A/N: I would like the begin this chapter by stating that I have no idea what the Miranda Rights are, I briefly adventured over to Wikipedia to get some information, but ultimately what I have written below is what I remember from the movie 21 Jump Street. Go me. As always, warning for porn in this chapter. As always, something about Kripke owning Supernatural and me being something, something. I don't know. A combination of cold medicine, the last episode of Game of Thrones, and finals have drained the life out of me. Enjoy the thing:

xXx

Step one of Operation Get Sam Kidnapped went like this: Get Dean into the holding cells.

"You're not like a wanted felon, Dean." Cas had said last night while they were planning, his voice sounding strange on the speaker phone where he was perched in the middle of the table, amongst the paper and clippings and various other implements that made Dean feel like he was in a spy movie.

"What do you mean?" Dean had replied

"Your warrant is for a credit card scam. The police aren't going to see you and suddenly shout 'Stop in the name of the law!' and then tackle you to the floor, screaming Miranda rights and handcuffing you."

Sam had snorted a laugh, Bobby had hidden a smirk, Dean had growled out:

"Ok. So I go to the station and turn myself in, no big deal." Dean said

"That would mean a lot of paperwork, probably they'd need to call in an attorney. It'd put you maybe forty five minutes away from a holding cell and Sebastian, assuming Sebastian is still in a holding cell by then."

"What do you mean by then?" Bobby had asked

Cas had sighed, like he didn't want to say the next sentence. Eventually, he did.

"We're moving Sebastian soon. We haven't got a precise time, but…"

"Basically the sooner I get in there, the better. Right, Cas. What's going to land me in a holding cell, stat?" Dean had asked to the disapproving glare of his brother.

"Uh, drunk and disorderly, aggravated assault-"

"So I'll do something like that then." Dean had smiled amidst the three-tone admonishment of 'Dean', coming from his phone, his brother and his uncle.

They had fumbled around after that, moving onto other parts of the plan. But step one remained the same.

Get Dean into the holding cells.

He breathed out sharply from where he was standing, in an alleyway between two shops.

When Sam had asked him just what exactly he was going to do to get himself arrested, Dean had grinned conspiratorially.

He wondered if any three of them would guess this.

Officer Castiel, decked out in his full police uniform, was holding a coffee. He was standing next to Uriel, both looking very official, both doing God knows what, neither of them expecting what was about to happen where they were stood between their two police cars.

"Hey!" Dean shouted, finally coming out of his hiding spot. Cas spun immediately, and like a deer caught in the headlights he found himself unable to move. Uriel had no such problem.

"Winchester! You're in a bit of trouble, buddy." Uriel commented. "We got a warrant for your-"

"Do you honestly think I give a fuck?" Dean asked, shrugging and making his way closer, he was now within touching distance of both police officers.

"Dean!" Castiel's surprised tone was a genuine reaction, and Dean turned to him expectantly.

"What, are you gunna arrest me for swearing at a cop?" Dean asked him mockingly. "Coming from the guy who can't even keep my little brother safe from a goddamn team of teenagers."

"Dean you are already in trouble with the law, don't make us put down assault of an officer as well." Uriel warned from behind him.

"Dean calm down," Castiel said, and Dean realised that he had already worked out what Dean was going to do, he was already on the same wavelength, and God if that didn't make his heart lurch unexpectedly when Cas locked eyes with him and ever so minutely, nodded.

"It's hardly my fault that Sam's car exploded." Castiel said

"Yeah, but you didn't listen when I told you he was the target of the attacks, did you? And then I was nearly burned to death in a fire!" Dean shouted, trying not to grin because it was all a game.

"I can't be held accountable for your personal welfare!" Cas shouted back.

Dean couldn't think of a comeback, so he decided to skip ahead in the script to the stage directions that would read Dean is arrested and taken to a holding cell.

Not to skip the part, of course, where the stage actions read thus:

Dean punches Castiel in the face.

Cas reeled back, recovering quickly and immediately moving to emancipate Dean. Dean was surprised to find he didn't even have to act, it was a real grunt of pain when Cas shoved his hands behind his back, swinging him around and pinning him to the car in one fluid movement that made his back protest and his brain spark with almost-arousal. Cas was holding him there with the weight of his body, his thigh between Dean's leg, his hands around his wrists. Then there was a cold, metallic sound and Cas' voice was low in his ear.

"You have the right to remain silent," he said, and Dean felt a little thrill of victory. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you." He tugged at the handcuffs so Dean was standing between the two parked cars.

"I'll take him in," Cas said to Uriel, who looked kind of shocked at the proceedings. "You finish up here and head back to the station when you're done."

"You sure?" Uriel asked, looking at Dean like he was a live bomb.

"Trust me, I can handle him." Cas said, and it may have been Dean's imagination, but his voice sounded lower, almost aggressive.

Cas forced Dean into the backseat, slamming the door closed and leaving Dean dazed and grinning, watching Cas' ass as he walked around the car and then got in the driver's side.

When he closed the door, he gave Uriel a wave and muttered lowly: "I can't believe you punched me in the face."

"I can't believe you arrested me." Dean shot back. "Gotta admit though, kinda hot."

Cas huffed a laugh. "You think?"

"Oh, so you liked it too?" Dean asked, squirming against his handcuffs and feeling how damn tight they were. "You liked pinning me to that car and cuffing me?"

"It had a certain… thrill, that was absent in other arrests I have made." Cas admitted begrudgingly.

"We should do it again sometime," Dean said absently, staring out the window and noticing that they weren't heading in the direction of the station. "You can cuff me against a car and then have your wicked way. Think about it, babe. Fuck me over the front of your cop car," he mused, frowning, the adrenaline in his veins making him feel overly confident, these smutty musings falling from his mouth a little too easily. "Or I could suck you here in the back seat, still cuffed. Or we could play breath test! You could open my mouth and tell me to blow until you say stop."

"Are you quite finished?" Cas asked as the car pulled to a stop. Dean looked out the window and frowned.

They were not at the police station.

They were at some kind of… abandoned factory.

"Where are we, Cas?"

"We are at a place with no traffic, no human habitation, a cop car, a very aroused police officer, a pair of handcuffs, and you." Cas replied calmly, looking at Dean in the rear view mirror as if he had just said 'we're at my parents house', or 'Oregon.'

"Ah," Dean said

"Not so eloquent anymore, Winchester?" Cas quipped, turning in his seat. And damn, if navy blue wasn't his color. His eyes were darkened, lust blown and still bright blue, and almost predatory with the gaze they were sending his way. The bruise on his cheekbone, as well, had already gone a startling purple that seemed to serve only to make the blue even more intoxicating.

"No, sir." Dean replied, noting that Cas swallowed heavily at that. Not saying a word, he climbed out of the driver's seat and walked so damn slowly around the car, pausing at the door and then opening it.

"Get out," he ordered, and Dean scrambled to obey. "On your knees." He added, and Dean fell heavily onto the gravel, thinking to himself that he shouldn't be this damn eager.

Cas roughly handled his face, then, tilting Dean's chin up so he was forced to watch as Cas slowly unzipped the fly to his pants, shunting aside the belt that held his nightstick and gun. Cas pulled out his cock – fully erect for the love of God – and then pushed his thumb into Dean's mouth, prying open his teeth and pressing his cock in alongside.

Dean sat still, letting Cas open his mouth with his hands and then place his cock on the flat of his tongue, thrusting experimentally.

"Mm," Cas smiled lazily down at him. "What was it you said?"

Dean knew better than to reply, feeling arousal coiling within himself despite the fact the knees of his jeans were wet against the cold gravel and his wrists were starting to hurt against the burn of the handcuffs.

"Oh, I remember." He pushed his cock in further, and Dean forced his throat to relax so he could greedily accept the intrusion. "Blow until I say stop."

With that he began thrusting into Dean, a slow rhythm that gave him time to adjust, to breathe through his nose, to work his tongue into motion against the heaviness of Castiel's perfect fucking cock.

Dean wanted to touch, there was part of Cas' length that couldn't quite fit in his throat and he longed to stroke it, to press his thumbs into the indents at Cas' hips, to stroke hands up the back of his thighs and massage the muscles in his ass. He was forced to be passive though, to be used, to let Cas have his goddamn way with him, and fuck if Dean wasn't harder than he'd ever been in his life.

Cas noticed.

He pulled Dean off his cock, saliva connecting them for a moment before it was broken, and Dean was licking his lips and almost keening with the loss.

Cas grabbed his chin again, tilting it upwards, pulling Dean to his feet. He complied easily, coming to face level and breathing heavily at Cas' expression: possessive anger and lust.

"Cas," he whimpered.

"Shh," Cas cooed, wiping saliva off his chin. "I'll take care of you."

His cock was still out, resting outside the zipper of his pants, shiny with Dean's saliva and just part of the picture that made Cas the hottest thing he had ever seen, the sex hair and erection teemed with the dark blue, prim and proper uniform of a police officer.

Cas' hands were at Dean's belt, then, pulling it off roughly and forcing down the jeans until his underpants were visible, cock peeking over the top of the elastic, damp with precum.

"God, Dean," Cas whispered, outside of the act for that moment. He hooked his finger into the elastic and dragged it down, freeing Dean's cock to the chilled air and making him groan slightly.

Cas pushed their hips together, cocks aligning, and thrusted once. The delicious friction, all smooth, hot skin and glide and-

Dean whimpered. He actually fucking whimpered when the heads of their cocks pressed together again, and Cas pushed against him, moving him.

Dean wanted nothing more in that moment than to rid them both of their clothes and push Cas against the car, rutting and frotting and any other kind of –tting that would bring them both to orgasm stat.

But he was handcuffed.

So he had to accept it when Cas pulled his cock away and spun Dean around, making him lean on the hood of the car as Cas flipped open the lube – where the fuck did he even get lube – and drizzled some over his ass.

"This what you wanted, Dean? You wanted me to fuck you against my car while you're handcuffed and I'm in my uniform?"

"Cas, yes." Dean said, groaning when Cas immediately put two fingers against his entrance, a gentle pressure that was suddenly increased.

He was pressing in and out quickly, and it was so different to the loving treatment that Dean had gotten in the motel room, it was so fucking primal.

Soon Cas was scissoring three fingers, and there was a harsh burn but God it didn't matter, because then Cas was pushing his cock, still sticky with spit and lube, right against his rim and Dean was relaxing and Cas was inside of him again.

Cas was thrusting animalistically, rutting his hips and putting a hand in Dean's hair to yank backwards, and Dean was grunting and pushing back, feeling his bobbing cock occasionally hit the cool metal of the car and it was painful but that was okay because everything else felt sofuckinggood.

Cas released his hair to take Dean's cock in his hand, pumping roughly in a kind of almost-pain that set fireworks off behind his eyes when Cas hit his prostate full on and then began hammering into it, fucking him in filthy, deep thrusts that had his throat ragged from groaning.

Dean felt his orgasm building, tried to hold off, not wanting to be finished when Cas was still thrusting and making this amazing little 'oh' sounds with each movement, but then Cas hit his prostate on a new angle, and his hand tightened, and Dean was coming across the hood of Cas' car, hands fighting against the handcuffs, legs tangled in his pants. Cas was holding him up, though, and with a few thrusts and a muffled 'Dean!', he came as well.

Eventually, Dean mused, they would have to return to reality.

A reality where Cas had a suspicious stain on his Navy Blue pants, where Dean wouldn't stop squirming in his seat, where Police Officer Gabriel was saying "Jesus kid, how much did you struggle in those handcuffs?" upon spotting Dean's bruised wrists, and Dean was replying "My injuries pale in comparison to what you will look like if you break my little brother's heart, capische?" and Gabriel was saying "So he told you?" and Dean was scowling and muttering, "I can't believe you did it on the couch." And then Gabriel was laughing as Dean was lead to the holding cell, given one moment to check that yes Sebastian was still there, and then left alone, with his bruised wrists, sore ass, and a twenty-year-old criminal.

"So," Dean said to break the silence. "I hear your fake-dad wants Sam Winchester."

Step two of Operation Get Sam Kidnapped: Get the necessary information from Sebastian Lyon.

"W-what?" The voice was scratchy and a little higher pitched than Dean thought it might be, but he grinned nonetheless.

"Yellow Eyes. Wants Sam Winchester. For his very own." Dean spelled out, squirming on the seat and eventually deciding it would be easier on his ass if he were to lie down on the damn floor.

"How did you know that?" Sebastian asked

"Sam's my brother." Dean shrugged, then remembered Sebastian couldn't see him. "Us older brother's have a way of finding out things."

Sebastian gave a snort. "If your daddy hadn't stepped in twenty years ago, I'd be Sam's older brother."

Dean swore silently in his cell, letting out all his anger in a kind of mime rage so that he didn't shout his head off and bring the police officers running.

"Well," Dean said experimentally, noting that his voice didn't sound too homicidal. "Looks like that didn't go down the way you planned."

He took a deep breath, ready to start lying even though every fibre of his brain protested the things that he was going to have to say.

"Which is a shame," Dean begun, his stomach clenching. "because Sam kind of hates me."

Sebastian shifted in his cell, Dean heard the shuffling.

"Yeah, he really hates you. That's why you guys moved in together."

"Obligation, on his part. He kind of feels sorry for me, I think." Dean said. "Truth is, he hates the whole lot of us. Used to shout it at dad whenever they fought."

"We all say things we don't mean when we're angry," Sebastian said quietly, leaving a long pause in the wake of that statement.

Dean cleared his throat. "Anyway, my point is this: when Sam found out that Yellow Eyes had actually wanted to raise him well… he got curious."

"Curious?" Sebastian asked, as if the word was new to him.

"Yeah, made him wonder, y'know. What could have been."

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked

"Well," Dean cleared his throat again, rubbing his wrists. "Sam, big dumb idiot that he is, actually wanted to meet Yellow Eyes."

"Why?" Sebastian said, immediately suspicious.

"Hell if I know, not like the kid talks to me. I heard him say it to one of his friends once. He wanted to… well, see the guy who might have raised him."

"Sam wants to meet Dad?" Sebastian sounded almost childish then.

"Apparently so." Dean said, shrugging to himself. "But that guy is hard to find. I thought I'd try and help him, you know? Try and get in his good books. Turns out I couldn't even do that for the poor kid. Your dad is pretty far off the map, hey?"

There was a long silence again, and Dean feared he'd been to obvious.

"He's not that hard to find," Sebastian countered. "If you know what to look for."

"Is he in town at the moment?" Dean asked hesitantly. Sebastian didn't answer for a moment, but then there was a flurry of movement from the cell next to him, as if Sebastian was trying to see through the wall that separated them.

"He's close. He likes to come here and watch Sam," Sebastian confided, and Dean clenched his fists, thinking it would definitely be easier than initially thought to kill this son of a bitch. "He's busy during the day, but if Sam is alone at night he'll sometimes go in person."

"Go where?"

"Wherever Sam is." Sebastian replied. Dean's would-be-response was cut off by a police officer opening the door to the holding cells, trailing him was another pair of footsteps that Dean would recognize anywhere.

"Dean Winchester," a nameless police officer said, and Dean dimly wondered where Castiel was. "Your attorney is here, he wants to speak with you." Dean stood up and made his way to the doors, trying not to grin.

"So you're the credit card scammer who punched an officer of the law." Bobby said, raising his eyebrows. "Come on, boy, let's go sit down a moment."

Step three of Operation Get Sam Kidnapped is where things got a little sketchy. Step three, part one was this: Get the information that Dean had got from Sebastian, to Sam.

Part two: Get Dean out of the holding cells.

"I spoke to the officer you assaulted," Bobby commented, still in his lawyer persona. There were too many eyes watching them to break character, so Dean just nodded sullenly. "He's not going to press charges."

That was another code they'd decided upon, and hearing those words made Dean's stomach drop. Because if he was going to press charges, well that was code for the fact that everything was fine and dandy from the Police Force's perspective.

Cas not pressing charges meant that something had fucked up.

"Did he say why?" Dean asked, his voice a little huskier than usual, and Bobby shrugged.

"Who knows with these rural country cop types, right? Might have been because of a childhood experience, for all I care. Maybe Officer Novak didn't want any trouble with the courts."

"Why wouldn't he want that?" Dean breathed, not quite catching whatever Bobby was trying to throw at him. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Who knows, maybe he killed a stripper or something."

A stripper.

Ruby.

Dean wanted to ask, did they find out he'd spoken to Ruby? Did they find out about Luke? And Sam? Are they going to ruin everything?

But Bobby looked calm, collected. Obviously this wasn't a huge deal. Dean breathed out, feeling a part of him relax.

Everything was going to b-

The door burst open and Castiel appeared there, looking wild-eyed and erratic.

"Dean," he said quickly.

"Cas." Dean replied, not quite understanding what was happening.

"I was just suspended for fraternizing with Ruby but then-"

"What the hell is going on, kid?" Bobby asked, standing up. "Everything was smooth sailing and the-"

"I may have accidentally called Police Chief Michael an 'assbutt' and punched him unconscious." Cas admitted. "I'd say we have about ten minutes until someone sees the body, and even less than that until someone realises I've just burst into an interrogation room and am leaving the station with a recently arrested man." Cas huffed out a breath. "In fact, I'd perhaps suggest running as fast as we possibly could in the direction of my car, as immediately as possible."

"Assbutt?" Dean repeated.

Cas shrugged, turning back to the station and holding open the door in an impatient gesture.

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Dean stood and ran, pulling at Bobby's jacket to spur the man on. Soon all three of them were tearing into action, slipping past two police officers that attempted to grab them and heading for the door.

There was only one man blocking their exit now, and when Uriel shouted,

"Gabriel, grab them!"

The man in their path simply smirked, held out a hand and shrugged.

"Oops," he said, and then their miscreant gang of three became a miscreant gang of four.

"So I'm guessing Cas busted you out for a reason, and I'm guessing that reason is to do with a certain six ft four lawyer that I may be in love with?" Gabe asked as him and Dean slid into the backseat of Cas' car, Bobby in the passenger's and Cas frantically hitting the gas in the driver's seat.

"Something like that, yes." Dean managed to gasp out between puffs of air.

"Apparently now Cassie and I are renegade, gay cops for the Winchesters," Gabe stated, grinning and loosening his tie. "Party on."

"Cas," Dean puffed out, slamming back against his seat when the car started with a roar and was immediately pushed to the highest possible speed limit.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas asked, sounding remarkably calm considering the situation.

"May I ask why you called your boss a…" Dean cleared his throat. "Assbutt." Gabe gave a bark of laughter from beside him. "And then punched him unconscious?"

"He was rude about you," Cas said, not offering any other explanation.

"So, wait." Dean frowned. "A guy that I don't know, said something vaguely insulting about me, so you floored him, effectively quit your job and became a fugitive with me?"

"I hadn't really thought of it that way. Gabriel, are we fugitives now?" Cas asked

"I don't know about me, but you assaulted an officer and assisted with the escape of a condemned man." Gabe shrugged

"Condemned man? Really?" Dean asked

"Hey, you're the one with the credit card scams, assault to officer, and now a prison break on your record." Gabe pointed out.

"Ladies, can we stop the arguing, please? I'm trying to call Sam." Bobby complained.

"So where are we going?" Gabe asked

"Secret hideout," Dean offered with a grin.

"Which is…?"

"Abandoned railway station," Cas said gruffly. "Used to be one of Luke Pellegrino's bases, but he ditched it after a cop found out where it was."

"Also known as, Cas got his ass dragged there and then they all bailed so he couldn't poop on their party again." Dean said, laughing slightly to himself. Gabe laughed as well, and then the two of them were lost to gales of laughter.

"I think that means the adrenaline has set in," Bobby muttered to Cas in the front seat.

Cas answered with a woozy giggle, leaving Bobby to scowl to himself and be the only one to remember that once they had told Sam, they were going to have to move on to step four:

Use Sam as bait to draw out a psychopath.

"Balls," he muttered to himself.

xXx

A/N: Oh my goodness story is almost over oh my loooord. Ok writing Gabe is always hard for me because there's like a line and if you don't step close enough to the line, Gabe is too serious and therefore OOC, but if you step over the line then Gabe is too ridiculous and OOC and it's like GABRIEL WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BRILLIANT, COMPLEX CHARACTER. Ugh. Hope this is all making sense, shit's going to get wrapped up soon-ish. Probably this chapter and then maybe another chapter and if not, at least an epilogue. Thanks for sticking around for the ride, my children. You're all excellent and lovely.

Destiel101: Well I adore you! Thank you very much. Ok ok ok Misha in a uniform is good, yes? Misha out of a uniform. Just let that image in your mind for a moment.

Kamja: I hope this will tide you over? Handcuffs? Did I do ok?

Theconsultingtardisbananaangel: I love you, ok! Enjoy the sex. Have some more sex. All of the sex. You got it.