This is the end, folks! It only took us... like... four years... but we did it! And we apologize for the impending random crazyness.

One random crazy day, the newsies were babbling incoherently at each other by an open window. They all stopped babbling at the exact…. same…. time…. and….

A DEAD BODY FLEW PAST THE WINDOW.

"OOVBWAAAAAAA!" said Race, running around in circles and screaming.

Random masked strangers with matching tattoos to Spot burst into the room. They took one look at Skittery and said, "AVADA KEDAVRA TO YOU, SPENCER!" in unison. Quite creepily.

A strobe light flashed and Skittery also flew out the window. His body fell down and landed on top of the other body.

Race paused his OOVBWAAAAAing just in time to say, "O-M-G! A BIG GREEN GLOWING FLAME JUST ATE SKITTERY!"

The newsies were beside themselves in terror, screaming and falling all over each other.

"Who's that guy he fell on?" Blink asked. "He's kinda old with a lotta white hair…"

Jack shrugged. "Who cares?"

Spot whirled upon the masked strangers with the matching tattoos. He was about to give them a piece of his mind when he saw their canes.

"OH!" he said in excitement. "I see you have a cane! I have one too! They're very manly, and… TOUGH!" He pulled his out of his belt loop and accidentally flung it into one of the masked stranger's eyes. Both of the masked strangers died of sudden artery clogging.

"THAT TEACHES YOU ABOUT HEALTHY EATING!" Jack yelled.

A couple hours later there was this huge funeral. All dedicated to Skittery! The newsies placed him lovingly into a cardboard box behind this huge marble box. Hundreds of people gathered to speak about Skittery. But they all kept getting his name wrong. Seriously, how do you go from "Spencer Libalibo" to "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore"? Seriously, who the hell is Albus Dumbledore?

Fleur walked up to the cardboard box and looked down at Skittery. "Don't take this the wrong way, but… it never would've worked between us. I'm breaking up with you. I hope we can still be friends." She walked away. All of the newsies stared.

Jack clapped Skittery on the shoulder. "Harsh, man. Whatever. I'm here for you."

Cho, relevant to the plot again, suddenly appeared. "GUYS! THE VORTEX!"

"What vortex?" the newsies (minus Skittery) asked.

Cho rolled her eyes. "You know? The Deep Dark Chasms filled only by Spinning Vortexes of DOOM? The one that only comes around at the beginning and end of the school year, for those kids who can't afford to get to the Hogwarts Express?"

"Oh, yea. That was too many chapters ago. I forgot," said Jack.

"WELL IT'S BACK! YOU HAVE TO RUN!"

"O-M-G!" David yelled. "GOTTA GET BACK TO NEW YORK!"

All the newsies (minus Skittery) banded together and Chicken Danced it to the lake, which was inconveniently where the Deep Dark Chasm filled only by Spinning Vortexes of DOOM was. Even though they were getting increasingly faster to the tune of the Chicken Dance, it didn't look like they were gonna make it! And Chicken Dancing is hard to do underwater.

A giant eye opened underneath them. Race screamed (underwater, which made no noise) and passed out. Les yelled, "LOOK IT'S MY FRIEND THE GIANT SQUID!" (underwater, still making no noise).

"Race! Don't pass out! WE'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE VORTEX!" Blink yelled (underwater… soundlessly).

But Race was still unconscious. After all, his biggest fears were 1) squids, 2) Spot, 3) losing bets.

Several really ugly fish being creatures jumped out from behind kelp. The newsies (minus Skittery and Race) all screamed. Really, they didn't understand the concept about sound not travelling underwater.

The really ugly fish being creatures, however, turned out to be kinda nice. And they pushed the newsies (minus Skittery, plus Race) into the Vortex. They made it through just before it closed, in a very cliché manner, as dramatic stories are wont to do.

The newsies (minus Skittery) were thrown through the wibbly wobblyness of the DEEP, DARK CHASM filled only by SPINNING VORTEXES OF DOOM!

And then they all landed haphazardly on the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Was that the real life?" Blink asked.

"…Or was it just fantasy?" Jack said mysteriously.

None of them could tell. After all, they had all gotten quite drunk before and had similar escapades, involving all manner of crazy random happenstances like freeze rays and light sabers and sonic screwdrivers.

They had all (minus Skittery) convinced themselves that it was "just fantasy" when THE VORTEX OPENED AGAIN and out flew THAT KINDA OLD GUY WITH THE LOTTA WHITE HAIR riding a MAGIC LION!

Race, having just resumed consciousness, passed out again. Understandably, because he is such a wimp.

"RUMBLEROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!" rumbled the voice.

"O-M-G!" Jack yelled. "IT'S THE QUIDDITCH INTERCOM VOICE!"

The newsies (minus Skittery and dragging Race) all screamed and ran away.

Rumbleroar (for that was the name of the now seen voice) did a couple flying loops around the Statue of Liberty before meeting up with a strangely familiar blue box in Central Park.

"Oh, hey, Doc," Rumbleroar said nonchalantly.

"Did the newsies get safely back?" the man in the blue suit asked the lion.

"Oh, yea. They got back fine."

"Good." The man in the blue suit smiled. "Let's go kill the Daleks again."

-Brooklyn-

It was a dark and stormy night.

Spot Conlon awoke with a terrible nightmare. He sat up quickly and grabbed his cane. "I MUST GET TO MANHATTAN!" he shrieked.

-Manhattan-

It was a dark and stormy night.

Jack Kelly awoke with a terrible nightmare. He sat up quickly and grabbed his rope. "I MUST GET TO BROOKLYN!" he shrieked.

THE END.

No, really.