Title: TH Elvenking's Visitors
Chapter 10: Hall
Spoiler Alert: The Hobbit (books, maps and movies)
Warnings: Language, Sexual Situations, Violence, Humor.
Pairing: Thranduil/OC
Summary: Ship - Thranduil lost his wife years ago to war. After the death of the dragon, there is a group of humans who are causing problems. One sparks Thranduil's interest.
A/N: I have to work a lot, so I am writing this in parts. So I think I will start with humor before talking about the end of Middle Earth at the Dark Lord's hands.
Alyssa glanced down at the green shirt that only had one clasp holding it closed. "At least the clasp is near my tits. Kind of lower than what I would want. Man it shows off way too much cleavage, but I don't think there's anything else I can do. I already took that ribbon and tied it around my waist like a belt to hold it shut there. Oh, you could give me your silver cape robe thingy."
The Elves outside the room listened closely for his response knowing the answer would be no.
Thranduil tipped his head back and shrugged it on. "I most certainly will not. Besides it is too long for your arms and it will drag the ground."
"It drapes out in the back when you wear it." Alyssa put her hands on her hips.
"Yes, thank you." Thranduil swirled it with a flourish. "It was designed for a certain amount to be that way, not half of the material. It would be ruined."
"Ok fine. I guess because I'm a human they won't find it strange that I'm dressed like a hooker since you guys think so lowly of us anyway. Alright. I'm ready. Let's go." Alyssa turned for the door.
"Wait. You should remain here and we will conduct business. And what pray tell is a hooker?" Thranduil strode up next to her and secured his crown in place.
Alyssa stopped a few feet from the door and lowered her voice more thinking they could not hear, but she was wrong. "A prostitute."
Thranduil just blinked at her not understanding.
"A umm lady of the night, whore, tramp, slut, call girl, working girl, hoe, pro, harlot…concubine, courtesan…any of these ringing a bell?"
Thranduil blanched. "I believe I know what you are talking about, but I have never acquired their services to ring my bells."
Alyssa laughed. "No. When I say something does not ring a bell it means that it is not making a connection in my memory. When you hear something and all of a sudden it makes sense that is like a bell ringing. Ding ding Ding like light going off…understanding. It's just a saying. And women like that don't ring bells they suck, lick or rub them. And while we're on the subject, I've never heard what they do as ringing someone's bells but probably a better phrase would be umm tea-bagging. No, just forget about that. An easier phrase that probably means more of what you meant is blow job."
Thranduil tipped his head trying to understand everything she said. "Blow as in air?"
"No, blow as in ummmm fellatio. Uuuummm it's a vulgar way to say oral sex for a guy."
Alyssa glanced over his face seeing that he still did not understand and probably would not get any technical words because medical doctors were a lot different from healers here. She continued to talk with her voice down and hoped some slang translated. "bob on a knob, give head, suck dick, deep throat, hummer…Why is this so difficult? I know…you guys have different words for it. Ummm ok you get hard right then a woman uses her mouth to get you off."
"Off of what?" Thranduil inched closer having no idea what she meant and part of his problem was that fact that half her breasts were showing.
Alyssa held her hands up in the air knowing in her wildest dreams that she never thought she would have to try to explain blow jobs to an ancient Elf of Middle Earth. "You. Get you off. Ummm. You know how I climbed on top of you and rode you like a jockey well picture that but with me using my mouth instead." Alyssa smiled seeing that his expression changed.
Thranduil gasped in air at the shock and scandal of it. He instantly heard Elrond out in the hall start choking violently on what Thranduil guessed was a glass of wine.
"What? Do you get it?" Alyssa hoped the expression meant he understood.
"No my lady. I have never had that particular type of activity. You shock me speaking so." Thranduil tugged on his silver robe as if he were trying to cover more of his body and adjusted his sword.
"Never?" Alyssa moved closer and didn't notice he moved back. "Like ever?"
He shook his head no hearing Celeborn clearing his throat out in the hall.
"Well, let's have this meeting and talk about the end of the world then I'll take care of that for you." Alyssa smiled knowing that she would pull out all the stops. "You keep glancing at my tits, so we can get them in the show too."
Thranduil glanced down at her chest then up to her mouth. He felt light headed as if he might faint. His reaction made him angry, but the confusion pushed it away.
"You don't get that either…um…like this." Alyssa ran two fingers under her shirt so they stuck out between her breasts then lowered her head flickering her tongue then lowered her mouth over her fingers because she didn't want to spend an hour trying to explain it to him.
Thranduil stepped backwards against a chair. He stumbled over it almost falling into the floor.
"Oh my gawd are you ok?" Alyssa lunged forward and grabbed his arm.
"I…I…believe we should talk about this later." Thranduil stood up and straightened his clothing trying not to look at her.
"Yes, we need to get out there. It's rude to have them sitting there bored to death.
Thranduil followed her not mentioning that they had probably heard everything. "Wait. I will give you my robe."
"There's no time for that. This wouldn't look so bad, but I'm not shaped like the twelve year old boy these clothes were made for." Alyssa stomped out of the room in her black boots and pants with her breasts barely restrained by the shirt. "Let's hope I don't have any further wardrobe malfunctions."
Thranduil turned the corner into the hall and forgot how to walk. He gripped the doorframe as his eyes slid from her cinched waist that was belted by a ribbon down to her rounded ass that was swaying with each step. He thought about how she rode him and what her skin felt like that was now wrapped tightly in black cloth.
Alyssa didn't hear him walking and stopped turning back to him. She saw his eyes move from her lower body up to her face. She took a breath of irritation as a confused and stupid grin widened on his face. "Stop staring at my ass and come on."
He lunged forward kicking at his robe and caught up as she started forward again.
He reminded himself that he was the one that was supposed to seduce her into losing the ability to think and not the other way around. One glance let him know that Celeborn was not happy in the least, Elrond was amused and Legolas stared at her then turned to inspect the wall appearing as confused as Thranduil felt.
When they reached the group, Alyssa told herself not to try to tug her shirt together because she might accidently undo the clasp and then it would look intentional. Instead, she smiled glancing at the men and noticed that Elrond had some wine on his brown formal jacket.
Thranduil stood next to her knowing that because the appointment was held in his kingdom that he was supposed to take charge. The problem was that he couldn't even remember why they were meeting. He closed his mouth when he noticed that his jaw was hanging open. He swallowed and blinked trying to no avail to remember what he was supposed to do or say. He knew he was being utterly ridiculous, but couldn't help himself.
Alyssa saw all the men staring at Thranduil and decided she should say something because he wasn't. "It's good to see all of you. I know you have a meeting to go over important things, but first I need a few minutes of your time. There is something that I think I should tell you. I may not be able to go into a lot of detail, but I think I can mention a few things that might help your decisions be a little easier. Is there a room where we could go where no one will hear us talking?"
When Thranduil just kept sill, Legolas stood up and motioned them down the hall.
Alyssa tugged at Thranduil's sleeve the whispered. "What's wrong with you?"
"You." Thranduil followed Legolas into a chamber and stood at the door to close it once everyone was inside.
A/N: hehehehee Ok, this chapter would have been twice this size, but because of my time constraints I am posting what I have and will write about the meeting when I get more time. And yes, I think she needs to know Elvish. I admit it, I wanted him flustered in front of the others so that later he can be angry about it. Humor feeds later angst.