I do not own magi or the characters. I do own my oc.

Chapter 10

I shift feeling uncomfortable with all their eyes on me. Sinbad is sitting to my left angled to face me, while both Daria and Esra are sitting in front of me. I start to clench and unclench my fist not sure how to start this.

"I don't know how to begin," I say looking down. I can feel myself starting to shake, hating that I'm so incapable of not freaking out.

"How about why your family disowned you," says Esra as I look at her. I can see she's trying to keep herself from looking worried, but I can see some uncertainty on her face.

I bite my lip, trying to think of how to answer that. Letting out a failed attempt at a deep breath, I guess I'll just have to start talking.

"My family...the organization my family is part of has the initiation that everyone is expected to perform," I say still not meeting anyone's eyes. "I wouldn't do it, so I was kicked out and my family disowned me."

"What were you supposed to do," asks Sinbad. I try not to react to the tenseness in his voice.

"I was supposed to kill my entire family," I say barely above a whisper. I can hear both Esra and Daria gasp surprised. I can see Sinbad tense out of the corner of my eye. I blink trying to stop myself from crying. "My family is a member of the organization that perform assassination for the Partevia government and royal family."

"Are you serious," says Sinbad. I can hear the tenseness in his voice, and when I glance at him I flinch at the fire I see in his eyes. I find my resolve breaking knowing he most likely despised me now.

I stop trying to hold back the tears as I nod.

"That doesn't explain why they want you arrested," says Esra, her voice shaking.

"They...I...damn it," I mutter struggling to breath evenly now. "Those who are exiled know to much, but they don't want to just kill us. They like watching us suffer as everything collapses around us. They love breaking us down until we're barely even human anymore. They release word of who we are, mark is with a tattoo so people can recognize us, and tell every country we've ever acted against so they can hunt us down as well…I'm sorry."

I sit they silently crying as they all sit in silence. I don't know what to say, but can't even look at them.

"Have you killed people for Partevia," questions Esra, her voice only a whisper. I nod wiping my eyes with my left hand. "Why didn't you kill your family then...I mean...I don't know how to ask this."

"I had a little brother," I whisper still not looking up. "I was going to do it...kill my parent. My uncle was told to do the initiation a few years before, but refused. I watched them tattoo him and torture him. I was terrified, so I was going to kill them. They hated me and we're abusive in more ways than one...I just wanted it to stop. But then they said I had to kill my brother, and I couldn't do it. He was all I had...the only person I cared about."

"Is that why you keep your distance from everyone," asks Sinbad. I can see him move to try to get me to look at him. "You're scared they'll...?"

"My Dad was constantly hitting me, my mom was verbally abusive and hit me too. Our entire training is basically the officials beating on you. Even after I got away people have been trying to capture me and a lot of them would hurt me," I whisper. "Even my…" I take a breath, shakily trying to collect my thought before rambling. "After I was exiled I went back to get my brother out of there. They made him perform the initiation and it was too late when I got there. He attacked me and told me he wanted me to die...I can't blame him for that."

"How old were you," asks Daria a bit of hesitation in her voice.

"10," I say holding my breath for a response. When no one says anything at first, I quickly glance at everyone. They all look shocked, but I can't tell if their angry with me or not. "They start sending you out on mission four years prior to that...but they made an exception for my brother. He was only 6 when he...when he killed them."

I can feel my shoulders shaking sending pain throughout my body. I just cry, knowing that this group will hate me for all of this.

"Leila," says Sinbad gently. I feel him shift a bit closer, so I pull away ignoring the pain and dizziness from difficulty breathing. "Hey," continues Sinbad, "Just breath. You need to calm down."

He reaches out to touch me, and I try to pull away just a moment to late. "Listen to me," says Sinbad.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, now feeling a tightness in my chest. "I...just please let me leave."

"You're not leaving," says Esra as I look up a little. I watch as Daria nods still looking surprised. "You're still far to injured. If you leave there's a good chance you'll die quickly."

"Then turn me in," I say shaking. "I just want it to end. I can't hurt more people...please."

"Hey," says Sinbad leaning close. "Listen to me...you need to breath. Everything is going to be fine."

"It's not okay," I say, my voice cracking. "I don't want for you all to get in trouble for helping me. I should have told you, or left, or-"

"Enough," says Sinbad firmly. I can see Esra scolding Sinbad, as I try to slow down my crying. "You did nothing wrong," says Sinbad more gently than I expected.

I look up at him a little, his gold eyes immediately making me uncomfortable under there intensity. Looking away I feel Sinbad moving closer again. "I need to leave...I'm begging you Sinbad, Esra, Daria...please."

"We can't let you do that," whispers Esra. "Can you tell me what they did when the tattooed your arm?"

"It's hard to remember," I say tensing momentarily as Sinbad places a hand on my back before slowly rubbing circles. "They set me down in a chair, and someone started carving into my arm to tattoo it. It hurt so much, I remember trying not to scream and seeing my brother watching me terrified." I pause feeling myself shake remembering the pain in my arm. "I don't know what happened, but I was on the ground unable to move my shoulder...god it hurt so much. The entire time they were cutting and hitting me, looking at me like…"

I stop taking a few shaky breaths, watching my tears land in my lap.

"When they finished, they shoved me to the ground and told me to run. I had to kill my way out, but wasn't able to move my arm and was on the verge of passing out. After awhile I got away and found this abandoned house. I walked in and just collapsed. I could barely move for days, only accidentally fixing my shoulder since that was the first time it dislocated."

"I'm sorry," whispers Sinbad. I shake my head, only to have Sinbad wipe some of the tears running down my face away. "I don't know how to stop it from hurting. You shouldn't have had to go through that."

I continue shaking, as Sinbad moves even closer, so his knees are touching my leg.

"You'll be safe here," whispers Daria, earning a slight glance from me. She looks at me with such pity that I makes me feel weak.

"She's right," says Esra gently. I can hear sincerity from all of them and it only makes this hurt more. "It's going to be alright. None of us want to hurt you, so please just calm down."

I try to catch my breath, feeling a bit surprised as Sinbad gently pulls me close leaning my head on his shoulder. I bury my face in his shoulder as he whispers softly about how it's going to be okay.

"Leila," says Sinbad slowly, "calm down. You're not even close to okay, so please just listen to us and try to go to sleep or relax. I'm right here, and I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."

"Sin," I whisper earning a quiet hum from him. "I still feel bad about this."

"Don't," whispers Sinbad. "Just rest. We're right here and we aren't going to hurt you. I promise."

I shut my eyes leaning closer, shivering at Sinbad's warmth. I can feel myself still shaking starting to feel sick. "I'm nothing," I whisper trying to keep the shakiness from my voice. "I'm just a monster and everyone would be better of if I just-"

"I'm not going to let you finish that sentence," says Sinbad as I feel him tense. "We're not mad. Just try to breath. It's safe for you here."

I pause still feeling awful as I feel Sinbad firmly hold me close. "Leila," says Sinbad getting me to look up. I flinch at the seriousness on his face. "Drink this," says Sinbad holding up a small cup. I shake my head trying to pull away. "Trust me," whispers Sinbad.

I pause before attempting to take the cup. Worse comes to worse, they poison me. Sinbad pushes my hand down before putting the cup to my lips. I sip the mixture realizing it's the same thing they gave me that night after dealing with the thieves.

Quickly I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I try to keep awake as I vaguely hear Sinbad whispering to me. Finally, giving up I bury my head in his shoulder again letting the sleep take over.

—Esra's POV—

"She's sound asleep," whispers Sinbad adjusting Leila as she leans on him. She looks exhausted and so fragile as she shivers her chest moving unevenly. Part of me wants to be angry with her and hate her, but I can't hate her when she's so broken and ashamed of her past.

Sinbad gently moves her laying her back down, before looking at me, but right now I don't know what to say.

"I don't know if I should feel bad for her," says Daria quietly, "or scared."

"I don't think we should be scared of her," says Sinbad with some determination. "You heard her. She's been through enough that I think she just wants to feel safe. She's ashamed of this."

I move closer to Leila as Sinbad and Daria continue to discuss her past. Her face shows that she's in pain, and I can only imagine for sad and lonely her eyes look. I place my hand on her forehead, frowning immediately. Her fever's rising quickly, as at this rate she's going to need more help than I can provide soon.

"Daira," I say interrupting the two. "Can you give me some cold water and a rag. She's really starting to come down with a fever."

"Really," says Sinbad as I look up at him. Gently he places his hand on her forehead, tensing as he touches her. "This is bad."

"Her injuries will be hard enough to recover from," says Daria sitting next to me. "Do you thing she can fight it off before it gets too bad?"

"I have no idea," I whisper wetting the rag before folding it and laying it across her forehead. As soon as it touches her, she shivers sending, what I can only imagine, to be a sharp wave of pain through her body. "Right now we just need to keep an eye on her," I say pulling a blanket over top of her. "I'm not scared of her even a little," I whisper as the two look at me surprised, "but I'm scared for her."

"If what she told us is true," says Daria as I see Sinbad tense. "Then we need to find a way to keep people from seeing her here."

"That will be fine," says Sinbad not taking his eyes off her. "I told her I'd keep her safe and I will."

"She's barely hanging on," I mutter earring the attention of the two sitting here with me. "She's your age, Sin...which means she far too young to have been through this much. We need to do more than keep her safe…"

"She needs people to depend on," finishes Sinbad.