The crash earned quite a few looks from surrounding tables and a slight hush following the incident. Aerith quietly apologized for the glass through her haze. Her head was spinning and her heart was hammering and she was just hoping she'd heard wrong. But something told her she hadn't. Shock would've been a supreme understatement at this point. She stared at the shards of glass on the now stained tablecloth and tried to figure out what to feel. She didn't know what to do and she knew that made it worse, because she knew that when she finally did start to feel something, she would feel everything.
Cloud felt his stomach sink and he looked across the table to where Tifa sat looking shocked and intense. Part of her wanted to give them both some space but she knew she was a part of this too, it had been a betrayal on both of their parts.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" Aerith looked up at him incredulously and he could get the rest out of his mouth. Aerith felt it all coming and she tried to keep her composure, but it wasn't working. Was it something she had done? Why why why? That's what she wanted to ask, but she couldn't speak either. Her tears were thick in her throat and she resisted the urge to pinch herself. Maybe it was all just a nightmare. She couldn't imagine that he would do anything like this to her. She was hurt and feeling so many kinds of foolish. How had she not known? She felt like an outsider or some punch line in a sick joke she didn't understand.
And then she'd gone and tried to fix it, now the joke was completely on her.
"How...why would you do this?" Tifa shifted in her seat.
"I'm so sorry Aerith, I...you probably don't want to hear it." Tifa said shamefully. Aerith looked at her friend with a far off look in her eye, a ghost of the trust and warmth that always used to be there.
"No. I do." she said morosely. After a few seconds she changed her mind. "Wait, no I don't...I'm sorry. I can't." Aerith blinked back her tears. "When?" She didn't know what she wanted, she wasn't prepared for this. She couldn't have ever been.
"The night of the party." Tifa said quietly. Aerith looked back at Cloud. Did the night they spent together mean nothing to him? So soon and he'd just hopped in bed with another woman? She'd let him take something she could never get back.
"I..." she choked back a sob. "Gave you everything..." She never thought the day would come when she would regret it. Even now she was trying to pick something good out of this whole situation. But there wasn't anything. Aerith knew she had to fix this somehow, but right now she couldn't handle it. She raised a trembling arm into the air, to ask for a check and a waiter came over quickly.
"Excuse me miss, is this man bothering you?" The waiter said cheekily. Cloud shot the man a look and he immediately seemed to shrink under his gaze, fumbling for words to take it back. But before he could he was interrupted.
"Bathroom?" Tifa asked the waiter, her request a little muffled by the hand over her mouth. The waiter looked confused.
"Miss? I'm afraid I don't understand-" Tifa stood up in her urgency, looking around for the restroom.
"Bathroom?" She said louder into her palm, nausea coming up on her fast. The waiter pointed to the back and Tifa nearly knocked over everything on the table in her haste to get there. Cloud raised his eyebrows curiously and Aerith finally lost her fight to keep her composure.
Cloud asked for the check curtly, making it clear he wanted the waiter to go away and when the waiter scrambled away he tried to comfort Aerith.
He'd never felt lower in his life and he could barely look at her and her tears, knowing he was the cause. If it wasn't one thing it was another. This time it really was completely his fault. He didn't see anything he could do or say to fix any of it. But he knew running was something he just couldn't do any more.
He was always so afraid he'd mess up that he rarely took those chances and when he did they were always the wrong ones. But something had to be done. Doing nothing was no longer an option. He reached out to touch her and she flinched away. He knew it wasn't out of spite and that made it worse. He kept his hands to himself and settled for words, which had never been his strong suit.
"I'm not Zack." Cloud pushed his bangs away from his face. He heard her breath hitch and her sobs abate. "I think, who I am is a lot different." Where this was going he didn't even know. "I think this is who I am." Aerith could hardly understand at this point but what she did understand only brought more pain. Didn't he know that she knew that? She'd never expected him to be Zack. Cloud struggled with his words because he knew what he was saying without saying it. He knew that he was completely owning up to every horrible thing he'd done to two of the most important people in his life.
Getting away from Zack was also leaving him no place to hide.
"I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry." It seemed simple, just tell the truth. But what was the truth? He felt so mixed up. Aerith frowned, lifting her head up from her folded arms.
"Yes you do. All of us are hurt so why are you still walking on eggshells? Why don't you just say it? Mistakes are part of life, why are you so afraid to make them?" The check arrived and Aerith wiped her tears away, but they kept on coming. Cloud looked at her, her very frank words echoing in his head.
"We should give this time." she said in the most stable voice she could manage. She got up from the table and looked him in the eye, glassy emerald almost electric. "You should probably wait up for Tifa." she said in a strange tone. Cloud looked at the tablecloth, figuring she was telling him she wanted to be alone tonight. She left the restaurant and Cloud got a taste of what it was like to be walked away from.
A few minutes later Tifa appeared back at the table, looking horrible herself. Cloud managed to pull himself away from the chaos inside of his head to observe the woman before him. He'd never seen her look so bad, act so strangely, or get sick that often. He knew she'd been acting unlike herself for the longest and he automatically associated it with the dramatic goings on. But as she slumped in front of him he started to really become concerned. Tifa noticed him staring and looked him in the eye.
"What?" she asked tiredly.
"What's going on with you?" He asked, looking at the cake display again. She looked to the cakes and shrugged.
"Nothing." she said curtly. A long silence passed and he spared her a look and nodded. Although something told him there was something going on. But he knew things weren't the same between them and they probably never would be. If she chose not to confide in him then that was her prerogative. But as he stood up and got ready to leave the table, he couldn't help the feeling of loss. Tifa bit her lip, struggling with what to do.
Even though he'd hurt her, she still felt a love for him she couldn't deny. She still felt her heart speed up every time she looked into his eyes. Even after everything he'd done to her, he still had her under his spell. But now she was sure, that even if it was there she would just have to leave it alone. Other things needed her attention. Like her child, and her relationship with Aerith. Tifa straightened her dress. She thought about Aerith and yet she couldn't move herself to ask Cloud where she had gone. She knew something had happened and she didn't want to upset any stability that might still exist between the two. She knew she'd done enough already. Somehow she needed to talk to the flower girl though. She had to tell her how sorry she was, maybe if she was lucky, set things right.
She thought about the child in her stomach and she felt herself getting ready to fall apart again. What was she going to do? She wanted her child to know its father. She wanted Cloud to love their child. She wanted it all so badly. Everything was so screwed up already between her and Cloud. What would happen with her baby? Cloud's honesty was almost enough to make her want to be honest. To tell him she was carrying his child, but she couldn't do it.
She was afraid to know what would happen, she was uncertain and still bit angry. She had even thought about going away, so no one would know. Suddenly Tifa felt a pain behind her eyes and she brought a hand up to her face. Cloud saw and immediately sat back down, grasping her shoulders, an intense look in his eye. She looked up at him, as his face sharpened from the blur it had been about a second before.
"Tifa." he said in a serious tone, searching her face for any pain or sign of what could possibly be going on. She looked at him with wide eyes, remembering the last time his face had been so close to hers, remembering the kiss that followed. The blood rushed to her cheeks and she moved away from him, still holding her pounding head and willing the dizziness to go away.
"I'm fine." she said quickly and he put his arms down, not convinced. They sat in silence again and Tifa let the words just come out of her mouth.
"You did the right thing." She looked at him and something about her words hit him hard.
He did the right thing?
Tifa went to get up and her head started to pound again. Her skull felt like it was being split in two and her body turning to liquid. She wobbled and lost her footing, falling into something soft and just barely hearing what sounded like her name being called over and over again. Everything was going blurry and soon there was nothing but black...
Cloud held her to his body, calling her name.
"Tifa?" he called worriedly, his heart beginning to race faster as he realized she wasn't answering back. Wasting no time, he took her into his arms and ran as fast as he could to his bike.
When he got to the hospital he carried her in as fast as he could, a million horrible conclusions going through his head. The woman at the desk got to work immediately after seeing the state Tifa was in. Cloud wanted to follow her into the room, but the doctors told him he couldn't so he just sat down with his head in his hands, wondering what could possibly be happening now.
He thought of the very worst conclusion and every second that passed was torture. There was so much he had to do. This couldn't happen now.
Yuffie walked along the streets, trying to clear her head. What was going on with her friend? And if Tifa was pregnant, who exactly was the father? Even though Yuffie was a little vexed that Tifa would keep such a secret from her, she was excited for her. She smiled, frowning when she collided with someone.
"Hey! What's the big ide...Aerith?" Aerith looked up, trying to quickly clear her tears. She was embarrassed as it was, she didn't really want anyone else to know. "Are you okay?"
It took a couple of seconds to register that she had asked a stupid question. It was almost painfully obvious just by one glance that the woman was not alright. Yuffie put a hand on her shoulder and grinned her biggest in an effort to put some positivity into the situation.
"Is Cloud being a pain in the ass again?" she asked in jest. Aerith's shoulders tensed only slightly and she stayed silent, watching the concrete. Yuffie glanced at the ground just in time to see the droplets of water splash and darken the concrete.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I never say the right thing huh?" Yuffie went for a simple change of subject.
"I was supposed to meet Tifa, but I guess she forgot." They walked together and Yuffie opened an umbrella. "Looks like rain." Aerith took a deep breath.
"That's probably my fault. I asked her to meet me today at this restaurant I found." recalling it proved more difficult to handle than she thought.
"Oh, well that explains it. Ah well, maybe we can meet up later today." With that Yuffie had her phone out and was dialing her friend's number. But the voice who answered wasn't Tifa.
"Cloud?" Aerith's head snapped up as she listened to the ninja talk. "Wait, what?" Aerith saw Yuffie's face change suddenly. The phone started shaking in her hand.
"What?"
The trip to the hospital was one big blur, somewhere along the way as Yuffie dragged her along she mentioned that something was wrong with Tifa. And somehow everything she'd been thinking about moments before was pushed to the back of her mind. She moved her legs as fast as she could, seeing as that Yuffie had the bright idea to run the whole way. But it didn't really matter right now. All she could think about was that her friend was in the hospital.
When they arrived they were both a mess, out of breath and worried. They easily found the spiky head of hair across the room. They both hurried towards him.
"Cloud? What's going on?" Yuffie asked breathlessly. Aerith said nothing but waited for the answer, not able to bring herself to look him in the eye. He glanced at her somberly before turning to Yuffie.
"I don't know. They won't let me in to see her." he said gravely.
"But what happened!" Yuffie said impatiently. Cloud glared at the ninja.
"She just collapsed, I don't know anything else."he said sharply, making it clear that the topic was no longer open for discussion. Yuffie frowned, the tension between Cloud and Aerith not going unnoticed by her. Cloud slumped in his seat and held his head in his hands. Aerith sighed and observed the sad pastel blue walls.
"She'll be okay." she said quietly. "She's strong." Cloud looked up to meet her eyes and he nodded. Yuffie tapped her foot impatiently.
"I'm going to get in there." Cloud and Aerith looked at her.
"But they said-"
"Yeah, you can't go in there blah blah blah...Do I look like I care?" She marched up to the front desk and hit the bell repeatedly. "Hey, I'd like to-" Cloud and Aerith watched in mild amusement as the ninja tried to get her way. Yet they made no move to speak to each other, not ready to really confront the issue at hand.
Aerith had so many things to say to him, she wanted to ask if he'd meant it when he said he loved her, if he meant it when they'd taken that huge step together. She wanted to know if it was something she'd done, if she hadn't been there enough for him. She wanted to know how long he'd felt like this and she wondered why she hadn't seen it.
She was suddenly jerked out of her thoughts when Yuffie grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her seat.
"Sorry Cloud, I only managed to get us girls in." Yuffie smiled. "So unless you have a dress handy, I'm afraid you have to stay." She gave him a grave look, which looked pretty funny on her face. "She's gonna be alright." Yuffie said a bit forcefully. "And... We'll keep you posted." She then dragged Aerith down the hall and soon they were at the door. Aerith opened the door slowly, the gravity of the situation really weighing her down. When she stepped in and saw Tifa lying in the hospital bed, her stomach tightened into a knot. She had always admired the woman for her strength and now seeing her in the state she was in made her incredibly uneasy.
Tifa opened her eyes the second they shut the door behind them, a look of confusion in her eyes quickly followed up by panic. She remembered falling and hearing her name being called over and over again. She knew it was Cloud's face she'd seen last and she covered her face scared of what the doctors might have already revealed.
She didn't even know why she was in the hospital. Her heart sped up when she thought about the life inside of her. Was her baby okay? Aerith was by her side, holding her hand and Yuffie was on the other grinning away.
"Do you all know?" She asked in a pained voice. Yuffie nodded her head.
"Yeah, I can't believe you're pregnant!" Aerith was struck breathless and Tifa looked at her.
"You're what?" Aerith continued to pale. Tifa blinked.
"You...you didn't know?" Aerith looked at Tifa, her face a ghostly white.
"I...no..." she rasped. Aerith swallowed, feeling the need to sit down. Tifa was pregnant? What did this mean for her and Cloud? Was this another secret they were keeping from her? Tifa looked over to Yuffie.
"How did you know?" Tifa asked weakly.
"I was kinda searching for you, you know because we had that shopping date today...I looked for you and I..um...found something else." Yuffie looked between the two women. "I thought Aerith knew. She said you two met today, I thought you told her..." Yuffie smiled.
"Why are you all so sad? This is great news! Who's the lucky guy?"
Tifa raked her hands through her hair.
"Oh God." then the tears started up again. "Does Cloud know...oh god...he can't, not now..." Aerith narrowed her eyes.
"Cloud doesn't know?" Yuffie's eyes were about the size of tennis balls. Everything was coming together.
"No...no way.." Yuffie said disbelievingly. Tifa started to sob.
"Cloud doesn't know?" Aerith said taking both of Tifa's hands.
"I...no he doesn't...didn't want to...ruin everything...I already have...I'm so sorry, I never wanted it to be like this...I'm sorry Aerith, so sorry...you have to-" Aerith watched her friend nearly crumble before her eyes. And knowing what she knew now brought a whole new spin to it all. She couldn't bring herself to be angry at the woman at this point, there were bigger things at hand. Like, the child she was carrying and the state Tifa was in. Aerith pulled her into a hug.
"Don't worry about it now, okay?" Aerith couldn't imagine how Tifa must be feeling and was sympathetic and a bit apprehensive about what would happen if Cloud found out. "I'm here for you." Tifa tried to recollect herself. She thought about her baby, hoping nothing was wrong.
"I don't know what happened. My baby..."
Yuffie still stood still, mouth agape and eyes staring in disbelief. Where the hell was she while all of this was happening? What in the hell was happening? This had to be a dream. Just then a doctor walked in, regarding them all with a curious look. Aerith moved forward, looking the man in the eye.
"Is the baby okay?"
(A/N : So at this point everything is a mess. I hope I got that across alright. I wanted it to almost be like a rollercoaster. But at some point expect the story to slow down a bit to deal with the loose ends. This chapter was for the individual characters mostly, so later chapters will most likely get into how everyone will get together and work it out. That should be interesting to write. I hope I handled the characters alright too. I swear, I don't know where all this drama is coming from...Till next time and thank you all for your reviews!)