Ahah! So I'm beginning to get better with my updates after all! :D! HOLY CRAP ITS ALREADY CHAPTER 10?!

Alrighty, so first of all, I wanted to say a big big BIG thank you to all of my followers (you know who you are) and say that I love you all for sticking with me through this crap.

Second of all, because I want to know your opinion on where this story's going to go, I'm going to start a contest like-thingy-ish-kinda-sorta for you guys to have an input on something you want me to put in the story. I'll leave the info at the bottom of the chapter :)

okay, I'll leave you to the story! Remember to please review (and you'll want to this time because of the contest-ish-like-thingy) Enjoy, my lovelies!

~Alice

"How are you feeling today, Lovino?" A man with a bright smile asked politely as he walked into the white room. Lovino snorted in response, rolling his hazel eyes.

"How the hell do you think I feel? I'm fucking all by myself in this fucking room with nothing to do but think!" He growled angrily. The man chuckled, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm sure it must be lonesome. But I believe they're only doing it so you can reflect on everything that's happened." He explained calmly, taking a seat on his bed as he eyed the italian. Lovino sat in the center of the room, his head hung low and his face covered by his hair. His legs were crossed and his hands gripped at his ankles.

"Why the fuck would I want to do that?" He spat.

"Maybe so you can think about why you acted the way you did." He said in a calm but cold tone. Lovino finally looked up to meet the man's gaze and grinned darkly.

"Because I'm insane. Or at least, that's what everyone else seems to think isn't it? Isn't that why I'm here? Because I'm insane?" The stranger shook his head.

"You might be, but that's not why you're here. You're here because we want to help you." Another snort escaped the italian.

"I don't want your damn help, doctor." He said.

"Well, we're going to help you anyways. You're going to be here until you're a less violent and unstable person, Lovino."

"Well then I guess I'm going to be here for a long time." The doctor sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I don't need your pity." He shot back. "What the hell do you want anyway?"

"I wanted to show you something, er- rather someone." The doctor said, standing back up. Lovino only rolled his eyes again.

"If you're going to try to get me to talk to one of your counselors, I'm not going. I don't want your fucking therapy." He said through his teeth.

"No, we're not going to a counselor. She's another patient here."

"I thought I wasn't 'allowed to interact with anyone' yet?" He said in a mocking tone.

"You wont be interacting with her, just listening. She's about to speak with one of our counselors right now. She's in a very similar situation as you, so I thought maybe seeing someone else act like you do might... Change your attitude a bit." Lovino grunted as he looked back down at the ground.

"I don't have much of a choice do I?"

"If you want to see it that way, then no you don't." Lovino sighed, forcing himself on his feet.

"Anything to get me out of this goddamned room I suppose." He said, faking enthusiasm. When the doctor grabbed his arm to lead the way, the italian ripped his arm from his grasp.

"Don't fucking touch me. I'm not going to go anywhere..." He mumbled. The doctor smiled as he opened the door.

"I'm glad to see you're being cooperative."

"I'm already in a shitty situation. It's not like I want you to put me somewhere worse. If there even is somewhere worse."

"The most run down, atrocious, unsatisfactory jail in Germany." The doctor offered, and Lovino smirked.

"Isn't that where I was before?"

"You want to find out?" He shot back in a threatening tone. Lovino shut his mouth, his eyes wide.

"Exactly."

"Whatever, just show me where this fucking bitch is." Ignoring the man's foul mouth, the doctor led him down a series of unfamiliar hallways. Lovino had no idea where he was going. The entire time he had been here, he had been kept in that room. That room reminded him a lot of the one he was in back at the jail. Except this one was slightly less harsh. Instead of concrete floors, they were made of clean, pristine white tiles. Sometimes he wanted to slit his arm to get a little blood on the ground, just so he could see something on the ground, some sort of walls were painted completely white, and he even had a small little window he liked to look out. The only thing he could see were trees, but at night he liked to sit on the bed that he had moved to that wall and stare at the moon. It would calm him down when he had violent outbursts.

Sometimes just the silence alone was enough to enrage Lovino. He would flip over his bed while screaming like a mad-man, or slam his body repeatedly against the door or walls. Sometimes he would slam his fists on the metal door and holler at whomever he thought might hear him, cursing them in his native tongue. If it ever got too bad, a nurse would come in and pin him down to sedate him. He hated this place. He hated it so damn much. But he was glad he wasn't in that damn jail anymore, tied up and blindfolded while Toris came and fed him liquid shit. Here they at least fed him decent food, and didn't shove it down his throat.

"Alright, now I need you to be quiet when we're in here, alright? She doesn't know that we're here, and I don't want to interrupt her, alright? Anything could set her off, so please stay quiet."

"Tch." Lovino rolled his eyes as the doctor opened the door and led him into another room. He was surprised when he saw the thin rectangular room, a darkened window in front of them as well as another nurse already waiting there. The doctor shut the door quietly behind them and brought him over to the window.

"It's a one way window." He whispered. "She cant see us." Lovino peered through the window, spotting the young blonde woman who sprawled out on one of the couches, a counselor on the couch parallel to her.

"Now, Ms. Arlovskaya," The counselor began. "I presume you know why I'm here."

"That's the thing. I don't care vhy you're here." She teased in her thick russian accent. Lovino raised an eyebrow at her attitude. The doctor was right, she was a lot like him.

"Now, now, Natalya, please be cooperative. Remember, we're only trying to help."

"Vhatever you say..." She mumbled, resting her chin on her knuckles.

"Now, regarding your eldest brother Ivan, tell me about him."

"Big brother? Vhat is it you vant me to say about him?"

"Well, do you like your brother?"

"Yes! I love my brother!" A smile grew wide on her lips as she spoke. "Big brother is strong and handsome, and is always so kind to everyone."

"So tell me this, if you love your brother so much, why did you do what you did to him."

"Vhy vhatever to you mean? I did nothing wrong."

"You tied him to a bed and used him for sexual pleasure and cut him in several places. He almost bled to death, Natalya. Did you know he still has scars from that?" Natalya's smile grew as she gasped, clapping excitedly.

"Oh really? Vonderful!"

"How can you say that? You caused your brother a lot of pain. You almost killed him!" Her smile fell.

"I only wanted to mark him as mine. No one else can have him. He is mine and only mine. If anyone else were to touch him I would kill them. So I... Made him unwantable by anyone else. Only I will love him. Only I can love him now." Her tone darkened dangerously. The counselor sighed.

"And you don't think that there's anything wrong with that?"

"Of course not! I was just showing everyone that he is mine." She explained, her smile returning. Lovino scowled.

"She is insane." He mumbled under his breath. The doctor raised a brow, glancing over at the italian whom was crossing his arms.

"You think so?"

"Yeah... This bitch is crazy." The doctor grunted, and pointed his thumb to the door, signaling it was time for them to leave. Lovino took the hint and followed him out and back towards his room.

"Going back already? Can't we go somewhere else?" He whined. He was so tired of being cramped in that damned room... But the doctor shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but until I can trust that you're stable enough for me to let you interact with other people, we cant go anywhere but private places. I can take you to my office, but that's it."

"Then lets go to your office." He grumbled, ignoring the fact that despite that he hadn't run away yet, the doctor didn't trust him.

"Alright, if that's what you want." He led Lovino in a different direction then where he was going, turning into a hallway filled with metal doors. He looked at all of them, curious as to know if they were more rooms that held more patients. He flinched when he heard a scream echo through the hallway, his eyes widening as he saw a group of nurses running to open one of the doors. Before they could even touch the handle after unlocking it, the door flew open and a body dashed out quickly. The group of men ran after who ever it was that was dashing down the hallway. Lovino realized it was a young girl as she ran towards him in a panic.

"Lili! Get back here!" The men screamed after her. The girl ignored them as she kept running, tears streaming down her face.

"I heard him! " She cried frantically. But as she ran, she wasn't watching where she was running.

"Hey, look ou- oof!" Lovino grunted as her body collided with his, knocking them both to the floor, him falling directly on his back.. She gripped at his shirt frantically, as if she thought he would protect her from danger. Lovino couldn't move, the fall knocking the wind out of him.

"I found you! Help me! They want to take me away! Don't let them put me back in there!" She cried in a panic, burying her face in his white shirt. Within seconds, the nurses grabbed her and were pulling her off. "Noo!" She screamed, flailing her body wildly trying to shake off their grip. They dragged her back into her room, screaming curses and profanities as they did so.

Lovino blinked a few times. He was so confused... What had just happened? It had all happened so fast... The doctor held his hand out to help the italian up from the floor, but Lovino only scoffed and pushed himself up back onto his feet.

"Who the hell-"

"That was Lili Zwingli, another patient here-"

"Obviously." Lovino interrupted.

"She's a schizophrenic here, and talks a lot about "seeing" and "hearing" her older brother, Vash, who's been missing for two years now. It really took a toll on her mind, Vash was all she had. Anyways, I'm sorry about that, sometimes she confuses other men for him. Shall we continue to my office?"

"Whatever. Just hurry the hell up, I don't want to run into any other whackos." The doctor chuckled and began walking again, Lovino following close behind. Within a minute, he finally approached a door, key in hand, and unlocked it.

"Please take a seat."

"I was going to." Lovino huffed, sitting down on one of the two couches. He looked around the room, glad he was here instead of his "room", though his room was more like a comfortable cell. This room, however, had a cozy feel to it. The walls were painted a deep red, old fashioned designed paintings and furniture decorated the room. Lovino raised an eyebrow. This reminded him of a therapists office his parents had "encouraged" him to see back when they were alive. He cringed at the memory. They wanted him to go because they thought it would help him get over and forget his... Unfortunate incident.

"Now, Lovino." The doctor began, grabbing a notebook and pen before sitting down in front of him. Lovino's lips curled into a scowl.

"I told you I wasn't going to do any of your fucking therapy lessons, asshole."

"Now, now, you're the one who wanted to come to my office, no?"

"Not to talk, to fucking stay out of that room."

"I see. But, because you're here anyways, I wanted to ask you a few questions about what you saw."

"With that crazy russian bitch?"

"Please don't refer to her as that, Lovino. She has a name. Her name is Natalya Arlovskaya, and please refer to her as such."

"I'll call her whatever the fuck I want." He growled. The doctor sighed, shaking his head, letting it go.

"Anyway, tell me what you saw."

"I saw a crazy bitch who was overly obsessed with her older brother."

"Do you remember what her counselor said to her? What she did?" Lovino shrugged.

"Somethin' 'bout raping him and cutting him?"

"That's right. But maybe you don't know how badly she did it. What she did almost cost him his life. You want to see what he looked like when the police found him?"

"Not really." Lovino replied quickly.

"Too bad. Look at these-" He began, standing up to fumble through one of the drawers on his desk. After a few seconds, he pulled out a group of pictures. Lovino's hazel orbs rolled before taking one of the photographs into his hand. He froze instantly, looking over the sight. In the picture, a man was tied to a bed with his hands bound together by a thick, low quality rope, while his legs were being pulled apart by a hand that was visible from the bottom corner. He was gagged, and tears were streaming from his eyes. His crotch was blurred out, he assumed was intentional by the police. The picture reminded him so much of-... No, he wouldn't think about that.

"This was a picture they had found of him that apparently she had taken herself. Look at the next one." The doctor ordered, taking the one from him. The next photo made Lovino's stomach churn. The man was covered in his own blood on the bed, but had at least been untied. He looked as if he was screaming in pain with his eyes squeezed to tightly shut and his back arched, the sheets under him were all soaked red and dyed with blood.

"I don't want to see anymore." Lovino growled, shoving the picture back to the doctor.

"Look at one more." He said deeply in his ear, holding up one last photo. The man was in a hospital bed at last, covered in bandages. There was an oxygen mask strapped to his face and several tubes were attached to his wrist.

"Why are you showing me these?" Lovino asked irritatedly. The doctor huffed, walking around to sit back on his couch.

"I wanted you to see this situation as an outsider. I wanted to know your feelings about Natalya and her brother after seeing these pictures of what happened to him."

"What do you mean "know my feelings"?" He asked, his lips curling downward. He knew where this was going, and he didn't want to think about it.

"After looking at these pictures, how do you feel?" He asked again. Lovino frowned, his eye twitching.

"I feel disgusted."

"Alright, that's a normal response. So tell me, if you feel disgusted looking at this happening to someone else, then why did you do this to your own brother, hm?" Lovino's entire body froze, and the doctor took note of his response. After several moments of silence, the doctor sighed. "You know I'm only doing this to help you, right? I want to know why you did what you did. Natalya had a reason, though not legitimate, but she still had a cause for her actions. I want to know the cause of yours."

"I was frustrated." Lovino practically whispered, his face hidden in his hair as he grit his teeth. The doctor raised a brow.

"Why were you frustrated, Lovino? According to the police, this wasn't the first time you've used your brother in this way. Though this time was much more severe. So what made you that frustrated?" Lovino stayed silent. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to think about his little brother. He didn't want to think about everything he had done. It hurt to think about. It made feelings he didn't like swell in his chest, feelings like guilty and regret. He knew what he did was wrong, and believe it or not, he felt horrible for it. Words couldn't describe his feelings of lament over his actions. But yet, that insane part of his brain didn't regret anything, felt nothing he did was wrong. Sadly, that part of his brain controlled everything he said and did.

"Lovino, I'll ask again. Why were you so frustrated? Frustrated enough to just about kill your own brother." The doctor asked in a gentle tone.

"Because he almost told someone about me!" Lovino finally barked, his hands clenching his white pants so tight his knuckles became white. His face held that angry expression as he glared at the doctor, but soon changed as tears stung the back of his eyes. His face twisted into a saddened pose as he tried to chuckle. "The-.. the idiota nearly told someone what I was doing... He could have sent me to jail... He almost betrayed me..-"

"What do you mean 'betrayed' you? He only would have been doing what was best for his safety, Lovino! What did you expect, for him to allow you to use him like that the rest of his life without complaint?!" The doctor asked, completely appalled.

"So what if I did?!" Lovino yelled in frustration. "He always told me he loved me! That he'd never do anything to hurt me... That he'd never betray me... He's all I have!"

"And you choose to... shall I say "return the favor" by hurting him?"

"I-..." Lovino's mouth hung open, words escaping him. The doctor was right. Why did he hurt him? All Feliciano ever was to him was a sweet, obedient, loving little brother... And all he was was an asshole who hurt him... But why-

"Why does he love me..." Lovino asked quietly, his head hung low. "After all the things I've done to him... He still loved me. Why? Why did he continue to love me?!" He asked, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

"Maybe because he thinks you'll change. Maybe he thinks that if he continues to love you, you'll eventually love him enough to change. He's waiting for you to change Lovino. Maybe that's why."

"Maybe that's why I hurt him.." Lovino's tone darkened, striking curiosity in the doctor.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Maybe-.. Maybe I want to see how far I can push him before he wont love me anymore... Just like everyone else." A slight chuckle left his lips after he finished speaking. The doctor raised his brow once more, scribbling something down on his notepad.

"You believe no one loves you?" Lovino only nodded. "Now think for a moment. Why do you think nobody loves you." A dark grin cast over the italian's face before he chuckled once more.

"Because I'm a monster. A horrible, cruel, filthy, insane monster."

"I wouldn't necessarily take it that far, Lovi-"

"I would!" He spat. "You... You don't know my past. You don't know what I've been through... What I've done..."

"Then tell me. Tell me about your past. Tell me all of the thing's you've done." Lovino finally looked up, his eyes meeting the sharp gaze of his doctor, his crazed grin still on his lips. The doctor didn't like the look in the man's eyes. It was beginning to scare-, no, terrify him. His eyes, they looked like ones that belonged to a deranged murderer. But he had to know, for his patient's sake, he had to find out everything there was to know about him. It was for his own good. He had to figure out where the problem originated.

"You sure you want to know?" Lovino teased.

"Tell me. Everything."

BUM BUM BUUUUUUU- Okay I totally ruined the moment I'm sorry don't hurt me. Its late and I really don't feel like writing anymore right now SO onto the details of the contest-ish-like-thingy

This is how it's going to work:

I'm going think of a number between one and 20. YOU are going to guess the number, and THEN write down an idea you want me to add into the story. Whomever guesses closest to the number I chose, I will add their request that into the story no iffs ands or butts about it (can't promise I'll add them in the NEXT chapter, but I promise I'll add it ;))

Here are the rules about this (and yes I hate rules as much as the next crazy gal but hey, just want to clarify some things)

1: You can only guess ONE number (that obviously has to be between one and twenty)

2: Your idea has to actually incorporate and go along with the story. I'm not going to do it if you requested something like "and Lovino actually turns out to be a purple sparkling unicorn who likes to frolic on rainbows-" Yeah no honey, not going to do it. Something I WILL do is for example this: "_(insert random hetalia character here) actually turns out to be.. idk the one who hurt/kidnapped Lovino in his past" Something like that.

Simple rules, yes? So, let the games begin. Haha nah this isn't the hunger games. But remember, even if you don't have an idea, that shouldn't stop you from reviewing~.

See you next time, my dears! Ciao!