To Ranma's great surprise, the gate to school had changed, just a bit.
Namely there was a massive artificial jungle in front of the school.
A guy poked out from behind a fake tree, holding out a megaphone, "Ranma Saotome! We, the Furinkan High Survival Games club, challenge you!"
Yuushi still wasn't walking with her to school so with a sigh she marched in alone.
½ Ranma
Episode 10: Loving and Losing
Every day in the Kendo Club they followed a pattern. Kuno would be beaten off by Ranma or Yuushi, and the actual practice would begin.
Drills, drills, and more drills. As a student of Martial Arts, Ranma was used to constant repetitive drills. Once the daily drills were done they partnered off to actually match against each other.
Ranma had, of course, picked up Kendo quickly, to the point where the only people she could spar with were Kuno and Yuushi. Kuno of course was out which left Yuushi as her main partner for Kendo. There wasn't much talking, just the loud clacking of shinai hitting each other.
Ranma was, of course, a speed demon. Yuushi could not keep up in the slightest. It was only the rigid forms of Kendo that let Yuushi pull off the amazing feat of standing up to her..
Plus Ranma was distracted, that helped for today at least.
With a final snap Yuushi got in the second hit he needed to win their spar.
"And done. Practice is over Ranma." Yuushi announced in his captain voice.
Ranma was, of course, scowling at the loss. She pulled off her men and groaned. "Damn it."
"Well that's my win I guess Ranma." Yuushi couldn't help but smirk. Ranma's continuous blind spot in Kendo that let Yuushi win more matches than not was an endless source of entertainment for him.
"Yeah yeah fine El Capitan." She grumbled, "Don't rub it in. One day I'll figure out the trick to this sport."
"Maybe I'm just naturally better at Kendo then you?" Yuushi said with a grin, in response Ranma smacked him on the head with her shinai.
"Maybe your heads getting too big Yuushi." Ranma said, her mood not improving when he just laughed.
"So, have you managed to kick enough of the student's body behinds for Nabiki to have to find a new scam?" Yuushi asked.
"No idea." Ranma said.
An awkward silence followed, Yuushi wanted to try suggesting that Ranma try and make peace, but even bringing it up would bring another screaming argument. "So…. how about we go home?"
"Look if you…" Ranma trained off when she realized that Yuushi wasn't starting another argument. "Y-yeah. Home sounds good. Let's get changed and head home…"
"Tell you what… once things settle down a little, I buy you lunch, my treat." Yuushi said.
Ranma's eyes bulged out, "Eh…? Wh-what? I… Uh…. what?"
Yuushi frowned, "Lunch? You know. Something you like? I know a good burger place where-"
"Tendo!" Kuno jumped between them, "How dare you! Who gave you permission to ask Ranma on a date!" He pointed his own shinai at Yuushi. "I, the Shining Light of Furinkan High will not permit it!"
"D-date? It's not a date damn it!" Yuushi shouted.
"Ranma!" Kuno grabbed Ranma's hands, "My love, do not listen to this swine's honeyed words. Come! Date with me! It shall be a passionate, beautiful display of the purest love! Together we shall throw off the shackles of Tendo and that vile miscreant that even now holds the tokens of our love hostage!"
Ranma's eye twitched, "I… am… not...dating anyone!" She shouted, before kicking Kuno through the ceiling and out of the kendo club. "Especially you!" She glared at Yuushi.
"I wasn't asking you on a date!" Yuushi shouted, "Who the hell would want to take you on a date anyways!"
Ranma stepped back, her frown deepening, "I just kicked out a guy who did you moron!"
"Oh yeah, Kuno, good catch. I guess a guy does have to be crazy to want you!" With a loud snap, Yuushi's head was knocked to the side… Ranma had slapped him. He rubbed the red mark on his cheek.
"You… you… I can't believe I ever wanted to help you…" She said.
"I never wanted it!" Yuushi snapped back, before being knocked over by Ranma stomping past him to the changing stalls.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures." It was night time at the Tendo household, and Kodachi was standing outside its walls. It was a dark night, storm clouds covered the stars. It might rain soon, all the better to set up her vengeance! "It's been a long time since I've had cause to grace my future husbands home." Kodachi liked to deliver soliloquies, after all as far as she was concerned she was the heroine of this grand play called life, so why not play it up to the audience?
"Alas, every day I know my beloved wastes his life in this hovel, yet I am forced by matters of the heart to let him! Ahhh he is so noble! Living the an honorable life of poverty to prepare himself spiritually!" It should be noted that the Tendos are in no way poor, they'd best be described as "Upper Middle Class;" living very comfortably off wise investments by Soun supplemented by martial arts classes he taught. Kodachi just has a skewed view of wealth
"But now… now! I know not what scheme that red haired harridan has conjured up! An attempt to bind my beloved in a false engagement! And to top it off, this final indignity… to hold my beloved hostage in such a way… to keep me from obtaining even the slightest token of my love… unforgivable!" In her hands was none other than the Kuno family blade! She had managed to steal it from her brothers room, and if he could use a sword then she should have no problem! "With this… that wretched Ranma will pay! And me and Yuushi can finally embrace and be as true lovers should! Ohohohohohoho! OHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
A young family walking by for an evening stroll winced as they walked past the laughing girl.
"Mommy." Their young daughter said, "She's scary…"
"Just ignore her and hope she doesn't notice us dear."
"Stupid Yuushi. Stupid Nabiki. Stupid Kuno…"
Ranma flipped the camera between her hands. This entire plan had seemed so simple, except nobody seemed to be playing along.
Especially Yuushi! Why that idiot wasn't thanking her was beyond Ranma's understanding.
Well, maybe Ranma had acted rashly. Maybe she should have talked to Yuushi and Kasumi about it Or maybe she should have punched Nabiki in the face, damn the guilt and the lecture Genma would inevitably give her.
With a sigh, she sat up, still holding the camera. "This has gone on long enough." She needed to go talk to the residents of the house she was staying in, work out some kind of accor-
"Ranma Saotome, prepare yourself!"
Ranma lept to the side as Kodachi dropped from the ceiling and stabbed a katana into her tuton.
"Why are you in my room? How did you get in my room?" Ranma said, "Damn it Kodachi!"
"Enough Saotome! Today I end this farce! You will surrender all claims on my beloved, and release the tokens of my love!" Kodachi pulled the sword out of the futon and shakily pointed it at Ranma, "Or else I shall be forced to use drastic measures!"
Ranma groaned, "Kodachi, have you ever used a sword in your life?"
"I have the blood of samurai in me Saotome! Mastery of the sword is in my very being! If my fool brother can do it, one such as myself can easily accomplish it." Kodachi said.
"That's a no then." Ranma said with a groan. This was exactly what she needed. A lunatic swinging around a katana. "Please put it down before you hurt yourself."
"Do not try and distract me temptress! I strike!" Kodachi raised the sword over her head and swung it down in a poor imitation of a kendo swing. Ranma of course, easily dodged it. She dodged the next swing following that. "Hold still you harridan!"
"Oh yes that's a great idea I'll let you gut me. Wait no. That's stupid." Ranma said, "Also, your swing is wrong and any minute now that thing is going to fly out of your hands."
"Do not speak to me in such a way peasant!" Kodachi said, raising up the sword again. "I will strike you down!" She swung the sword, Ranma dodged, and it flew out of her hands… embedding itself into the ceiling. Kodachi stared up at her sword, her mouth hanging open.
"Yeah. Like I said." Ranma pointed to the katana.
"Words cannot describe the loathing I feel towards you." Kodachi said.
"That's a surprise, with the way you blabber on about nothing I figured you'd have a big enough vocabulary for it." Ranma said.
Kodachi jumped up and pulled the sword from the ceiling. "Die!"
"Hey, Nabiki, you in here?"
Nabiki looked up from her manga, "Well hello there Yuushi."
Yuushi dropped a ticket over Nabiki's book, "Pay up."
"Pardon?"
"I beat Ranma today, I bought into this dumb revenge thing. So pay up." Yuushi said.
Nabiki frowned, shutting the book. "Look. Yuushi, I don't think managing to hit Ranma twice with a stick before she beats you into next week counts as beating her."
Yuushi slapped one of the flyers Nabiki had set up on her bed. "It says all I have to do is beat Ranma. Heck, it actually doesn't say anything about beating her in a fight at all! I could have challenged her to checkers and it would check out."
Nabiki picked up the paper, "Damn. You have a point. Fine… let me just take my cut. I think 50% should be reasonable…."
"Twenty." Yuushi said.
"I'm not made of money here." Nabiki glared at her brother. Sadly, he wasn't effected it quite as much as some other saps had been. "Oh, fine. Because you're family." She opened up her lockbox, pulled out the cash and handed it to Yuushi.
"I know you got more bets than that Nabiki."
With a roll of her eyes Nabiki pulled out the rest of the money Yuushi had somewhat won and handed it over. "Well, I hope you're happy." She opened the manga back up and started reading… only to notice that Yuushi had not left. "What now?"
"You're going to stop this petty little revenge now." Yuushi said.
"Revenge? My dear brother. I would never stoop so low as to get petty revenge." Nabiki said.
Yuushi didn't even bother to give that statement a response. "You're also going to stop selling pictures of Ranma. It's one thing to do it to me. I don't care. But Ranma's a guest."
"I thought you were taking my side in this little debate me and Saotome were having?" Nabiki said with a frown.
"It's irritating me, OK? Plus, come on, you already get enough snack funds from Kodachi."
"Give me one good reason why I should even begin to compromise."
"If you don't, I'll get Kasumi." Yuushi said with a smirk.
"Oh you would not dare Yuushi."
"I dare. If you want to wear clean underwear ever again, I suggest we come to an agreement." Yuushi was giving her a triumphant smirk.
Huh, so he actually cares about her after all. Nabiki thought. After all, Yuushi had actually brought out the big guns. Threatening to bring in Kasumi for their disputes was an extreme last resort act. One which both Tendos knew could only be used sparingly, for maximum impact. Here Yuushi had brought it out as the opening salvo.
Still, Nabiki still had her pride. "Come on Yuushi. Kuno pays big bucks for these and it's not like Ranma doesn't beat his ass into the pavement on a daily basis."
"What about the other horny guys who are going to be drooling over her?" Yuushi said.
"Why should you care?"
"Damn it Nabiki, she's a guest!"
"Right right. Guest. Got it." Nabiki said, a grin forming. "But you know I'm going to have to ask for a compromise. At the very least, I want to see if I can get Kuno-baby to actually fund my college education."
Yuushi frowned at the appearance of her grin. "Well…. I guess Kuno is pretty harmless. I mean, he's an idiot and a pervert, but he has this weird gentlemanly delusion about it all. But really, Kuno was the entire reason Ranma was upset about it!" He was beginning to think bringing out Kasumi first was a bad idea, now Nabiki was going to demand compromise because he had nothing else for leverage. "Come on? How would you feel if somebody was selling photos of you?"
"I'd find the price they were charging and undercut them." Nabiki said without an ounce of shame.
Yuushi should have known an appeal to empathy would fail. "...ugg… fine. As long as not a single other person gets a single photo of her, OK? If you promise that, I'll convince Ranma."
"Sure thing my cute little brother. The minute I have a camera again I'll let up on Ranma and only let Kuno-baby have candid shots. I'll even be able to triple the price since they're exclusive now!" Nabiki said.
Then a katana exploded through Nabiki's door, sailing through the air between brother and sister, and embedded itself in the wall.
Nabiki and Yuushi stared wide eyed at the sword that just entered Nabiki's room. Then her door was kicked open and a madwoman charged in laughing.
"Damn it Kodachi give it back!" Ranma shouted, jumping in after the deranged Kuno.
Somehow while Ranma and Kodachi had been running around the Tendo home, Ranma evading Kodachi's wild swings and Kodachi pulling the sword out from walls, Kodachi had managed to get ahold of the camera. Jumping across the room, she pulled the sword out of the wall. The blade in one hand and the camera in the other.
"I know know what trickery you use to disarm me Saotome, but it will not work!" She pointed the sword in what she thought was a dramatic thrust at Ranma. In reality it was far too shaky to look threatening. She rose the sword above her head, "I shall strike you down like the demon you are!" She jumped forward, ready to attack! She swung her arm down… and noticed that she no longer had a sword in her hand. "Huh?"
Yuushi had snuck behind Kodachi, plucking the sword from her hand.
"Y-Y-Yuushi… darling… what brings you here."
"I live here." Yuushi said, and Kodachi swooned. With a gentle smile, Yuushi took Kodachi in her arms, carrying her bridal style. "Kodachi?"
"Y-yes…?" Kodachi said.
Meanwhile Ranma was scowling. Suddenly beating up both Yuushi and Kodachi at once was seeming like a great idea. "Yuushi…." She growled.
If Yuushi heard Ranma, he didn't give any indication of it. Instead, that kind and sweet smile was still on his face. He looked down at Kodachi in his arms. "You know what I've said before."
"I… I've forgotten… darling…"
Yuushi nodded in understanding, "I'll help you remember." Then, with the gentleness of a mother praising her child… he threw Kodachi out the window. "Stay out of my house!" He sighed with relief, "Well that problem's solved…"
Then Ranma slapped him on the back of the head. "You idiot! She has the camera!"
"What? Why didn't you tell me?"
"You were too busy flirting with her!"
"I was not flirting!"
"Oh so you just naturally hold swooning girls in your arms?"
"I threw her out the window!"
Ranma and Yuushi both looked ready to start inflicting violence on the other.
"Far from me to interrupt this wonderful debate." Nabiki spoke up, "But she has my camera."
"Oh crap!" Ranma shouted, jumping out the window after Kodachi.
The rain came down over the house, and Kodachi laughed.
She had jumped up to the Tendo roof, and was laughing at the fortune the gods had granted her.
"Ah… to be embraced by my beloved! Ohhh his many passions were so intense! Yet…. yet he knew he could not sully my honor until the wedding night, no matter how much we desire it! So… so he forced me away from him, all for my sake!" She didn't care that she was in a leotard in the rain, her love for Yuushi would overcome mere weather!
"Ah but what to do with this?" She didn't know why Ranma wanted the camera currently in her hands, but she imagined it was for some foul and perverse purpose!
"Kodachi!"
An unknown voice called out her name. Who was it? Kodachi wondered who the unknown man calling her could be… someone sent by Ranma to attack her? No! She would not allow defeat! She would retreat for now, store away her trophy, and return to her love to retrieve the family sword! And then once she was alone with Yuushi they would… they would…!
Laughing maniacally, Kodachi rebuked the unseen man coming towards her. "You think you can contain the Black Rose! Fools! I shall return for my love!" With another laugh she moved to jump off the roof… and slipped. The rain made her footing slick, and before Kodachi knew it she was falling headfirst towards the ground. The camera slipped out of her hands, and Kodachi watched wide eyed as the ground approached closer and closer…
A strong hand grabbed her ankle, and she stopped falling.
"You OK?" She heard that male voice call out, before with one hand pulling her up! Kodachi gasped at his strength. He let go once she was safely back on the roof. She pulled herself up and turned to thank her savior.
"I…" Kodachi was left speechless at the gorgeous man standing in front of her. His fairly long dark hair was soaked by the rain, and Kodachi could see every muscle underneath his oddly tight clothing. "I… I thank you!" She shouted and hugged him.
"Ack! Um… yeah… thanks? Look, Kodachi… let me go."
"Oh I can't just let my savior go without a proper reward!" Kodachi said.
"Well… how about the cam-"
"Oh I know!" Kodachi pulled out a bouquet of black roses, "Here, accept this humble gift." She shoved the roses in his face.
"Uh… thanks?" He said, before the paralysis gas came over his face. Her savior fell on his back, unable to move.
"There we go!" Kodachi said happily, "Now… my handsome young savior… it is time for your real reward." She leaned down towards his lips. Why, with the way his eyes were twitching it was almost like he didn't want this! But that's a silly thought, no man could ever not want her. He must be restraining his passions like her beloved Yuushi.
Closer…. and closer to him, soon he would taste her perfect kisses!
Then she fell unconscious from a hard hit to the head.
"Sister! Where did you hide away the family sword!" Kuno shouted at his unconscious sister, not noticing the person she was on top of. "Sister?" Kuno frowned, realizing that he had knocked Kodachi out. "Hah! It would seem my might is too fearsome… yes I must learn to control this terrible power, but first I must destroy Tendo!"
"Kuno!" Yuushi jumped up from the window to the roof. He had the umbrella in one hand and the Kuno Family Blade in the other. "Take your sister home!"
"Tendo!" Kuno snarled, "I come here not for the machinations of my twisted sister, I come to destroy you once and for all!"
Yuushi rolled his eyes, "Just take her home, and take this dumb sword with you." Yuushi tossed the sword in Kuno's direction, the blade embedding itself into the roof a short distance from Kuno.
"How dare you steal the sword of my ancestors Tendo!"
"Take it and get off my house!" Yuushi shouted. Kuno recoiled at the fire in Yuushi's eyes and considered that this might not be the best time to antagonise him.
"Humph. Very well Tendo." He picked up the sword and his still knocked out sister, "I shall be generous and spare you this day."
"Whatever. I'll kick your ass tomorrow Kuno." Yuushi said as Kuno left. He walked over to Ranma, noticing the bouquet laying next to him. "Word of advice Ranma; never accept a gift from Kodachi." Bending over he picked him up, "It'll wear off in a minute or so. So, where's the camera?"
Ranma's eyes bulged out, he struggled to speak. "Fall… it… it fell!"
Yuushi's own eyes widened.
Ranma and Yuushi stared at the broken, waterlogged remains of Nabiki's camera. There was no hope of salvaging it. The lens was cracked, and water had filled the entire device.
"Oh crap." Ranma finally said.
"Oh?" A cold voice made both Ranma and Yuushi shudder. "Is that mine, Saotome?"
Ranma tried to hide the camera behind his back, "I, uh, er…. look! It's Kodachi's fault!"
"If you hadn't taken it, then she wouldn't have had the opportunity to break it." Nabiki said simply.
"L-look! OK! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break it! I'll make it up to you, I promise!"
A smile formed on Nabiki's face. "Oh. Very well then. I have an idea."
A click and a flash, and Ranma wiped the fake smile from her face.
"Very good Saotome, you look adorable I must say."
There were times when Ranma cursed being naturally short. Nabiki taking photos of her in a middle schoolers uniform, her hair done in a cute side ponytail was one of those times.
"Oh, Kuno-baby's going to love this." Nabiki said with a smile.
"How much did that camera cost?" Ranma asked, her tone desperate.
"Hmm… can't remember." Nabiki said, "I'll have to check the receipt later." She made a mental note to find a way to break this new camera before Ranma could pay off her current debt. Or perhaps she could use accounting tricks and pile all her business costs onto the 'Ranma photo sales' budget and make it so that on paper she only made a single yen profit per session. She could easily do both, she reasoned. "Still, I think it worked out for the best, now smile and give me a V-sign!"
Back on went the fake smile, more clicking as Nabiki took cute photo after cute photo. Finally the door opened, and Yuushi entered Nabiki's room.
"Are you done?" Yuushi asked.
"Almost." Nabiki said, pulling out two swimsuits. One a daring bikini and the other a school swimsuit. "Next we have the swimsuit photos. Since I'm feeling generous Ranma, I'll let you pick which one you want to wear."
Ranma's eyes twitched. "Which one will have Kuno drooling less?"
"Can't say. One one hand the bikini will, well, expose a lot to him. But the school swimsuit will scratch his purity fetish." Nabiki said casually.
"Damn it the school swimsuit then. At the very least I'm going to minimize the skin Kuno sees." Ranma snatched the swimsuit out of Nabiki's hands and stood up to head to her room to change.
"Hey, uh, Ranma?" Yuushi asked.
"What?" Ranma asked.
"Err, well, remember that offer? How about we get some lunch after you're done?"
Ranma was quiet, thinking about Yuushi's offer. "Sure, why not. See you later then." She left the room.
"Asking her on a date, how bold." Nabiki said with a sly grin.
"It's not a date Nabiki!"
"Fine whatever…. so I'm guessing you don't want her to go dressed up in that uniform huh?"
"N-no I don't!" Yuushi shouted. No way did he want to go out somewhere with Ranma while she was dressed like that!
Even if she did look really cute.
Especially if she looked really cute!
Yuushi knew it wasn't a date. Yet he was still a little disappointed. Because Ranma had not only changed out of any remotely cute outfit to head back to the normal chinese clothing she wore… but she had also changed into a guy.
"So why are you…?"
Ranma gave Yuushi a raised eyebrow as he sipped his shake, "So it's not a date. Just two guys."
"It's not a date in the first place! I just wanted to apologize!" Yuushi groaned, couldn't Ranma accept he just wanted to be a little nice?
"Plus… girls can't eat greasy burgers like this." Ranma said with a grin, "We'd get fat." To emphasize he took a big bite out of the pile of cheese, bacon, and beef that was somehow held in a bun.
"Ranma, you are the last person to worry about gaining weight." Yuushi said, "You get more then enough exercise. Hell, I'm wondering how on earth you even have any spare body fat for-" He stopped himself as he realized that this conversation was not on a safe topic.
"For what?" Ranma asked.
"Err…." Yuushi tried to figure out a way to ask how Ranma managed to have such large breasts in his natural gender without it ending in Ranma murdering him. Or at the very least a distraction to make Ranma forget the line of conversation.
Then a massive hole exploded out of the west wall of the restaurant. Yuushi briefly thanked any nearby god or other entity for the timely distraction. He and Ranma turned to look at the source of the explosion, even as other people stood up in panic.
The dust cleared, and Yuushi saw that it seemed that a person had caused the massive hole. He was a tall young man, dressed in a purple changshan with black pants. His long dark blue hair flowing behind him, his face a feral grin. In one hand, a heavy weapon Yuushi recognized as a chui, in the other a massive broadsword.
"It's been a while, Ranma." He said, "Get ready to die!"
Yuushi's glanced back at Ranma, who's eyes were wide with fear. "Oh… come on! What the hell are you doing here Soap?"
"搜暴" - "Searching Violently" Sao Pu. Soap.