Warnings: Spoilers. The Last AU. For this chapter only: implied nudity.

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Very few of us are what we seem.

—Agatha Christie—

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Kurama was a fox on a mission as he sprinted down the back alleyways of Konoha. 'It should not be far now!'

He leaped onto a trash can's lid, startling some cats and an old lady who was just trying to take out her recyclables. He was already up on the roof and gone before she could see what had startled her.

'Let's see… Goldenrod Lane… it should be coming up pass Willow Bark Avenue…' Kurama read the street signs as he passed.

"Alright then, well thank you for your time"

Kurama halted when he spotted Hinata walking out from a store. His gaze softened as his eyes fell upon her. She looked beautiful as always. What irked him though was the little gray fox that followed her from behind. What is this…?

To make matters worse, there was Sasuke Uchiha up ahead. Exchanging hushed whispers with the shop owners while dropping some coins in their hands. Kurama's ears twitched irritably. 'And what is that bastard up to now?'

He continued his way until he finally found the road he was searching for. Kurama slipped down onto the street to avoid gathering too much attention. He trotted down the lane until he finally found the apartment building that housed the Haruno family.

"Aha!" Kurama gaily eyed the balcony on the top floor that leads to Sakura Haruno's room. A sly grin came to Kurama's muzzle. "Perfect… now I just need to-"

"Oh, my! What a handsome looking fox we have here!" Cooed a high-pitched voice from above him. Kurama gave a yelp of surprise. It was a woman with scarlet painted lips and a red outfit to boot. She smiled down at him.

"Such a cute reynard with such a beautiful coat!" She scratched under his chin thinking he would love it, but Kurama felt as if small knives were scraping against his skin. "Such a cutie! Hey, cutie pie!"

Kurama resisted the urge to take a swipe at her face.

"I could just eat you up! Yes, I couuuuld!" There was a dark glint in her eyes that made his fur stand up. "But alas I have to go… I hope to run into more cute foxes like you!" She patted his head one last time before going running after some woman who was passing by.

"Bah!" Kurama huffed as tried to rid his nostrils of her scent. "Creepy woman!" he glowered under his breath.

"Excuse me, ma'am! But I presume you are Shizune Kaito?"

The dark-haired woman sent her a leery look. 'With good reason,' Kurama thought.

Shizune answered carefully, "Yes, I am Shizune. What can I do for you?"

The woman bowed politely. "It's an urgent matter. May I speak with you in private, Lady Shizune?"

"Alright…let's step into the alleyway for a moment," Shizune walked to the side of the building and the strange woman followed her with an eager smirk on her lips.

'As I said, creepy!' Kurama didn't stick around to see what came of that. He made sure he was completely alone before he began to climb up the wall.

To his luck, the sliding door was ajar when Kurama reached the balcony. He was able to squeeze inside with ease. The small bedroom was sweet smelling, well organized and pink.

It had to be here somewhere. He figured under the bed was the first place to start looking. A guess proven correct. He pulled out a small decorated box and tossed open the lid. A bunch of sentimental cards and cheesy mementos were inside it.

Kurama snorted. 'Yeah right.'

Her scent was the heaviest on this box. If she opened it frequently, it wasn't for rereading the birthday card she had gotten five years ago. Kurama nudged them out the way and ran his claw along the edges near the interlining. It was almost unnoticeable, but the top layer could be pushed back to reveal a secret compartment. Sneaky, sneaky. He yanked it out whatever was stuck in there and was graciously rewarded. Seven carefully rolled up Playgirl magazines spilled out before him.

Bloody hypocrite.

Sakura was just as perverted as everyone else. Kurama briefly glanced at the covers before him. Young men in their mid-twenties posing around like a bunch of—wait. What is that? Kurama noticed a green folder partially buried beneath July's issue. He pawed open the folder. Kurama paused when he realized those papers were medical documents. He kept reading the abbreviation of POI.

'What is that?' Kurama pawed down until the diagnosis was spelled out. Apparently, it stood for Primary Ovarian Insufficiency. Kurama wasn't completely sure what that meant but he knew what ovaries were and if they are insufficient that meant they didn't work which led to one obvious conclusion: Sakura Haruno was barren.

Kurama's claws tapped nervously against the page. He felt like he had intruded on something he should not have seen (well, besides raiding her secret porn stash that is). Kurama quickly stuck the papers back into the green folder and tucked it along with most of the playgirl magazines back into the secret compartment. Kurama grabbed two of the magazines tightly in coils of his tails and took off. Exiting from where he came.

Once alone in the private training grounds, Kurama rolled out the playgirl and yaoi magazines he managed to steal from Sakura's secret hoard. He knew the woman may notice a few issues missing but she would be too embarrassed to publicly inquire about it.

"Hmm… interesting indeed…" Kurama tapped his claw on the page.

Ironically the pages she tagged had an albino man with dark eyes and dark colored hair. All suspiciously similar to a certain Uchiha. Kurama turned the next page and low and behold a photo of the smug bastard slipped right out. Kurama shook his head. He wondered for a moment if he should tell Naruto about this but declined.

Kurama began to study the men posing in the pictures. Their looks reminded him of the Fourth Hokage. In his day, Minato was described to be a masculine beauty and considered to be very handsome by many women and men. But what was most important is what Hinata liked. She liked Naruto even though he was not considered as handsome as his father.

"Well here goes nothing…" Kurama grumbled to himself as he did the necessary hand signs.

He did his best to ignore the pain as his body shifted. His bones creaked and crack as they regenerated, lengthening and growing to his will. Most of the men in Sakura's magazine were slender but Kurama settled for a nice medium build. A sturdy frame with broad shoulders was good enough. Okay, now the facial features…

It took hours of painful reconstruction and a lot of chakra but Kurama finally managed to get the 'look' he wanted. He was pleased with the results as he posed in front of a small pond that he used as a makeshift mirror. He heavily debated if he what color hair he should have. Red hair drew unwanted attention, but it reminded Kurama of the Uzumaki clan. He overheard a lot about their culture and clan secrets while being sealed inside Mito and later Kushina. It would make sense to be a redhead and associate himself as a clansman.

Remembering how those porn stars looked in Sakura's magazine, Kurama narrowed his eyes for a more mature look. He took on Naruto's strong chin and gave himself long sideburns. Traits that he hoped would make himself look more masculine. The only foxy characteristics that remained were his fox ears and nine tails on his human form. The reddish-orange tails flowed out behind him like the train of a bride's gown.

"Hm, I can't have that around the humans…" Kurama muttered.

He focused his chakra and used hand signs to direct the last of his foxy attributes within. Slowly his tails shrunken down until they vanished. His ears became smaller and the fur dissipated until what remained to be two elfish looking human ears.

Kurama kneeled to the pond's edge to get a closer look. He had spiky red hair at the top that hung down to his neck. He ran a clawed hand over his face. Scars like whiskers were visible on his cheeks and those ruby red eyes.

"MIIIIIIRAI! THERE'S A NAKED GUY AT THE POND!" someone exclaimed suddenly. Kurama cringed and spun around. There was a small chubby girl staring at him with her round cheeks flushed with arousal rather than fear. "AND OH GOSH, HE'S HOT!"

"Oh yeah right Choyuri!" someone scoffed with disbelief. "In our super-secret training ground, we're going to find a hot, naked—HOLY BALLS!" the second female arrived.

"Told you so, Mirai!" the one named Choyuri squeaked.

Kurama was shell-shocked. This training ground was supposed to off limits to the public. "G-Go away you brats!" Kurama snarled, fumbling around for anything he could use to cover himself. The closest thing he could find was a low tree branch. "Didn't your parents teach you not to stare?!"

That snapped Mirai from her stupor. "I dunno… did yours tell you not to run around butt naked in the forest!?" she retorted.

If he ran these girls could return to the village screaming about some red-haired pervert. His reputation would be in ruins before he even had a chance! Kurama was stuck, plain and simple. Unless he would try and reason with them.

"It…It was a jutsu! I lost my clothes by trying out a new jutsu!" It was a half-truth.

Mirai snorted. "Yeah right, you're just flashing innocent children!"

"N-NO! Gah… get me some clothes damn it!" Kurama ordered.

Mirai and Choyuri gaped at him at the unexpected demand. "And why should we do that?" Mirai challenged him.

"Yeah, why?" Choyuri piped up. "You're just fine the way you are! So, are you single?"

Mirai rolled her eyes. "Choyuri! You're like seven years old and he's… I don't know, twenty? Besides, why do you want to date a pedo-flasher?!"

"I'M NOT A FLASHER!" Kurama retorted. "AND I'M MOST DEFINITELY NOT A PEDOPHILE!"

Choyuri grinned, amplifying her double chin. "I don't care, he could flash me anytime!"

"CHOYURI!" Mirai rolled her eyes. "Ugh… I got a better idea… Let's just leave him!" Mirai grabbed Choyuri by the arm and tried unsuccessfully to lug her heavyset friend away.

"NO! No! Wait!" Kurama called after them. "Get me some clothes!" he ordered again.

Mirai stopped abruptly. "Why? What's in it for us?" she demanded.

Kurama glared at the two. He had a half a mind to threaten them but decided to go a different approach. "What do you want in return?" he asked finally.

"Hmm…" Mirai rubbed her chin. "Well, it's pretty obvious you got no money…"

"I could get some…" Kurama muttered thinking about Naruto's froggie bank.

"I doubt that," Mirai scoffed.

"Then… then how about I teach you a useful jutsu?" Kurama offered.

Mirai regarded him with a raised brow of skepticism. "What can someone like you teach me?"

With his pride getting the better of him, Kurama growled. "Watch your tongue brat! When you were but a babe, I fought in and helped win the Fourth Great Shinobi War!"

Eyes fluttering wider, Mirai asked, "R-Really? You're a war veteran? So, what's your name, mister?"

The question caught Kurama off guard. "I um… I am…"

Kurama didn't want to say his real name. All shinobi knew his real name. The villagers had an idea but really didn't know. If these kids belonged to Shinobi parents, his secret would be out. Oh sage… what to say, what to say?

"M-my name is um, Amaruk…yes…" Kurama cringed as soon as the name left his lips. People had to be stupid not to figure that one out…

Mirai looked skeptic. "Ahh-ma-ruk, huh?" she sounded out his name carefully.

"Amaruk… oh wooooow!" Choyuri let out a pitched squeal that made Kurama's sensitive ears hurt. "That sounds sooo exotic!"

"Okay, Amaruk… You're Amaruk what?" Mirai pushed for the last name.

Ugh… this little brat! Kurama sneered. "Um, Amaruk… Uzumaki!" Their eyes widen when he mentioned that famous surname. "I uh… I just came to Konoha! Y-Yes, that's right! I am visiting my dear cousin, Naruto Uzumaki!"

Mirai blinked repeatedly as she computed this information. "Y-You're related to Naruto Uzumaki, the war hero?"

Kurama nodded. "Yup. On his mother's side, we're cousins!"

"Oh, wow the Uzumaki clan! Then you must really know some cool jutsu!" Mirai gushed. "Liiiiiike elemental jutsus!?"

"…maybe" Kurama hesitated. "It depends on your chakra nature. Do you know your chakra affinity?"

"I may be wind!"

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "You think, or you know?"

Mirai pouted. "Heeey, I said I think I'm wind! My father was a wind type so there's a chance I am too!"

"Far enough. But before I teach you element based jutsu you must have excellent chakra control. Can you do chakra exercises?"

Mirai had that blank look for a moment before she tried covering it up. "Uh..um… s-sure I do!"

Kurama sighed. "You really don't know the three basic chakra exercises, do you? There are ten methods in total but the big three are basic. One, tree walking, two, water walking and the third, leaf concentration-"

"Oh! Now I remember! Mama mentioned something like that!"

Kurama shook his head. "Well before I teach you a jutsu and especially an elemental based jutsu, you're going to have to master the big three or else you will fail and the jutsu can backfire on you with horrific results."

"Awww!" Mirai whined. "But I can't learn something like that in a day! You'll be long gone!"

"I won't disappear, brat-uh, I mean, Mirai, is your name, right? I'm staying in Konoha for a while so I will have plenty of time to teach you."

Mirai looked surprised. "You're really going to teach me all that?"

"Yeah. I can't do one without the other," Kurama explained patiently. "So now that I promise to tutor you as payment can you please hurry up and find me some damn clothes!?"

Mirai sent him a smirk. "Okay, Mr. Amaruk I'll go get you some clothes. Choyuri, keep watch, I'll be right back!"

Choyuri had a perverted smile on her round little face. "Oh, I'll keep watch alright…Tehehehe!"

Kurama ducked down behind a rock for a little more privacy. And just when I thought I could avoid creepy women, I get a creepy child…brr!

On the bright side, his form was physically appealing to this female. He only hoped Hinata found him to be just as handsome. It would make it easier to gain her trust and affection if she was physically attracted to him.

"Hey, Mr. Amaruk, what are these?" Choyuri held up the two porn magazines he had used earlier as a reference.

"I-I… those aren't mine!" he sputtered.

"Then why are they here-"

"TAKE THEM!" Kurama cried out. "They're yours! Just don't show them to anyone else, got it?!"

Choyuri quickly rolled them up and shoved them into her pocket. "DEAL!"

It was almost twenty minutes later before Mirai come running back into the small clearing. "Here!" She tossed Kurama some shorts and a tee shirt. Kurama's hands trembled with horror as he held up a pair of neon green shorts in his hands. "You couldn't find ANYTHING else?" He demanded.

"Hey, beggars can't be choosers!" Mirai pointed out before shrugging. "Only girls live in my household, so I got these from a neighbor."

Choyuri winked at him. "Personally, I prefer the apron for you!"

Kurama quickly slid himself into the shorts. He eyed the bright yellow shirt with a smiley face on the front with distaste but pulled it over his head. Mirai also brought Kurama sandals that were two sizes too small. Kurama waved her off. "It's okay, I can go barefoot for now. Are you ready for your first lesson, brat?"

Suddenly looking annoyed, Mirai complained. "Unfortunately, no. My mom caught me on the way back here so I gotta take a raincheck. See you, around and, oh, if you try to bail I'll make sure to spread rumors about how we really meet! Bye Amaruk-sensei!"

"And I'll come back just for the view Amaruk-sensei!" Choyuri told him.

Kurama watched them go with mixed reactions. 'Oh Sage, I think I hate kids!' he thought ruefully, feeling instantly ashamed of himself to think that, especially since he was going to be a father of two soon.

The humanoid bijuu stood up slowly. Being upright felt weird. Kurama placed one foot in front of the other. It took some effort, but he was getting the hang of it. He then went from walking to jogging and from jogging to running.

For the next two hours, Kurama worked on his motor skills. Doing jumping jacks, push-ups and even performed basic chakra exercises like the leaf concentration and tree walking. Kurama finally collapsed backward in a sweaty mess. Feeling exhausted and yet strangely exuberant.

That's when a man with a bowl cut and the biggest smile Kurama had ever seen filled his vision. "Hello! My, aren't you are most spirited good sir!"

"WHAT THE-" Kurama shot up.

"Sorry if I startled you. Nobody is usually in training ground 13 besides me at this time of the day!"

These weren't the official training grounds? He got so caught up in training his new body that he wandered out of the restricted areas without even realizing it. "Who…" Kurama paused when he remembered him. He was an old comrade of Naruto's. What was his name again? Was it Rocky?

Luckily Kurama didn't have to keep guessing because the man clad in green spoke up. "I'm Rock Lee! Konoha's beautiful green beast!"

"Right…" Kurama trailed. Beauty was not the word he would use to describe him. "…um, nice to meet you?"

"Thanks! What is your name?"

Kurama decided to stick to the same name. "Amaruk Uzumaki."

Lee paused at the surname just as the girls did before. "Beg pardon but do you happen to be related to Naruto Uzumaki?"

Kurama withheld a sigh. That was a question he was going to be kept asking A LOT. "…Yes, you can say that. I'm his cousin from his mother's side."

Lee's face lit up. "It's nice to know Naruto-kun has some family! That's something to be cherished!"

Kurama decided to play dumb. "You know my cousin?"

"Yes, we grew up together! He's a great comrade and a close friend of mine! I see you are also a ninja by the way you were practicing in this training field. May I ask from which country?"

"Um… my…my village no longer exists," Kurama replied. Hoping Lee wouldn't push for details and thankfully the man didn't. Instead, Lee nodded at him with sympathy. "Sorry to hear that…" Lee paused thoughtfully. "Is that way you came here?"

"Yes… for a new start here… to connect with someone precious, perhaps start a family of my own…" a far-off look came to Kurama's face.

"Yosh! Then let me be among the first to welcome you to Konoha, Amaruk-kun!"

Kurama nodded to him. "Thank you, Mr. Lee-"

"Please, I'm just Lee!" Kurama could see the man's impressive muscles flex beneath his tights as he clutched his fist. "Since you're out here training, I would like to join you!"

"What…" Kurama asked slowly.

Lee grinned eagerly. "I apologize for being so forward, but I want to see what you are capable of!"

'Oh, my sage!' Kurama groaned mentality but he accepted anyway.

Accepting to train with Rock Lee was a mistake to one's pride. Kurama would have won if he had been in his real form and not shrunken down to a tiny six-foot-tall man. Kurama was proud to say in ways of strength and endurance he had the upper hand, but he didn't understand how to use them properly which cost him most of the matches.

Kurama didn't know this but Lee was so excited to finally have a friendly match against someone who could keep up with him. Neji, kami rest his soul, was gone. Naruto usually was busy or made up excuses and Sasuke wouldn't even look his way.

"So, is there a girl you like already, Amaruk?" Lee asked as they exchanged blows. "You mentioned before that you would like to start a family here in Konoha!"

Kurama ducked and then swung low using his leg. Lee evaded him. "Yeah, I would like to get to know her better!"

He tried to swipe at Lee's right, but the man dodged again and retaliated with a fierce punch. Kurama managed to partially dodge it but it still grazed his ribs. Kurama hissed in pain. He jumped back and lowered himself to the ground.

"Amaruk-kun!" Lee cried in alarm.

'How do humans make hand to hand combat look so easy?' Kurama wondered to himself.

Lee kneeled beside him. "Are you alright, Amaruk? I'm sorry. I should have watched my strength!"

"No…it's alright. To be honest I haven't sparred in a while. My body is just sluggish is all…" Kurama wiped the sweat pouring down his brow.

Lee took out a spare water bottle and handed it to Kurama. "Drink up, it's clean," he said.

Kurama breathed a word of thanks before downing the entire bottle. He was a being made up of pure chakra but now in human flesh Kurama had to worry about petty things such as hunger and thirst.

Lee grinned at him. "Thanks for sparing with me, Amaruk-kun!"

Kurama waved him off. "Don't mention it. I should be thanking you. That was quite a workout."

"Say… do you want to spar with me, again? It would be nice to have a sparring partner such as you. With a man of your caliber, I can increase my own strength. We'll learn from each other!"

"Hm, alright. But I can't come every night…"

"It's okay. Just come when you're able. I train here every morning and every night except on special occasions or I happen to be away from the village on a mission!"

"I'll remember that…" Amaruk winced with pain as he rose to his feet. "I need to be going now… I'll come back in a few nights a week to train with you some more, if it's okay with you, Lee."

"Absolutely!" Lee was now facing downward doing several pushups. "See you around Amaruk-kun and once again, welcome to Konoha!"

"Thanks" Kurama shook his head with an amused smile. 'What a nut that guy is, but he's a good kind of nutty.'

That three-hour hell fest with Rock Lee was paying off already. Kurama landed with utter surety on whatever surface he jumped onto as he leaped across the rooftops. Whether it was made from metal, wood or plastic his chakra enforced feet would not let him down. Kurama paused when he smelt something lovely on the wind current.

He wasn't sure if Naruto was home yet, so he decided to make a small detour toward that tantalizing scent. Kurama slid down the metal roof and gained enough speed to sprint across the street. He landed skillfully on the apartment building adjacent to Kurenai's home. Kurama crept to the top and peeked over. It was her.

Hinata bent forward and patted the fox on its head. "Good boy," She remarked happily. For what, Kurama did not know. He let out a whine wishing he was that damnable little beast right now.

The little gray fox in response rubbed his neck against Hinata's wrist and brushed his hips against her ankles. Kurama's jaw dropped. Oh, the cheek! That little furry bastard was marking her as his own! Hinata giggled good-naturedly as she petted the fox some more, completely oblivious to it's true intent.

Kurama narrowed his scarlet eyes into slits. "I'm going to kill that fox!"

Without even realizing what he was doing, Kurama jumped down there and caught the little furry bastard by the tail. He would teach him not to fraternize with someone else's marked mate.

"W-What are you doing?!" Hinata shrieked at him.

"I-I was just-" Kurama didn't get a chance to explain himself as Hinata screamed, "Let go of that poor fox—BYAKUGAN!"

"Oh shi—GAAH!"

"Four palms!"

"WAAAAIT!"

"Eight palms!"

"OWWWW!"

"Sixteen palms!"

"STOP! SOMEONE HELP MEEEE!"

"Thirty-two palms!"

"GAAAAYAAAAA! YOU'RE HURTING MEEE!"

"Sixty-four palms!"

Kurama staggered, desperately trying to keep his human form together, but Hinata was not through yet. She jumped back and focused all her chakra into her palm before launching it directly at Kurama. "Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm!"

"NO! STOOOOOOOOOOOO-" Kurama's cries fell silent as Hinata hurled him in the sky in one shot.

Twinkle.

Hinata turned her attention back to the little fox. "Are you alright?"

The fox yelped, eyeing her warily, but Hinata misinterpreted his fear and beamed at him, making the fox even more nervous. "Oh, don't worry, I took care of that mean man!" Hinata picked him up protectively and took him inside the apartment.