Hello, Hello!:) Man, I am seriously tired and still so jetlagged from Canada. But I just wanted to finish this chapter today and get it out to you!;) I might be taking a little break from this (though tonight I'll probably upload another oneshot ;)) just because I've been tired and cranky for the past couple of days due to lack of sleep and I tend to put my writing needs before my physical So now I'm at a point where I think I just need a couple of early nights. But you know me, I might not stick to it and update in anyway within the next couple of days. This is for the lovely Sara Sheffield, whom I loved to write as a character and who I now, sadly, have to let go. R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...

Chapter 10: A Promise and an Accident

"Niles!" somebody called him and something soft came in contact with his skin.

He blinked and looked up to find a pair of green eyes fixed on him.

"I'm sorry, Kathy." He said, clearing his throat "I was miles away…"

"No, you were with her." She said evenly.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"This blonde woman who you called the Ice Queen, you were thinking about her." Katherine repeated.

He shook his head, although he knew that it was in vain, Kathy had always been able to read him well. When she remained silent, however, he frowned. She looked sullen, almost saddened by his lack of attention.

"I'm sorry, it's very rude of me not to pay attention. It's not that I'm not glad to be here with you because I am, especially given that you'll be leaving soon, but C.C. just infuriates me."

"What do you see in her? I just don't understand, she treats you like garbage…" her voice trailed off as her jealousy became more pronounced.

"Kathy.." he said softly, reaching over the table to take her hand.

He tried very hard to get that feeling, that spark of excitement but it didn't happen and he knew that she was aware of this too. It was true that he still loved her, the warmth in his heart lingered every time he looked at her. It was old, familiar and safe somehow… but he wasn't sure if that was what he wanted.

"She makes me feel alive! I know that it's a twisted relationship we're having but she just makes me want to try harder, to go beyond my limits."

"But Niles, what makes you do that? She is just using you as a servant and you can't deny that it hurts you. Then why do you waste your time with someone who doesn't appreciate what a wonderful man you are?"

"Because she doesn't mean it…at least not all of it, although you are right, it does hurt. I can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe if I keep trying she will understand."

When he returned to the Sheffield residence he was somewhat subdued. He knew that he had broken Katherine's heart and he also knew that he had chosen the harder path, just hoping that he wouldn't regret it. The first noise that reached his ears when he unlocked the backdoor was the ringing of the telephone. He sighed, contemplating for a moment to just let it ring, but something told him to pick up.

"Sheffield residence?"

"Finally!" Maxwell's agitated voice replied "There was a terrible accident, Sara is…" he broke off "Just come to the Downtown Hospital."

"What about the kids?" Niles asked, swallowing to move the lump in his throat.

"The neighbours are watching them." And he hung up. Niles fought the urge to vomit and instead raced through the living room, picked up the car keys and headed for the car.

There was this annoying knock again.

"Go away." C.C. growled but got to her feet when the caller didn't seem to get the hint.

"What?" she snapped, flinging the door open only to find an ashen butler in front of her. "What's wrong?" she whispered, her voice instantly higher as fear rushed through her body.

"Max called, Sara was in an accident." He said and she nodded, grabbing her keys and slamming the door shut behind her, ignoring her TV that was still switched on.

On the way to the car Niles told her about the phone call and the few details he knew.

"I'm sure she'll be fine." He said but she could tell that he didn't really believe it himself.

Nobody said anything else on the drive to the hospital. C.C. kept staring out of the window, thinking about the time she had spent with Sara. She had to be alright, too many people depended on her.

"You go ahead, I'll park the car." Niles said when they pulled up in front of the hospital.

C.C. shook her head, in her eyes the many unshed tears were glistening. She was grateful that he didn't question it, because her throat felt so dry that she was certain she wouldn't be able to speak. Instead he drove inside the garage and jumped out of the car opening the door for her. For a moment she felt as if her knees would cave in, but then he grabbed hold of her hand and they were off. The hospital was a mad whirl of activity and everything just whipped past her as they ran through the corridors. She was glad that Niles had taken the lead and that she only had to follow him, as well as for the reassuring squeeze he gave her hand every other moment. They found Maxwell pacing up and down in front of the closed doors of the intensive care unit.

"What happened?" Niles asked, seeing tears running down his friend's face.

"There was a car accident, a truck on the motorway just crashed into her car and…now she's in there and they said she was severely injured and…" he stopped, shaken by sobs.

Niles felt very close to tears himself, sensing that the outcome of this would be very bad indeed, but then he felt the woman by his side tremble and forced himself to hold on. Instead he pulled her closer, until the light weight of her body was leaning against his shoulder and one of her arms snaked around his to hold on for support. The waiting seemed to drag on forever, and Maxwell was getting more and more agitated. He was furiously pacing, never stopping once and was almost at the point where Niles feared he'd start tearing out his hair. C.C., in the meantime, seemed to be growing weaker as she so desperately tried to be strong. He frowned, wondering if that train of thought even made sense. He just figured that it would be better for her to let out her emotions before she'd break down completely. When the doctor walked through the door Niles immediately knew that Sara was gone. He wore that expression that seemed to suggest that he viewed this simply as his job, not because he was heartless, but rather because if he didn't, it would affect him too greatly. Niles sighed, bringing his left hand up to rest on C.C.'s arm, at least preparing them both for the blow, while Maxwell was too far away to reach.

"I'm sorry Mr. Sheffield, the blood loss was too great, we tried everything we could."

He heard C.C.'s strangled sob and expected a similar noise from his friend, but nothing happened, and the silence was worse. Maxwell looked as if he had had a stroke, his face frozen in one position, and the light in his eyes gone.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid there is something else. Because this was a car accident, we would need you to come and verify that it is indeed your wife." The doctor spoke up again.

Maxwell took one step, when Niles made his decision. "No, I will go instead."

He hadn't known Sara such a long time and he was certain that if there was any chance for his friend to make it, he couldn't be allowed to see his dead wife. Maxwell stared at him wordlessly a blank look in his eyes.

"Would that be ok?" the doctor asked.

When Maxwell nodded, Niles said: "I'm the butler, I know Sara."

When the doctor finally agreed, Niles turned around to C.C. who only reluctantly loosened her grip on his arm. He put his hands either one of her shoulders and ran his thumbs soothingly over her skin.

"Are you able to stand on your own?" he asked quietly, so that only C.C. could hear it.

She just stared into his eyes before giving an almost unnoticeable nod. He smiled weakly at her and then straightened his back and followed the doctor. With every step that he took, approaching the task he had chosen to do, the instinct to turn around and flee grew stronger. But he convinced himself that it had been the right thing to do, for Maxwell's well-being, as well as for the kids who would especially need their father now. He tried to create a rational list in his mind of the short amount of time he would be needing to look at Sara, that her injuries wouldn't look so bad, that he was a grown man and could handle the situation. But the truth of it was that he couldn't, the minute he entered the room and saw her lying there, tears stung in his eyes. She looked so broken and bruised and it didn't seem right that she should leave the world in such a way. He gave the doctor a curt nod and then left the room, but before he could reach the doors that separated him from C.C. and Maxwell, a voice said:

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss; maybe this will be a consolation."

And the broken pieces of the golden marriage band Sara had once worn were pressed into his hand. He swallowed, realizing that this was too much for him to take. He would give them to Maxwell later, for now he needed to be strong and bring C.C. and his friend home. Her eyes immediately found his, as if he was her anchor.

"We're ready to go." He said, his voice sounded raspy as he tried to swallow his tears that had been building up as he realized that they wouldn't be going home anymore.

"Can you take me to the penthouse?" C.C. asked whose voice was as thick as his.

"Of course, if that's what you want?" he questioned, unwilling to let her out of his sight.

C.C. helped Maxwell into the car and them joined him in the back while Niles started the engine. As he drove through the somewhat empty streets of New York City, he kept glancing at them through the mirror, to make sure that they were alright. Once they reached her penthouse he climbed out of the car and opened the door for her, walking her silently up to the apartment.

"Are you certain that you want to stay here?" he carefully asked again, when they had made it to her door.

"Yes, I can't see the kids…" she whispered and at this the tears finally spilled over.

Though his eyes were aching now from the effort not to cry, he still ignored the lump in his throat and wrapped his arms around her. There were no words he could offer to take her pain away and so instead he tried to comfort her with his embrace, rocking them slowly back and forth.

"I don't like the idea of you being alone now, C.C." he whispered into her hair and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"I need to be." She replied, even though it was a lie.

He nodded sadly, extracting a piece of paper from his pocket and a pen from his breast pocket.

"Here." He said, handing her the paper.

"What's that?" she asked, lifting her tear-stained face.

"My private line, call me if you need anything, no matter when." He replied, brushing away her tears with his thumb.

When Niles' head finally hit the pillow, all he wanted to do was to forget. He wanted to rid himself completely of the lingering feeling of dread, of the cries and the tears of the children, of Maxwell's hopelessness and C.C.'s quiet despair. He just wanted it all to disappear, or maybe he was approaching this the wrong way. Seeing as the things wouldn't just go away, perhaps it was him who needed to leave. He sighed, if only it was that easy. But his conscience would never allow him to do that. It was too late; now he was always carry those images with him. Switching the light back on, he picked up the book he had been reading and continued. He didn't care that his eyes were aching with tiredness and unshed tears, all that mattered was that the book helped him get away, if only mentally.

The following days passed by in a cloud of grief and sadness. Sara's parents had to be contacted, the children needed to be looked after and the funeral had to be arranged, he was so busy that he hardly got to talk to Maxwell, let alone C.C. Then, one night, he was just walking towards his room when he heard the faint sound of sobs. He followed them until he perceived them more clearly, leading him to the room Maxwell's only son occupied.

"Master Brighton?" he gently asked, kneeling down next to the child's bed.

"I thought it was all a bad dream." The boy sobbed, curled up in the fetal position "I miss mummy so much. And I think daddy doesn't like us anymore."

Niles sat down on his bed and gestured for Brighton to come closer.

"That's nonsense. Your father loves you very much, he's just upset. Come here."

And he pulled him against his chest, swallowing hard as the small arms of the child wrapped around his body.

"Would you like to see him?" he asked after a while, still rubbing the boy's back.

"Yes." He hiccupped.

"Very well." Niles said with an encouraging smile and took Brighton's hand.

Together they walked through the dark corridors, heading for Maxwell's office, but were interrupted when young Grace began to cry loudly.

"Just one moment." Niles said and went inside to pick up the youngest Sheffield.

He emerged again, carrying Gracie who timidly pressed herself closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, before taking Brighton's hand in his. This time they managed to reach Maxwell's office and Niles knocked softly. When no reply came, Brighton quietly suggested:

"Maybe he's gone to bed?"

But the butler shook his head, knowing only too well where his friend was hiding. To him it seemed as if Maxwell had died with Sara, he never left the office, it had been a chore to persuade him to shower and shave, and he refused any food. Finally Niles decided to simply enter without having received an answer.

"Sir, Master Brighton is here to see you. He's missing his mummy."

Maxwell shot him a look that was devoid of all emotion, suggesting that he didn't even know who he was talking to.

"I can't do this." He said in a monotone.

"But your son is here, he thinks you don't love him. Now you take care of him and bring him back to bed." Niles said sternly and before Maxwell could refuse, he turned around and left.

He tried taking Gracie back to her room, but every time he put her down in the bed, she began to wail and cry loudly.

"It's alright, Gracie. I am going to stay here with you for a little while."

The little while turned into much longer as Niles noticed when the first rays of the sun woke him the next morning, along with a rather lively toddler.

He was so tired and faint that he could barely stand up right, but he knew he wouldn't get any sleep until he made sure she was coping. With that thought in mind he finally lifted his hand to knock on C.C.'s door. No answer…maybe she was out, but where would she have gone?

The repetitive knocking sound drew C.C. from her slumber. She, however, chose to ignore it, allowing that feeling of warmth and nothingness to wash over her again. But every time she got close to dozing off, the sound could be heard again. She let out a frustrated growl and lifted her head, noticing that she had left a trace of drool on the pillow. She removed the blanket but changed her mind again, when the cold send a shower of goose bumps over her body. As the fog lifted and the cold cleared her head, images seeped back into her memory and feelings. Sara was dead… the realization lay as heavy as a stone in the pit of her stomach. She finally looked up as somebody unlocked her front door, though she was certain that if this was a burglar, she'd be too tired to fight him.

"C.C.!" an angry voice exclaimed and she lifted her head up again.

"Oh, it's you. Please don't yell." She replied tiredly.

But the butler didn't have any intention to obey her wishes.

"When I asked you if you were going to be ok on your own," he said loudly "I didn't mean "Are you capable of drinking yourself into oblivion." Because, Babcock, I already knew you could."

"Why do you care? Just go home to Maxwell and kiss his ass." She snapped half-heartedly.

He remained silent for such a long time that she almost hoped he had left, but the loud noise of bottles smashing together told her otherwise.

"What are you doing?" she asked, rubbing her temples and slowly opening her eyes.

"I'm getting rid of all this damn liquor, you will get up from that couch and have a shower, you smell of alcoholic homelessness."

"Why?" she asked, stubbornly.

"Because you need to get your act together!" he finally screamed, losing it completely "Between Maxwell and the kids and my own grief I can't take care of you as well!"

"You didn't even know her!" C.C. spat.

"I didn't know her? She was the only person who treated me like a human being despite my station! I was the one who saw her bruised and burned face, who saw her lying there white and still! I tried to keep that pain away from you and Maxwell and how do you repay me?"

The silence that followed once the door slammed shut was deafening and C.C. almost hoped that he would come back to yell at her again. But there was nothing, just the quiet ticking of the clock and the returning feeling of sorrow.

He had to pull over on his way home because the tears were blinding his sight. He couldn't believe that C.C. was in such a bad state, he could only imagine what it had been like before he had made this discovery. C.C., passed out on the sofa, clutching a bottle of spirit in her hand, desperate for some warmth in her life. He was angry with her and angry with himself for not checking on her earlier, he should've known better. He had seen that she wasn't coping well that night; he should have forced her to come back to the mansion with him. But he hadn't… and C.C. clearly didn't know who to call because her family members wouldn't care. The knowledge that she had had his number and hadn't called hurt him, because he had been certain that she trusted him enough to do so. He sat in the car, slumped over the driving wheel and let the tears flow that he had kept inside for so long, whispering: "Please, give me strength."