Previously:
"Mike told me." I glared at Mike who glanced at Jessica.
"What the hell Jess? I haven't even talked to you today. Adrien I swear, I didn't tell her." I knew that my "friend" wasn't lying, it was Jessica.
"What did you do?" I roared, I could feel the anger pulsing from me, going in every direction.
Jessica's words came out fast and agitated, I could barely catch what she was saying, "We did it as a joke. We didn't expect you to believe it. And we didn't want to hurt anyone just break you two up." She inched away and I lunged for her, forgetting everything I had known not to do. I punched her in the face, lightly, knowing that it would at least leave a bruise for a few weeks.
"HOW DARE YOU?" she shrieked, holding her cheek in her hands.
"No," I shot back, feeling good now, "How dare you?"
BPOV
I sat in the back of the classroom, with my hood up and covering my swollen eyes. My heart was broken in to a million pieces, yet again, and by a vampire no less. Why did it all come crashing down again, despite all of my attempts at stabilizing? The bell rang, a horrible, sharp noise interrupting my thoughts. I stood, and trudged to my truck. The loud roaring did not comfort me like it normally did, but shake me to my core, and remind me of the time I was in this truck with the people I loved. People that had loved me. More tears fell, and I couldn't see out the back window because of my clouded eyes. Somehow I didn't care if I ran someone over or not.
I floored it in reverse, and swung out haphazardly. My truck's ancient engine groaned with the effort, and I heard the solid 'thump' and ringing of stone on metal. Adrien. I flung the door open, and stepped out with shaky legs. My knees buckled when I saw Adrien standing inside the back of my truck, looking extremely surprised. I plummeted towards the ground my legs giving way under me.
Cold arms caught me before I made contact, and pulled me tight to his muscular frame. "Thanks, Adrien." I whispered, and he lifted my face up to see his.
"Bella, forgive me, please." He begged. Somehow I thought I should be the one apologizing…for something I couldn't remember…running him over.. right. I had forgotten. We watched each other silently for a few seconds.
"Adrien, dude, where were you? We have a football practice, let's go! Everyone's looking for you." A kid called from across the parking lot; obviously he hadn't seen what had just happened.
"You need to go," I sighed sadly; I could feel my heart drifting away. Away with Adrien…. My one true love. I could feel myself going back into zombie mode.
"Bella, listen…" I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to hear why I wasn't good enough, or pretty enough or blonde enough.
"It's okay Adrien. Really. They're waiting for you, go." I untangled myself from his arms and slammed the truck door shut. I pulled out of the parking lot, at 60mph…as fast as my truck could go.
"Bella!" He yelled over the roar of the engine. I ignored him; it was better for the both of us if I got out of his life for good. He was just like Edward and I had fallen for him…hard. Who was I kidding? Why was I dreaming of one day that he would change me? Those had been lies…lies in my dreams…lies to myself. I wiped my eyes against my sleeve, leaving black mascara marks. I would do my best to seem okay. I had to try harder this time…to make sure Charlie didn't realize what was going on. To not get as many pity looks from my fellow students. I was about to enter hell…a different kind of hell than the one of being part of the living dead. I pulled into the driveway, skidding to a halt a few inches away from Charlie's cop car. Great. He's Home. I cleaned myself in the car mirror and stepped out of the car. I was presentable…sort of. I opened the door slowly.
"Hey Bells!" Charlie called from the recliner. He stared up at my face. His eyes widened. "What happened?" He whispered. I didn't think I looked any different from yesterday, though I felt light years awat.
"Ummm.." I bit my lip. "Nothing! I'm fine! Just some…" I paused. "Bad grades."
"Bella." Charlie raised his eyebrows, turning down the volume to watch my expression.
"Seriously." I insisted. "I got an F on my trig test. And I just sort of broke down."
He shook his head. "Bella, don't be so hard on yourself, its okay. You usually do well." I partially relaxed. He had believed my stupid excuse. Had it been Renee I would have to be enduring 20 questions by now. Charlie returned to the game. "Is Adrien coming over today?" I felt my heart give a tug, a twisting wrenching feeling pulled at me. No, I wanted to scream. No! He doesn't love me, he's never coming back, just forget about him like I want to!
"No," I managed to utter.
"Did something happen between you two?" His face turned from concern to anger. "If he did…"
"Dad! You read into things too much!" I laughed weakly. "He had football practice."
He nodded. "Nice to see you finally got a boyfriend that's normal. Edmund didn't even like sports. It was all about music with him."
"It's Edward." I gritted my teeth. "And he liked baseball too dad." I spun on my heel and headed towards the kitchen. Adrien wasn't "normal" and just because he liked sports didn't mean that my dad could like him. Life lesson: all guys are idiotic jerks at some point in time. "We're having pasta tonight. OK?" My voice was still strangled.
"Sure Bella." All of Charlie's attention was on the screen.
I chopped the tomatoes harder than necessary. Hearing the sharp clack with metal against metal calmed me. I thought, what if I did more than chop tomatoes with this knife? I ran my finger along the back edge. No, I shook my head. I had to stay sane for my father. I didn't want to be the girl who died because her second boyfriend broke up with her. I couldn't help but wonder though, what would it be like if I had a normal boyfriend? One that wasn't perfect. One that understood things the way humans could. Not with vampire qualities. One that wasn't practically swimming in money? I slammed the metal against the onions harder, beating it to death. It wouldn't let me think about anything else, it was nice to be able to not hear or think. That was what I wanted right? Not to be able to think. I quickly finished making dinner and took a tray with a glass of red wine and pasta to the coach. I didn't want to be in anyone's presence anymore than I had to. It was too painful…trying to act as if nothing was going on.
"Here." I set the tray down on his lap and walked towards my room.
"You're not eating dinner?" I shook my head.
"Maybe later, I'm not hungry. I'm just going to do some homework." Charlie scrutinized my expression, then leaving me alone.
I climbed the stairs warily, each step becoming heavier to the point where I broke into silent sobs. I wanted Adrien back. Why hadn't I listened to what he had to say? Why hadn't I listened and changed myself to his liking? Stupid girl. I dragged my back into the dark room, the yellow walls seemed uninviting, too childish, and maybe this was one of the reasons he had left. Or the fact that I was always crying, or…it became too excruciatingly awful to think. I opened the trig book going deep into the problems and turned on the heavy metal cd Phil had sent me. The only music I had actually kept.
Breathing each other's lives
Holding this in mind
That if we fall, we all fall
And we fall aloneI nodded my head along, we do fall alone. It was true. I mouthed the lyrics from the back of the cd.
The cold insincerity of steel machines Have consumed our euphoria Transforming us into muted dreams Dreaming of the day that
We attack Attack, attack your fetal servitude We attack Attack, attack, attack with pesticide We attack All the years of propaganda We shall attack
Books illustrate what we already know Candles cry towards the sky Racing your flags along polluted coasts Dreaming of the day that…
"BELLA DOOR!" Charlie yelled over the thundering music. I walked fast down the stairs, tripping on the side of the banister. I let the wood come in contact with my face. I felt it like a slap. But it felt good. Now I had a physical and emotional pain. I wanted to be back safe in my room…where no one could bother me. I opened the door with a heavy heart. I just wanted to lie on my bed and cry...but it looked like that wouldn't be happening. Not with the vampire in the middle of it, tossing a football up and down, up and down, catching it and throwing it back up. He looked up when I shut the door with a soft click.
"Bella," he started.
"GO AWAY, Adrien. Don't feel bad about me. Just go...live your life. Metaphorically speaking, of course." The words rushed out as I tried to keep my tone light and casual, but my voice kept breaking. Damn it. I leaned my head against the door letting more silent tears fall. I prayed that the game was loud enough for Charlie not to hear me.
"Bella, please!" Adrien called again.
"No, I'm sorry." I whispered. I really was sorry. Sorry that I couldn't be the girl he wanted to me. Sorry that I wasn't graceful and flawless. There was silence on the other side. Yes, finally he had left. This was what I wanted, wasn't it?
"Who was it?" Charlie asked from the living room.
"Adrien was dropping my…" I looked to the table near the door. "My book, Hamlet off."
"Why didn't he come in?"
"Curfew." I stepped back through the thin wood door. My heart quickened, I let out a scream.
APOV
I sat quietly on Bella's bed…waiting. She would come up eventually. I lowered the music.. System of a Down. I noticed the cd. It wasn't Bella's type of music, not mine either. Hadn't she said she couldn't stand this stuff? The door handle turned and I waited patiently. Bella stepped through the arch, eyes puffy red and black mascara marks. She saw me and screamed. I ran to her side and covered her mouth with my hand. Charlie would come up…
"BELLA?" He rumbled. I lifted my hand off her face. "You okay?"
"Yeah dad. I saw a spider, I got it though." Her eyes were shooting daggers in my direction.
"'Kay. Good night Bella." She didn't bother to respond; Bella just stared at me, finally letting two tears slip down her cheeks.
"Adrien leave." She said coldly, turning away. I could see all the pain I had caused. But I HAD to fight for this. In away I was not only fighting for my love but fighting not to be alone for the next 50years.
"No, I need to explain." I replied stubbornly. Two could play at this game. I wrapped my arm around her waist. Bella yanked it away, I could have held on, refusing to…but I needed to act at least a bit human. The force of the blow would have had any human boy rubbing his arm angrily.
"What? Tell me why I'm not good enough? Or pretty enough? Or smart enough?" Her body shook at the desk. I couldn't stand to see her in so much pain. I pressed my lips firmly to hers. "Pity kiss?" She smiled knowingly, but truly knowing nothing at all.
"No, you're perfect." I pulled the note out of my pocket. It was smudged now, where I had read over it so many times…not wanting to believe, but believing it. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have though that the beautiful angel in front of me had done something like this?
Bella took the note with shaking hands and read over it, holding it. She just stared at it and another tear slid down her cheek. "I didn't write this."
"I know." I responded automatically.
"You believed it." It was a statement, not a question or a thought.
"Yeah." I looked away.
"Why?"
"It made sense," I insisted. "It made sense because Edward was so much better than me. He was perfect and wonderful to you in every way. And I'm not. I was waiting for it. For you to break down and realize who I wasn't."
"Adrien…"
"Let me finish." I put up my hand, silencing her. "I was being a jerk. I didn't think because in my heart well…dead heart that was my biggest fear. That I couldn't fill his shoes and that it would never be enough…"
She ignored my statement."But you're a vampire. You should have known." Bella's gaze was fixed on me; eyes still cold, but melting by the second.
"I know. But you're scent." I hung my head.
"The note." Bella's eyes lit up angrily, fire burning from within. She seemed more upset than I had ever seen her. "I passed that note to Lauren from Marissa…"
BPOV
"I'm sorry." I finally managed. Had I not been so stupid, so arrogant, so…human.
Adrien laughed, "Bella, my Bella. You blame yourself for things that aren't your fault. It was my fault, all you need to do is forgive me."
"Yes." I whispered happily.
"Forever and always?" Adrien smiled, his black hair in a messier disarray than usual. He had thought a lot about this…
"Always," I agreed. I felt us crashing onto the bed, and a sweet bitter kiss across my lips… forever and always. I liked the sound of that…"I love you." I was hugging him with all my strength. Even if it was bone crunching.
"I love you too." I curled up to Adrien's chest, not feeling the coldness of his marble chest, his other vampire qualities. Jus that the guy I loved too much wanted me too, to be with me eternity. I felt loved and it felt good. Whole, like I was walking on water, flying to the moon, being on cloud nine….
Whoah…long chapter…geez…I reedited it so many times its NOT even FUNNY…Ask BiteMeEdward7…I think I drove her a bit nuts and up the wall… (Sorry! But you were so awesome with the advice! You should read her stories they are GREAT!!)
Anyway, REVIEW, REVIEW REVIEW…this IS the most important chapter in the story…at least right now. I LOVE story alerts and author alerts and whatever else there is but I NEED REVIEWS!!! I NEED your opinions…wats good? What's bad? What's rushed? What needs to be changed? Etc…
Thanks!
Sophy
