Final Chap.

Naruto

Naruto's life was like one never ending angsty flashback.

Every time he found happiness, it was abruptly ripped away like a child ferociously ripping the perforated seal off a package of Oreo's.

The fifteen year old Naruto, having nothing better to do, stopped inside Ichiraku and ordered his favorite ramen.

He sat twirling the chopsticks in his hand, reminiscing about the good old days when Sasuke had a shirt that covered his chest.

Slurping up his noodles, he felt a sharp poke in his side as the noodles spilled out of his mouth and he went cross-eyed.

"HEY," screamed Naruto, "WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?? I WAS…omg…SASUKE?"

"Hi," said Sasuke.

"Yoooouuu!!!! What are you doing?! Where's Orochimaru??"

"Well you see, I killed him, made a gang of outlaws, killed my brother, restored my clan with this random girl with glasses, and now I'm back "

Naruto gaped at him with his mouth hanging open. In his mind, several thoughts raced back and forth.

Finally he decided to just accept it and welcome his old buddy back.

"OH SASUKE! HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!" sobbed Naruto, "Let's go find Sakura! Then we can be a team again! THE GOOD TIMES ARE BACK DAWG!"

He grabbed Sasuke's hand and frolicked to Sakura's house. He blew off her door with a quick Rasengan and shouted her name.

"SAAAKUUURAAAA!!! Look what I found!"

"What, Naruto?!" Sakura screamed, obviously annoyed.

She huffed to the door about to punch Naruto in the gut when she saw HIM.

"Sa-Sasuke..?!"

She ran straight past Naruto into Sasuke's arms, crying uncontrollably.

After a brief and touching reunion, Sakura and Naruto visited each house in Konoha, showing off their friend.

They took him to the Hokage tower and he received several medals of honor, for no apparent reason, from the Hokage.

Women were coming out of nowhere offering their virginity to the young Uchiha.

Hell, even Hinata was offering Sasuke some lovin.

Eventually, the manga title morphed into Sasuke as a parade welcoming back the Uchiha went on for six straight days.

Naruto, used to being brushed off, humbly accepted the change and got used to the role of "best friend" instead of "protagonist."

Thus, Naruto's angsty flashback is a neverending time paradox that cannot successfully reach a conclusion…

UNTIL

He found his calling as a pastry chef, left Konoha, and got a show on the Food Network.

THE END

Thanks for actually reading to the end…I know the finale is a bit lackluster but I wanted to finish the damn thing.

Thanks again for reading and please review!