Chapter 9: Sapphire

"Leo," I say softly, touching his shoulder. "You don't have to do this. We still have time."

A bitter smile grows on his face and he looks at me with tear-filled cobalt eyes. "Y'know, it's funny. I used to tell myself that every day. That I had all the time in the world. But it's not true." He wipes at his cheeks again, shaking his head a little. "There've been a thousand moments I've taken for granted over the years, and it was all because I had assumed there would be a thousand more. You never think that the last time is the last time. You think you have forever. But you don't."

As his brother speaks, Raph's eyes widen fractionally. "Leo, you're talking like...like you're..." He trails off, unwilling to finish.

"Dying?" Leo takes a deep breath. His shoulders sag. "I-I am, Raph."

For a long moment, the hothead stares at him. Then his gaze flicks to me and Donnie. I offer him a sad smile. "It's the truth."

Raph shakes his head, his breath catching in his throat. "No. No, you're lying. You gotta be lying. Leo can't...he isn't...there's no way-"

"He is."

"No. There's nothing on Earth that can take him down. Not a broken leg, not being almost beaten to death-"

"Cancer can."

Donnie's two words make Raph freeze. His face drains of color and his green eyes go huge with fear. "What did you say?"

"Cancer," the genius repeats softly. "A form of leukemia, to be exact."

The red-banded turtle shakes his head again, standing up and backing away. "I don't believe you."

"Raph-"

"Leave me alone!"

His shout echoes through the dojo as he runs from the room. Moments later, I hear his bike roar away down the sewer tunnel.

"This is exactly what I was afraid of," Leo mumbles, dragging a hand down his face. "I knew this would happen."

A pang of guilt and growing anguish hits me and I bite my lip. My eyes sting but I blink away the tears. I can't afford to cry. Not now. "He had to find out eventually, Leo. There wasn't gonna be an easy way to break it to him. To break it to anybody."

"I shouldn't have told you. It would've been so much easier that way."

"What way?" I scowl, crossing my arms. "You just going off one day to die, and leaving your family wondering what had happened? Or do you mean letting them stumble onto your body and not know why you died? Nothing in this situation is easy, Leonardo. There is no scenario that isn't going to hurt in some way or another."

"I'm not going to listen to this." He stands up, hard lines of anger and something else etched into his face.

Fear.

Pure, cold, unadulterated fear.

For the first time since I met the turtles, Hamato Leonardo is truly afraid.

I reach for his arm. "You can't walk away from this," I insist. "It's going to happen, and there's nothing you can do to change it. The only shot we have is what I suggested, and that won't even be a possibility unless the others know."

Leo jerks away, pain filling his eyes. "Stop it," he yells. "Just stop it! You don't know what I'm going through, Saph! You don't know what it feels like to have your own body trying to tear you apart! To not even be able to sleep because everything hurts so much! To carry guilt around because your family has no idea that you're slowly dying because you haven't told them. You haven't told them because you're still trying to take care of them first, before yourself!"

I stare at him then, the fury fading from my expression. "You're wrong," I say quietly.

"What?"

"I do know what it's like." My lips curve upwards in a humorless smile. "To go through that pain, to hide it from everyone around you."

"How?" he asks. But the angry ninja is gone now. In his place is a scared, desperate teen. A teen who needs reassurance and hope. A teen who needs to know that he's not the only one who feels this way.

So I step closer, slowly putting my arms around him in a gentle hug. "Because I had cancer too."