Chapter 10

Rated M for Language, Sexual Content, Adult Themes

Warning ! Quite dark, proceed with caution.

Contains FemShep/Liara

This story is about an extremely damaged woman, struggling with love, loss and eventually redemption. She is not exactly likeable, nor should she be.

AN: Big thank you for all the kind words. I'm not sure where this is going or where it will end.

Shepard's first indication, that she was still alive, was the sound of gunfire and sirens. The next thought that raced through her mind, was whether or not that was even possible. Her last memory was the feeling of pain and the darkness that descended upon her after being sucked into space.

An angelic voice rang out across an intercom, which she vaguely recognized, but couldn't quite place.

'Shepard! Shepard! You need to get up!'

A splitting headache stopped any further attempts at recalling what had happened to her. With sluggish movements she did as the woman with the beautiful voice told and gathered up her armor and a pistol, before making her way out of the room.

Liara was sitting in her chair reading a data pad, when she got an unexpected cal from a man she had been trying to contact for quite some time.

The Illusive Man sat in his throne, coldly gazing at her with inhuman eyes. He was a far call from what she had expected, with handsome features for someone his age.

'Doctor T'Soni, introduction on my part seems pointless now really, so I hope we can skip the formalities. I believe I have some good news for you.'

'Well, spit it out then.' Liara replied venomously.

Project Lazarus was a success.'

Complete shock was the only thing the overwhelmed asari could feel. Immediately after the initial reaction had subsided though, it was replaced by roaring anger.

'YOU LEAVE ME IN THE DARK FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS AND NOW YOU"RE TELLING ME SHE'S ALIVE?!

The Cerberus leader simply laughed at her rage and calmly took a long pull from his ever-present cigarette.

'Up until now we had no reason to contact you. However now it seemed prudent.'

He seemed to be waiting for some sort of answer, but when he realized he would be receiving none, he continued as though the interruption hadn't happened.

'Well I'll skip to the point then. Do not, under any circumstance try to contact the Commander. We need her to remain absolutely focused on the mission.'

'You can't be serious. Why, in the name of the goddess, would I ever do that?' Liara said breathlessly.

'If she decides to run off to be with some asari whore, she'll be of no value to me and I'd rather have her terminated. I don't feel like drawing this out, so heed my warning girl, before you make a mistake that you'll regret.'

With that he disconnected the call and left Liara to sob in despair.

Shepard had had a horrible fucking day. First she'd been told that she'd been dead for two years. After that wonderful bit of knowledge had barely had time to sink in, she learned of the colony abductions and of her mission. She had yet to receive any further information, especially the kind she desperately craved.

Where was her old team? Why hadn't the terrorists just picked out someone better suited for the task at hand? Mostly she just needed to know how to reach Liara.

Even thinking of the poor girl made her chest tighten in pain. How on earth had the girl managed to handle her death? Would she still want the things she had wanted two years ago?

The countless questions that swirled around in her head, made it nigh impossible to concentrate on anything going on around her, let alone be able interact with her new acquaintances.

Her first impression of the guy was that he was a brute, who tried to act all compassionate and understanding. Ariadne immediately hated him and did her best to ignore everything he said.

The woman however proved far more interesting. Even though her luscious lips were moving and undoubtedly forming words, Shepard had trouble concentrating on anything but the perfect set of breasts in front of her. Upon noticing that she had started to drool she shook her head to dispel any such thoughts and reminded herself that she was in a committed relationship with someone, even if they hadn't spoken in two goddamn years.

'Did you listen to a word I just said?' The beautiful woman asked.

Shepard felt like she was going to throw up.

'No not really.'

Mirand's chest heaved in a sigh; she just knew that this was going to be difficult.

'I know this might not be the best time, but we are on a tight schedule. We need to make sure that everything in your brain is functioning properly, so once again, tell me where you grew up.'

'Fuck off.'

'Shepard-'

'If you keep talking, I'll shut that pretty mouth of yours for you.'

The remainder of the trip was spent in silence.

Aria T'Loak had spent the last two years building and solidifying her empire. However as more and more time passed, she still couldn't shake the immense sorrow she felt upon hearing of Ariadne's death. Who could have known what the girl would accomplish? The savior of the citadel is what people called her. Aria still secretly referred to her as 'my love'.

Shepard had never been more frustrated and angry in her entire brutal life. Some asshole had told her that she was some tool to be used to stop the Collectors. That's why they had brought her back and put her back together, so she could save the world again.

Then he told her something that had broken her heart. Liara had moved in with some human male on Illium.

Of course she had moved on. Shepard had been dead. It was unreasonable to expect someone to wait for the impossible.

Ariadne had accepted the news with a stone cold face and had agreed to the 'Suicide Mission'.

In her heart, she was already dead.

'That was incredibly foolish.' Miranda scolded her employer, whilst frantically pacing the room.

'It was necessary, the asari is a distraction.'

'What happens, when she figures out, that you just lied to her? What then?'

'By then she'll have hopefully succeeded with her mission and she'll no longer be of any use to us.'

Miranda stormed off without saying another word. She hated the way the woman was being treated; she couldn't imagine the pain she was in. And above all, it worried her. Shepard was known for self-destructive behavior. This ploy was incredibly risky. What kind of ramifications there'd be was anyone's guess.

Ariadne stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom and looked at herself. The reflection was not pretty. Where she had once been rather thin, she now looked anorexic. Her face was covered in red scars, as was the rest of her once flawless skin. The color of her skin had taken on a porcelain white complexion, due to the time spent on an operating table.

'How could anyone love you now?' Shepard asked her reflection.

With a shaking fist she started to slam her hand repeatedly against the glass, until it was completely destroyed and her hands bled. A growing sense of rage started to build up inside of her, as she grabbed a gun from her closet and used the butt of her rifle to demolish the tile of the walls, along with the sink. With a howl of absolute pain she dropped the weapon on to the ground and sunk to the floor, where she sobbed herself to sleep.

Going out on the weekend, don't know when I can update next.