I really wish they would stop making as many Fire Emblems as there are Final Fantasy's and hurry up with another Advance Wars game. But will it ever happen? Let's be honest: no.

Surprisingly, Ryu found himself strangely lost after being removed from active duty. As he sat around the base, doing nothing other than eating, resting, and loitering around, it felt strange to watch the rest of his comrades deploy over and over again. Sonja was constantly conducting all sorts of recon, so they got the most action.

On one hand it was dreadfully dull. While Ryu had been off of the battlefield for only a few days, he already missed the exhilaration of his game. He hadn't shared a glance with death for nearly three days now, and he almost felt like he was withdrawing from an addiction. On the other hand, he was aware of a slightly more sane look at his situation. When he had been required to go onto the battlefield on a regular basis, his thoughts rarely dwelt on anything other than that field. Now that he was away from it, he felt like he had acquired some different perspective, though whether that was good or bad he had yet to discover.

He had of course been aware of his own slipping sanity on the battlefield, but at the time he had not cared. But watching the constant deployment of his comrades, the way they sometimes returned with one less jeep than they had left with or with a dead soldier in one of the back seats, Ryu realized just how far gone he really was. Death was no game. It was taking the lives of fathers, brothers, and sons from their families. It was a terrible, awful thing, and yet Ryu was treating it all as his personal gambling table. That there was something wrong with him was obvious. To be honest he was surprised that he had not been sent away to a psychologist yet.

Of course, something like that would have been Sonja's call, and Ryu was almost certain that the girl would not do that. He had guilt tripped her into doing what he wanted. To be fair, everything he had said to her that day had been true, but he nevertheless felt terrible about it. As far as he could tell, Sonja did seem to care about him on some level beyond that of a mere subordinate, even if she refused to admit such a thing. That said, Ryu didn't know what that level was. Being the kind of girl she was, Sonja could have seen him as nothing more than an interesting subject: something to be studied and dissected. Or perhaps she just felt obligated because his state was her fault.

That much was certainly true. Everything that Ryu had become was technically Sonja's fault, but somehow it still felt wrong to blame her completely. She had made a bad call, but not intentionally. It was not as if she had planned to sacrifice his unit from the start...

But it still made him irrationally angry. Every once in awhile, when he thought about her, talked to her, even saw her around the base, Ryu would feel the overwhelming desire to hurt her somehow. To attack her, punch her, strangle her even. They were always brief flares of emotion, but even so they scared Ryu greatly. He did not lie to himself. On one hand he really liked Sonja a lot. Probably in a manner that was unhealthy for a soldier in regards to their commanding officer. Sometimes he looked at her and thought impure things that would never see the light of day. But even so he still hated her. As much as he told himself that she was not truly to blame, he blamed her anyway. Those thoughts of violence and abuse still clouded his mind from time to time.

Considering both of these things, Ryu had been staring at Sonja a lot lately, something that didn't go unnoticed by the Emperor's daughter. She had gone about her usual duties these past few days, visiting Ryu in the barracks from time to time and overall keeping an eye on him. But by observing him she had noticed his observation of her, and it was difficult for her to discern what he meant by it, or how it made her feel.

On one hand she felt vulnerable under his scrutiny. His expression was always a mask of indifference, something that was impossible to read. She didn't know how he felt about her at present, because since they had become acquaintances of sorts he had sent far too many mixed messages. He had claimed to hate her once already. Yet just the other day he had clearly expressed a desire to continue being involved with her. But involved how? Ryu has stated that he needed something interesting to keep him sane. But what about her interested him? Her personality? Her attitude? Sexually...?

To be honest Sonja couldn't imagine the last one being true. She knew she wasn't ugly by any stretch, but after meeting the female COs of the other nations, she also didn't think of herself as beautiful either. She didn't have the slim waist of Jess or the toned body of Sami, or even Nell's more mature appeal. In comparison she thought herself rather plain, what with her dark hair and blandly colored eyes.

Of course, she had never cared much for appearances. They served no practical purpose, so she had ignored her own thoughts of her image. However, for some reason she found herself considering such things now. Whenever she caught Ryu looking at her and she tried to imagine what he was thinking about, she couldn't help but wonder if he found her attractive... even though she knew this was true, she couldn't help but think such notions were foolish. Logically she should not care what he thought about her in that regard. But even someone like her couldn't abide by logic all the time.

She knew it was foolish to even be attracted to a soldier beneath her station, never mind one like Ryu who was likely not even mentally stable. Still, she couldn't help but find him handsome...

Thankfully nothing strange had happened since their agreement to meet like this while Ryu was off the field. He had not snapped at her like he had then, with his scathing words, accusations, and undeniable truths. And as much as they had hurt, it was not as though Sonja disagreed with anything Ryu had said to her. Everything that had happened to him was entirely her fault. She had deserved his fury even if at the time it had scared her.

That said, she was worried when the man may snap at her again, and whether or not he would lash out physically. He was clearly in poor mental health, but there was no psychiatric help available here and he did not want to be sent away. As far as she could tell, he wanted to stay here with her, which evoked mixed feelings from the girl.

Either way, it was about time for her to visit him once again. Not that they had a set routine or anything, but whenever Sonja had free time she used it to heed Ryu's wishes, considering the fact that he always had free time. Of course it was not as if she always knew where Ryu was, but it usually wasn't too hard to find him if she looked around. He spent most of his time in the barracks anyway.

The same held true today, when Sonja found him in that exact place. Needless to say this was where he would usually be if the other soldiers were mostly absent from the area. He didn't like being around his comrades, oddly enough. But on the bright side, it ensured that their meetings were private for the most part, and that was something Sonja preferred as well.

Thankfully she did not find Ryu twirling a knife or otherwise endangering his life in some ludicrous manner today. Unfortunately it hardly meant anything. It was good, but definitely not a sign of him getting better. He did smile when he saw her however, which made Sonja happy for some reason, at least until she saw the twinge of pain his facial movement caused him. All pleasant thoughts went out the window when she saw that, only to be replaced by guilt.

Sonja thought she had kept a calm expression during these thoughts, but she discovered otherwise when Ryu frowned. "That ugly huh?"

For the briefest of moments, Sonja had no idea what Ryu had meant. Being the smart girl she was, it didn't take her long to find out. "N-no, I just-"

"It's fine. I mean, I thought it wasn't that bad, but I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part..."

"Ryu, I'm serious. I was not thinking anything of the sort."

The wounded soldier glared at her. "Look I wasn't mad about it at first, but denying it is just insulting."

Sonja glared back. If there was one thing she hated, it was when people tried to assume her thoughts. "If you must know, my expression was a result of the guilt I felt when I saw that you feel pain when you smile. Is that explanation to your liking?"

Her words were harsh, but Ryu felt bad only because he had assumed she was judging him when in fact she was feeling sorry. Of course he didn't want her pity, but even so...

"Sorry."

Sonja's expression softened as the man apologized to her. It just felt wrong. "Please don't apologize to me. I hardly deserve it."

"You deserve apologies if I wrongly assumed something about you."

"I do not agree, but if that is your prerogative..."

Ryu said nothing to this, merely sitting up in his cot. This could have been for any reason, but Sonja got the feeling he had done it so she would sit next to him. She was only somewhat uncomfortable with the notion, because on the other hand she kind of wanted to. That being the case, the Emperor's daughter sat on the cot next to a common soldier, though at a relatively comfortable distance.

It was a distance that didn't go unnoticed by Ryu, and though he was disappointed he made no comment on it. Instead, he decided a status report was in order. "How's the battlefront coming along Commander?"

Sonja, being the intelligence officer she was, was always eager to speak of such things. "Quite well actually. The map we discovered during the battle at the Black Hole fortress did indeed lead us to a hidden factory. We linked up with Orange Star navy troops and took the plans for the Neotank. That said, there's only a bit more of our own territory to push Black Hole out of. It seems we'll be pushing back the invaders even sooner than expected."

"That is good news. Any idea how much time we'll have after that before we go to join Green Earth?"

"Well, it depends. As it turns out, Adder is currently calling for a truce so that we can negotiate a peace treaty..."

Ryu scoffed. "I don't have to be a strategist to know that's a load of crap."

Sonja merely nodded. "Indeed. For one, it makes no sense. Why on earth would we agree to a peace treaty when we are already winning? Moreover, they invaded us and expect us to offer quarter at this stage of the war? Even if that was their intention, Adder has far too much pride to ever consider such a thing. This is a trap, yet..."

The man next to her scoffed. "Yet somehow we're still going to make extra sure it's a trap by actually getting trapped, right?"

Ryu's commander sighed. "Unfortunately. As much as I respect both my father and Sensei, their fanatical adherence to the Bushido code has landed us in more than one spot of trouble. While I do believe there is a place for honor in war even against the enemy, I certainly don't think it should come at the cost of prudence. Adder is laying a trap for us. There's no doubt about that whatsoever, and even my father and Sensei know it. But even though they know it is a trap they refuse to continue fighting because the enemy has 'claimed' that they intend to surrender. It's foolish, but there's also no changing the minds of stubborn old men like them."

The scarred soldier next to Sonja cocked an eyebrow at her. "I'm surprised you don't share more of their views honestly. I was under the impression that you were raised almost entirely under their scrutiny."

"I was, but that doesn't mean I was unable to draw my own conclusions and thoughts. Even under their influence I developed my own thoughts and ideals. Bushido is hardly something I ever embraced. It wasn't logical enough for me to believe in."

Ryu scratched his cheek as he thought on this. The Yellow Comet army followed the Bushido code to some degree, but certainly not to the fanatical extent it had been in ages past. Needless to say there was no obligation to fight to the death against hopeless odds, and banzai charges and kamikaze pilots were completely unthinkable tactics now. Even so, the overall nature of the code was still in place, especially when it came to honorable combat. That Sonja, daughter of the Emperor himself, did not wholly agree with the code was honestly shocking.

The again, many soldiers did not see eye to eye with ancient Bushido. It was hard to follow a code of honor on the battlefield at all, especially against a ruthless enemy like Black Hole. Ryu knew he would gun down Black Hole troops even if they really did surrender. They were marauding invaders and didn't deserve to get off the hook just because they realized they were losing.

Still, he didn't really have anything to say about it, though Sonja still had words to offer. "Unless you really want to, I would prefer if we could discuss something besides the war. It seems foolish to discuss the dreary things we don't have to when we are away from it."

Ryu got the feeling Sonja was specifically trying to prevent him from discussing the war itself, probably in some misguided bid to help him rehabilitate from his battlefield addiction. But if that was what she wanted, there was no reason Ryu couldn't play along, even though he doubted it would work. "Well, I don't mind, but considering our positions and our relation to each other, what else can we talk about besides the war...?"

Sonja did seem at a loss when she had to answer that question, but she quickly came up with an alternative. "Surely you must have hobbies of some sort? If you don't mind sharing..."

"Painting."

For some reason this answer struck Sonja as more odd than almost any of the others Ryu could have given. "Painting...?"

"From time to time. Yellow Comet has a lot of beautiful landscapes you know. Especially in cherry blossom season. Capturing that just always seemed a worthy use of free time."

Still a little surprised to hear that a tank gunner painted in his spare time at one point, Sonja nevertheless pressed their tangent forward. "I see. Do you only paint landscapes?"

Ryu glanced over at Sonja when he answered. "To be honest I've wanted to try painting a person at least once, but I've never really found someone I really thought was worthy of being in a painting..."

If Sonja caught on to his subtle meaning, it didn't show in the least. "Well I imagine it must be difficult to find such a thing in a military camp."

Ryu couldn't help but smile to himself. "It's not actually as hard as you think..."

Apparently Sonja didn't catch his meaning, which Ryu found quite funny really. For someone so smart even she could be dense in certain regards. Unfortunately, Sonja was also the type of person to ask when she didn't understand something.

"How do you mean?"

Ryu hadn't actually expected her to ask, so he tried to find some suitable excuse. "Well... I'm hardly the kind of person to paint pictures of men..."

"But the entire camp is nothing but men."

The soldier next to Sonja figured he may as well just tell her. What was the worst she could do? It wasn't like he had any of the proper materials to paint with anyway. "Not all of them... Commander."

The emphasis on her rank made it clear what Ryu was getting at. "O-oh... well I, I mean... surely you could find a better subject than myself..."

Having already let the cat out of the bag, Ryu saw no reason to stop here. "Don't be ridiculous Commander. You're exactly the kind of person that would look good in a painting."

"D-do you not have to be attractive first for that to be true?"

"Are you saying you do not think yourself attractive Commander?

One of the things Sonja wasn't used to was when conversations took irrational turns. They had been talking about a hobby: how one earth had they ended up here? "I-I do not think myself ugly, but I have no delusions. There are many women prettier than I am..."

As for Ryu, he wasn't quite sure how he got here either. But unlike Sonja, he didn't quite care, and he thought it would be a good idea to capitalize on it anyway. "Aside from how wrong that is, attractiveness is not purely physical... there's something be said for the appeal of personality."

Sonja realized to some extent that Ryu was flirting with her, something she knew she should not allow as his superior officer. But on the other hand, it didn't really hurt anyone did it? Besides, it was nice to hear these types of things from someone around her age. Having your father praise you night and day lost its meaning after awhile, but it was always nice to to know the thoughts of others. Was there anyone who did not like to be thought of as attractive, and told as much?

That said, Sonja decided against shutting down the conversation in favor of subtly perpetuating it. "Please, I hardly see my personality as anything other than bland..."

She noticed that Ryu was sliding a little closer to her, but not enough to be alarmed by it. "To some, maybe. I guess there are people out there that find intelligence off-putting. I rather like it. Besides, you're definitely your cutest when you're contemplating something."

That made it the second time Ryu had praised her looks, but for some reason it was much more flustering this time, as it could not be the result of some immediate battlefield trauma. "T-t-that's hardly true..."

"Hm, you're right. You're actually even cuter when you're blushing."

Mentally overheating from this very unfamiliar conversation she was having, Sonja stood from the cot she was sitting on. "T-that's quite enough of that..."

Just that one comment was enough to change Ryu's entire expression. Sonja had forgotten how fickle his current state of mind was. "Right, you don't want to hear that from someone that looks like me..."

"That is not at all what I said!"

"I'm perfectly willing to bet that was what you meant!"

For some reason Ryu was growing increasingly angry. Even he wasn't quite sure why. He knew that Sonja hadn't said that, but she could have implied it... either way, he was getting that feeling again. That feeling that he wanted to hurt her somehow. Any way he could.

"I bet it's oh so gratifying to be complimented by someone scarred like me, right? That's what you were thinking, wasn't it?!"

Sonja didn't like the tone of voice Ryu was taking with her, but she found it hard to get angry with him all things considered. After all, it was probably easy to make such assumptions with a scar taking up a quarter of your face. That being the case, her best bet was probably just to be truthful, even if it was embarrassing to say.

"For your information, I-I-I think you're quite handsome! Even though you presume to know what I'm thinking so wearily often!"

With that, Sonja stormed out of the barracks, more out of embarrassment than anything else, but either way she left Ryu stunned on his cot. Only for a moment though, because he was quick to break out into a smile.

Right, so I've pretty much decided that this fic will get dark enough to warrant an M rating. But since it is not quite there yet, I won't change it until we are. That said, there's gonna be some stuff that might make some people uncomfortable, but it'll be obvious enough when it's coming for you to avoid it if you want.