worse comes to worse, he might get disbarred. And he cares about that so much.
Fuck.
So Rey ran, dressing up in whatever clothes she wore before she got sent to the hospital, grabbing her car keys that was laying down on the side table.
She bit her lip as she drove. Where? Where could he possibly be? At his office? No. He's in trouble with that blood sucking Snoke so that's not an option.
In his condominium? Rey pressed the gas pedal further.
He wasn't there. The concierge said he hasn't been in his house for a while.
She called him, but his phone was turned off.
Fuck. Ben, where are you?
Rey turned on the radio to distract herself.
"Phil! Did you see what happened? It's really the trial of the effing century! Who would have known? Kylo Ren just dragged his client to hell."
"Oh Claire, he's the people's hero now. The man of the century. He's no Vader! He's better. To think that he was casually able to make his client confess? God, he's f— smart!"
"But wouldn't he be disbarred for that? What do you think, Phil?"
"I don't know, Claire. That's not within our control —"
Rey turned off the radio again. Where could he be? The court?
She went there but the courtroom was now empty.
Finally, after rounds and rounds of going through the streets of New York, Rey finally sighed in defeat. She'll just have to try to call him again and head home. Tomorrow. She will find him tomorrow for sure.
—
Rey dragged herself up to the floor of her apartment. Finding Ben was hopeless. Keeping his phone off and shit. What if he has another panic attack or something? Or his wound opened because of the stress. She worriedly bit. No, she can't think of any negative thoughts right now.
As she landed on the last step of the fourth floor, she saw a familiar frame by her door.
Rey sighed in relief. So he was here all along. Sitting on his ass, his long legs near his chest, his arms wrapped around them, while his forehead rested on his knees.
She shook her head and conjured a light chuckle. He will always look like a big child to her.
"Ben?" Rey whispered as she knelt near him.
A groan. He fell asleep on the floor. Ben yawned, rubbing his half closed eyes, blinking several times to adjust himself to the light. When he finally saw Rey, he grinned at her like a child.
"You win." He said happily. "You said you'll make me lose. I lost."
The detective scoffed sarcastically. "Yeah, right." She mumbled.
"Come, let's talk inside. It's freezing in here." She smiled sweetly, assisting Ben to get up.
"Wait, Rey." He tugged her shirt. "Are you feeling better?" He asked with so much concern.
She smiled, "I'm feeling perfect. You?"
Ben smiled back. "Same."
For a while there was silence. Rey prepared coffee while Ben stood near the door like a stone. He was thinking of what to say. Communication is the key, he remembered Maz say.
"Uhm, Rey." He fidgeted in place.
"Hmm?" The detective said as she poured hot coffee to a mug and gave it to him.
Talk to her. Talk to her. He convinced himself. God, he's so nervous. Here goes nothing.
"That night when we were both drunk..." He spoke, his gaze down at the black liquid inside the mug.
"It was my fault. I should have known better. I forced you into doing something that you didn't like... so, I'm sorry."
Rey merely nodded, before tinkering on her cellphone.
Ben's eyebrows creased in confusion. What does that nod mean?
"Do you forgive me? Or are you mad at me?" Clarify, Ben. Communication is the key.
Rey shrugged, flashing her phone to him.
"Fuck."
"What?"
"I want to fuck you."
"Go!"
Ben gasped. "Is that us?" His eyes bawled out in shock, his jaw dropping, cheeks turning crimson.
"Yeep." Rey answered nonchalantly, dragging the 'e' very, very generously.
Ben's jaws dropped magnanimously further that he thought it dislocated from his face. "Okay, wait. Three points: one, why do we have a video? Two: why do we have a fucking video?, and three: why in the freakin' shit do we have a video?" He cried, almost panicking.
"A science experiment." Rey shrugged.
"A what?!" Ben was so confused that he had to massage his temples in distress.
"Fuck, to think I almost pushed you away because of some stupid misunderstanding." Ben exhaled a sigh of relief. It was almost he was talking to himself.
"You tried to push me away?" Rey snarled, crossing her arms. "Is that why you were an asshole in court? Forgetting our 'fair-and-square' agreement? You wanted me to hate you so bad?" She made air quotes on the fair and square.
"I'm sorry!" Ben winced, slightly terrified of Rey. "In the first sign of conflict, my first instinct was to push people away."
"Well, don't do that again!" Rey scolded him. "You scared me to death."
Ben pouted, mumbling like a child. "You're the one's who's scary.. running off like that. You looked like you never wanted to see me again."
"Sorry." Rey sighed, apologizing. "I panicked. I thought I forced you to have sex with me. I mean, I was in your unit thinking of what lewd acts to do to you. And when we both woke up naked, I was so sure that I was the one who seduced you. God, you were injured and weak but I just gave in to the temptation."
Then there was silence.
"So, this probably never happened if we just talked to each other right? Like normal people?" Rey sighed again.
"I guess." Ben answered. "Sorry. I'm the abnormal one." He sighed. He is the one with an emotional range of a celery.
"Are you kidding? We're both abnormal." Rey rolled her eyes. "I'm the one who ran away without bothering to hear any explanation whatsoever."
Ben chuckled. "How about we compromise — we're both weirdos."
Rey chuckled with him. "Yeep. Two weirdoes."
"But seriously," Ben made a segue, grinning curiously like an idiot. "You were fantasizing about me that night?" He teased.
"Stop it, Ben Solo or I will tickle you to death." Rey warned as she grinned.
He was chuckling in disbelief. All this time, he thought he was the only one who had been imagining things with Rey.
God, talking with one another is so good. He thought as he sipped his coffee.
"So... are we good now?" Rey scratched her chin.
Ben smiled. "Come now, give me a hug." He said as he signaled Rey to come to him near the door.
"Why would I come to you? You come to me. You're the one who tried pushing me away." Rey grinned, but she was already walking towards him.
Ben sighed smirking, putting down his mug on Rey's kitchen counter. "You're the one who ran away, so you come to me." He said as he walked towards her anyway.
But they met in the middle. Ben gently took Rey's hand placing it on his waist, her head softly landing on his chest. The lawyer then spread his arms, his palm gently pressing Rey's head towards him, and his other hand cupping her waist into a firm yet gentle embrace. His chin lightly resting on top of Rey's head.
Rey could hear Ben's heart beat in a calm melody. She hummed to it, her body subconsciously swaying along with every thump it made.
The lawyer smiled silently to himself. Rey was swaying for some reason and he's no dancer. His body is stiff as a giant sequoia tree, yet he moved along with her, following the beat, all while they were wrapped in each others arms.
Ben?" Rey suddenly said, as she pressed onto his chest.
"Mmm?" He mumbled.
"What happens now?" She whispered.
The man shrugged. He knew what she was talking about. She was asking about his future, his career.
"What if you get disbarred?" She embraced him further.
He smiled at her before planting another soft kiss on her lips. "Everything will be fine, sweetheart." He whispered.
An unusual optimism coming from the most pessimistic person she knew. It should be weird. She shouldn't believe it. Yet she nodded, trusting him fully.
Whatever it was he was planning ahead, it will work. He will make it work. And she will be there by his side, supporting her man always and forever.
"I love you." Ben whispered as he pulled the detective closer, embracing her tighter. His lips kissing her forehead.
Rey looked at him with such gentleness. Her eyes scanning his face, drowning in his features that she loved so much. "I know." She smiled, before tiptoeing and planting a short, albeit sweet kiss on his lips.
"I love you too." She said, before returning her head onto his chest.
The night was silent, and the room was still. It seems like the world has stopped moving, and all that they could feel is the warmth of each others bodies, the comfort that their presence brought to one another. And that love? It brought them peace. It gave them serenity.
It was home. She was home with him. And he was home with her.
The detective drowned in his presence, at his love. Until he suddenly talked and killed it.
"Uhm, Rey." Ben suddenly said. "Can I watch that video?" He asked cutely.
"Jesus Christ, Ben!" She rolled her eyes.