June 2011

The hockey season was over. All the trophies had been hoisted, all the hands and shoulder and asses clapped, all the confetti had been thrown, all the fans had screamed themselves hoarse in joy. Now it was over and everything was packed away. Bobby always felt a little adrift when hockey season ended. It was such a huge part of his life every year, and without it, the rest of time felt a little colorless. His wrestler friends had tried hard to get him into other sports, but nothing would ever take the place of hockey. Nothing.

One night at a bar in Orlando he was deep in discussion with EY about their respective teams. One of the multiple reasons why they were so close was because they were both Canadian fans of US teams; EY always kidded Bobby that he had no excuse. They were going back and forth about their goalie problems and playing hot stove for at least an hour. EY was going on at length about Pekka Rinne's goaltending style when someone lurched into the back of Bobby's chair. As he looked back to make sure there was nothing going on, he caught sight of AJ, who was checking out the disturbance himself. They both looked away. Bobby's face fell back into the lines of misery he'd been wearing for weeks. EY noticed and leaned forward. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just saw somebody I didn't want to see."

"You want to leave? We can go to a different bar."

"Yeah, let's go."

EY went to push back his chair, and then Mickie James tapped him on the shoulder. She gave him a warm hug and waved hello to Bobby. EY looked over at his friend and said, "five minutes?"

"Yeah, sure," said Bobby. He looked over at one of the giant TVs, which was showing a Rays game, and pretended to be interested in that for a while. When he got bored - which didn't take long - he risked another glance around the bar. AJ was talked animatedly with Alex Shelley. He turned back to the game.

EY was as good as his word. After five minutes, he told Mickie he'd catch her later and they'd talk another time. "We gotta go," he told her, "too many creepy stalkers tonight."

"I know the feeling," she replied with a crooked smile. "Chin up, Bobby. See you two tomorrow."

But before EY could even turn around, Alex was waving at him furiously. EY sighed. "Awww, I haven't seen Alex in a while now. I'll make it quick, okay?"

"Heard that before."

"I'm not gonna let you down, buddy. Don't worry." And EY was off, slipping into the crowd. Bobby finished off the last of his beer and ordered another one. He knew that once Alex and EY got going about some video game or other, twenty minutes could pass like a breath. He wasn't driving anyway, might as well get trashed tonight while he waited. It would pass the time. He looked back at the baseball game and tried to lose himself in it.

His beer arrived and he was taking a swallow when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, expecting to get up and leave with EY, but instead, AJ stood there with a carefully neutral look on his face.

"Where's EY?"

"He and Alex are talking about Arkham City. They're gonna be a while."

"Is that a game? Why aren't you over there talking to them about it? Isn't that your thing?"

"It is, and trust me, it was hard to tear myself away. But this is probably the only place I can talk to you without being suspected of something."

"Make it fast. I don't really want to talk to you."

AJ sat down and watched the game for a bit. Finally, he said, "I'm sorry for the way things turned out."

"Is this another one of those 'I'm sorry I ran away' moments? We've already had one of these. Is this how you think things are gonna go? Something happens, you run away, and then you come back to me and I forgive you because I have the memory of a goldfish? Do you really think that's how I want to spend my time, waiting for you to be nice to me and pretending I don't have any feelings whatsoever and only live to get fucked by you one way or another? Because I have news for you AJ; that's not going to happen. I'm not going to play that game."

"You practiced this, didn't you?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"Yeah, you did. I mean, I hear what you're saying, and you're right to an extent, but I can tell you totally practiced that."

Bobby snorted and deliberately turned his back to AJ. AJ sighed and leaned forward so that only Bobby could hear what came next. "You're right, like I said. I'm sorry that I cut you off the last time, and I promise, that was the very last time. I've been thinking about a lot of things, Bobby, and I think I've come to a decision and made my peace with it."

"Good for you. I don't care. I'm done. Do you know what I did that night? I got a bottle of bourbon and I drank and cried until I threw up. I slept in my fucking car because I couldn't stop crying long enough to drive. Two heartbreaks in one day was too much for me. So fuck off. I'm not trying anymore."

"Okay. I understand." AJ leaned back and drank more of his soda. He played with his straw a little and watched the game. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bobby shaking very, very slightly, and if Bobby was actually shaking, that meant he was furious beyond words. He sighed and reached into his pocket.

"Bobby, I know you're very angry, and I don't blame you. I'm leaving now. I want to talk to you more, but I don't want to get either of us in trouble. I will say that I really miss your company and friendship, and I wish we could still hang out sometimes. I...well...I want you to understand why I did what I did, see if we're going to avoid each other forever, why I'm jealous of your life...things like that. I'm leaving something with you. If you don't use it, it's okay, but I really wish you would." He slid something beneath Bobby's arm and got up, heading back over to EY and Alex.

Bobby pretended nothing happened for a couple of minutes, then casually moved his arm and looked at the object. It was AJ's room key with a note attached - "608, before 1 am". He slammed his arm back down and stared at the TV, his mouth turned down and his anger back up to boiling point. The fucking nerve of this guy. Did AJ really think he was going to just smile his way back into being friends with him? He grabbed the card and shoved it into his back pocket, figuring he'd flush it down a random bar toilet later.

Someone sat down at the table behind him. He curled his lip and whirled around to give AJ another piece of his mind, but it turned out to be Tommy. "How's it going Bobby?" Tommy asked. He was past squiffy and well on his way to being drunk. "You look mad as hell, but then again, you always look mad. What's up bro?"

Bobby wouldn't give anything away to this guy. "I hate baseball. Fucking Rays are everywhere. Can't we put the news on or something? I'm sick of seeing this team everywhere. Damn. Kinda wish hockey was a year round thing, you know? And then I've got creepy stalkers coming up to me and trying to hit on me."

"I know the feeling."

"Yeah, I'm sure you do. What are you doing here? Where's James?"

"He's around somewhere, I don't know. I can't come over and talk to you? You're just here sitting by yourself. I thought I'd come over and say hi."

Sure you did, Bobby thought.

"Well I'm bored as shit, waiting for EY to get back here so we can leave. This place is shit tonight."

"Everybody's here though, I mean, you that mad that you want to go off somewhere in a corner and cry? You can go back to your hotel room for that. Might as well stay. We'll do some shots."

"Uh. No?"

Tommy looked confused. "You're saying no to shots? What kind of punk are you?"

Before Bobby could answer this dumb question, EY came back, all hustle and bustle. "Dude, sorry about that. This new Batman game is gonna be amazing, bro, it's like got all this hidden content and it's awesome. But alright, let's go. Hey Tommy, sorry, we can't stay."

"Yeah, yeah. I'mma find some shots." Tommy finished his drink and lumbered off, leaving his glass on the table. Bobby glared after him. "I can't stand that guy."

"He's no prize, that's for sure. Come on, let's go."

Two hours later the clock was ticking towards midnight and Bobby was back in his room. He took his jeans off and was cleaning out his pockets when he found AJ's hotel key card. Damn. Forgot to throw it in the toilet. Hell, he should have given it to one of those sexy fans and told her to come up tonight. That would have really pissed AJ off. He threw it on his night table and went back to neatly organizing himself for the next day's travel. As he packed, his eyes kept going back to the card. He rolled up a shirt and stuffed it angrily down the side of his suitcase, trying to remember all the reasons why seeing AJ was a bad idea. His dick, on the other hand, thought it was the greatest idea ever, and kept popping up to remind him of it.

"I am not," Bobby said out loud, "going to give in. I don't care how good he looks. Not giving in."

All too soon the entire suitcase was packed, and he still had a raging erection. Fuck it, he thought, I'll jerk off and go to bed. He pushed his boxers down and started to furiously jerk off, wanting to have a quick orgasm so he could sleep in peace. His thoughts strayed to one of the last times they had together...lying in bed with AJ, AJ's pants and boxers on the floor, Bobby's pants on but unzipped. He remembered closing his hand around AJ's rigid dick and stroking it, and in the present, his own hand slowed. He remembered AJ moaning, and covering his mouth with his own. AJ's tongue hot in his mouth, AJ's back arching with pleasure, AJ's hands fumbling into Bobby's jeans and tugging out his dick, their strokes both firm and fast. He remembered AJ telling him he loved him, and him whispering that he loved him too just as much...

Bobby's hand froze. He passed his other hand over his face and thought, fine. He pushed himself up and dressed in a hurry. He knew he was going to regret this in the morning, but hell, if it meant AJ in his arms again for a little while, he'd save all his qualms for later. He grabbed the key card and went out the door.

AJ's room was one floor down. He got off the elevator and turned...right into James and Tommy outside their room trying to work the door lock. "Fuck!" he said under his breath, and took a step back into the elevator, but Tommy saw him and said, "Hey! Bobby! A little help here, bro?" Bobby had no choice but to walk up and help them out. James handed the key over and Bobby opened it quickly.

"Thanks man, 'preciate it," slurred James. He stumbled in the door, but Tommy hung back and gave Bobby the stink eye. "What're you doin' down here?" he asked.

"I came to see if I could talk to James about something, but he's pretty trashed, so forget it. I'll see him in the morning."

"Nah, wait Bobby, I'm here. You need me? I'm here man. What's up?" James was leaning on the door for support, but his eyes were bright and alert. "You gotta come in and sit down though, I ain't doing the standing thing too well."

"Well, um, it's kind of private."

"Fuck off somewhere for 20 minutes, Tommy."

"What the fuck? I'm fucking tired. Why don't you two go to his room?"

Both James and Bobby glared at Tommy, who tried to stare back at both of them but gave it up after a bit. "Fine. I'll get another fucking drink. But don't take too long." He stomped off down the hallway to the elevator, and stared Bobby down until it came.

"Don't mind him," said James, "he got shot down tonight a couple times. Come in. You can tell me while I'm lying down, right? Yeah. Good."

Bobby came in and sat on the bed. James took off his boots and laid down on the other bed. "Alright, start talking. It's about you and AJ, I already know."

"Yeah. He came to talk to me tonight in the bar. Gave me his room key and said he wanted to talk. I mean, I have to sneak in there anyway to make sure nobody sees us, but damnit, I don't want to go. I mean I do, but I don't. I don't want to get jerked around again. I thought that I'd be cool with it, but to be honest, it hurts more than I thought."

"I understand."

"So I should go back upstairs, right?"

"Course not."

"Huh?"

"Look, Bobby, I don't mean to disrespect your feelings or anything, but it's like you expect AJ to put aside 30 years of being religious because of the magical power of your dick. I've seen your dick. It's never sparkled. So forget about having a nice drama free relationship with him because it's not going to happen for a long time. Maybe down the road, but not now. If you want him - and I know you do, don't lie - you're gonna have to hold his hand and wait for him to settle down. It sucks, yeah. It hurts and it's gonna keep on hurting. He's hurting too, you know. He spent all last week in my ear talking about how he was going to hell and he betrayed himself and all that."

"He talked to you?"

"Of course we talked. You think this big ass cross about my neck is for shits and giggles? I'm not a fundie like AJ is, but we got the same basics. We talked a lot. He really cares about you, and he cares about his religion and his family too. He's not like you, you know? You went through your angst already. Now he's gotta go through his. I'm sure that down the road y'all are gonna be as thick as thieves again. Right now? Suck it up and give him a reason to come back to you. He wants to. Go on."

Bobby's head was spinning a bit. "Suck it up? That's your advice?"

"Yep. Take it or leave it. If you take it, you'll be all up in AJ's ass tonight, if that helps."

Bobby blushed all over. "Do you mind not talking about him that way?"

"My bad. It's in your head now anyway," James said, giggling. "Now get, before Tommy comes back. He has some kind of bug up his ass about you lately. Did y'all have some kind of argument or something?"

"No. I don't like him, but I can't think of anything specific."

"OK. Steer clear of him. You should still have time to get in AJ's room if you shut the hell up and get moving. Out!" He waved an arm in the door's general direction.

"Thanks, I think."

"Thank me in the morning when your dick's dry. Later."

Bobby went out the door, shaking his head. James was always a fun chat. He looked up and down the hallway and walked quickly over to 608, just two doors over, and slipped the key in the lock. The light was still on, and he eased in quietly.

"Bobby? Is that you?"

"Yeah," Bobby said, putting the key card on the dresser. "I'm here now."