Chapter 9 - Vampires
"But if Carlisle and his family aren't human, then what are they?" Jenny asked quietly, her mind reeling over the revelation. Not human. Surely it wasn't possible? For the majority of her life Jenny had studied and fallen in love with science; it answered questions rationally, there were strict guidelines. It made sense. Yet 'not human' was already breaking all the rules that Jenny had become familiar with.
Bella seemed to hesitate. She studied Jenny, a small frown forming on her face, as if she was trying to decide whether to tell her or not. Whether this was out of distrust or fear that the revelation would terrify her, Jenny didn't know. Was the fear at the thought of Carlisle - the most appealing, intelligent and compassionate man she'd ever met - not being human showing in her expression?
"Well?" Jenny prompted, suddenly growing impatient. Her curiosity bubbled within her, but this time it was masked with fear. She didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be.
"I- " Bella began, but the door swung open before she could speak. Jenny and Bella jumped simultaneously, both turning towards the intruder. Carlisle. His tall, muscular figure filled the door space and he stood with a polite smile adorned on his rosy lips.
"Miss Swan, I'm very sorry to interrupt but visiting hours are over for the morning. I'm sure your sister needs her rest, she's been informed of enough information today." Carlisle's voice was entirely polite, but Jenny could tell there was a hidden implication behind his words. The worried, obedient expression that Bella replied with only confirmed Jenny's suspicions further.
"So soon? Carlisle, surely you could allow me more time with my sister?" Jenny asked, an irritated, impatient frown growing on her features. Had Carlisle heard their conversation from the hallway?
"I'm sorry, Jenny, it's hospital policy. You know it as well as I. Your nurse will also be here in a few minutes to give you your prescribed medicine."
"It's fine, we'll talk later." A forced smile grew on Bella's lips before she gave Jenny a quick hug goodbye. She exited the room quickly, stumbling slightly over her own feet in her hastiness. She always was a terrible liar… Jenny thought to herself, shaking her head.
"Are you feeling okay this morning? Any additional pain?" Carlisle asked in a concerned tone, taking a few more steps into the room. His tone reminded her of the previous night and her heart warmed. But the fearful curiosity continued - it plagued her.
"I thought visiting hours were over? Does than not apply to you too?" Jenny asked with a raised eyebrow. But she scolded herself as she spoke, realising her rude words. Carlisle hadn't done anything wrong.
"If you wish for me to leave, then - " Carlisle stepped back politely, his hands placed carefully behind his back.
"No," Jenny stated instantly. "No, sorry Carlisle that was rude of me. I just… Bella's keeping something from me and you stopped her from telling me. I want to know why."
A confused expression wove into Carlisle's features. "I- "
"Please don't act confused. You know exactly what I mean." Jenny turned her head away from him, her irritation only growing stronger. "I just want to know. I just want the truth from you. I know I'm the one who owe's you now - you saved my life. But don't I deserve an explanation to all this?"
"I interrupted your sister because I have been meaning to inform you of my nature myself, Jennifer…" Carlisle sighed truthfully, looking deeply into her eyes as he spoke. It was becoming increasingly harder for Jenny to concentrate on his words when he looked at her like that. "I have wanted to, so many times. But I have been a coward and you and your sister have been incredibly perceptive of my family. But even now I don't think it is the right time to explain everything. Not after everything that has happened to you."
"I don't need to be protected from the truth. I can handle it. Just because I had a near death encounter doesn't mean I can't. I'm a strong person," she stated adamantly, a frown curling into her features.
Carlisle body stiffened and for the first time he almost appeared awkward. He seemed torn, like he was having a large debate in his mind. Sadness flickered in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Jenny. I cannot apologise enough… I just don't know if I can tell you."
"You can trust me. Whatever it is. I'm sure there's a rational explanation to all this." Not human. No. Not human isn't possible. She convinced herself of this calmly.
Jenny watched with a twinge of regret as the sadness grew in his eyes. She hated putting the man she cared about through this. Was she just acting crazy? Was she pushing a man who may care for her away with such crazy, disturbing theories? They're not human, Jenny. She reminded herself gravely.
"It is not that I don't trust you," Carlisle assured her gently. "It's only that I care about you too much to want to involve you in the dangers that my family could bring upon you."
"Carlisle…" Jenny whispered with a deep sigh. Frantically trying to compose herself, she searched for the right thing to say. "I care about you too. Can't you see that's why I want to know?"
"Then I will tell you." Carlisle nodded, seating himself lightly on the edge of her bed and brushing a stray piece of hair behind her shoulder. The single touch of his hand sent shivers through her. "But only if you promise to tell me if you wish for me to leave or if you don't wish to be involved. I would hate myself for taking the choice away from you and I will understand if you want nothing more to do with me. The decision is all yours."
"You have my word. I promise." Jenny nodded slowly. But Jenny felt odd - her heart rate increased in a crescendo. Locking her eyes with his, she watched as his body tensed and he paused to think carefully about how to word his next phrase.
"Tell me what you think you already know about my family. That may help me explain," Carlisle said.
"Okay." Jenny nodded once. "Me and Bella have noticed a few… strange things, I guess. Your eyes change colour, usually from a honey colour to black, you're inhumanly beautiful." Jenny blushed as she said this and the corners of Carlisle's lips upturned. "You're so elegant when you move, you have amazing reflexes, your skins ice cold and there's just something… not human about you. Is this true?"
Carlisle's lips parted and he let out a single breath. "It's all true, Jenny. Every word you've just said."
The air caught in Jenny's throat, choking her for a moment. She froze, shock prickling through her like a pin stabbing at her skin. "Oh." She blinked a few times, as if trying to wake herself up from a dream. When she looked back up, Carlisle's eyes were watching her meticulously, trying to gauge her reaction. "Then there was what Paul told me…"
"Paul?" Carlisle tilted his head to the side.
"He's kind of an old friend..." She shook her head, trying to regain her thoughts. "He lives down on the reservation and he's part of the Quileute tribe. Last summer he was telling me some of their legends… There was a mention of the story called the cold ones. I only remember bits and pieces. It was about creatures; they were incredibly fast, strong, inhumanly beautiful and cold… Paul told me they were dangerous."
"Your memory is correct…" Carlisle looked away for a moment. "I am each of those things that you have listed… And my kind can be dangerous, but I've spent my life perfecting my self control to impose as little danger on those around me as possible," Carlisle informed her softly.
"What are you?" She spoke in a low whisper, almost inaudible. Her heart pounded. This couldn't be possible. This couldn't be real. Her hands began to shake.
Carlisle looked up slowly, his eyes shining with anxiety. "I'm a vampire."
Vampire. Jenny flinched - it was an instinctive reaction, one she couldn't help. Eyes wide with shock and fear, she watched Carlisle cautiously, her body involuntarily shaking. Her mind raced with every preconceived ideas she had of vampires. They were evil. They killed people, draining them of blood. Monsters. It couldn't be possible…
"Jennifer…" Carlisle said, his tone filled with more pain than she could have imagined. It was like she'd physically hurt him.
Jenny remained as still as possible, afraid to move. She was alone in a room with one of the most dangerous mythical creatures. Her heart rate spiked. She could feel her blood pounding through her veins. Her previous thoughts of Carlisle flooded from her and only fear replaced it. Vampire. She couldn't stop thinking of the word.
Abruptly, Carlisle shot up from her bed, inhumanly fast, ensuring he was no longer touching her. He kept a polite distance away.
"Either this is some kind of sick joke." Jenny's voice shook as she spoke and she tried hard to calm her breathing. Gasping for gulps of air, she felt as if the walls were caving in. "Or you're this… monster thing who eats humans!" She blurted out hysterically, her throat burning from lack of air.
Carlisle held his hands up, almost in surrender. "Jenny, I need you to breath with me before you cause any damage to yourself." He took a cautious step closer but Jenny's hand shot out immediately.
"Stay where you are," She ordered firmly, her voice shaking.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I promise with all my heart," Carlisle assured her gently, staying frozen in place. "I don't drink human blood. I haven't touched a single drop of it in centuries. The scent means nothing to me anymore. I don't hurt humans, I heal them and use my inhuman abilities to be the best doctor I can be."
"How can I trust you?" A deep frown etched into Jenny's expression. Anger bubbled within her. How could a vampire work in a hospital? Was he using it to access blood? "How can I know that you won't hurt me? For all I know, you could be leading me into a trap! You could be hurting people!"
"Jenny… Breathe," Carlisle said gently. His eyes flickered worriedly to her heart rate monitor. The raging beeps echoed through the air.
Closing her eyes for a moment, Jenny focused on her breathing as a wave of dizziness hit her. In. Out. In. Out. Finally, she felt the air return to her lungs.
"I can't trust what you're saying," she said after a moment's silence.
Carlisle took a step back towards the door, his face blank of emotion. "I'm sorry you feel that way…" He spoke quietly. "I cannot convince you to trust me. But I would love for you to believe that I would never hurt you. This is not a trap. It's simply who I am."
"Is your- Are your children the same? Does Bella know about this?" Jenny questioned - her mouth couldn't get the words out fast enough. What the hell was happening? Is this a dream? She thought in despair.
"Yes. My family are all like me. And your sister discovered the truth from Edward yesterday evening." Carlisle nodded. His answers turned simple. It was as if he didn't want to explain too much, just in case he scared her even more.
Placing her hands on her head, Jenny tried to process her thoughts. This is real. Carlisle is a vampire. You care about a dangerous mythical creature. How was it possible?
A deathly silence echoed in the air for a few moments before Carlisle spoke again. "I understand if you want me to leave. If you have any questions then I will answer anything truthfully."
"I think it's best if you do leave," Jenny whispered, staring ahead and not daring to even glance at him. The instinctive fear pounding through her was too much to overcome.
"Just know that I've been wanting to inform you of my identity since the moment we met. But I have not done so purely for your protection. It was never my intention to hurt you or scare you. If you ever… in the near future come to accept my nature, then please do not hesitate to contact me," Carlisle told her softly, watching her with pained eyes.
"I just…" Jenny's voice shook. "I just need time to come to terms with this… This is unreal and I can't tell you if I ever will. All I can think about is how dangerous your kind are."
"That's understandable." Carlisle nodded gently. "For now I will transfer your case over to Dr Trankton and I will do everything in my power to keep myself out of your way. I'll give you as much space as possible."
Pressing her lips together tightly, Jenny tried her best to relax her body and she forced her eyes to meet Carlisle's. A single shiver rolled down her back as she looked deeply into Carlisle's honey eyes. She'd thought she'd known him… She'd thought he was just keeping a typical, family secret that he'd eventually share.
"I'm sorry, Carlisle." Jenny whispered apologetically. She spoke through her fear as guilt arose within her. "You were honest, just like I forced you to be and now I'm doing everything you feared would happen."
"I understand. There is no need to apologise," Carlisle assured her. He slowly backed towards the door, keeping his eyes firmly locked on hers. It was clear that he was desperately hoping she would change her mind. But she just couldn't do that… "If there's ever anything you need, you know where to find me. I care about you, but I will not force you into anything you don't want to be apart of. My world is dangerous and I want more than anything for you to remain safe, especially after what has happened to you."
"Thank you." It was all she could say.
Without a backwards glance, Carlisle exited the room and Jenny let out the breath she'd been holding. Her body relaxed but tears instantly welled in her eyes, slipping down her cheeks. The tears seemed endless and she could feel a consuming ache in her chest. It felt as if it was constricting her heart, stopping it from beating.
This is all my fault. She thought painfully, moving her hands back to her head. She'd been the one who'd forced Carlisle into telling his secret when he knew that it wasn't the right time. It wasn't his fault she was so afraid. Though it was only natural to react this way upon discovering that the man she cared for was a vampire, she'd always known deep down that something wasn't right. It was only mere days ago that she'd come to the conclusion that he was, after all, supernatural. In many ways she'd been prepared for his response. So why had she reacted so badly? The intelligent, doctor side of her brain told her exactly why: because vampires were dangerous and Carlisle could put her at high potential risk of being killed. However, the ordinary part of her brain told her what she'd always known in the back of her mind: it doesn't matter who Carlisle is, Jenny would always care for him, despite his vampiric nature.
All she had to do was diminish the fear in her mind. She needed to learn how to trust Carlisle again. After all, she wanted nothing more than to be with him, so could it possibly be so hard to accept who he is?
Dangerous. Jenny shivered at the thought. Her dreams had truly told her everything - Edward did pose a danger to her. Jenny worried for Bella's life. Would Edward hurt her? Did the Cullen's hurt humans? Had they been responsible for the mysterious dead bodies in Forks? Jenny could only trust Carlisle so much… If he had hurt people in Forks, she wouldn't be able to forgive him. Hadn't he said that he didn't hurt people? Jenny shook her head. Vampire's were dangerous, she concluded.
Jenny had always wanted a quiet life. She'd been in a relationship where she felt she was constantly in danger. Living in fear was not something she desired. But Carlisle Cullen would be difficult to stay away from…Even if he was the most dangerous creature in existence.
A/N: So the big secret is finally out! This is the last of the edited chapters I originally published, so from now on it is entirely new content. I'm currently writing the chapters for the end of Twilight story canon. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please let me know your thoughts by reviewing!
Thank you for all the support.