thank you again to everyone who reviewed. i know it has been crazy with all the holidays here in america and then the massive hard drive crash that brought this site to its knees. hopefully everything will be back to normal soon.

D: kerri is mine but the rest belongs to the CW, i'm just having fun.

SOMETHING LOST

Chapter 10

The silence had descended upon Sam and Dean like a dark curtain, the air around them heavy and charged, the small space between them nearly insurmountable. It had been hours since Sam had begged Kerri to help him remember, hours lived in silence, spent searching through the broken family's library, both brothers lost in their own thoughts, falling victim to their own inner demons.

Neither one had said anything after Kerri's confession. The young girl had been left alone to face the fall out of the "chosen children's" destinies, and she had done it with an accepting grace. She didn't fight the inevitable, didn't force herself upon those who had turned their backs. She had taken everything on her own shoulders, dealt with everything by herself and both Sam and Dean found that unacceptable. She deserved more, needed more, but neither brother knew just how to give that to her.

Sam thought everything would be easier if he knew why his father had disappeared, knew how John had learned of the Demon's reappearance. But instead everything just seemed so much more complicated, so much worse. He thought the truth would ease his troubled soul not bring about a whole new level of pain. And, above all else, he couldn't believe what his father had done, how he had treated not only his family, but that of a friend.

Kerri had called him when she had nowhere else to go, she had turned to the Winchesters when all that was left of her life was ash, and she was met with an order for information and abrupt dial tone. Sam could only imagine what had happened to her, what she had sunken into after that conversation. Hell, had it not been for Dean, he wasn't even sure he would have been able to survive after Jessica's death. He was angry at his father, angry at the world, but, most of all he was angry with himself. He had forgotten her just as his father had. 'I guess Dean was right. We are more alike then we think.'

So, instead of talking about things, instead of hugging and crying and telling her they would save her, instead of doing everything normal people would do, the brother's Winchester silenced their broken hearts and threw themselves into a hunt. It was all just too much to take in, too much to comprehend, and so they chose instead to ignore it. They had left her a complete and whole person, and found her again years later, nothing more then shattered remains. And it wasn't fair.

Sam cracked his neck as he looked up from his spot on the dusty floor, the old book propped open on his knees as he leaned against the wall. Hours, he had been in Kerri's library for hours, and was still no closer to finding out what was happening to his brother. There was nothing to suggest that a wraith could bind itself to a living being, and, the more Sam read, the more he thought that they were dealing with something else entirely.

"Hey, Kerri." Sam spoke up, his voice nothing short of booming in the oppressive silence.

"Yeah, Sam?" She piped up from her seat in the hallway, computer on her lap, the young girl still quietly refusing to step over the lines of salt she had laid out after her father and sister's deaths. She had somehow managed to seal off the entire front half of the house, leaving herself nothing more then the dark remains of the original building, anything and everything that reminded her of her lost family having been packed away long before.

"Do you have anything in here about the town's history?"

"Yeah, the brown binders have old newspaper clippings in them, they go back to the early 1800s. Why?"

"Well, no offense, but I really don't think it's a wraith."

"Yeah, I stopped thinking that when it attacked your brother again. No offense taken."

"Care to share your ideas over there, geek boy." Dean chimed in as he laid on the old sofa, his weak voice renewing his little brother's thirst for answers. They all knew that they didn't have a lot of time, the entity effecting the older hunter was still lurking in the shadows, still stalking the ailing man, and none of them knew just how powerful the next attack would be.

He was fighting, battling his assailant with every ounce of strength he possessed, but all three knew that it would not be enough. There was only so long a human being could hold on, and, as much as the other two tried to ignore it, Dean was not a super hero. He was just a man, a strong, self sacrificing man, but a man none the less, and someday something would take him down. Kerri and Sam just hoped that today would not be that day.

"I don't know exactly, I was thinking that it may have something to do with the mines."

"The ones under the school?" Kerri added as she continued to stare at the computer screen while Sam pulled down the binders she had indicated, giving half to his brother. He just hoped the information they needed would be in the records, the younger hunter really didn't have the time or energy to search through all the caverns.

"Yeah. I mean, mines are dangerous, maybe there's a spirit down there?"

"Why didn't it show itself earlier?" Dean replied lazily, stifling a sneeze as thick dust rose from the old records.

"I don't know."

"So, why do you think it's something in the cave?"

"I don't know, nothing else seems to fit. I mean, Jeremy Swan's bones are burned, and I haven't found anything to suggest that a wraith can bind itself to a person. I know it's weak, but it's all I've got." Sam snapped, scrubbing his tired eyes. He knew that it was a long shot but he couldn't just sit there and wait for another attack, couldn't take his time. He was grasping at straws because he had nothing left to hold on to.

"Maybe I just have an affliction."

Sam knew his brother was trying to be funny, knew that he was just as scared as he was, hell, he was sure the Dean was probably downright terrified. Something was attacking him, burning him, ripping him apart, and there was nothing anyone could do but sit back and watch it happen. Humor was his way of dealing, and, judging by Kerri's sarcastic remark, it was her way of dealing with the situation too. But it was all becoming too much for the younger Winchester, Sam feeling just as helpless as the night Jessica had died, and Dean and Kerri were definitely not helping.

"This isn't funny, Dean, you're dying."

"Jeez, Sammy, lighten up."

"Lighten up? Lighten up! How the hell can you tell me to lighten up when your are sitting there, burning and bleeding and there's nothing I can do about it. This isn't a joke, Dean, this is real. And I seem to be the only person that's taking this seriously."

"We're taking it seriously, Sam. Dean'll be ok, I promise."

"You promise! I'm just supposed to lay back and take a deep breath because you promise. I don't even know you!"

"Sammy!" Dean warned, his voice deep and menacing. But Sam was on a roll.

"I mean, you burst back into our lives and everything is supposed to be normal. You left my brother in a motel room for god's sake, what if I didn't get the message?"

"I was watching him."

"I don't care. I mean, if you're so good at your job then why the hell didn't you know that something else was going on? You think you got a simple salt and burn so you call in some old hunters you know. Thank god Annabel or whatever the hell her name was was paying attention or my brother would be dead in a ditch. And you promise me that you'll make this better? You don't even know what the hell is going on."

"I'll figure it out."

"Like you figured out what was wrong with your sister?" The words had left Sam's lips before his mind had even processed them, the younger man immediately regretting it. He was angry and frustrated and Kerri just got in the way of his rage, but the words were still spoken none the less.

He had never known silence to be so unbearable, had never registered such hurt in another person's eyes. It was as though she had physically shrunk, her tall frame sinking into itself. And Sam could have sworn that he saw her soul deflating, could feel her heart seizing in her chest. She had watched her sister die, had her ripped from her arms and set ablaze, and Sam had just made her relieve that all over again.

"Kerri, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, you did." She answered in quiet defeat, her voice so small, so meek that is sounded like a child's. And it was at that moment that he saw, really saw, what the last two and a half years had done to her, what time had taken from her, and he knew that the look in her eyes was something he would never forget.

"I'm just tired, and frustrated. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, I screwed up. But hey, at least you're here to fix it." She spoke softly, her eyes still looking everywhere but at Sam as she pushed herself off the cold, hard floor. "The computer's here if you need it, take as much time as you want. There's food in the fridge."

"Where are you going?" Sam asked in slight panic as he too pushed himself off the floor, the sudden need to protect her overwhelming him.

"Just down to the basement, I have work to do." She stole one more glance at Dean, checking him for any signs of renewed injury before she turned and left, disappearing down the long corridor.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Dean's voice was as cold as ice, slicing through his brother with such venom that Sam instinctively stepped back. His brother's green eyes were burning, an unbridled anger growing in them as he slowly pushed himself off the sofa. He couldn't believe what his brother had just done, what he had just accused Kerri of. He knew Sam was stressed, knew he didn't really mean it, but he had still said it. Kerri may have been a stranger to Sam, but to Dean, she was unforgettable.

She was his best friend, the only other person in the world that he could relate to. They were so similar, yet still so very different and the older Winchester had been drawn to that. They had both lost their mothers to the Demon, they were both the older sibling, both raised in the world of hunters. To Dean, no one was more worthy of trust then Kerri, no one was more on the ball then the Harrison family. And yes, they had lost to the Demon but hell, so had the Winchesters.

"Dean, I didn't mean it."

"You know she saved you from drowning once."

"What?"

"In the lake on her property. A watcher lured you there when you were little, she found you, tried to trade herself for you."

"Dean."

"Do you remember when she helped me carry you back another time, after you got lost in the snow?"

"No."

"How about when she stood up to dad and asked that he let you stay here so you could finish school?"

"Dean, please."

"Or the time her dad saved you from a poltergeist?"

"De--"

"Or when he pulled me from a mount of dirt after a spirit pushed it in on me?"

"Dean, stop! I said I was sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Sam. Her family was good to us, better then we deserved. Her dad took us in, acted like we were his own, and this is what's come of it? This is how we repay him? You know he asked dad to let us stay, to let us be normal. We had that chance."

"What?"

"Dad said no, picked you up and put you in the car, but he gave me a choice. Told me I could be a Harrison or I could be a Winchester. He didn't make me come, it was you. You asked me to stay and I turned my back on everything. But, when the tables were turned, when you were oh so desperate to go to school it didn't matter. I asked you to stay, hell I begged you to stay but you just turned your back and left. I gave up my chance for you, and now everyone is either dead or missing.

"I promised her that I would protect her, that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. And look how that turned out. She's never let me down, ever, so if she promises something, she's not gonna back down. Not like me." And with that Dean turned and left, disappearing into the shadows that had swallowed Kerri moments before, leaving Sam alone, standing amongst the ruins of their battle worn lives.

i know sam seems a little mean, but the poor guy is under alot of stress.

just for fun i looked up the town of Winchester, Wyoming and, to my suprise, it has a grand total of 60 residents. talk about a small town.