I feel the need to say, I wrote this when I was pregnant. Well at least part of it I was pregnant for as I wrote it. Now, my son is singing Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are. What a cute little baby. I share I was pregnant as it was written, because I had moments in the original author notes where I was a total sap ass. There were moments where the story was very sappy as well. But this Edward needed some sap. To all of you who said please and thank you, I fell asleep last night and wasn't able to post another chapter. I will try and make up for it today.
Life Support
"Wa-what d-do you wwant to do?"
"Whatever you normally do on your days off." She looked at me with such love. It killed me to think that. After Friday night, we sat and talked. When I got to the point where my head was dizzy and I thought that I might puke, I went to typing to her, I wrote the answers to her questions. She sat at one laptop, I sat at the other. She would read what I had to say, then ask another question.
She asked me if I wanted her to type as well, but I told her no, I wanted to hear her voice. I needed to hear it.
We talked about everything from our favorite movies to our favorite flavor of ice cream.
"Wa-well, I d-don't norma-normally have people over." She had been here Saturday and Sunday and now with Monday a holiday, she was here again.
She smiled and giggled. "Well, from now on, whenever you want me, you have someone to come over."
Her smile was contagious, because I smiled right back at her. I couldn't help myself, even if I wanted to.
I wanted to tell her it was good. I wanted to tell her that made me happy. I wanted to tell her so much. Instead, I took her hand and led her to the kitchen.
"I-I kn-know I t-told yy-you," I paused to take a breath. Why couldn't I just do something nice and be able to talk normally and not make an ass of myself?
Bella took her hand and brushed my cheek. "Deep breaths and take your time."
I nodded and closed my eyes. "I k-know I told y-you that I d-didn't understand y-your lo-love of pis-pistachio ice cr-cream, but," I opened my eyes, opened the freezer and handed her a tub. "For you."
She held her hand out and took the tub. "For me?"
I nodded.
"Edward, that is amazing and unbelievably sweet of you." She took my hand in hers and squeezed it tight.
"Well, while on the topic, I have something that you just might like. Now my gift is not nearly as awesome as yours, because I am not as awesome as you," my breathing hitched, "but it's back in the other room."
She took my hand in one of hers, the tub of ice cream in the other. She stopped at the drawer with the spoons and grabbed two and led me to the living room.
"You will see why pistachio is so good today, Mr. Masen," she said as she winked at me. She set everything down on my coffee table before letting go of my hand.
I watched Bella as she went to where her purse lay on the table by the front door. Her back was to me and I couldn't help but to stare. She turned back and held something in her hand. My curiosity was piqued like a kid on Christmas, waiting to open my gifts.
"I wanted to give you this. It's just something I had sitting around the house, but I thought you should have it. It means a lot to me, just like you do."
She opened her hand and inside of her palm was a small key.
"Wh-what does it open?"
"My diary. I figured if anyone should know all my secrets it should be you. It holds my deepest, darkest, and then some. I have two keys, and I want you to have one."
Her smile was real. Priceless. I kept my breathing even. In and out.
She reached out and dropped it into my hand.
This was far better than some ice cream.
BPOV
It may have been the stupidest gift ever, but he seemed to love it. I debated giving it to him at all, but once he gave me ice cream - the ice cream that he laughed at me about just two nights earlier - I knew I had to give him something in return.
He smiled at me, wrapping his hand tightly around the key. His breathing stayed even. I had gotten better at paying attention to that. It was a good way to see what I could and couldn't say. What would excite him, or worry him, or just scare him.
I knew from a short but informative talk with Alice on Saturday morning that Edward had always been this way. It wasn't due to abuse or neglect, he just was different. He never liked people, never liked school, although he was one of the smartest in his class.
She told me he self-taught himself from sixth grade on and once he was in high school, he home schooled himself most of the time.
I had worried that something had happened to him to cause him to shy away, but once I knew it wasn't the case I pushed the limits more. I wanted to know that if I stuck around, he would learn to welcome me in more and more.
"Bella, th-this is per-perrrfect."
He reached out his other hand that wasn't around the key to take mine.
"Y-you are perrrfffect, B-bella." He pocketed the key and led me back to the couch. "Wwanna wa-watch a moovie?" He clicked on the TV and turned it to the premium channels.
After a debate of what we both viewed as good versus bad in the way of movies, we settled on 'Open Water'. It wasn't something I had seen before, but Edward told me that after watching it, I would see why he was a firm believer on not leaving the house.
Before diving into the ice cream, I managed to get Edward to agree to try it. He insisted on getting bowls for us. Either he didn't think that I would eat the whole container, or he didn't want to share my possible germs. Either way, he tried it and that's what mattered. New things are a positive.
We ate our ice cream as the movie started. I heard a light moan from Edward that told me he did now understand the pistachio love I had.
Thankfully, I finished my ice cream before the couple in the movie realized they were left for dead.
It was at that point I cuddled as close to Edward as I could without his breathing changing.
I stayed like that until the very end, after a boat went back out, and the shark was found and cut open with the camera and dive equipment inside of it.
As the credits ran, I looked at Edward; we were practically face to face. The closest I had gotten to him since Friday night when he freaked out.
"All that did was make me never want to go diving." My voice was shaky.
My heart pounded and my toes curled knowing that I was a girl, sitting next to a very attractive guy, who was slowly maybe getting over the fact that he was a guy that didn't handle having people in his personal space.
"B-b-b-bbella."
"Edward."
I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to bridge the very small gap that there was between us, but I knew better of it. Plus, I was sure he would have a heart attack if I did.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled myself away from him.
"Wh-where are you going?" he asked as I stood up.
"Nowhere, other than moving away before my feelings get the best of me."
I heard him get up, he was right behind me. I could feel him. If I took a quarter of a step back, we would be flush, my back to his front. I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be right. Just a few weeks ago he didn't let anyone touch him. This had to be too much for him.
Right?
I stepped away from him, but he moved closer.
Wrong?
"B-bella, stttop."
I stood still; he moved close, but not so close to cause us to touch.
I could hear him take a few deep breaths behind me.
"St-stay still." He walked around me, but staying right in my personal bubble.
I took a deep breath and held it. I was face to face with him and he looked torn.
"What is it?"
"B-bella," he paused, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I noticed things were easier for him when his eyes were closed. "Bella," he smiled, "I ww-want to ask you for something."
"Anything."
"I ww-want a hug."
To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was sure that my mouth was slack jawed and I looked like I had just been bitch slapped. Did he really just ask for that? The man that doesn't want to ever be touched asked for me to wrap my arms around him and hold him? Wasn't this too soon?
"Are you sure?"
He nodded. I could see the tension in his face. His lips were light and pulled taut, no color remained in them. His body was rigid, but he kept nodding.
"Okay."
I took a moment to prepare myself for the worst. He could panic, pass out, or worse. My worry was for him. I knew that he wouldn't hurt me. I knew that he would fold away within himself. That possibility alone scared me.
"You're sure? For real sure?"
He nodded again.
I nodded back, even though there was no way he would see. "Open your eyes. I want you to be expecting me; I don't want to shock you."
His eyes were open. The sea foam green eyes looked deeply into mine.
"Ready?"
"B-bella, jjjjust do it."
"Sorry."
Our eyes stayed locked, I closed the final gap between us. My arms found their way around Edward. He shook and was holding his breath, but he was okay.
"Remember to breathe."
Edward slowly moved his arms so they were wrapped around me. His hands were wide open to touch me in as many places as possible. His fingers lightly ran through the tips of my hair. He took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of my shampoo. He relaxed slightly, leaning more into me.
"You okay, Edward?"
"Mmmm," he whispered.
I let my hands move ever so slightly on his back. He sucked in a breath, but he quickly resumed his normal breathing.
We talked occasionally, never saying much. Just enough to let the other know the other was content in their location.
We stayed like this, our hands slightly moving on one another's backs until the sun started to lower in the sky. We had been there for what felt like hours, and it was Heaven on Earth. "Mmm, Edward?"
"Bella?" He said my name almost perfectly. I was jumping on the inside with excitement.
"Why do we always come together in your entry way?"
"B-because it is sp-ppecial. This is our spot."
I pulled my head from where it was rested on his shoulder. I looked to the ground. I wasn't sure, but I knew that if he said it was, then it was. My feet were where his hand once lay and his feet where his head once lay. We were again in our spot.
EPOV
Oh, this was so much better than I had imagined.
The thought had been running through my mind for days, to hug Bella. Ever since Friday when I freaked out, and I could see her looking so broken apart, I knew I needed to give more.
With Bella, I always wanted more. Ever since that first time I saw her, I knew if I was to have the chance, I wanted more.
I spread my fingers out on her back, my right hand higher so it touched her hair, the left on her lower back. The feeling of her body pressed against mine was a feeling I had never experienced. Yes, my mother had hugged me, but the feeling of hugging my mother, and the feeling of hugging Bella, were entirely different.
Hugging Bella was like hugging the sun and having warmth brought into you.
It was perfect.
She moved her hands slowly on my back and the sensations that ran through my body were intense. It was like being touched all over at once.
Part of me hated it, wanted to ask her to stop, but the other part of me loved every ounce of it. It was all of the things I never thought I wanted, rolled into one.
To be touched.
To be loved.
To be wanted.
To feel and to be felt.
To have a companion, maybe.
She was all that and more.