Two months later
When we received the news that Soda was, as he called it, "in country," none of us knew quite how to react. Pony called me when he got the letter, and I stopped by Darry's that afternoon. That was the most upset and worried I had ever seen him, and I ended up staying for dinner that night because he was too upset to be alone. Chris understood and even took to writing his own letters to Soda so he would get more mail. Things reached an uneasy peace. Then I made one of the best and worst decisions of my life.
I stopped by for a normal visit to the Curtis home on October 21st. I never expected that to be the day that would change all of our lives. I never expected any of it.
Darry and I were sitting in the kitchen drinking black coffee and talking about Pony's progress at school when the doorbell rang. It was only 4:30 in the afternoon, and we looked at each other in confusion. He shrugged and got to his feet, the chair scraping against the floor.
"Stay here," he said, as I, too, started to stand. "It can't be anything. I'll be right back."
I had half-risen from my chair, but I lowered myself back down again, slightly uneasy. In all the times I'd now been here, no one had ever rung the doorbell. This isn't exactly the kind of neighborhood where kids sell candy door-to-door. I took a sip of my coffee and realized that I hadn't heard a sound from the living room. That was stranger than anything else, so I got hesitantly to my feet and walked into the doorway. What I saw froze me in my tracks.
Two soldiers were walking down the front steps. They'd obviously just said something to Darry because he had his head in the crook of his arm, and he was leaning into the doorframe. I just stood there, the words stuck in my throat. If I spoke, he might turn to me, and if he turned to me, I would see his eyes, and if I could see his eyes… then I might know something I never wanted to know.
But he heard my breathing, and slowly, he took his arm down. Before he turned to me, though, he closed the door. That's when I started to shake.
By the time he finally looked at me, there was no need for words. I knew what he had to tell me as plainly as if I'd been in the room to hear it from the soldiers.
"He's not just M.I.A., is he," I whispered, but it wasn't a question.
He shook his head, and his eyes filled with tears. His lower lip started to tremble, and he bit it, but the tears overflowed anyway, and I opened my arms. He stumbled forward with a sob, and as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, I held on as hard as I could.
When his tears finally spent themselves, we sat on the couch, and he rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands.
"Thanks for being here," he mumbled, and I squeezed his shoulder.
"Of course," I tried to say firmly, but the words caught in my throat. I felt like I was choking, but I tried to take deep breaths. Darry didn't need this from me right now. He needed me to be strong. He needed me to be there for him. I couldn't give into this now … but I didn't have much of a choice.
He heard it in my voice, and he turned and put his arms around me. I buried my face in his shoulder, and he hugged me tightly as the tears poured out. It took me a few minutes of deep breathing to get myself back under control, and when I did, I pulled back to look at Darry, and I knew what he was thinking the moment I looked into his eyes:
How on earth was he ever going to tell Pony…