"Kai, what are you doing?" I asked my little brother curiously as we sat in our backyard.
He looked at me and held up a sketchbook. "Drawing. What are you doing?"
I pointed to my head. "Thinking." His eyes became worried. I loved that my brother, though younger than me, worried like a parent. Maybe even more so.
"What about?" I let out a humorless laugh as I laid back in the grass and ran my hands over the green blades. I looked at the clouds over head and imagined I could see Hikaru and Kaoru in them. They were all I had been able to think about when I had nothing to keep my mind busy over these past two years. I never let Mom or Takai or Dad know about what happened. I told them that we just never saw each other anymore because of school.
"Nothing… everything."
He put a hand over his heart. "That's some philosophical stuff." I threw a handful of grass at him and he covered up his drawing. I laughed though. Takai had that way about him that made my mind leave the thought of the Hitachiins behind and want to move on. It was my stupid heart that kept bringing them back though.
I hated this so much. I needed them around to keep myself sane. That, or I needed something to keep myself distracted at least during daylight hours. I sat up and Takai brushed the grass I had thrown on to my head. "I think I'm going to join the track team," I announced. He looked at me like I was crazy. "Why not? I like running and then I can stop being so "philosophical"."
He laughed. "Maybe that is a good idea then." I stood up an pushed him over.
"You're so mean!" I said while laughing with him.
There's something about Izumi that always makes me smile. It is also the one thing that makes others look at her weird. She's not afraid to be herself which just so happens to be a manga obsessed, out-going, strange, fun person. I was glad that we were able to work with partners on our history questions today, I needed to talk to her. "Yessum?" She asked as she sat down next to me. I also loved how I didn't have to say anything for her to know I needed to talk to her.
"We have to do something this weekend to celebrate," I whispered since we were supposed to only be talking about history. She smiled brightly and accidentally let out an excited squeal. Mr. Kazinuki cleared his throat audibly over the low roar of voices in the room. Everyone quieted down.
Izumi put on an innocent yet apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, but history just really excites me." There were a few laughs from the guys that were immature enough to think "excites" in a sexual manner. I rolled my eyes at them. Mr. Kazinuki nodded toward her and looked back down at the stack of papers he had been grading. "So what were you thinking exactly?" She asked while wiggling her eyebrows at me.
"I have no idea. We could throw a wild party, my parents aren't home this weekend…" She laughed at my suggestion. "Seriously though, I have no idea whatsoever." She grinned evilly and I leaned away from her slightly. I didn't like that look.
"We will go to your house. We will watch movies. We will gorge on every unhealthy food imaginable. We will talk about boys. We will throw things at your brother. We will stay up all night telling ghost stories. We will have fun and you will not complain." I thought for a moment.
"What kind of movies?" She laughed, once again causing Mr. Kazinuki to draw attention to us.
She stood up and held her opened book over her head. "Oh beloved history Gods, thank you for bringing me into this wonderful class!"
"Miss Senmatsu, that's enough. Either keep it down or move back to your own seat," he warned. She slowly sat back down in the chair she had pulled up to my desk and made a motion of zipping her lips. As soon as he also returned to his previous endeavors, I lightly punched her in the arm. She rubbed it in silent anger. She really didn't want to go back to her seat -which just so happens to be on the other side of the room. I looked down at my opened textbook and felt my brain melt.
"I hate history…" I grumbled at the book. "Yeah, I said it. I hate you."
"Are you talking to your book?"
I turned around in my seat and looked at Haruhi. "Yes, yes I am. Thank you for asking." I leaned my head down on her desk and sighed heavily. "I hate history, it's so annoying. Why do we have to learn about things that happened hundreds of years ago?"
"Miss Mazawa, pick your head up, this isn't nap time." I lifted my head slowly and resisted the urge to put it back down. "If you stayed awake, maybe you would be passing," he said. Izumi snickered and I glared at her. Unlike Mr. Akimoto, Mr. Kazinuki really didn't like me at all. I figured it was because I really didn't like his class and he knew it. I got in trouble from him a lot in the past and I'm sure there is more trouble to be had in the future.
"If I stayed awake, maybe I would also slip into a coma from boredom…" I mumbled under my breath. Haruhi stifled a laugh and I couldn't help smiling.
"You might not want to talk to her much longer, she'll corrupt you too," Izumi told Haruhi in a hushed yet dramatic voice. I just shrugged. I don't know how right she may be. "Why do you think her brother is so… weird? She got to him."
I rolled my eyes at her and resisted laughing at the face she was making. "I did not, he's just naturally that way," I said as I crossed my arms. "And also hates history more than I do." I said that a little louder, making sure Mr. Kazinuki could hear me. I swear he said a prayer as he looked up at the ceiling. I did laugh then.
"Your dimple is really cute when you laugh…" I stopped laughing and looked at the voice that had said that. I hadn't even noticed that Hikaru and Kaoru were sitting on either side of Haruhi. Why wouldn't they though, she could tell them apart, why wouldn't they hang around her? I think I feel jealous of Haruhi… when did this happen? I don't care that they found someone else, I'm happy that they did. It's what they needed. Someone that they can trust and confide in.
Then the words of what he had said hit me. "You're not allow to look at my dimple Kaoru." I knew it hadn't been Kaoru who said it, it was Hikaru and it was Hikaru that I looked at now, but too bad for him. He looked hurt that I had called him by the wrong name. I felt my lips pull up to a smirk. "I'm sorry, was I wrong? Oh that's right, you're Hikaru, the one that goes around kissing people." I hated that they brought out the worst in me, but if I didn't try and keep them away at the distance they kept me at, my feelings would turn me stupid and I would bend to their will.
"Wait, what happened!" Izumi shouted. Good thing for her, Mr. Kazinuki wasn't in the room. "And you didn't tell me?" She asked quieter. I looked at her and the smirk I had been wearing for Hikaru dropped. I couldn't believe that I upset her, I never wanted to do that, I wasn't going to necessarily tell her either.
"It's not important Izumi…" She gave me a look that said we'd talk about it later.
Sure enough, the final bell rang and Izumi pulled me out of the classroom all the way to a courtyard that was rarely ever used by anyone. "Tell me what happen," she demanded. I put my hands behind my back and pulled on my fingers. "Oh my God, it was that big!" I looked down at my feet. How was I supposed to tell her what happened? I knew she was like in love with them, they were the ones that she was late to practice for.
"Promise you won't get mad?" I said and glanced up at her through my eyelashes. She smiled at me and nodded. "Hikaru kissed me yesterday…" I mumbled. "And then, he told me he loved me." I lifted my head up all the way and looked into her eyes. She was grinning like a fool and a giggle escaped her lips. "What?"
She took my hands and giggled more. "A guy said he loved you and you were worried that I was going to get mad?" She asked loudly. Her smile dropped when she realized that I wasn't joining her in her excitement. "But that's not all is it?"
I shook my head. "He said that was why he and Kaoru ended our friendship. Because they both liked me." Then she started laughing. A loud uncontrolled laugh that made me feel like an idiot for saying anything to her.
"Chise, you were freaking out because not only one boy loves you, but two? And they just so happen to be twins. Ridiculously gorgeous twins, I might add. If anything, I would think that you would be freaking out in a good way…"
I couldn't believe that she really didn't understand. I've told her before about how I used to be with them. Why would she think this was good? I put on a smile. "Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?" She smiled again and started jumping from excitement. "Hey, hey. Please stop while you're holding onto me!" She let go of my hands, but continued jumping.
I couldn't have gotten home fast enough. I just wanted to go to bed and forget the way Izumi reacted to the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Of course, I wasn't able to got to bed. Of course my mom had to act like Super Mom and surprise me with a "party" if it could really be considered a party. Only she, Dad, and Takai were there. If it weren't for the cake on the table, I would have thought it was just time for dinner. "Since your father and I won't be home this weekend, we thought we'd have a little family celebration tonight," Mom said happily. I put on my happy smile and looked at the cake. "Happy 17th Birthday Chise," it read.
"Thanks Mom, thanks Dad," I said.
If anything interesting happened, I wasn't paying attention for it. We ate dinner, and then cake. I vaguely heard laughter every now and then and then I would laugh to try and make them think things were okay.
I went up to my room with one last piece of cake for the night and instantly thought of the kiss with Hikaru. I had been wearing cake after all, how could I not think of it while holding a piece of cake. I couldn't look at it the same anymore and dropped it into the garbage can that was next to my desk. I plopped into the chair and it spun around in a half circle, so I was facing the desk that held my computer and a dozen other various items.
I opened up a drawer and pushed things out of the way until I found what I was looking for. It had been years since I last looked at it or even thought of it. I placed the long since abandoned notebook on the surface of the desk and flipped through the pages of lists. All of them of differences between seemingly identical items. The one page in particular that I had once spent all my time pouring over was the only one that was completely covered and leaking over to the next page.
That page was labeled; Hikaru and Kaoru: Differences. Even now all of these differences were still so obvious to me that I couldn't understand how people didn't notice them right away. A tear slid down my cheek and landed on the paper.
Never in my life have I cried as much as I have over these past few weeks.
Well, I don't think that was too long of a wait... And I really do apologize for ending the previous chapter the way I did. I should have at least added a few more words...
I want to thank Padlock for the idea for this memory and a belated thank you to DemonOfTheRain666 for the idea of the previous memory. Both of you helped a whole lot and I am indebted to you both, if you need anything, just ask and I'll try and help with whatever it is ^^
So, plese review and give me opinions, I live off of your reviews. Literally, they give me the life to write more in a (usually) timely matter.