Author's Note: I am back. Officially. School is over (I just have exams now) and I have a ton of time to write. This is just the first update of many to come.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. I do not profit from this story.

Winging It

(Or How a Half-Demon Ruled the Underworld One Smirk at a Time)

Chapter Ten: Of Smirks and Stripteases

Inuyasha came back slowly, head lolling against his shoulder as he tried to wake up. It was harder than it would normally be; his eyes were too heavy, body too languid. It took a long moment for him to finally realize he was sitting and not lying down. His neck was killing him and it was with a twinge of pain that the half-demon finally opened his eyes. "Wha–?"

"It's okay babycakes," Naraku said instantly. He couldn't actually see the fortune teller's face but his hands were waving around. Inuyasha knew they were his because of the black nail polish. "I saved you."

Inuyasha blinked, taking his time examining where he was. It was an office – Kagome's office. It was back to the accented, metallic look. "What are we doing here?" He was trying to remember but it was coming back slowly, sluggishly. "Did I shoot something?"

"Many somethings," Naraku corrected. "We were out shooting Dementors when their mother appeared. You were cursed."

For a long moment, the half-demon thought he heard wrong. When Naraku just continued to look at him timidly, Inuyasha finally gave up. "Excuse me?"

"Cursed." The distinctly feminine voice came from behind and Inuyasha turned his head far too sharply. The crack he felt was borderline excruciating. "You pissed off a Dementia and ended up cursed, you moron. I tell you to be good and what happens? This happens." Kagome rolled her eyes.

"It was my fault," Naraku interjected, looking rather sheepish. "He needed a good time–"

"Shooting Dementors is your idea of a good time?" the Neutral asked incredulously. "No, you know what? Don't even. Ah!" She pointed at the fortune teller sternly when it looked like he was about to speak some more. "Shut up. I don't–! Shut up, Naraku."

Inuyasha's mind was possibly exploding. "Can someone please tell me what the flying fuck is going on?" He asked that question far too much. "What do you mean I'm cursed?"

"As in you're Sleeping Beauty cursed to sleep until true love's first kiss comes," Naraku answered, grinning. "That kind of curse. And you know what? I can actually say that–"

"I will castrate you." Kagome levelled her deadly glare in the fortune teller's direction.

"You kissed me," Inuyasha stated, somewhat dumbly. Kagome had kissed him and he had been mostly too looped out to really enjoy it.

Well damn.

"You were heading towards actually losing your mind," Kagome explained rather briskly, eyes studiously avoiding him. "It's the first part to a Dementia's curse. If you don't make it past the first sixty minutes, you go insane as well as suffer from whatever curse they put on you."

"And a kiss fixes it?"

Naraku shrugged. "I offered to but Kagome beat me to it. You're still cursed, but you won't be going insane along with it."

Fan-fucking-tastic. Inuyasha wasn't extremely bitter, not really. He was now just cursed, almost died due to hellish insanity and had been too messed up to revel in the fact that Kagome kissed him. She was hot enough and he really wouldn't have minded if that whole thing got repeated. Inuyasha smirked, if only.

"I can still kiss you if you want."

Inuyasha's smirk didn't diminish, although his left eye kind of twitched. "Go stand in a corner until you cool off." He was extremely surprised when Naraku narrowed his eyes but listened, heading over to a small place in Kagome's office where her filing cabinet impeded the corner spot. It was close enough though, Inuyasha guessed, though why Naraku actually felt to listen to him for once was beyond the half-demon.

Kagome's sigh drew his attention, golden eyes heading towards her big leather chair. "Do you have any idea what this curse is?"

"No," Inuyasha replied, shrugging. "She was just chanting these weird words and then it all just kind of went away. I don't know what happened."

"Well what were you doing then, at that exact moment?"

How was he even supposed to remember? "Shooting at it?"

"Not true!" Naraku yelled. "You were too busy smirking and asking what the hell she was blabbing about."

"Well it's not like you were helpful!"

"Boys," Kagome snapped, rubbing at her face. "Can you please stop? This isn't helping."

"Why can't we just leave it alone?" Inuyasha asked. "I'm still in Hell so really, what's a curse going to do for me?"

"It's going to look bad to the Board of Directors for Heaven, that's what," Kagome pointed out. "You still have a while before it gets reviewed, but anything you do is going to be taken a careful look at. As your Neutral, I'm annoyed by you."

Inuyasha glared at Naraku. "This is your fault."

"Don't get your panties in a twist," Naraku commented flippantly. "We'll figure it out. I bet I'll even have a vision about it!"

"Oh god no," the half-demon groaned. "Not another vision. I'm still recovering from the last one. Waking up in the Play Room of Miroku and Sango's was disturbing to say the least."

"Just wait until you see inside the closet," Kagome added solemnly. Standing up, she made her way around the desk to sit on it, staring at Inuyasha. "Your eyes will be burning. Spontaneous combustion is a serious concern."

"It's not that bad." Naraku sniffed disdainfully. "Just because you're a prude."

"I'm not a prude," Kagome replied, rolling her eyes. "Far from it."

The fortune teller smiled, far too pleased with the statement. "I don't see you doing a striptease at all." He jerked his thumb in the half-demon's direction. "You already kissed him so why not?"

"Get the hell out of my office," Kagome replied, shaking her head. "I swear you are the biggest pain in my ass. To actually say that–"

"Striptease!" Naraku chanted. "Striptease! Striptease!"

Inuyasha smirked. "Yeah, striptease, it's really no trouble for me. And while I question Naraku's opinion on the matter, I don't think he'd mind either."

For a second, Kagome's grip tightened on the desk. She blinked, her face crumpling a bit before she stood up and started…undoing the buttons on her suit jacket.

Slowly.

Seductively.

It was Inuyasha's turn to blink because holy crap, this was happening.

"Stop me!" Kagome yelled, looking at the half-demon and the fortune teller with something akin to horror. "I feel compelled to striptease and I don't know why. Inuyasha, what did you do?"

"What did I do? I didn't do anything!" He felt somewhat indignant by the accusation, but he wasn't really complaining about the outcome. Her suit jacket was thrown somewhere behind her, the buttons of her blouse now almost completely undone. To Inuyasha's great disappointment, she had a tank top on underneath.

Well, if she felt compelled, maybe that would come off to.

Kagome rolled her hips and Naraku started off in a fit of giggles. "This isn't funny!" she snapped. "I don't want to do this!"

"You think it's the curse?" Naraku asked, coming from his spot in the corner. "Inuyasha, what are you thinking about right now?"

"I don't know!" Inuyasha yelled. He couldn't really take his golden eyes off the fact that the tank top was coming off and…

He really wasn't thinking about much of anything right now.

"Tell me to stop!" Kagome yelled. "Tell me or I swear to god I am going to stab you with so many knives and pencils that it will take you thirty years just to fish them all out and I will punish you to Hell for eternity. For eternity!"

That got his attention. "Stop."

Okay, so maybe he wasn't that forceful in his order. He didn't actually want her to stop. If he was honest with himself, he was a bit disappointed this wasn't a private showing. Inuyasha smirked.

"It's not working." Kagome's hands slid down her body, resting on her jeans. Another roll of the hips and Inuyasha thought maybe he should go to the bathroom because this was going to get embarrassing really fast.

"Try again," Naraku said, his hands grabbing at Kagome's wrists to stop her. It totally didn't help, because she just moved around him like he was her own personal dance pole. Or her own personal makeup artist. He had the blue eye shadow for it anyways.

"Stop," Inuyasha repeated, really not meaning it. He had to go to the bathroom though, like now, because even if she did stop it wasn't going to end well.

Kagome froze, looking at Naraku with horror. "I'm not stripping anymore."

Naraku looked at Inuyasha then, narrowing his eyes. "There was only one difference between the two times he asked you to stop. Holy crap, beautiful, I think Inuyasha can order people around with a smirk."

Carefully folding his arms over his lap, Inuyasha tried to look nonchalant. It wasn't working, if by the way Naraku's eyed him was any indication. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Tell me to do something and smirk when doing it," Naraku said. He looked giddy, eyes bright with excitement. He was possibly getting off on this crap.

Inuyasha shrugged. "Uh, jump up and down ten times."

"With a smirk, baby, come on," he whined. "Do that sexy smirk thing."

Trying not to cringe instead of do what was asked, Inuyasha repeated his order. Suddenly, Naraku started to do it, gasping all the while. He looked like a kid on Christmas, which was absolutely fucking nuts.

"Son of a bitch," Kagome murmured, tugging her tank top back on as dignified as she could make it. "Naraku, tell me you're not just doing that for fun." Her suit jacket was next, and Inuyasha couldn't help but think she was putting it back on like armour.

The fortune teller bit his lip, a smile curling on his face. "This is…awesome!" He finished the ten jumps and then stopped, running to Inuyasha's side. "You can control minds! That's your curse! YES!"

"That's a curse?" Inuyasha thought maybe everyone was on crack. "How is that something to be upset about? I can Darth Vader the shit out of people."

"Ever hear about King Midas?" Kagome asked, raising a brow. "A Dementia's curse isn't something to be proud of. It'll get you killed for sure."

This again. Why the hell did everything end up with some form of death? Maybe it was because they were in Hell but really, there was only so much he could handle. Could you die? Could you not? Would someone just make up their goddamn fucking mind? "But I'm already dead!"

"No, like really dead," Kagome replied, raising a brow. "You simply won't exist–"

Naraku ran over and slapped a hand over her mouth. "She's a buzzkill. Inuyasha, sweetie, think of the possibilities." The grin on his face was creepy it was so big. "Ruler of Hell doesn't seem too hard, now, does it?"

And Inuyasha? Well, he couldn't exactly think about anything other than Kagome doing a striptease. Yeah, he was still stuck there.

He really, really needed to go to a bathroom.

Comments to Acknowledge:

Ladybug: Wow thank you so much! I'm glad you like the characters - I enjoy writing them! (Sorry I can't write your full penname; FanFiction always deletes it so I just left it at this).

EndlessIdeas: Thank you :D The award was definitely a surprise but I'm glad for it!

CookieThief: I'm happy you thought it was funny! I generally don't think I am :) Thank you!

Feedback is really appreciated. I won't be MIA for a long while now, promise.