Chapter 10

Thanks guys for being so patient! This one might be a little short, but I have more to upload tomorrow!

Sawyer Brooke Scott is 2 weeks old. Peyton and Lucas get up twice a night for feedings, and they're so happy to be parents. The sleepless nights, all the bottles to wash, and the large bills for diapers- all worth. Haley and Brooke visit often and Jamie loves giving his cousin a bottle.

Brooke has had 2 treatments since Sawyer's been born, and this week is exhausted from all of the doctors and appointments. She's lounging in Sawyer's nursery with Peyton. Peyton placed the baby on a blanket on the floor and Brooke laid on her side, cooing and talking to the baby. Peyton smiled seeing her best friend so happy with her bundle of joy. It was her dream come true- being married to Lucas, having a baby. It was in these moments that all seemed well with the Tree Hill group. But Peyton is quickly reminded her friend is not out of the woods yet. She glances over to see Brooke wince.

"Sore today?" Brooke ignored her. "Brooke."

Sighs "Yea, a little. They used that probe again yesterday to look at the growth of the cells." Peyton shook her head thinking of the horror story Haley told her about the first time Brooke had the procedure done. "It's okay, Peyt really. I'm alright.

"Any news on donors?"

"Not yet. I'm sure it'll be soon though, don't worry." She looks down at Sawyer. "Isn't that right, Baby Brooke? Tell Mommy, everything's going to be fine. They'll call soon. Yes they will."

"How is it that you're the one sick and you're comforting me, with the help of my beautiful baby girl, yes you are!" she said as she crawled down on the floor with her baby and BFF. "So Julian comes home soon. You excited?"

"Yea, nervous too. I have to- he doesn't know yet Peyton...What if he can't handle it? What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

"Brooke, you know that's not true. It'll be okay, hun. He loves you."

"How do I say it? I mean, how do you tell someone that? Especially since so much has happened in only two weeks. It was hard enough telling you guys but you were here; I've kept it from him. I didn't mean to hurt him, or keep it a secret, I just didn't think it was a phone call conversation."

"He'll understand and he'll be there for you. The words will come to you"

"Oh really? What do I say? Oh hey, I've missed you so much. While you were gone I've been spending a lot of time in the oncology ward, met a lot of great doctors and nurses, and have become really close friends to the toilet, ginger ale and saltines. But welcome home!" she said with frustration. She rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how difficult that conversation will be.

"Well he needs to know, Brooke. He loves you and he can be a great comfort for you. He can support you."

"I don't want him to feel obligated to stick around and care for me. I hate burdening people."

"Brooke, you're not burdening anyone. No one feels that way."

"I hope not." She looked over at Sawyer. "She's growing so fast Peyton."

"I know, I can't believe it."

"I want to be able to promise her I'll always be there."

"Brooke stop. We're not doing this today." not wanting to get depressed with the way the conversation was going.

The taxi pulled up in front of Brooke's house and Julian stepped out. He was beaming, so happy to be back, and couldn't wait to see his love. But he was told by her on the phone that she had something to tell him, and he was worried what that could be. Did something happen to Nathan and Haley? Is it Jamie? Maybe Lucas and Peyton's baby? Or was it Brooke?

Brooke was laying down on the couch, resting, waiting for the room to stop spinning. She had spent the morning sick in the bathroom and was finally feeling a little better. She heard keys in the door and watched as it opened to show her boyfriend of a year at the door.

"Mm, hi handsome boyfriend. I've missed you."

"Hi Brooke Davis. You have no idea how much I've missed you. A month is way too long." He dropped his bags, and started walking over to the couch. He noticed she didn't get up to greet him, not that she had to, but he thought she'd want to. Brooke smiled as he walked closer, slowly lifting herself up into a somewhat sitting position.

"You okay, babe? Feeling alright?"

Brooke smiled weakly, and then took a deep breath. Guess this is it she thought. She motioned for him to come sit. Julian sat on the couch by her legs, she tried not to wince as he pulled her in for a hug and kiss. How she had missed his strong arms and soft lips. It really had been too long.

"I missed you baby. I'm so glad the movie's over and I'm back." He pulled out of the hug. "So tell me, what's going on?"

"Okay, before I tell you, please know that I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't over the phone."

"Ohhkay. Brooke what's going on?"

"I just need you to know that. I need you to know that I wanted to tell you and wasn't trying to keep it from you. I can't handle you being mad at me right now. So I need you to know that okay?" Brooke's hands were starting to sweat, she took a deep breath.

"Brooke, baby, you can tell me anything. I don't know what you're talking about, but I promise you, we can work it out. We will get through it. Whatever it is."

"Right after you left I kept having more fainting spells and they got worse..." she paused to watch his reaction. "They were happening almost every other day, and getting worse. My appetite wasn't the same, and I was sore a lot. I, uh, went to the doctor's to figure out what was going on."

"Well good, I'm glad. You have to know what it is so we can fix it, so these spells will stop."

"They figured out what it is."

"Good! Great, so what is it? What's the remedy?"

"It's my kidneys...uhh this is so hard for me to tell you...I have,..I have kidney cancer, Julian." she looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. He stared at her, mouth open. "I'm on the donor list, and...and I've been doing radiation." She lowered her head, scared to see his reaction to it all.

Julian just stared, with concern and love in his eyes, at his love. "You're, you're really sick then. I mean, if you're on a donor list and ...and getting radia...you, you need new organs? I mean, that's a serious thing right." He tried to comprehend all that was thrown at him. He looked around the room and then back at Brooke whose head was still lowered, and he could hear her sniffling. "Hey, Brooke, look at me."

She shook her head. "I can't look at your face- I've hurt you and I can't bear to see you upset at me. I just, I couldn't have you worried while you were away. I wanted to tell you, but, I just- Haley and Nathan have been great and so have the new parents. I just-"

He stopped her with a kiss. She felt a warm tear fall down her cheek, but it wasn't hers. She looked up, breaking form the kiss to see Julian with tears rolling down his face.

"I can't loose you Brooke. I can't. I won't."

"Julian, babe-"

"I wish you had told me, but I'm not mad. You always think of others before yourself. That's something I've always admired about you. You're like a rock, strong, able to stand tall to allow others to lean on you. You're sweet and kind and beautiful inside and out." He was rubbing her hands as he spoke, stroking her hair behind her ears, wiping away her tears. "I, I don't want to go another day without know you'll always be my love."

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere. I'll fight it Julian, I will."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He pulled away from her. She looked confused. "See I had something to tell you, and I want to tell you now." He rummaged through his briefcase and pulled out a velvet box. He knelt down in front of her, taking her hand in his. Brooke gasped.

"I was practicing the whole way from L.A. And while your news scares the hell out of me, it doesn't change the fact that I love you Brooke Davis. And I want to make you my wife."

"Julian, I, I don't want you to have to deal with this. I love you with all my heart and I don't want to lose you. But I don't want you to have to bear this. I don't want you to promise to marry me and then lose me."

"Brooke, shh.." he said as he pulled the ring out,and slowly placed it on her finger. "I said you are like a rock and while I've always admired that, sometimes the rock needs to crumble and allow others to carry them, and love them unconditionally." He had placed the ring on her finger, as Brooke continued to gasp and tear up. "Brooke, cancer or no cancer, I will always be here. I will always love you, whether it's for 10 years or 50, or one day. Make me the luckiest man and say you'll marry me."

Tears now of her own flowing, Brooke nodded. "Yes, yes I'd love to marry you Julian Baker." They kissed and hugged. "I love you," she whispered. He gave her a big hug. "Ssss"

Julian pulled back a little looking worriedly at his new fiancee, " What is it?"

"Sss..mm..you didn't know. It's okay." she said with a smile, trying to mask the pain.

"Know what?"

"I had a procedure done yesterday, I'm just a little sore."

Julian slowly lifted her shirt to reveal a large bruise on either side of his fiancee's even more so petite body. Brooke forced a little chuckle out, "I know, you're fiancee is really sexy."

"Baby you'll always be sexy and beautiful to me. I love you." He gently kissed her bruises, and then reached his hands around her face and kissed her softly on the lips.

Brooke let herself live in the moment. She was to be married to the love of her life. And for just a little while she was not thinking about her cancer, and her dreaded doctor's appointment tomorrow.