Chapter 10 – Knowledge and Truths

It's Dad's funeral today. I don't know if I'll cry, I know I will inside, but on the outside? No, I have to remain strong. I'm seen as the strong one in our family, even to Mum and Seth. If I cry, if I break...Mum and Seth will too. I don't want them to. They're my family and I don't want them to lose faith in their strength. It has only been a week or so since that dreadful eventful day… And it doesn't feel that short of time, with everything that's happening.

Charlie Swan had been over recently, planning the funeral with Mum. It was going to be traditional, they agreed, just as Dad would've wanted it.

I had been a wolf the other day, and I found out that Bella was planning her death with the Cullens. It was organized to the day. Apparently she's waiting until graduation, but that's if she makes it until then.

I mean seriously… what a mind controlling, manipulative freak. She's screwing with Jacob, she wants everyone to love her, and she's so selfish to go as far as to make the Cullens kill her, when apparently they love her. Or so they say. She's manipulative, you can never be sure.

Well… if she wants to die that badly, all she had to do was ask…

"Leah?" Mum's soft, quivering voice came from the kitchen. I stood up from the grass where I was sitting outside, looking towards the tree line of the forest. The old wooden porch creaked as I walked over the complaining timber. The sliding glass door hissed slightly as I pushed it open, letting the heated air from inside swish and tickle my bare legs.

"Mum?" I call out after shutting the door.

"Mm," she answered. I knew this day would be hard for her.

"What did you call me for?" My voice stayed soft for her. She needed comfort today, not a bitch.

Mum was staring into her cup of coffee with steam swirling up, towards the ceiling. She spoke, still staring into her mug. "Y-you're father would've been proud of you, princess," I could only watch as a tear slid down her cheek, leaving a silver trail behind, landing with a silent plunk into her coffee, but Mum didn't seem to notice as she took a sip from her steamy cup. "I hope you know that, my beautiful girl. You look lovely, and I'm sure," Mum took an uneven breath. "That your father wants to see that beautiful smile of yours to match. I'm sure, from where he sits up there," her voice was still quiet and soft with emotion. "He sits, hoping to see the day when you smile again."

"It's been so long, beautiful girl. Since I've seen that smile of yours. Ever since that whole drama thing with Sam and Emily," she seemed to spit their names with disgrace. "You know? When you got your first boyfriend in year 9, your father actually went to the sheriff to ask for a gun to shoot him," she laughed half-heartedly. "When Charlie told that poor boy about that, he broke up with you," Mum continued her sad laugh. "Young love doesn't get you far, it's true love that gets you the rest of the way."

I had no idea what to say, whether to say anything at all.

I just ended up sitting next to her with a cup of the delicious brown liquid myself. We sat and drank our cups in silence.

Later then, Seth toddled down the staircase, wearing his finest that actually fit him. It's been a challenge for both of us lately, since we've both grown half a foot, Seth even more than I have, but they think it's because I'm a girl. They think that instead of me growing big like the guys, I'm the fastest and I think it's because I'm the sleekest one and the sliest one if the pack. And I like being fast, so I'll take it. And it's hard enough to buy clothes as it is. "Hey Seth," I greeted him as he grabbed his own cup.

"Leah," he replied, like usual these days, lacking some of his childish bubbly personality. He's changed so much, so fast. Don't think I ever saw it coming.

-0o0-

My floral printed black dress, oops sorry that probably doesn't make sense, I mean, you know those dresses that are black but have instead of like, full material, might have holes everywhere so it somehow makes a sort of floral pattern and then it might have like anything dress material underneath so you don't show everyone everything. Yeah, I had that dress on and for a contrast in colour; I wore a silk belt the colour of lime green, with matching slip-on shoes.

I know that what I'm wearing doesn't matter. But it might. You know, if I turn up wearing my PJs. I think it might matter then. It would be disrespectful.

I saw the old, paint peeled church on the little cliff off to the side headland of First Beach as me, Mum and Seth made our way there.

I hope Rach is here, I really do, but these days she prefers to be away from here if she can help it. I'm sure it has to do with her mum and everything. Rach had told me when we were younger that Jake looks so much like their mother. And that that's the reason she loves Jake so much, because she loved her mum that much and more. When they lost her, seven years ago, Rach was broken-hearted and left La Push as soon as she could. I missed her, but I didn't blame her for leaving.

And Becca? Rach's twin sister, Rebecca, left for Hawaii a few years back, and hasn't returned since. Mainly because the flight tickets to get out of there are expensive, so she's practically stuck there until she has the money, and she's married so they'd have to come back over together and I'm not sure they're in a hurry.

I walked up the hill with Mum and Seth, staying strong for both of them.

My insides heated up, with sadness and annoyance.

But my body didn't register it like it usually did when I was about to phase.

No, just the pain that I'm slowly getting used to. The pain of the transformation.

-0o0-

Since we're family, we're at the front along with Charlie Swan, and the pack is the next row behind us, along with other of dad's friends and people he knew. The ceremony started, and Mum was in tears. Not that I blame her, I would be too.

Remain strong, remain strong… remain strong! I had a slight tremor to deal with, but I could keep it small and slower, I didn't need to go exploding in front of all La Push. That would not be a good thing. For me or the pack. I may hate everyone in my pack, but at least I wasn't stupid enough to go exploding in the middle of my father's funeral.

That thought hit me, like a ton of bricks.

He was really gone.

My father… was gone.

Forever.

Playing the 'Never will I ever' game, minus the drinking, to pass by the really sad epilogues from family and friends of Dad's. It might be a bit rude, but at least I won't cry.

Never will I ever get to see him again.

Never will I ever make it up to him for ignoring him for two years.

Never will I ever get to hug my daddy ever again.

Never will I ever hear his rumble gruff voice again.

Never will I ever hear his obnoxiously funny sarcastic bad dad jokes.

Never will he walk me down that stupid white aisle.

Never will I ever-

Never again…

-0o0-

The tears, damn the tears. Every drop I see or hear fall from someone's cheek, I want to as well.

But I can't.

I just can't.

I faced the back of the room at the sound of the huge oak arched doors to see someone sneaking in late, black curly hair sitting down on her shoulders, the black pattern dress that flowed at her knees, her sad face, guilty from being so late. After all, she did call him Uncle Harry. He was like her second father and we were her second family. And I was just really glad to see her.

Rachel.

A/N: I am so so so sorry, it has really been forever hasnt it? Dont hate me? PLEASE! I have a million and one excuses, but please, please dont hate me! I hope you like it, please review, fave, follow, and hate me if you want, I promise to try to get you the next chapter ASAP. Hope you dont hate, and ENJOY :)

Special thanks to...

Don't Speak Of The Attic - You have done an amazing job of editing this chapter, thank you so so very much. Without you I probably wouldnt have made much sense at all. Thank you gurl!

Also to...

crippsy2

minichan1612

InspiredAndNatural

brankel1

and Guest

You have all been so loyal to Leah. Thank you all, please, hate me if you want, but I hope you like this chapter after so many months of making you wait. Love you guys!

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to, I do not own anything of Twilight. They belong to Stephanie Meyer!