McKay opened his eyes in the darkest part of the night, fear coursing through him during that moment when he didn't recognize the infirmary, then he realized where he was and relaxed. He felt a pressure on one of his hands and peered at it, his breath catching as he saw Sheppard's hand clutching his. The colonel had dozed off next to the bed but even in his sleep he retained his grip on McKay's hand. The scientist hesitated, then gingerly tugged his hand free, hoping not to wake Sheppard.
At the first gentle pull on his hand, the colonel's eyes popped open. If there was one thing he had learned in the Air Force and had reinforced in the Pegasus galaxy, it was to wake up quickly and completely and now he leaned forward. "Rodney? How you doing, buddy?" The scientist just looked at him and he faltered, then asked, "Are you in any pain? You want me to get Beckett?"
"No." McKay's voice was very hoarse and he licked his lips.
"Are you thirsty?" Sheppard poured a cup of water and offered it.
"I'm fine. What are you doing here, Colonel?"
Sheppard frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean…" McKay paused, gathering his strength, then looked directly at Sheppard. "You don't have to sit with me."
"I'm not here because I have to be, McKay. I'm here because I want to be. Look, have some water." He held out the cup again and McKay tried to take it but his hands were shaking too badly to manage it and Sheppard had to help him.
The scientist gulped the water. "Thank you. You can go now."
Sheppard thought of his conversation with Cameron Mitchell and the one part of it McKay had overheard and he steeled himself. "Rodney, I know you heard part of what I said to Colonel Mitchell but you misunderstood it and..."
McKay swallowed hard. "You said, and I quote, 'Rodney McKay is not my friend.' That's a pretty clear statement, Colonel. You don't have to explain it. In fact, I'd rather you didn't."
"I admit it's a clear statement if you didn't hear everything I said!" Sheppard's voice rose. "After everything we've been through, you still don't know…" He stopped. He had never been good with words, and now with McKay looking at him with eyes as sad as an unloved dog he couldn't think, and how the hell had they gotten to this point? The colonel was almost shouting as he went on. "How could you take off without even asking me about what I said? Don't you trust me at all?"
McKay's heart rate and blood pressure had been rising since Sheppard woke up and now an alarm went off and less than a minute later Beckett arrived. "Here now, what's all this?" The doctor came up to the bed, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, glaring disapprovingly. "You're awake, Rodney! That's good. And I see Colonel Sheppard is keeping you company." His eyes met Sheppard's and the colonel was reminded of what a forceful person Beckett was behind that mild kindly exterior. "You're not upsetting my patient, are you?"
"He was just leaving." McKay closed his eyes.
Sheppard started to protest and Beckett took his arm. "Let's just leave Rodney to his rest, shall we? You could use some rest yourself." He escorted the colonel to the door of the infirmary and pushed him outside.
"Beckett, I have to talk to him!"
"You weren't talking, you were shouting, and he's not in any kind of shape for that right now." Beckett folded his arms. "Just give him some time, son. It'll all get sorted out."