First of all, I want to apologize to all the readers: both Akiru Chan and I are very sorry that it has taken us this long to update. Things have been very busy and stressful for the both of us, and life just kept getting in the way. Also, just so you know, it may not be every week that we update, though we will certainly try our hardest to do so. For now, read and enjoy the newest chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.
Have a very happy and safe Fourth of July! And thanks to anyone that might read this who is in the military.
Disclaimer: I think I've been forgetting to do this, but no, I don't own Kuroshitsuji or Sebastian or Ciel.
Ciel squirmed nervously on the couch. It was almost time for his parents to pick him up, but before they could leave, Sebastian was going to give them a progress report. Ciel wanted to know if the treatments were working, yet at the same time, he was terrified. What if they weren't working, and all the hopes that he'd had of seeing Sebastian were destroyed?
He'd been apprehensive about beginning the treatments earlier, and now he desperately wanted them to be successful. If they were to fail, he wasn't sure what he would do. He wished Sebastian were in his office right now to give him at least some comfort from the troublesome thoughts, but he was talking to his other patient.
Ciel felt a twinge of jealousy rise up at the thought of Sebastian touching someone else, then instantly felt bad. It was Sebastian's job to examine his patients, but that didn't help Ciel's sudden desire to have Sebastian beside him, running his fingers through his hair and kissing his lips.
Deep red bled across his cheeks, and Ciel buried his face in his hands. Ever since Friday night when he'd lost control of himself, Ciel had been careful not to let it happen again. Yes, he had enjoyed it, but it was still new to him and scared him. Sighing, he flopped over and curled up. He was so confused about everything. He wanted to have that experience again, and he knew that Sebastian didn't mind, but it was hard for him because he distinctly remembered that happening to him. Only Ciel wasn't the one doing it; it had been them.
Ciel tensed, squeezing his eyes shut. He had to get away from this train of thought. It would do no good to have a panic attack and have his parents walk in and see it. His mom would no doubt make an appointment with his psychiatrist, and that was the last thing he wanted.
A knock on the door caught the boy's attention and soon Sebastian's smooth voice was filtering through the hard wood. "Are you ready, Ciel?" The doctor asked, not yet opening the door.
A few seconds ticked by before Ciel responded, "Yeah, I'm ready." He sat up, carefully controlling his expression to keep any anxiety from showing, and waited for Sebastian to enter.
Sebastian smiled slightly at the sight of the boy. He could tell he was nervous but didn't comment on it. "Your parents are here," Sebastian said and moved over to help Ciel gather his things. The boy's free hand was taken, using the lack of guide dog as a reason to be this close to Ciel as they went out into the hall.
Ciel trailed along behind Sebastian. The temptation to squeeze his hand was strong, and Ciel had to force himself to keep his fingers relaxed and not grip tighter. He couldn't stop himself from brushing his thumb gently over Sebastian's knuckles, and a genuine smile stole over his face. It was nice to know that whenever he came back to the hospital, Sebastian would be here and they could enjoy some quality time together. His smile faltered slightly.
"I'm going to miss you," Ciel spoke quietly so no one could overhear him.
"You'll see me next week," Sebastian countered just as his office door was opened and Sebastian maneuvered Ciel towards Rachel's outstretched arms. Vincent was here as well but his eyes were settled on Sebastian. It was an unnerving look and the doctor tried his best to ignore it as he placed Ciel's things on the floor.
"How have you been?" Sebastian asked politely. "It's been a while since I've seen either of you."
"We're doing fine," Rachel spoke as she hugged Ciel. She then proceeded to look him up and down as if to make sure that they treated him well. She turned towards Sebastian and smiled. "Thank you for watching out for Ciel. It means a lot to both Vincent and me to know that we can trust you."
Ciel tried to cover up a laugh by coughing; it ended up sounding like he was choking, and he felt his mom's hand soothingly rub his back. Ciel wished that he could see Sebastian's face at this moment as he glanced in the doctor's direction, biting his lip in an attempt to keep from smiling.
Sebastian gave the boy a look but didn't comment on what Ciel saw humorous. He had a good idea and it wasn't something that should be brought up in this company. "It's my pleasure," was returned and Sebastian moved to take a seat behind his desk where Ciel's files were already waiting to be gone over.
Ciel took a seat, followed by Rachel and Vincent. He licked his lips as he waited for someone to speak. He was too nervous and, knowing that his voice would probably crack from the apprehension, he was reluctant to say anything.
"Are the treatments working?" Rachel questioned, her blue eyes clouded over in concern. She chanced a look at Ciel, then reached over and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
Glad to get onto business, Sebastian leaned back and opened the file. "I'm pleased to say that everything seems to be going well. He's responding excellently to treatment." Sebastian was pleased to announce. This would be Ciel's first time hearing this as well. Some images were produced and Sebastian held them up for everyone, Ciel aside, to see. "The occipital lobe is reforming and mending nicely as you can see here." An image was shown alongside a before scan to show how the treatment had progressed. "Soon the nerves will be more receptive and Ciel will be able to see indistinct shapes. From that point we'll know that he'll be about ready for the surgery."
A relieved smile bloomed across Rachel's face. "That's wonderful news! Did you hear that, Ciel?"
"Yeah, I heard. It's my eyes that don't work, Mom, not my ears," Ciel grinned. While he was thrilled that the treatments were working, it just meant that he would have to undergo surgery at a later date, and Ciel had already had his share of them. After the Incident, he'd had to stay in the hospital for a month while he recovered, and they'd even tried some unsuccessful surgeries to repair his damaged nerves. Fortunately, eight years later, they were more improved with those kinds of surgeries, and it was now possible for Ciel to one day be able to see again.
"How long will it take before Ciel starts to see these indistinct shapes?" Rachel inquired.
Sebastian waved his hand as he thought it over. "Two to three months. About four months until we would be able to do the surgery." There was still a good amount of time until surgery could be thought about and it did not go unnoticed how tense Ciel had become. "It won't be anytime soon, so there is no need to worry." He spoke to Rachel and Vincent, yet his words were meant for Ciel.
Ciel relaxed upon hearing Sebastian's words. "Has there ever been a case where the treatments work but the surgery is unsuccessful?"
"There has, but it's not as common." It wasn't something Sebastian wanted to reveal but he wouldn't hide this from Ciel. The boy had a right to know, and if need be, Sebastian was going to be truthfully blunt.
A nod was Ciel's only answer. If he were to be pessimistic, he'd say that he would be the unlucky one on whom the surgery wouldn't work. He gave a small smile. He had to at least give it a try. He couldn't give up now and let the fears have control.
"Say the surgery is successful, and Ciel regains his sight," Vincent spoke. "What about if Ciel were to receive any head injuries after that? Will the repairs be undone?"
Sebastian sighed and placed down the file and looked seriously at the family. "It depends on where the injury is located. A hit to the back of the head could reverse the treatment and it would be a risk to Ciel to try to repair the damage a second time. But we are talking about severe hits and similar to what destroyed Ciel's eyesight to begin with." It wouldn't be easy for Ciel to destroy what was done, but it was a legitimate concern. "The time right after surgery would be where he'd be most prone to irreversible damage."
"So we'd need to be extra cautious at that time," Rachel affirmed.
Ciel sank into his seat, closing his eyes. He didn't want to talk about getting hit in the head again. The Incident had been bad enough, and he knew for sure that he didn't want a repeat. "I highly doubt anything like that will happen," he spoke.
Rachel blinked. "We know, Ciel. We just want to ask questions and get some answers so we know what's in store and how to deal with anything that might occur. It's best to be prepared."
Ciel gave a jerky nod of his head, his sightless eyes flicking all about the room as he tried not to think about the Incident and the pain. He nearly jumped out of his chair when his mom placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please... Don't touch me right now," he breathed.
Rachel withdrew her hand, a frown now marring her pretty features. "I'm sorry, Honey."
Sebastian had to resist the urge to go to Ciel, but he knew it would only cause problems. He took a calming breath and addressed everyone once more. "As things stand now, everything is going smoothly. Ciel's been an excellent patient on top of that. It's been a great pleasure having him here." A pleasant smile settled on Sebastian's face and he tried to put on his best 'good doctor' act.
Rachel glanced at Sebastian. "That's good to hear. I was hoping he'd be fine here at the hospital." She opened her mouth to say something else, then apparently thought better of it and smiled instead. "Ciel, why don't you wait outside? We'll be out in a few minutes."
Ciel stiffened, and his fingers dug into his legs. "Um... Okay..." He didn't want to leave, half-afraid of what his mom was planning on talking about. He had an inkling as to the nature of the talk, and he sincerely hoped that Sebastian would refuse to listen to any talk of the Incident. He paused at the door, glancing over his shoulder at Sebastian even though he couldn't see before slipping into the hallway.
Rachel looked down at her lap, then raised her eyes to meet Sebastian's. "How is he really doing, Sebastian?"
"He's honestly doing really well. He hasn't had one problem since he began staying the night. Only recently he started allowing the injections without the help of laughing gas," Sebastian explained, sounding like a proud parent. "Ciel has made tremendous progress in more ways then one. You should be proud."
"Thank you. We are proud of him. It's been a long time since he's acted like this, the way he used to before he was kidnapped." Rachel laughed. "In fact, just two days ago he agreed to go out to dinner with Vincent and I."
"I personally think these weekends at the hospital are good for him," Vincent added. "It helps to get him out of his comfort zone and back into normal living. I'm afraid we coddled him a bit too much after what he went through. We should have introduced him back into society sooner, but his emotional state has been weak since then. Every time we tried, he just panicked."
"I understand, but it's good to know that I'm doing more good than just fixing his eyesight." Sebastian smiled, knowing that his words meant more than what Rachel and Vincent would take them for. They knew little of what exactly he had been doing for Ciel. No doubt the boy's agreement to going out to dinner with his parents was due to Sebastian and Ciel's outings to lunch. "Hopefully he'll be a normal young man soon."
"I sure hope so," Rachel whispered. "I don't know how many times I wonder what he would be like now if those horrible things hadn't happened to him."
Vincent squeezed Rachel's hand. "It's okay, Rachel. We have him back now."
"I'm sorry," she gave Sebastian a watery smile. "Whenever I think about that time and how close we came to losing him, I tend to lose control of my emotions."
Sebastian offered a smile but did not listen too closely to the woman's words. This was something he had wanted to hear from Ciel, not from the boy's parents. "Hopefully things will only get better from here on." And Sebastian truly hoped that.
"I think it will," Rachel said with confidence. "This is the turning point for Ciel, I'm sure of it."
Silence settled amongst them and Sebastian took the opportunity to excuse himself and move out into the hall to see Ciel leaning against the wall. "You can come back in," he said.
"What did they say? Did they tell you anything? You didn't listen, did you?" The questions left Ciel's mouth in a rush, and he wrung his hands nervously as he awaited Sebastian's response.
An amused chuckle left Sebastian's mouth and he waved Ciel's concerns aside. "We only spoke of how well you've progressed. Nothing to worry about." He patted Ciel on the head, letting his hand linger longer than what would be deemed appropriate.
A relieved look crossed Ciel's face. "That's good." He paused. "It is good, right? Mom didn't say anything about me needing a psychiatrist again?"
"Not at all." Sebastian smiled and withdrew himself. "We should get back." But he made no move to turn towards his office.
Ciel tilted his head. "Are we just going to stand here?" He stepped closer towards Sebastian, a hint of a smile on his face.
Ciel's look was mirrored by Sebastian and he calmly assessed the boy. "Standing here is nicer than sitting in that stuffy office," Sebastian returned. He knew they needed to head back soon. With how paranoid Ciel's parents were, it was only a matter of time until they came looking for their son. Still, a few minutes more wouldn't hurt, or so Sebastian told himself.
Ciel's fingers twitched, wanting to grasp Sebastian's hand. He bit his lip. "I want to kiss you," he whispered so softly he wondered if Sebastian had heard him.
"Such a naughty thing to suggest, and with your parents in the next room," Sebastian teased but his eyes cautiously eyed the door to his office nonetheless.
"Do you want to kiss me, too?" Ciel questioned coyly, his lips turning up into a slight smirk.
Throwing caution to the wind, Sebastian leaned down until he was only a hairsbreadth away from the boy's face. "What is it you want, Ciel?" Although he already had a good guess as to what Ciel wanted, since the boy had said as much earlier.
"I want to kiss you," Ciel spoke. He could feel Sebastian's breath ghosting over his face. He was so close; all Ciel had to do was lean forward just a tiny bit more and their lips would connect.
Sebastian moved the distance and connected their lips. It was only a peck, slight pressure and then it was over. That was all that could be afforded. Anything more and Sebastian knew he would lose himself in Ciel and that would only get them caught. They didn't need that, not now or ever.
Ciel's eyes glazed over slightly and a smile played on his lips. "Thank you," he said quietly, briefly touching Sebastian's hand.
The hand was squeezed briefly before Sebastian pulled away as if nothing of such questionable nature had ever happened. A professional air surrounded him and he became the serious doctor that he needed to be. There was no longer time for Sebastian to forget himself. "Shall we return to your parents?" He asked and led Ciel back to the office. This time, Sebastian did not hold onto Ciel's hand as they went, instead guiding the boy by the shoulder.
Rachel smiled warmly as the two of them entered the room. "Are you ready to go, Ciel? We decided that we were going out for dinner tonight, if that's okay with you."
Ciel nodded. "That's fine. I'm hungry."
Vincent stood and offered his hand to Sebastian. "Thanks again, Sebastian."
Sebastian returned the shake with a polite smile and led the way back into the waiting room. Mey-rin was there to greet them quickly before Sebastian sent her off.
"Well, until next week then" Sebastian said to Ciel more so then anyone else.
"See you next week," Ciel murmured with a small wave before he was led down the hallway by his mom. He remembered the times when he dreaded these appointments, but now he looked forward to them, if only because he got to see Sebastian. The smile on his face stayed there throughout the rest of the night.
"Ciel! Dinner!" Rachel's voice filtered through the house as she called up the stairs. Her blue eyes searched the hallway until she saw a door open and he son maneuvering from the room. Sebastian the dog was at the boy's heels and she couldn't help but smile at the sight. It had been a while, it seemed, since Ciel had spent time with the animal. He had begun to do more and more without Sebastian's help, actually moving across a room of his own accord while at home, using only his hands to feel his way across. Before Ciel would never have thought to venture out without the comfort of the dog.
She still didn't know how she felt about her son's new found confidence, even more so she was confused as to what had exactly sprouted it. Rachel could only hope that things progressed in a way that was best for Ciel. That was all a mother could hope for really.
"What's for dinner?" Ciel questioned as he reached his mother's side. He patted Seb's head, and the dog's tail wagged furiously. He was enjoying the attention he was receiving once again.
There was a moment when Rachel seemed reluctant to answer, knowing it wasn't her son's favorite meal choice. "Grilled chicken, with mashed potatoes and steamed carrots." She watched for a negative reaction, knowing it was bound to come. Out of all the vegetables, Ciel liked carrots the least.
Ciel grimaced, but otherwise made no comment. "Is there dessert, too?" He asked hopefully. If there was, that would take away the disgust at having to eat carrots. Either that, or he could try feeding them to Seb again.
"I'm sure there is something sweet in the frig." Rachel took Ciel by the arm as soon as he was off the stairs. "If not, then I'll send your father out to pick up some ice cream."
"Yes," Ciel grinned. They walked in silence, and as they entered the dining room, Ciel spoke again. "Mom, could we go out to eat again sometime? Maybe to a pizza parlor?"
Rachel sighed and looked towards Vincent who was already seated at the table. "Your son and his pizza. I blame his bad eating habits on you!" It didn't help that the man was sipping on a coke when Rachel had filled up everyone else's glasses with sugarless iced tea. She was bound and determined to lower the intake of sweets in this house. The only person immune to this seemed to be Ciel, but he was beginning to be targeted as well.
Ciel frowned. "I don't think there's anything wrong with having something sweet or greasy once in a while. Actually, I think I could live on a diet like that." He laughed at the indignant huff that left his mom's mouth. "But I don't think I'll get away with that."
"No, you won't! And even if you didn't have a loving mother, you'd end up dying from eating like that," Rachel warned. She pushed Ciel over to his seat and forced him to sit with a little too much force.
Ciel gave a slight yelp as he was suddenly pushed into a sitting position, but quickly regained control and rolled his eyes. "I know it's not healthy, but it just tastes good. I've always had a sweet tooth, and for some reason, pizza is my favorite food. It doesn't help that we only have it once in a while."
"Well, you can't go eating it every day." Rachel huffed and shook her head. "Now enough of this. Just eat your meal." She swooped down to hand Ciel his silverware and position them over his plate. A part of Rachel knew that her son was perfectly capable of finding his plate on his own, but as a mother she felt inclined to help. There was nothing wrong with it, and so she indulged herself.
Ciel obediently began to eat, but he skipped over the carrots. He didn't want to eat them quite yet, and he was trying to decide if he should risk giving them to Seb.
Vincent glanced at his son for a moment before speaking. "How are you doing with staying nights at the hospital? Sebastian said you're doing all right, but I want to hear it from you."
Ciel swallowed a piece of chicken while he formulated a response. "I didn't like it at first," he admitted. "It was a different place filled with strangers. But now, it's not too bad. I still don't like going all over the hospital, but there are some places that I feel comfortable in."
There was a peak of interest from Ciel's parents and they slowed in their eating. "So everything is okay? You have a safe place?" It always helped Ciel to have a comfortable place to hide out in when he felt stress begin to take its hold. Rachel let herself relax, knowing that things were okay for her son.
"Yeah. Nobody bothers me when I'm in my room, except for Mey-rin and Sebastian." Ciel didn't mention that most of the time, he was in Sebastian's office with the doctor. He wasn't too sure how his parents would take that bit of information. "The garden is a nice place, too, but it's too open. Too many places for someone to hide..." He trailed off, fingers gripping his fork so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white.
The sounds of dinner started up again as the family reanimated themselves into the meal. "Well, so long as you have a place where you feel comfortable," Rachel said between bites of mashed potatoes. "Sebastian and this Mey-rin are treating you well?" It was a parent's job to worry and ask questions. Rachel was no except, nor was Vincent who listened on intently.
"Mey-rin is nice," Ciel commented. "She's polite, but a bit clumsy. And Sebastian always explains what's going to happen next. He did that a lot when the injections first started, but I'm pretty much used to them by now. If it's something new that I haven't experienced yet, he makes sure that I understand what's going on before proceeding." He quickly shoved some more chicken into his mouth, wondering if he'd said too much about Sebastian and hoping that his face wasn't red like he thought it was.
"You seem to really like Sebastian. I'm glad," Rachel said, followed by an agreeing nod from Vincent. It was comforting to see their son making a connection with another person. It had been far too long since Ciel had last trusted someone outside of family.
"He's nice, and he really cares about his patients," Ciel stated with enthusiasm. "He didn't get upset with me if I freaked out a little about the injections, and he was patient with me. He gave me space and time if I needed it, even if it put him behind schedule." Ciel knew that that had happened a few times, and he had been relieved that Sebastian hadn't been angry with him.
Ciel's words seemed to please his parents, and Rachel turned back to Vincent to engage him with excited words. "See, I told you it was smart to send Ciel to Dr. Michaelis. I had heard nothing but good things and he's so handsome!" She gushed, and her husband humored her with a smile.
"Ah, Rachel, do I need to be jealous?" Vincent teased her gently, his lips tilting up at the corners despite efforts not to.
"You might actually have some competition, dear," she teased.
"And what can some young doctor have that I don't?" Vincent played along. He nearly laughed when he saw Ciel roll his eyes.
"Well, he is far too good looking for his own good. I'm sure Ciel would agree. Right, dear,?" Rachel dragged her reluctant son into the playful argument.
Ciel tilted his head. "I've never seen him, so I wouldn't know." His fingers tightened on his fork as anticipation rose within him. He could hardly wait for the opportunity to actually see Sebastian. He bit his lower lip to force back a smile.
That paused Rachel midrant. She turned to Ciel apologetically. "Sorry, dear, but he does have a dreamy voice, too," she laughed and went back to her meal.
"Good looks, a nice voice. Is that all that matters, Rachel?" Vincent raised an eyebrow, taking a bite of his carrots.
Rachel waved at Vincent. "I'm only joking," she said. "You know I have eyes only for you."
Vincent smiled. "I know." He reached over and touched her hand gently. His eyes flicked over to where Ciel sat, expecting a smart comment in response to the flirting, but none came. Instead, Ciel sat there quietly, head turned in their direction as he listened intently to their conversation. The older man raised an eyebrow at Rachel, asking a silent question about Ciel's behavior.
Rachel glanced to the side with similar confusion. The usual disinterest or disgust was absent from Ciel's face. Such a notable change had her baffled but she did not question it.
The meal was winding down to an end, and Ciel forced himself to eat his carrots, despite his hatred toward the vegetable. For some unknown reason, he felt as though he acted childishly at times, and he wanted that to stop. He was eighteen, after all, and he was currently in a relationship with a much older man. Ciel doubted that Sebastian would like him very much if he continued to act like a spoiled little child.
Vincent noticed Ciel's lack of complaining about the carrots. "Look at you, eating the carrots. We didn't even have to bribe you this time," he joked.
"They're not so bad, are they?" Rachel was getting a little too hopeful, thinking that perhaps her son had a change of heart when it came to vegetables. As the boy looked up, she knew that she wouldn't be receiving any response that would be satisfactory.
"They're still terrible," Ciel scowled. "But I think that just eating them and getting it over with is better than staring at them and prolonging the inevitable torture."
Vincent coughed to disguise a laugh. "That's what we've been trying to tell you for how many years now, Ciel?"
The remainder of the dinner was spent in comfortable silence, with Ciel eating his vegetables, albeit reluctantly, as his parents passed amused looks between them all the while. Dessert was a more lively affair but Ciel was too occupied with ridding his mouth of bitter carrots in favor of sweet delights.
Rachel laughed, making a comment about Ciel's antics that was long forgotten by the time the family moved from the table. Night was settling in a somber contentment, filling the living room as the family sat together with the television off, just enjoying the company of one another. Tomorrow, Ciel would be gone once more and Rachel would lose her son to Sebastian. She couldn't quite place the seed of this feeling that the doctor was wrenching her son away week by week. There was no denying that he was helping Ciel to come out of his shell, but the foreboding feeling still remained, even if it was entirely uncalled for.
Once the treatment was over, Ciel would be back at home and Sebastian out of their lives. He would be nothing more then a happy memory and a man they would send thankful Christmas cards to yearly, but nothing more than that. She sighed in relief and brushed such feelings aside as she watched her son being lulled off to sleep.
"I think it's time for bed Ciel. I don't think your father can carry you to bed anymore," Rachel said in a slightly teasing tone.
Ciel yawned. "Yeah, I am tired," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Good night. I'll see you both in the morning." A twinge of pain shot through his eyes straight to the back of his head, and he tried to cover his wince by shaking his head as if he was trying to keep awake. The pain brought with it a sense of panic, and for a brief second, he was back with them as they abused him.
Forcing himself to stay calm, he gave his parents a smile. "Love you both."
"You okay?" Rachel was the first to stand, followed by Vincent. Concern was obvious in her voice and in the sound of her fidgeting.
"My head just hurts a little. It's nothing to worry about," Ciel was quick to assure them. "Sebastian said that this will happen once in a while."
"Where does it hurt?" Vincent questioned, placing a hand on his son's shoulder.
Ciel unintentionally shrank away from the touch. "My eyes and the back of my head. Right here..." He hesitantly gestured to the spot, careful not to touch it.
"And this is normal?" Vincent repeated, trying to assess if he should worry or not. His wife hovered at his side, looking about ready to fret over their son.
"Yeah. It happened to me once before." A slight red tinged his cheeks as Ciel remembered how he and Sebastian had kissed the last time his head hurt, and then how Sebastian had ended up spending the night in Ciel's bed.
Vincent didn't look convinced. "But it's normal?" He wanted a clear confirmation before he sent his son off to bed.
Ciel sighed, wondering how many times he had to repeat himself. "Yes, it's normal, Dad. You can call Sebastian and ask him yourself if you want to."
That seemed to satisfy the worrisome parents and the relaxed back into the plush couch. Rachel waved her son off to bed and blew him a small kiss, Vincent just smiled. They were still concerned but they resisted the urge to fret and follow Ciel up the stairs to his room. Sebastian, the dog, was there waiting by the steps and he would lead Ciel safely to bed. They had to believe that much, for their darling boy was no longer so little. He didn't need the hovering of a mother and father every second and it was something they were slowly beginning to see.
Ciel slowly made his way to his room and got himself ready for bed, pulling back the covers before crawling underneath them. Seb laid down on the floor, staring up at his master as if he could sense the inner turmoil he was going through.
Ciel curled up and closed his eyes. He was tired, but he had a feeling that sleep might be a while in coming. So he began to count backwards in his head from one hundred. By the time he reached twenty-three, he was asleep, drifting slowly to a place filled with torments.
It was three something, or so the neon of the digital clock flashed. Rachel only glanced at it for a second as jumped from the bed, Vincent already sitting up behind her. The screams that filtered from the hall had her heart racing.
How many nights had it been since she had been woken by the distress of her son? Too many, and Rachel wondered if she had become too relaxed. Had she thought, hoped, that Ciel had gotten past the night terrors?
Vincent was the first to reach Ciel's room, flinging the door open and striding to his son's bedside. Years of experience had taught him not to touch Ciel when he was like this, even though it was extremely difficult to see him so tortured. All Vincent wanted to do was take Ciel in his arms and hold him close, but the last time he had tried that, Ciel, in his nightmare induced terror, had bitten his arm and it had required a few stitches.
"Ciel, wake up. It's okay, you're home. You're safe," Vincent urged Ciel, who was tossing back and forth on the bed, alternating between whimpers and screams. He looked helplessly up at Rachel. "God, I hate it when it's this bad."
Rachel's hand hung over Ciel, but she was forced to jump back when a fist came flying at her. "I thought he was over this," she cried, fresh tears leaking down her face. It was so hard to see her son like this, so helpless despite his age. Ciel looked like a small child and not the eighteen year old that he truly was.
"I don't know if he'll ever truly be over it," Vincent replied softly. "We both know what happened to him. All we can do is just be there when he needs us."
The next few minutes were spent trying to awaken Ciel without terrifying him further. Finally, Ciel's eyes snapped open and he sat up with a cry of alarm, his sightless gaze flashing around the room.
"Ciel?" Vincent asked cautiously, hand outstretched towards his son.
"Dad?" He whispered, his body relaxing slightly.
Rachel was at Ciel's side before Vincent could have taken a single step. Her arms were flung around the boy and pulling him into her chest. Ciel was warm in her arms, but shaking as if half frozen. She could not even begin to imagine what frights had plagued the boy tonight, nor did she wish to know. For if she did, Rachel feared that she would break along with her delicate child.
Vincent placed his hand on Ciel's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, Ciel jumping slightly at the gesture. "You okay, Ciel?"
The blue-eyed boy shook his head. "Not really. But I don't want to talk about it," he added. "I know that talking about it is supposed to help, but it won't. I'll just have to relive it again."
Neither mother nor father pushed. What parent wanted to make their child suffer, even if doctors upon doctors had insisted that Ciel had to talk about his problems. They didn't know what it felt like, how it was to live with a dark past. Nor did they understand how it felt to be a parent to a child who had been exposed to such horrors.
There was nothing for Rachel or Vincent to do but to stand as a silent pillar of strength. If Ciel needed to lean against one of them, then he was more than welcome to. But they would never force anything upon Ciel, not when the boy had far too much forced upon him already.
"Do you want something to drink?" Vincent asked, and Ciel shook his head.
"I just want to go back to sleep," Ciel murmured tiredly.
"Okay. Call us if you need anything." Vincent smoothed back his son's hair as he laid back down. Wrapping an arm around Rachel's waist, he led her from the room, both of them casting one last look at Ciel before going back down the hallway to their own room.
Ciel tossed and turned for the next five minutes, attempting to find a comfortable position so he could sleep again. But every time he felt himself drifting off, a memory would force itself into his mind, jolting him awake again. He sat up, holding his head in his hands. He knew that his parents had said to call them if he needed anything, but while he would have done that a few weeks ago, it was not his parents that he wanted now.
It was Sebastian.
Ciel wasn't entirely sure why, but being with the doctor calmed and comforted him. It was almost as if Sebastian had the magic touch that could erase any horrible memories and chase away the bad dreams. The only thing was he didn't have Sebastian here. He was at home, not at the hospital. He chewed on his lower lip before remembering that Sebastian had saved his phone number in Ciel's cell phone.
He quickly snatched his phone from his dresser, and with shaky fingers, pushed the right button to call Sebastian. He pressed the phone to his ear, holding his breath as second thoughts washed over him. It was late, and Sebastian was probably asleep in bed after a long day of work. He shouldn't bother the older male like this.
Four rings and the deep sleep soaked baritone of Sebastian leaked through the phone. He mumbled something at first and then seemed to fully awaken a moment later. "Hello?" He said. "Hello, Ciel?"
"Sebastian..." was all Ciel managed to say before tears slid down his cheeks, and a choked sob cut off the rest of his reply.
"Are you okay?" Sebastian was fully awake now, voice laced with concern. This was the first time Ciel had ever called Sebastian outside of professional calls.
"No. I-I had a nightmare, and it was horrible." Ciel squeezed his eyes shut as if that would halt the oncoming slew of memories and clutched the phone tighter.
There was a short silence followed by the sound of Sebastian moving around in his bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. "Or would you rather we talk about something else?" Despite the time, Sebastian had no desire to hang up on the boy. Ciel needed him and what else could he do but be there for him when needed, even if that meant losing out on sleep when he needed to be up in two more hours.
"Something else. Anything else," Ciel said desperately. "How was your day?"
Sebastian spared no time in answering. "It was alright. Would have been better if you'd been there. But I only had a few appointments to suffer through," he said in gentle tones.
"That's good. I wish you were here," Ciel admitted softly, a blush on his cheeks. "I don't know why, but I always feel safe when you're around."
"Just close your eyes and imagine me there with my arms around you," Sebastian whispered. He wasn't sure how much comfort he could give the boy when they were so far apart. A comforting voice could only do so much. "Think about tomorrow. You'll see me then and I'll hold you for as long as you like."
"That sounds good," Ciel spoke after a moment. His voice already sounded calmer, and he felt as though he could relax once more. "I'm sorry for calling so late..."
There was a chuckle and then Sebastian spoke again. "There isn't a problem. I'm just sorry that you had to go through what you did. If it'll help you, then you are free to call me at whatever time you please."
A smile spread across Ciel's face then, and he had to bite down hard on his lip to keep from giggling. "Okay. Thank you, Sebastian." A yawn escaped his mouth, and his eyelids drooped. The adrenaline rush he'd received from the night terror was beginning to ebb away, leaving exhaustion behind in its wake.
"Tired?" Sebastian questioned at hearing the quick intake of breath. He could say he was feeling close to sleep himself, but he would not allow himself to leave Ciel just yet. "Sleep, and I'll stay on the phone so you won't be alone."
"Thank you," Ciel whispered again. He knew that he was expressing his thanks quite a bit tonight, but he was grateful to Sebastian for being so patient and understanding, especially when the doctor could have easily said that he was trying to sleep so he could work the next day. It was on the tip of his tongue to say so to Sebastian, but sleep was pulling at him. He snuggled under the covers, carefully placing his phone beside his head. His eyes drifted closed, and soon all Sebastian could hear was the sound of Ciel's even breathing.
The phone was set to the side resting on Sebastian's pillow, the green on light still blaring. He wouldn't hang up, not now even though Ciel's peaceful breaths could be heard over the receiver. With one last smile, Sebastian closed his eyes and settled himself back into bed. Sleep came quickly once more as he was lulled to sleep by the sweet sounds of Ciel's dream filled sighs.