Heart to Heart

Over the hilltops of trees a village festival was nearing its final hours of celebratory splendor. There were castle feasts that couldn't amount to the cups of sake shared between villagers that night; the potent aroma filled the air like a thick perfume. Many men fell into a drunken slumber on the soft grass while the woman rounded off all their children to the warmth of their huts. A few residents remained awake to begin the clean-up while the man of the hour found himself drifting off into a peaceful sleep once he had his fill of his birthday cake, the entire cake as a matter of fact. Kagome busied herself with gathering whatever food she could salvage to put away into storage; Inuyasha's supposed help was quite the convincing act as he picked his teeth of whatever gourmet dish he recently scarfed down. "Save it, don't eat it!" she pestered.

A few feet away a passive-aggressive wife dragged her womanizing husband out of the pile of mindless females. "Ouch, please not so hard Sango," mumbled Miroku as he struggled to filter the intoxicating gibberish that slipped past his tongue. "Oh I'm sorry," she sarcastically apologized. Despite her delicate condition Sango found the strength to release the iron grip on her husband's robes and instead found her fingers clamping onto his ponytail like a fish to a lure. "Is this better, my dear?" she asked as she began dragging him from ends of his hair much to the amusement of their two eldest daughters as they aided their mother in bringing their father home.

All the villagers welcomed the pleasantries the festivity had to offer; all except one.

After an evening of woozy steps amongst foot-printed dirt a roaring bonfire exerted a comforting heat for one last individual that night. Rather than dance around its alluring flare Rin found herself seated on an old log as she watched the fire's visual performance. Her eyes followed every wave of the flames, and gazed carefully as the embers that were carried off with the breeze diluted into specks of ash; apart of her hoped if she starred long enough that the visions in her head would turn to ash as well. In the end, she only found it pitiful that all she managed to do was compare the color of burning cinder to the eyes of someone she only wished was standing beside her. Beside her, right next to her, across from her; she only wanted him there. She wasn't blind to her foolishness in wanting him back; the stability of her dreams reminded her of the crumbling image of charred wood within the fire's core. Though recognizably difficult he made the decision to keep away from her life.

Then why…

She opened her hand to reveal a white pendent; the necklace he left for her. Buddha only knows how many times she bared her palm to gaze at its pearl-polished design with baffling wonder. The first time she laid eyes on it she questioned if her gift to him had some abnormality of changing color, but she quickly disregarded the thought upon noticing that it wasn't just a matter of different pigment but also different shape. Like a completely opposite style of what she gave to him; after taking in all the subtle variances she concluded it had to be the missing piece to the gift she picked out. Thinking of the two as a whole and she swore she could see a clear picture of the perfectly round shape it would have created. Her mind still raced with questions; first and fore-most was how he came to acquire such a random piece of jewelry. She thought back at the shop-keeper's words.

"You see Miss, my husband was moving a few old crates from our old shop down the road. The other piece that you are looking for was with him and…well I am sorry to say that he just recently gave it to some other fellow."

Rin could barely fathom the notion that the "fellow" happened to be her lord. Perhaps there was another explanation, she thought; perhaps he obtained the necklace from a time long before their trip to the market, and kept it with him till he felt the time was right to give it to her…The more she thought about it the more improbable the idea seemed. Surely, it was the matching piece to the necklace she bought for him; it just had to be.

"My husband acted out of impulse. He said the stranger helped our grandson with his leg, some sort of physician I suppose. My husband said he handed the young fellow the first thing he was able to give, and he wasn't thinking."

Despite everything that occurred that night, given her recent discovery, her lips found the strength to form a tiny smile that was doomed to fall upon her next thought. The corner of her eyes became moist, and she mentally reprimanded herself for allowing her body to leak again. The warmth of the flames dancing before her dried out whatever tears were starting to form, and for that she was grateful she chose to sit where she did. Why did he bestow such a gift to her in the end? Why the secrecy? Why not give it to her during their…talk? Lastly, why add yet another piece of himself for her to keep; as if the memories alone weren't painful enough to bare the weapon that connected their lives was a tear-jerker all on its own.

Her eyes fell from her hand to the Tenseiga that leaned beside her. Keeping such an object out of view was a challenge throughout the night, but somehow she managed to keep track of it all the while avoiding curious questions especially from Inuyasha or Kagome. Needless to say, her mind was too far gone in evaluating the sudden turn of events she hadn't much room left to focus on anything other than the sword near her feet and the necklace in her hand.

"Do I get rid of it?" she asked herself.

That question marched to the forefront of her mind more times than she could count. He made mention of keeping the Tenseiga, but never this. If she had to guess-if she really knew him like she thought she did-he would probably have her do with it as she pleased. The more she thought on the idea the more she concluded that would have been his exact response word for simple word. She didn't have to keep it; it's not like it held any precious memories for her. She even found it possible that her receiving it was an accident; maybe he thinks he gave her the black one. The thought lingered till she decided to stop with the excuses; 'accident' was a word hardly known to him, and Rin couldn't shake the feeling that he knew very well what he did.

The white alabaster coating glistened a light shade of orange when held up against the fire, and it had her visualizing the white locks of his hair glowing when she used to light candles near him. She remembered the few nights spent on the roof of her hut; rarely did he make an appearance inside her home, but the place didn't matter to her. A small candle burned at a slow pace between them, and she watched with admiration as his face tilted toward the shimmer of stars. His eyes read the patterns told to them; stories passed down to him from his father and his father before. His voice was soft during those night, and his hands would occasionally take hers to pin-point a certain outline she couldn't focus on. Those were the memories that she feared she'd always live with; the kind where he shared dormant pieces of himself to her-found her presence comforting enough to bring out a side he felt no other worthy of seeing.

Her fingers bunched around the string of the necklace till the bone of her knuckles protruded out. He must have known what this would do to her, and she wanted so desperately to hate him for it. Her eyes tore away from the necklace to instead make contact with the sleeping figure of Kohaku. He lay a few yards from her next to some unfamiliar visitors; his head exhausted from conversation, his legs sore from dancing, and his face was smeared with bean paste as he exerted peaceful snores. Rin couldn't help the petty thoughts that began tearing at her heart; she wanted so badly to hate the man-the demon- she'd come to love so much in this world. To hate him to the point that she'd follow through with his wishes if just to see his face when he returned; or rather if he returned. Apart of her indulged in the idea that he would be hurt to see her fingers intertwine with that of another mans.

She thought Kohaku a reasonable prospect; he was a kind individual with a noble heart, not to mention they shared a childhood past that layered the foundation for their steady friendship. Maybe he could…No, had her mood been any happier she would have chuckled over the silly thought. Sure, when she was younger she found the young slayer's freckled cheeks and bright smile endearing; she'd even go so far to say she had a little crush as most of the village girls back then did. His distant travels never set anything in stone between them; not that Rin believed he would ever have any feelings for her to begin with (she couldn't recall him ever saying anything) and in the end she wouldn't propose the thought of using Kohaku to her advantage just to make Sesshomaru jealous.

"You're human Rin, your heart is meant to love that of a heart that can love in return."

Her brows creased in frustration, and whispered to herself, "Because I'm human…I'm bound only to a human heart?"

Her eyes scanned the soft patches of grass around; with every few married men asleep one bachelor would occasionally stand out to her, and sparked her curiosity to whether or not she could see a future with them; a human. Most of them were farmer's sons that often complimented her for her quick work treating their cuts and bruises; some she knew from her youth and used to play games with them in the village. Others were pronounced swordsmen that waited for the day their obligation took them to war; she recalled how one of them once confessed his attraction to her, and had it not been for his insecure burden to leave for battle he would have courted her immediately…she remembered thanking the heavens for his priorities. Even the headman's son, Yohei, took a fancy to her; at least those were the words from her friend, Saki. The rumor went that he fell victim to discouragement upon seeing all the recently acquired gifts that came into Rin's possession. Gifts from a suitor he presumed, and the poor fellow settled with marrying a daughter of a headman from a neighboring village.

By the end of her observation he head hung low in uncertainty. She supposed she could see herself accepting a villager's proposal; maybe even a traveler so long as they had a kind heart, and understanding disposition toward demons like Inuyasha and Shippo. Filling those requirements had a fuzzy image of a gentle husband outfitted in simple wardrobe appearing in her mind; a dark hair top-knot would outline his head like it did most village men, and by his knees equally dark-haired children would beckon her to them with a call that could only resonate to a mother's ears.

That could very well be her future, she supposed. The image might have curved the edges of her lips when she was small and hoping to recreate the family she once lost, but now what once was a dream seemed to fuel a nightmare that only turned the curve of her lips further down. She couldn't do it; thinking to love one when her heart just accepted her love for another was difficult to say the least. Sure, maybe her husband's hair would be dark like hers, and his eye the same color as her…

The one she loved though; his hair falls past his knees and shines as white as the moon, his eyes the color of a fiery, topaz diamond. He was boorish, tenacious, unpredictable, and tonight proved that he was distances away from the perfect deity her child-like conception long ago perceived. Humans dealt with their inner demons; so for Rin it stood to reason that some demons dealt with inner feelings parallel to that of humans. Apparently, it wasn't an easy feat to come to terms with.

That night she realized she did not love the title that armored him.

No, that night she saw past her profound respect for the renowned dog-demon "Lord Sesshomaru" and found herself face to face with the inner workings of a being know by so few as simply "Sesshomaru" whom found himself torn between the rifts of his subconscious. He let loose his vulnerability to her: his worries, his doubts, and most of all his suffering which ultimately showcased his imperfections. Would she be crazy to admit that it only added to the adoration that coursed her veins and made her heart skip a beat? He made his first appearance to her long ago when he unconcernedly inquired about her injured body. He was the one sitting next to her during those nights of star-gazing enchantment, and he was the one who once graciously placed his lips in the center of her forehead.

While she yearned for her stoic, cold lord-the regal personality that elevated her feelings from the ground up-her heart also could not help but react at the rare show of his emotional outpourings during situations good and bad. Maybe because it reminded her that with such sentiments came proof of a heart; a heart for her to love along with that boorish, tenacious, and unpredictable character. She loved him before his departure, she fell deeper in love during his distress, and now that he was gone she concluded she could never fall so madly in love with anyone ever again.

"You've always had a heart…so…is it so wrong to think you could return my-" he throat cracked, and as her tongue gave moisture to her lips she decided to stop talking; fearing the worse to come to her currently dry cheeks. She felt it foolish to ever think he'd return her affections; his actions were encouraging, yes, but the Sesshomaru she loved would never succumb to confessing such feeling with ease-if ever at all. She regretted stepping into such thought provoking territory because now she hurt more than she did before, if that was even possible. She loved him so, and because he turned his back on their feelings-her blatant confessions-her endless tears-she persisted to try despising him.

Get rid of it….

Her anger encouraged her mind to poke at the idea of throwing her pendent into the flames, and after much deliberation she finally gave into the urges once her memories raced back to the exact moment that he vanished into the sky. As if it wasn't bad enough that he left her to pick up the broken pieces of herself alone, it pained her to know that he added the necklace as part of the debris. She timidly complied with her animosity, and tossed the trinket from her hand; the marble-smooth texture left the warmth of her palm, and her eyes mirrored the speck of white that vanished beyond the fire's barrier.

A brief image of him passed through her mind; like an illusion of Hell's flames taking back one of its creations and she was the one who cast him back there.

No!

Her mind went numb in that moment; every drop of hatred that she hoarded drained itself from her heart as soon as she realized what she had done. The hand that currently trembled outward acted on its own accord as it then gripped the jagged texture of the log she sat on, and gave her body all the push it needed to dive the short distance to the mound of burning ashes outlining the fire. Her knees hit the hard ground; her kimono was undoubtable stained with black soot, but still her hands made quick work sweeping the burning cinders around until she found any trace of white mineral or burning string.

She flinched at the pain scorching through the pads of her fingers, but still she continued stroking the dirt all the while picking up twigs to poke at the fire. Her hands would reveal ugly blisters by morning, but she felt she'd been through far worse tonight. Several seconds passed, and just as she felt her eyes sting due to yet another hopeless endeavor the tip of a wooden bow passed through her line of sight. The worn-out weapon slipped into the flames, and dug around the fire's core till it resurfaced from the heat with a charred string-barely whole-as it looped through a surprisingly undamaged ornament.

"Ye be looking for this, child?" spoke the concerned voice of her old caretaker, Kaede. The elderly priestess stood with her back hunched over; one hand wove tight around the center of her bow-staff to lean on while the other hand was routinely kept behind her back. Her body seemed tired as she stood up against the fire's light, and her skin looked as frail as rice paper.

"Lady Kaede?" Rin spoke with surprise; her eyes settled on her necklace, and after realizing her hesitation she quickly took the pendent into her hands all the while remaining mindful of its heated, outer coating. "Thank you."

The priestess nodded her head in acknowledgment, and swiftly turned her body to walk the few steps before she found rest on the same log her young charge previously sat on. "I thought you were going to turn in early?" Rin asked, her position remained kneeling on the ground until Kaede beckoned her toward the log.

"This old woman would have to be dead to sleep through all the noise that transpired this evening," she chuckled, but Rin found no humor in her joke, "Besides, I heard ye scrabbling around near the kettle."

"Forgive me if I woke you," Rin sat on the log, a heavy sigh balanced on the edge of her lips, "I was making a cake for Kohaku; you know, the pastry dish that Kagome always makes for us on our birth date celebrations."

"That be a kind gesture," the old woman praised; unfazed by the look of worry spreading across her ward's face. It was only last summer that Rin recalled her guardian falling at the hands of her mysterious disease; Kagome took it upon herself to give a rough diagnosis as to what their elderly associate had. Though the young priestess stated many times that she didn't have the proper equipment to be sure; she still informed Rin of the medical term hailed from the land she had come from; a name Rin had never heard before and could barely pronounce. All she remembered was Kagome's peculiar description of it being a disease in the blood, and that there was-unfortunately-no way to treat it. To this day Rin convinced herself if she tried hard enough at mixing herbal remedies she'd eventually find a solution, but for now she kept to Kagome's simple orders of having Kaede rest at any given opportunity.

"Lady Kaede, please try and get some sleep," Rin soothingly coxed, "Kagome says you need all the rest you can manage if you ever hope to get better. I'll have Ami make you some tea and-"

"Ami is gone," came her impassive response, and Rin's eyes grew wide with disbelief.

"She's what…gone?!" Rin found herself on her feet again as she overlooked the face of her companion. Ami had come to them during the fall season; a young girl that looked to be about fourteen years of age and apparently had a past run-in with Sesshomaru that left the adolescent with the impression that he was her soulmate sent from heaven. She came with no family, and hardly any supplies other than the clothes on her back so-naturally-Rin and Kaede offered their hut for her. The extra set of hands were often of help, but her juvenile behavior left Rin feeling like fate just sent her the little sister she never wanted. Hearing of her departure truly was a tough issue to accept; especially when she felt she was making progress tearing down the young girl's rough shell.

"A foolish child she be," Kaede frowned, "I though it peculiar when I caught her looking into my quarters, and leaving without so much as a step inside. Next I see she's packing what little belongs to her; she must have scrapped together what she could from tonight's platters, and before I knew it she took off into the night." Rin remained quiet as she reseated herself; her gaze fixated on her elder's depiction of what transpired while she was weeping in the meadow. "She was with me while I was preparing the cake," Rin spoke next, her brows arched with grief, "She didn't say anything…I don't understand…?"

There was a stillness that settled into the air, and Rin looked to her keeper with curiosity as to her sudden silence. "What do you think?"

"Perhaps," Kaede gaze drifted to the poorly hidden sword that lay fallen at her feet, "Perhaps the girl's fears were confirmed when she laid eyes on this." The edge of her bow made gentle taps against the hilt of Tenseiga, and once Rin's eyes fell to the contact made between weapons her hand rushed to pick up the sword; her nervousness as plain as the blade lying in the dirt.

"He asked me to hold it for him," she fretfully responded, "He said he'll be back for it."

Her words carried some truth, yet the guilt of secrecy still pinched at her stomach. Deep down she knew it was useless to try and cover up the obvious torture painted on her face. She long ago considered other's pity to be a poor excuse for comfort, and thought to avoid having so much fuss directed towards her all at once. It would seem she wasn't going to make it to morning without opening up to at least one person. That person ended up being the priestess-the teacher-the friend who took it upon herself to offer her home to a little girl who thought she'd never feel the warmth of a mother's guidance ever again-until Kaede's caring lectures and encouraging wisdom became a constant in her life.

"Sesshomaru is gone," Kaede deduced; her words formed that of a declaration rather than an interrogation. The elderly woman's clever insight looked right through Rin's poor excuse for a cover-up, and as a result the younger woman fell into an embarrassing loss for words.

"Is it so easy to tell?" Rin finally admitted, wondering if any others had caught wind of her sorrow and put two and two together.

"It be ye demeanor that told me rather than the sword."

Rin shifted her observant stare to her trembling knees, and her hands involuntarily bunched the fabric atop her thighs. She felt foolish for trying to leave her close friends with the impression that everything was alright, and knew that sooner or later they would question her unexplainable mood swings.

"I presume he left ye the necklace too?" Kaede noted the similarity to that of the gift her ward described she picked out for the dog demon.

Rin answered quickly this time; her mind exhausted with coming up with excuses as she swiftly nodded her head. Her thumbs fumbled with the marble coating of her necklace; the outer shell had since become cool to the touch. "It's a gift…," her fingers entwined; the Tenseiga was left to lean on its own against the exterior of the log. The pendent was cocooned within her palms as she lifted her hands to the center of her chest-expressing her undeniable attachment to something she hadn't even worn around her neck yet, "…I guess." Half-lidded eyes focused in on her gesture, and Kaede couldn't help but feel sorry for her young acolyte.

"Do ye feel ye are to blame for his leave?" she asked; and Rin responded with a look of perplexity, "Is that what persuaded ye to throw his gift into the fire?" Her one, good eye then fell to the punctured holes ripped through the shoulder of her ward's clothing, and her eye peered, "Is he responsible for that?"

"No…," she retorted as she tried answering every question at once, "I-I mean yes…well, I mean…It's not that simple," her eyes filled with as much misapprehension as the one she was talking to. How could she explain a situation when Rin was still in the midst of trying to piece it together herself?

"You see," her eyes shone with un-spilled tears, "I was the one who…who thought it would be alright if things were to remain blissful between us." She gulped to keep the drops forming in the corner of her eyes from falling; this was why she avoided talking about such a subject too soon. "He…I supposed he didn't see things the way I did and…" she took a much needed breath of air, "and said leaving would be bet-"

"Better for ye both…" Kaede finished; already knowing which direction the conversation was going, and Rin found her insight astounding, but her look of wonder quickly diminished back to discontent as her hand reached for her shoulder blade.

"This…he didn't meant it he…he was remorseful," She wasn't sure which came off as more deplorable; the fact that she hadn't a good enough excuse as to why he hurt her, or that she was mimicking the very words spoken by few woman of the village who showed variance signs of physical abuse from the man of the household. Rin hated to think that she put herself in the same situation, but deep down she believed it wasn't-though it certainly sounded otherwise. A long moment passed and neither said a word until Kaede began verbally expressing her trail of thought.

"If leaving ye with us is what Lord Sesshomaru thought was best, then best is what ye will receive."

Rin was speechless as she looked wide eyed at her caretaker; she was sure Kaede would caution her for putting up with such a precarious creature. Thus, she did not expect to hear words such as those, and they kept progressing the more Kaede opened her mouth.

"I sensed ye care for the demon lord, but rest assure there be others that ye will come to care for just as much. This village be poor, but its quality of good men is rich. Ye've now the opportunity to present ye-self as a woman worthy of becoming one's wife and-"

"Kaede," Rin interjected, how rare it was for her to drop the priestess's honorific title and Kaede saw a glaze of seriousness reflect off the younger woman's eyes like none she thought she'd ever seen before.

"I love him."

Kaede gripped her bow-staff with as much strength as she could muster, and deliberately looked passed Rin's declaration to try and reason with what-to her-was still a child's hopeless crush. That look she exerted though…Kaede was now certain she'd seen it before, but couldn't remember where.

"Aye," she nodded, "I am aware that ye feelings for Lord Sesshomaru are-"

Her words were cut off once again.

"Sesshomaru," Rin corrected, her look of fortitude was unwavering.

"I love Sesshomaru."

There it was; like as if the sudden breeze had carried with it a forgotten memory Kaede lost track of. Rin's spirited stare brought her back to a time when the grey-haired woman was very young and very confused as to her elder sister's outlandish decision to give up her positon as head priestess of the village. When confronting Kikyo in the dead of night Kaede saw Rin's gaze reflect her sister's eyes as she once wordlessly expressed her commitment to Inuyasha. Kaede knew right then that any talk of another man would slip in one curved ear and out the other; her Rin was no longer a child and her feelings were set.

The news didn't ease her concerns; the priestess heard too many unfortunate tales revolve from the actions of Inuyasha or Jinenji. The hardships they had to overcome, and above all the suffering they had to endure with a loss of a parent(s) along the way. Few half-demons roamed the land, and Kaede would put her position as priestess on the line to deduce that none of those pitiful creatures ever had the support of both parental figures to guide them. The old woman knew exactly why that was, and wondered if Rin was oblivious to the cruelty life had to offer to those who sought out unmentionable ties with creatures not bound by the same world.

"But, I know you're right," came Rin's sudden proclamation, an assembly of words that left Kaede stunned as her company continued painting her a portrait of the worries that lurked in the young woman's heart. "I admit my feelings, but in the end there's still so much I don't know about him. Things about his past-ambitions of his future that I shouldn't be concerned with but I am…I might never have known he even had a mother had she not been the one to make an appearance with me near, and Jaken was the one who long ago informed me of his father's passing…"

Rin stood up, her lips weren't finished and now her body couldn't help but join in expressing her own set of difficulties. She walked short paces back and forth from her listener's line of sight; her hands drew random patterns in the air as she talked, and her eyes jumped continuously from one direction to the other.

"I loved it…It was like a dream I…I was oblivious to the outside world so long as we were in each other's company and…and I thought we could make a life out of that ignorance, but…I've never been so wrong…tonight the world made me see it."

A pink tongue swiped across her upper lip; her eyes blinked as she turned her head to the sky.

"There's too many differences that separate us; things that relate to our ranks in life, our species…and our mortality. He shoulders a pride that could rival all the warlord's in the country, and here I only shoulder the weight of bamboo baskets and water pails. I'm weak when compared to others…I lack Sango's assertiveness and Kagome's spiritual skills, and for that I know many would use my safety to take advantage of him. He could split the land in half if he wanted to; the ground could be coated in any blood he so chooses, but I've seen how he takes his hand from his sword for me…How could I have been so blind to not realize the mess I would have made for him?"

Rin took in a much needed breath of air, "I don't like doubting his strength…he wants me to live out all the days I'm offered, and I want the same for him…"

Her fingers curled, and her lips began to quiver the more she spoke.

"He's going to out-live me, you know?" Rin forced a laugh, "Can you believe I never gave too much thought to that until tonight? A lifetime to me must be but a gentle pass of the wind to him… I used to only think about how sad it would be for me to watch his face remain youthful, while my reflection presented someone who was remembering less and getting older…To think I wanted him to stay with me forever."

She couldn't stop the back of her throat from cracking; her pitch turned low, "How cruel of me to offer him a forever that I cannot hold up to…"

A single tear managed to leave a moist trail down her cheek, "How cruel…that I never thought to consider his feelings if he were to see my skin age-my body deteriorate right in front of him…" Rin moved her gaze from the splatter of stars to that of her guardian who looked back with a disheartened stare, "To watch helplessly as I let death take me from him."

A few more tears slipped from the corner of her eyes; her hands made no attempt to wipe them.

"He was right…"

Her figure stood over that of her elder's until the gloom that plagued Rin's heart sent her knees to the ground once again; her damp cheeks immediately sought comfort on the lap of her guardian as her voice drew to a near whisper.

"This is for the better."

Kaede continued watching without interruption; her earlier thoughts as to whether or not Rin was aware of the complications that came with her confession seemed to settle, and the elder woman mentally scolded herself for being so doubtful of her Rin's mature development. However, there was no satisfaction in hearing what she thought to be a promising speech; not when it involved her tears-her sorrow. This was not the way she wanted the younger woman to find her resolve; Kaede anticipated her disappointment and even foresaw her turning her head at the concept of taking a human husband, but she imagined that time would ware down her ward's stubborn behavior and by this time next year the old woman's concern's over Rin's domestic future would have been settled with matrimony.

Now, as she watched that single tear fall to the ground the priestess couldn't help but feel obligated to-instead-lift her hopes. Her worn out fingers shifted to bury within the dark waves of hair as she combed through her locks, just as she'd done years ago when Rin was first left in her care. The sounds of her tears was a sorrowful tune often heard of, but never easily seen. Even now, as Kaede felt moisture seep through the fabric of her bottom layers of clothing, that girlish face still hid from view. In that moment Rin was grateful it had been Kaede that sought her out; she preferred the lap of someone she didn't wish to stand on equal ground with. Kagome and Sango, while empathetic as they were; she hoped they'd one day see past the child who once dotted after them like a chick to a hen. For now Rin rather they not see her-at sixteen years of age-in such a shameful state as weeping on their knees.

"There now," Kaede whispered as her hands finished their ministrations with one final pat to the head. She moved her knees, ultimately signaling for Rin to lift her head from her lap, as she did while aged hands lifted to wipe away any excess droplets that clung to her jawline. "For claiming to know so little; ye seem to understand his situation better than anyone."

"Perhaps," she sniffed, "It still hurts, though," she loosely confessed as she set upright on the ground; her kimono was a perfect mess of stains now.

"That be how ye know it's real," was Kaede's response; her hands lifted Rin's chin till they both focused on each other's eyes, "Ye love for Sesshomaru…is real." For the first time the Priestess acknowledged the seriousness to Rin's feelings; no longer did it present itself as some sort of child-like infatuation to her. Her words seemed to have left an imprint, and after a moment of contemplating those words Rin soon lifted her knees from the ground.

"I don't know where to go from here?"

Was she supposed to go after him like she told herself not to?

Was she supposed to stay like she also told herself not to?

"After all ye've considered, do ye truly wish to never see him again?"

Rin gave the question some thought, until finally she shook her head in disapproval, "I don't know what scares me more; to see him again or to never see him again."

"Would ye rather he be human," Kaede curiously inquired, remembering Kikyo had found salvation in her romance with the solution of turning Inuyasha into a full human through the shikon jewel. "If he be human, ye dreams of a life together would be without interference." The question seemed to catch Rin off guard, but instead of watching the younger woman fall deep into her thoughts again, Kaede instead witnessed a spark in her eyes she thought she'd only ever see in Kagome.

"I love him as a demon," Rin cracked a subtle smile, her reason for a sudden shift in her lips was unknown to Kaede, "I'm grateful he is who he is."

A mentality different than that of Kikyo, and while traces of Kagome's kindness often shined from her-Rin's heart exerted a virtue that was uniquely its own. Kaede imagined one would have to be unique to fall in love with someone as unfriendly as Sesshomaru. The elder woman felt there were no words to convince her young charge to follow her heart, rather, she was convinced Rin would come to that conclusion herself. The fact of the matter was that she was in love, and no matter the doubts that overwhelmed her there was nothing that was going to change that.

"Then there's nothing more for I to tell," she patted the soft rise of her cheek, and used her bow as leverage to lift herself from the log. She knew what she concluded with didn't seem to settle the uncertainty lingering in almond-brown eyes. That's why after announcing her return to the hut Kaede could not help but stop in her own tracks, and call out once more to the woman who was left to ponder her thoughts alone.

"Rin," Kaede caught her attention; her back facing toward the girl, "Though I acknowledge his aid in defeating Naraku, and his unwilling protection over this village during that turbulent time…it be no secret that the demon lord isn't who I would have wanted in ye heart. This old woman has seen some, and heard far more unfortunate endings to those who try and accomplish what ye both realized was to begin. I didn't want ye to experience any of what I heard of…"

Rin lifted her head from the ground, and gazed intently at Kaede's hunched form. She's always known of her guardian's discomfort towards her heart's desires, but never blamed her for not finding solace in the situation. Kaede always kept her opinions to herself, thought her actions gave enough away. She's never said anything hurtful about Lord Sesshomaru, and Inuyasha's description of how it took "the old hag" many years before she was able to trust him, a half-demon, gave Rin plenty of hope that there would come a day that Kaede would look to Sesshomaru as more than a helpful comrade…if she even saw him as that.

"I've often wondered if he told ye about the nights that occurred after ye caught that fatal cold due to being out in that blizzard. My fears clouded my judgment, and this one intervened in ye personal affairs…"

The revelation-needless to say-left Rin turning fully to Kaede with a look of utter disbelief.

"Eight…" the older woman continued before the younger one had any chance to question her. "Eight times I badgered him away from our home; lied about how ye had a long day's work and needed rest, or how ye were occupied with other important matters."

Rin was dumbfounded; her previous mindset that Kaede never coming between them was completely shattered, and Rin succumbed to the irritation of knowing her private matters had been breached, "I never knew…why would you tell him that-how could you do that!?"

Kaede turned her head to offer an apologetic look, "Forgive this foolish, old woman. Before ye decide on your next course of action, ye must know-"

"Eight times I turned him away, and eight times he came back; all for ye…"

Rin's frustration vanished like the flick of a flame blown out; her mouth parted as she listened on.

"I should have expected he to be as persistent as the brother he holds no claim to," Kaede faced her, and felt the young woman before her wasn't the only one that deserved an apology. Sesshomaru had every right to make Rin furious with her, but-to the priestess's surprise-he let it pass. The thought alone made the old woman want to grin; he carried Rin's heart-so of course he wouldn't be too bad of a fellow. "I believe ye both spent those nights on the roof, and the more I heard the sounds of ye happiness the less I intervened."

"We-We were just watching the stars," Rin replied sheepishly as her fingers went to twirl whichever strand of hair she could get her hands on; she blushed, and wondered if Kaede thought they were up to something else-something less innocent. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked.

Kaede's voice rose, "Because if I-the woman he trusted enough to place ye in custody with-couldn't keep him from seeing ye, Rin-"

The rouge coloring appearing on her listener's cheeks was all the incentive Kaede needed to continue.

"Then no premonition of death is going to keep him from ye either."

She saw Rin baffled by her speech; one of her legs even stepped back as her forearm rose to her chest-the necklace most likely still in her palm. "But how can you-"

"It be twice now that he's left ye-" was Kaede's final words of inspiration, "Thus, it should stand to reason that twice he will be back."

Kaede revealed a hopeful smile; one she longed would be mirrored on the face of woman who couldn't begin to understand the severity to which she was loved. Rin continued to stare at her; her eyes a mix of optimistic wonder. Truth be told her companies words of encouragement made little sense if viewed from a logical perspective, but the more she thought on it the more she had to remind herself that there was hardly anything logical about falling in love with a demon.

"Thank you," she managed a weary smile, "Lady Kaede." Next thing she knew her caretaker continued the short walk back to their hut; it would seem it would just be them now-which was just fine with Rin. She settled on the old log once again; this time her back facing the fire and her eyes following Kaede's every step until she was sure she made it home safe. Her mind still raced with wavering impulses, but for now she knew she wasn't going anywhere tonight.

Lord Sesshomaru…

The conversation gave her much to think about, but above all else it only made her miss him even more. Yet, the events that transpired that night still tore at her heart; even if Kaede had gathered a few there were still many pieces left to pick up….

Her eyes looked over the other side of the log and found the Tenseiga still leaning against the bark; speaking of things needing to be picked up.

Her hands reached down and grasped the heavy sheath; ever since she found solitude near the fire she recalled Kirara kept making startling appearances, and for the longest time growled at-what appeared to be-the sword. Perhaps, because it was an unfamiliar demon blade, Rin deduced, and eventually convinced the tiny cat demon to return to keeping watch over her owners. Rin deliberated on the subject, and kept focus on the sword rather than its wielder; or so she tried.

Her hand gave into the temptation of gripping the handle of the sword; its base was warm to the touch, and her eyes closed upon feeling the coarse material that must have been worn down by the pressure of his palm; her fingers couldn't help but caress those particular spots. She finally lifted the metal weapon from its sheath with surprising ease, but needed both hands to support the weight once she held the sword's hilt parallel to her torso; the reflective blade mirrored half of her face and she saw the look of exhaustion set in underneath her eyes; and a flustered coloring still gave a pink hue on her cheeks.

She also saw something else…

There in the fire-or rather across from the fire-a set of golden eyes gazed at her intensely. The wave of flames revealed more of him; the armored chest plate, the white sword at his hip, the orange-lit hair that she was all too familiar with.

Lastly a deep tone of voice traveled to her ears; her name landed with a whisper as she fell captivated at his reflection.

"Rin."

End of Chapter

AN: Forgive me for cutting it short here (it feels really weird to post only half as much as what I used to) in truth I did have a little more written, but here is where I thought it best to stop. One particular reason for the short chapter was that I wanted it known that I wasn't going to leave another long gap between chapters again. If I disappointed anyone with that before, I don't even know where to begin to apologize. I stopped writing out of nowhere and that was random; then I began picking up where I left off a few weeks ago-out of nowhere-and that was random…can't explain.

I'm sorry I couldn't fit their reunion into this fyi: the first part of chapter 9 was written years ago; so coming up with the dialogue and describing the interactions between the main couple feels new to me after so long. The words are flowing slowly, but surely. I'd forgotten how difficulty beautiful Sesshomaru's character is. I just don't want the ending to come off any different than how I have it in my head; can't tell you how many alternate endings to this story got deleted because I didn't like it. I have to remind myself that writing this should be the outlet to calm me when I'm stressed, not be another reason to stress.

The reviews: I honestly didn't imagine I'd get that many after years of what seemed like abandonment. The reviews from chapter 8 I especially felt like I didn't deserve, but couldn't help but smile. The dedication some of you have shown me (you know who you are) must have been the push that got me to writing again, it just took me long enough to feel it. Every feeling I felt when reading something kind left from a reader goes into my writing. I appreciate the compliments-the reviews-the pms, but heaven knowns my hobby still needs a lot of polishing up. This site helped me progress in my writing, and I miss seeing that improvement.

I won't go making promises about upcoming stories, but I do promise an ending to this one. The final reason I wanted to cut short here was because I have to attend a work seminar (vacation) that should last about a week. That, plus the couple of days it takes just to write about 7 thousand words give or take if I'm busy-I just didn't want to find myself updating by next month. If it's strongly preferred that I stick it out with ten thousand+ words per chapter than I can go back to making that happen too…but idk if I can update a little after just one week.

Thank you to any who took the time to read this story, and an even bigger thank you to any who decide to leave a review. Till next time!