X-Sammii-X, I love funny detective novels. The two best I've read recently both have (completely different) detectives called Ethan Knight, which was a surprise! If I'm managing to write a funny detective story, then I'm very happy! I'll have to see if I can write some more scenes for Jacob and Cal - Jacob isn't completely ruled out yet. Thank you for your review.
CBloom2, thank you for your review. You're right - I'm not sure Cal would get very far if he decided to become a detective for real. As a doctor, he goes by gut instinct a lot and often gets it right, but he's had years of training and experience as a doctor. This is something a bit new.
Tanith Panic, it's not mean at all to hope it takes Cal and Ethan a long time to find the perpetrator - well, they might think it's mean, but I'm taking it as a massive compliment! I thought Jacob would definitely see the funny side of being investigated by Cal and Ethan. Thank you for your review.
ETWentHome, thank you for your review. I left it open who the person was in the hope at least some people would think it was Mac, so I'm really glad you did. That's one thing we can do that the Casualty writers can't - no-one could mistake Lily for Mac on TV!
Ethan looked upset. "Why my phone?"
"Because if it's my phone, he'll think it's a joke," said Cal.
Ethan looked unhappily around the cupboard. "And why in here?"
Cal couldn't help grinning. "Ethan, I get why you don't want to invite your ex-girlfriend's dad into your naughty cupboard – God knows what you and Honey got up to in here! But before you requisitioned it for your own very personal use, this cupboard was an admin cupboard And Noel's admin staff, isn't he?"
"It's not my naughty cupboard!" said Ethan, flushing hotly. "I've never done anything naughty in here and the only time I went in here with Honey was before we were going out. She couldn't find the light switch so I switched on the light for her and then left." He frowned. "I was quite concerned about her. She was speaking in a very husky voice and her pupils looked a bit dilated, so I thought she might be coming down with something. I asked her if she was okay and said she didn't look too good, but she seemed a bit annoyed. I think she might have had back problems too – she was kind of swaying her hips and holding her head on one side."
"Um… riiiight," said Cal. "I was going to ask you where you do your naughty stuff if not in here, but on second thoughts…"
"I don't do naughty stuff anywhere!" said Ethan.
Cal smiled to himself. "Are you sure this isn't your naughty cupboard? You're looking all hot and bothered already and you're only in here with me."
"It's hot in here," muttered Ethan.
"Thank you," said Cal, smirking. Not that he wanted his brother to find him attractive, but Cal did like to annoy him.
Ethan glared at him. "I didn't mean that and you know it!" He found Noel's number and started typing. Hi Noel, I don't suppose you have the spare key to the administration cupboard? I am afraid I very foolishly seem to have
"Ethan! it's a text, not a novel!"
got myself locked in, typed Ethan. I realise this is entirely my fault, but I would really appreciate it if you would let me out yourself as I really don't want anyone else to know the true extent of my stupidity. Thank you very much and I apologise for the inconvenience.
"You just wait till Noel posts that text on twitter," said Cal.
Ethan didn't exactly go pale, but some of the red faded from his cheeks. "It can't be helped. If I sent a short text, he'd never believe it was from me."
Cal waited till Noel was out of sight, then went beside the admin desk and sat in Noel's seat.
"Can I help you?" said Jack's latest replacement. She was much prettier than Jack, but sadly didn't share Jack's interest in flirting with Cal.
"I've got a headache," said Cal. "I was wondering if Noel had any paracetamol."
She looked at him incredulously. "You're the doctor and you're trying to get pills from the receptionist?"
Cal smiled. "Have you ever tried getting pills from one of the doctors? We had a theft a while ago and it's like getting a date from a nun. It's just not going to happen."
As he spoke, he was sliding his hands under the desk, checking every shelf and drawer he could find.
His fingers closed around something and he gasped in triumph. He slid the little box into his pocket and stood up. He winked at the girl. "See you later."
"It would be difficult to avoid me, considering I'm stuck here on reception."
Cal arrived at the naughty cupboard just in time to see Noel opening the cupboard door.
Cal's jaw dropped.
A topless Ethan was standing with his arms around Elle.
"Ethan? What the…" Noel obviously couldn't believe what he was seeing either.
"I didn't realise Elle was in here," explained Ethan. "She was… behind one of the shelves, kind of. But once I did know…."
"You decided to take your top off," said Noel.
"No, I took it off before I realised she was here," said Ethan. "I'm really hot."
Cal laughed.
"Oh, no, I mean the cupboard is hot," said Ethan. "Not me. I know I'm not hot. Thanks for unlocking the door, Noel. We'll be out in a minute."
"Right." Noel put the spare key in the door and walked off.
Elle lifted her head from Ethan's shoulder and wiped her eyes. "Sorry."
Ethan's face was full of sympathy. "Please don't apologise. I actually hid in here a few times after Honey broke up with me."
"I knew this was your naughty cupboard!" said Cal triumphantly.
"More my crying cupboard," said Ethan with an embarrassed smile. He turned back to Elle. "Please don't worry. I'm sure everything will be okay. It's so stressful working here and sometimes we do fall out, but I'm sure it will sort itself out. Lily had a few problems before Christmas: she lost her father and she was naturally very upset and she made a few unwise decisions, but everything's fine now."
"I didn't realise how amazing Charlie was," said Elle.
"Of course you didn't," said Ethan gently. "How could you? You don't know him. He's just an old guy with tramadol in his locker. Of course you were going to be suspicious. I'm sure I'd have done exactly the same when I first joined."
Cal looked around the room, trying to pretend he wasn't terribly proud of Ethan for being so lovely, and something caught his eye.
It was a blister pack.
A blister pack that had formerly contained tramadol.
Cal picked it up. "Okay. I'm pretty sure this wasn't here when I locked you in, Ethan. And I know you didn't plant it here. So there's only one way it could have got here."
Ethan didn't move from Elle's side. "I'm sure there's an explanation, Cal."
"Yes, I'm sure there is," said Cal. He walked back and forth, playing with the blister pack and quite frankly enjoying the moment. "So, Elle, you went to Connie, claiming to have found the tablets in Charlie's locker. They were shocked and horrified. Not because Charlie had done it but because you'd put them in a position where they were forced to punish him."
"I thought it was the right thing to do," said Elle.
"Technically, it was the right thing," said Ethan supportively.
"So shocked and horrified," continued Cal, "that it didn't even occur to Connie to question whether what you said was true. But it has occurred to me. How did you manage to see inside Charlie's locker?"
"He left the key in the door," said Elle. Defensively, she added: "But I wouldn't have looked inside if I hadn't already been suspicious. I asked him how the problem of the stolen tramadol had been resolved. He refused to tell me." She looked apologetically at Ethan. "It seemed like he was hiding something."
Ethan offered a smile. "And you were quite right, of course. He was."
"But we only have your word for it, Elle, that this conversation with Charlie even took place," said Cal. "We only have your word for it that the tramadol was ever in Charlie's locker. I think actually the tramadol was in your locker and you wanted a convenient scapegoat. So you chose the guy who looked just the right age to be picking things up and putting them absent-mindedly in his locker."
"Very nicely-argued, Detective Knight," said Elle. "But completely wrong."
Cal smiled pityingly. "But you would say that, wouldn't you?"
"Um, Caleb," said Ethan hesitantly.
"Not now, Nibbles."
"No, Cal." Ethan's voice was firm this time. "You said Charlie told you he was covering up for the person who stole the tramadol. But if Elle had stolen the tramadol, she would never have reported him. Why would she report someone who was covering up her crime?"
"But the tramadol wasn't really in Charlie's locker," said Cal triumphantly. "She just said it was."
"And then what?" said Ethan. "Charlie told Connie he'd never seen the tablets before and Connie chose not to believe him?"
"Obviously not!" said Cal.
"Or did he decide on the spot that he would lie to protect a doctor who barely knew: a doctor (I'm sorry, Elle) who had searched his locker without permission?"
"Okay, maybe he didn't do that," admitted Cal.
"I really think it's far more likely he's covering up for a friend, as he said," said Ethan.
Cal held up the blister pack. "Then what is Elle doing with this?"
"I think we should let Elle explain that, don't you?" said Ethan. He smiled apologetically at Elle. "If you want to, I mean. It's not really our business."
Elle sighed. "It was a stupid idea. I know it was. I just felt so bad that I'd done that to Charlie and I wanted to do something to help, but all I could think of was leaving the blister pack in here for someone to find."
"So they'd know the thief was someone who was working here today – and not the guy who'd been suspended?" said Cal.
Elle shook her head. "That wouldn't work, unfortunately - it could have been here for days. Besides, everyone knows Charlie isn't the thief. But I thought if something like this was found, maybe everyone would stop looking at me like I murdered someone and start looking for the culprit." She looked away. "I'm sure I deserve everything that's being said about me, but while it might relieve their feelings, it doesn't help Charlie."
Cal felt himself deflate. He knew he could have argued with Elle. Again, they only had her word for anything.
But he believed her.
"You don't deserve any of the things people are saying about you," said Ethan kindly.
Elle gave a wry smile. "So, they are saying things about me? Thought as much."
Ethan went red. "Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't mean… they're not saying anything really bad…"
Elle patted his arm. "Ethan, when you do get around to taking a girl into your naughty cupboard, she's going to be a very lucky girl."
Ethan blushed even more. "Oh… um… thank you."
Cal enjoyed Ethan's embarrassment for a while, but then he looked at the blister pack again. "Elle, where did you get that blister pack from?"
"It was in the bin in the staff room," said Elle.
Cal gave her an incredulous look. "You're searching through bins now?"
Elle hesitated. "I saw someone throw it away."
"Who?" asked Cal excitedly.
Elle didn't say anything.
"Come on, Elle! Tell us!" said Cal.
"Can you really blame her for not telling you?" said Ethan. "After the way everyone reacted when she reported Charlie?" He turned to Elle. "You don't have to tell us anything. But it doesn't automatically follow that the person who threw it away is the thief. It's possible they found it lying around and decided to throw it away. I often do that myself."
Elle considered for a while. Cal could hardly keep still with impatience. But finally, Elle nodded. "The person who threw it away was Max."