I don't own neither Highschool DXD or Urusei Yatsura. They belong to their representative owners
[Lum No Love Song]
(A blank blue screen appears, then a heart with bats wings soon appear, drawing a star.[Song Start] Then the title appears, Issei freaking out and trying to hide from someone.)
Those Obnoxious Demons
Ammari sowasowa shinaide.(The screen soon change pink, showing Lum,freaking Issei out)
Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro.(Lum soon wags her finger as Issei runs around)
Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!(Lum skips side to side, Issei ducking under the screen)
Watashi ga dare yori ichiban(The screen changes Lum's position revealing her tiger skin boots and bikini)
Suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!(Lum is shaking side to side excitement, while Issei was meeting Rias, Akeno as a shrine maiden, Asia as a nun)
suki yo... suki yo... suki yo...(Lum is shaking side to side again, while Issei was seeing a strawberry blonde, a blunette, and a blonde magical girl)
suki yo... suki yo... suki yo...(Lum is shakes side to side once more, Issei comically caught by the kendo clubs with is friends)
suki yo... suki yo... suki yo!(Lum soon kiss Issei one the side, making him blush, but soon punched by Koneko)
Hoshitachi ga kagayaku yofuke(A UFO draws a heart pattern, soon reveal that Lum riding on top of it)
Yumemiru no anata no subete.(Issei is dancing side to side, but Lum and Rias are side stepping towards him, causing him to shrink)
Aishite mo anata wa shiramburi de.(The two maidens try to kiss him,but he soon duck. Issei leaning back soon join by the other girls surprising him, all of them step dancing)
Imagoro wa dare ka ni muchuu.(Issei sneaking away with a smile on his face, but soon meets a baby on a floating potty, and breathed fire on him, looking quite charred)
Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne (A tiger striped ship flys off screen, bat hearts moving across the screen, leaving pink neon streaks behind. The Urusei Yatsura cast running across the screen, red ribbons following them. The fish creature soon following them)
Aaaaaaaaaa achikochi ni baramaite. Watashi o nayamaseru wa (A tiger striped space fighter float off screen. The Highschool of DXD cast are flying upward with a hearts in the back ground. The fish creature tries to fly but soon falls, revealing Issei and Rias sitting on the moon together as lovers)
Ammari sowasowa shinaide.(Lum soon appears on the opposite side, tilting the moon and sliding Issei towards her)
Anata wa itsudemo kyorokyoro.(Rias pushes down, tilting the moon back and sliding Issei towards her, Lum does the same thing, both aren't eager to share Issei. Issei himself looks a bit nervous being between the situation)
Yosomi o suru no wa yamete yo!(Lum appears in pink once more wagging her finger, while Issei is running around)
Watashi ga dare yori ichiban.(Lum is shaking side to side in excitement)
Ichiban suki yo!(Issei soon sits down, sighing)
Chapter 09A: Father, you Were Strong
The scene opens with sounds of grunts and battle cries as Issei is now training with Koneko, with some small improvement when facing the tiny terror. "HA.! HO! YAH!" Issei roars as he try to connect powerful punches against the nimble Koneko, or what he consider powerful. Koneko can only see him trying to punch with pillows for fists. Issei is still raw, still relying his street fighting style, but his reactions is getting better. Issei is anticipating Koneko's attack quicker, his attacks are coming closer to connecting with Koneko, but he still have lots to learn.
"Mmm, that was a nice cleaning." Akeno said washing herself from a nearby stream. Her hair and skin shine, showing that she is still wet, and whats more, she is still wearing her wet white robe, showing her clearly visible nakedness underneath. Issei is distracted, and drooling at this sight. Akeno sees him looking and her and only winks at him. At that moment, Issei felt great pain as Koneko slugs him across the face, making him tumble across the earth until he crashes into a tree.
"Pervert. Try again." Koneko said to the bleeding Issei.
"Aw, too bad Issei. I was getting a good excitement from that." Akeno said as she kneels affront of Issei. Not far, hidden in a tree is a small camera, observing Issei.
From he otherside of the camera is Kurama and her Karasutengus, monitoring Issei and his training, and the tengu princess is growling at this. "Grrrrrr..., Turn it off!" Kurama orders to the scout.
"Yes ma'am." The scout complies as he turns off the TV set. The princess sighs at the sight of this.
"I can't belive it. Honestly, the only thing that commoner ever thinks about are women." Kurama said as she remembers Issei's training from earlier. She remembers how Yuuto was training Issei in sword combat, but Issei is soon distracted when Oyuki was taking off her kimono, showing off her revealing one piece orange suit, causing him to get hit by Yuuto, making him skid across the field. She then remembers how everytime that Issei tries to apply his magic on a vegetable, he continues to look as Asia with a worried look, causing the vegetable to either fail in peeling, or explode in his face. She then remembers how Issei is struggling in physical training when the devil and oni princesses are hanging close to him, trying to 'encourage him with rewards'.
"I know princess, but Issei Hyouhou's personality is not cause by bad genes, but in the environment that he was raised." The old crow goblin said to Kurama, her only reponce is to huff at it.
"Old man, do I really have to mate with this perverted commoner? Why can't I have the knight as my mate?" Kurama asks, the old crow goblin sighs at this.
"As I said before princess, no matter how much of a pervert he is, it is traditional to mate with the man who gave you the Kiss of Awakening. No matter how much you see the blonde knight as your 'ideal mate', he didn't perform the kiss, thus not eligable to mate with you." The old crow goblin said as he strokes his beard. Kurama can only growl at his explanation.
"Was I born under a unlucky star? To see my ideal mate, but bound to a perverse commoner?"
"I don't know princess, but you have to get ready soon for the husband's mental training." One of the Karasutengus servants said to Kurama. "So what will be today's character changing training be?"
"I think I shall show him a true example of a man." Kurama answers to the servent. "I'll make him a diciple of my ideal man for a while." This propitiation catches the old crow goblin's attention.
" 'Ideal man' ... I see. Very well, we will prepare the husband's next training." The old crow goblin said, nodding.
Back at the training site, Lum begins to float down from the sky and flies towards the mansion. The scene change to the kitchen, seeing Koneko washing her bloodied hands in the kitchen sink. "Darling, I'm back." Lum said, expecting Issei in the kitchen, practicing his magic, but only see Koneko. "Oh, sorry Koneko. Have you seen Darling?" Lum asks.
"He's gone. A karasutengu came and took him to Kurama." Koneko said, drying her now blood free hands. Lum is now scared, know what Kurama planning.
"Kurama took Darling? Darling is in DANGER! Don't worry Darling, I won't let that old hag change you-ICHA!" Lum said as she flys towards Kurama's training site. Koneko only stares at the flying oni and can only wonder.
"What did that pervert did to woo her?" Koneko said with her barrette nya confusedly. Lum flys far above the forest, looking for Kurama's Conch shell ship, and not long sees it, sticking out.
"Damn you Kurama!"
Inside Kurama's Ship...
"Aaaaaaaaaa otoko no hitotte. Ikutsu mo ai o motteiru no ne."
"Ahh, its been a while since I streach my feathers." The scout said as he watches a music video show of Azusa Yamamoto, while enjoying a large bowl of real ramen soup with a silly straw. He then scream in surprise as he is suddenly grab in a tight grip.
"Where did Darling and Kurama go?" Lum demands as she held the scout in her face.
"I-I mustn't tell! Even with my beak torn open, the Princess's order..."
"Even if you become barbaque Tengu?" Lum interupting the scout.
"Even then, I can't tell!" The scout pleas loudly.
"Ara, then let have a go." Akeno said not that far, surprising Lum. Soon enough, Akeno grabs the scout and begins let her lightening magic course through the scout's screaming body. As Akeno blushes at this, Lum begin to question the Sadomasocist devil.
"What you doing? Are you here to steal Darling from me?" Lum asks, her energy couring through her body.
"Huh? Oh no, I was just curious on what Kurama is planning next. Last time she send Issei to a small piece of hell, making him scream and cry in fear." Akeno shivers in delight on that though, as she continues to electricute the scout. "Beside, I can't let Rias and Asia follow him alone again." On those words, Rias and Asia come out of hiding, wearing their espianoge clothing. Lum can only twitch her eye brows at his.
"And why are you two doing here again?" Lum questions loudly.
"Well... I worry for Issei's wellbeing. Kurama's idea of training are risky and strenuous on any creature. I just came here to make sure that Issei is alright." Rias answers, trying to not give away her true attention.
"I came here for the same reason as Rias. I came because I worry of Issei's well being. He went through a difficult trial when Kurama tries to change him last time. I don't know what he had experience, but for a brief moment, he was lost and scared, without hope. O Lord in Heaven, please grant safe passage for Issei, for he will have a long a difficult trial. May he be forever protected in your light, Amen." Asia answer honestly, finishing with a prayer, or painful prayer to Rias and Akeno.
"Che, fine, but don't expect me to trust you three, Darling is mine!" Lum said loudly. She the stares at the crisp scout, who is moaning in agonizing pain. "Ready to talk?"
"Y-y-es, I'll talk." The scout said, not wanting more torture from the brunette devil.
"Honesty is the best policy." Akeno said with a warm smile.
"So, where did they go?!" Lum questions.
"They went back in time to train under Saru (Certain man)." The scout answers.
"A Saru?! Why would Kurama want Darling to be trained under a monkey (Saru)?" Lum asks in a surprised look.
"No! Not a monkey. The Princess want the Husband to train under the Princess's Ideal man." The scout clears up. "She is training Issei Hyouhou like a monkey, to imitate the man."
"So, once more, where are they?" Lum threatens, the scout shaking under her glare.
"Its not where, but when!" The scouts answers once more.
The scene changes to Japan, 14th century. The scene is a forest of evergreen pines, a shinto shrine nearby, somewhere in the mountains. Four figures begin to appear, and solidify into existence. They are Kurama, two of her servants, and Issei Hyouhou, falling flat on his face.
"Ah! Shit." Issei groans in pain, but Kurama shushes him as she guides him to a small opening.
"Look carefully, as you are going to see the men of all men!" Kurama said as they hide behind the bushes, while a scenec battle is taking place.
A large group of tengus are flying towards a young man, branding only a wooden sword. Many of the little tengus are rushing towards him, aiming to pierce his body with their spears, but the young man only rush towards them and with a few swings, knocks them out of the air, making them fall to the ground, but the tengus are far from done. Soon enough the young man jumps backwards to avoid a deadly slash from a small group of human sized crow tengus. The Human sized tengus surround the young man, readying their katanas in Kendo fashion. The young man's hand are still on his blade, anticipating their moves. They stood still in silence, not moving a single inch, until a small flock of birds flew over them, giving the tengus a signal to attack. Beating their wings, they rush at the young man with great speed, ready to cut him down with a overhead swing. Before the tengus bring down their swords, the young man intercepts them and stops them all with his wooden sword. The tengus struggle against this, trying to bring down their blades, but the young man pushes them back, leaving them vunerable. With a few seeable swings, he struck all the human sized tengus, nine times, simultaneously, knocking each of them out cold. A loud battle cry is hear over the young man as he jumps away as a giant, large nosed tengu drops from the sky, carrying a war hammer in its hands. With a giant swing, the tengu aims for the young man. The young man ducks under the swing as it destroys the earth, trees, and stones that are in it's path. The tengu prepare another swing, while the man bring the sword to his side, ready to draw it. When the Tengu swing, the young man dash forward, the war hammar barely grazing a single strand of his hair, and draws his sword in a single slash. The young man lands gracefully and sheaths his sword, while the giant tengu groans and collapses to the earth. One of the small tengus brings out a white flag and begins to wave it. "We surrender." The small tengu said, saying what everyone it thinking. The young man only chuckles at this.
"Bakame, surprise attacks mean nothing to me. You can't beat me!" The young man said to the fallen tengus.
"Please Lord Ushiwaka Maru, meet the princess." The small tengus pleas to the now named Ushiwaka. "I know that we have to defeat you in battle in order for you to meet the princess. We even call in favors from the Terran clans." One of the small tengus point at the still fallen larger tengus, revealing to Issei that they are actual tengus.
"So what the hell is going on?" Issei asks loudly.
"Shush, just watch." Kurama said as this event continues.
"While I am glad you remember our agreement, and enjoy our spares, I cannot meet your princess until you defeat me." Ushiwaka answers.
"Can you at least carry this picture of her? She is a heavenly beauty." One of the small tengus said as he was about to bring out a laminated photo of their princess, but with a single swing, Ushiwaka destroys the photo, surprising the tengu.
"I am not interested in WOMEN!" Ushiwaka said loudly. Issei heard on what he said and is greatly pissed at this.
"That stupid ass Bishonen! I bet many women flock to him and doesn't even gives them a simple glance. Thats it! I'm going to KICK HIS ASS!" Issei roars loudly as he is going to summon Boosted Gear, but Kurama pulls him back in protest.
"Don't do that to Papa!" Kurama screams, causing Issei to stop.
"Wait, Papa?"
"Yes, that young man is Ushiwaka Mara, or better known as Minamoto no Yoshitsune. This man is the embodiment of Princess Kurama's ideal man, but also her father." One of her servents explains.
"Wait? You are the daughter of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, the most famous samurai in history?" Issei asks in disbelief.
"Yes. Papa is Number One in the world." Kurama said with admiration as she looks at her father.
"I have only one desire and its the destruction of the Keike Clan!" Ushiwaka said with passion and determination. "I can't waste time with women or distractions."
"So beside being history's greatest samurai, what so great about this Bishonen?" Issei asks.
"That stoic attitude, that unbreakable determination, his handsome face! That what make Papa great!" Kurama said as she remembers reading stories about her father, her mother remembering her times with her father. "So this will be your training for today. You shall learn under my Papa, learning his ways and if the heavens will it, some of his determination will rub off you." Issei only sigh at this.
"Alright, but how can I train under him? Your dad have a one track mind right now." Issei points out.
"Don't worry, I already have a plan."
The scene change, showing the Shinto shrine, serving as a place of stay for the last Minamoto clan member. Inside, Ushiwaka is staring at Issei, or at least, Issei disguised as a Tengu; a crow faced mask that design to move with his facial expressions, clothing that Kurama's servents wear, and gloves that look like bird claws. "So, can I become your disciple?" Issei asks.
"What? My disciple?" Ushiwaka asks in confusion.
"That's right. By orders of the princess." Issei answer, referring to Ushiwaka's future daughter.
"I see. The princess wants you to beat me in swordsmanship if she learns from me, thus making me see her. Is that correct?" Ushiwaka said with a smile.
"Sure. Lets go with that." Issei said with a shrug. "So, will you?"
"Might as well. It might make training more exciting when facing a tengu that knows my moves." Ushiwaka said with a smile. Not far from the duo, four individuals are coming into existence, and soon after, solidify, revealing to be Lum, Rias, Asia and Akeno.
"So this is 14th century Japan." Rias said as she looks around. "So where is Issei?"
"I don't know Rias, but I am surprise that you aren't going fangirl right now, asking every warrior and warlord for a autograph." Akeno tease, knowing Rias's weakness.
"I don't fangirl on everything Japanese!" Rias denies, despite the fact that she have a room dedicated to Japanese culture, from feudal Japan to modern anime figurine collection.
"Darling/Issei!" Both Lum and Asia said loudly as they look for Issei.
"Asia? Rias? Akeno? Lum? What are you guys doing here?" Issei asks them, surprising them at his appearance.
"Darling? Is that you?" Lum asks.
"Yes. Kurama gave me this costume to look like a Tengu." Issei explain.
"But why?" Asia asks curiously.
"Kurama want me to train under this guy for a while." Issei said as he points at Ushiwaka, but Ushiwaka is standing there, frozen as he stare at the girls.
"Those curves! Those inhuman curves! That shouldn't belong to priestess!" Ushiwaka said, pointing out Akeno. "The pale porcelin skin with such red hair..." He now point at Rias. " Those golden hair and green eyes, on such a innocent form..." He said at Asia now, making Issei grab something near. "And that skin, that bare SKIN!" Ushiwaka said as he freaks out the most, seeing Lum's exposed form. And in that moment, Issei slams a wooden hammer on Ushiwaka's head.
"Sukimono (Lecher)!" Issei screams as he slams the hammer.
"You idiot! You suspost to say sukiari (laying oneself open to attack)!" Ushiwaka said with remaining conscience he haves.
"Alright." Issei said as he lift his hammer again. "Sukiari!" Issei slams the hammer once more, knocking Ushiwaka fully unconcious.
"What happen?" Lum asks in confusion. Issei walks to the fallen Ushiwaka and examines him.
"I guess this what happens to those who have no interest to women. He was exposed Rias and Akeno's beauty, making him react like a ametur, same with Asia. And seeing your bare skin was too much for him, having never seen a woman's bare body." Issei explains. "I still can't believe that this Bishonen is Minamoto no Yoshitsune."
"Wait! You mean this is Minamoto no Yoshitsune, THE Minamoto no Yoshitsune?!" Rias asks with shock on her face. Issei nod and she screams in delight as she rushes towards him. "Oh my Gosh! He is Minamoto no Yoshitsune, the most famous samurai warrior in the world! Rumored to have fought a thousand warrior and won without a single scratch!" Rias said with stars coming out of her eyes.
"Ufufufuf, Rias you're doing it again." Akeno pointing out Rias Fangasm. Rias notices it to and collects herself.
"Sorry you have to see that. It just I have a minor weakness for Japanese history and culture." Rias explains.
"She a uber fangirl for it." Akeno whispers into Issei's ear. "She even have a whole room dedicated for it."
"Anyway!" Rias said loudly. "Why did Kurama send you here?" Rias asks.
"She wanted me to be train under her father." Issei answers.
"This man is Kurama's father?" Asia asks, Issei nodding.
"Its a shock to me too. This stupid Bishonen, who is turning down women, is Kurama's father, and judging his reaction, he have no idea how to react." Issei said as he stands. "I guess I have to teach him about women."
"You're a expert to the fairer sex? Ara ara, I didn't know that." Akeno openly tease. While Issei flusters, Lum is staring greatly at the fallen Ushiwaka.
'So, this man is Kurama's Papa?' Lum thought darkly as she hatches a plan.
"I wonder on how he is doing right now?" Kurama asks herself as she walks towards the shrine, but instead of hearing her father lecturing Issei, she hears the reverse.
"Ok, here are some of the main points of attacting a woman." Issei said as he points at a picture of Akeno posing seductevly. "A woman alway love to be complimented, but careful if its too truthful or hurtful. Be careful to not use vulger jokes early on." Issei said as Ushiwaka nods.
"More tea?" Asia asks Ushiwaka, offering him to pour more tea.
"Yes, thank you." Ushiwaka thanks as he takes a sip. Not far, Rias is staring at a piece of paper with childish glee, as Akeno only giggles at this scene.
"I can't believe it! I got a one of a kind signiture of Minamoto no Yoshitsune! This will be my greatest treature ever!" Rias squeals as she held up the autograph of Ushiwaka. Kurama sees this and start to get irritated at this.
"That Idiot! What the hell he think he's doing!" Kurama takes out her fan and aims swings it at Issei and the uninvited guest! "Take this!" In a swirl of wind, Issei, Rias, Akeno and Asia are suddenly lifted into the air and are now flying towards a secluded spot.
BAM
"What the hell are you doing to my Papa?!" Kurama screams as she slams a wooden hammer on Issei's head.
"I'm teaching him on how to be a man!" Issei answers as she got his head unstuck from the ground.
"Why are you teaching him such out-landish thing?!" Kurama demands.
"Sorry to say this, but when it comes to women, he's pathetic." Kurama can only stare at Issei, on what he said about her father. "If he flirts with your mother, he can only fall and stumble, and thats just from meeting her face to face. Imagine him trying to court her when she just showing some skin!" Kurama can only growl at this.
"He's right." Rias said. "Despite being Minamoto no Yoshitsune in the near future, he is now Ushiwaka Mara, a young talented samurai from a lost clan, that have no experience with women. If he is truly your father, if he courts your mother now, it will have disaterous results." Kurama face pale at that thought. If what they say is true, if her Papa try to court Mama now, her existance would be gone.
"Tsk, fine teach him some idea on how to behave with women, but I expect you not to teach him lecherous thing!" Kurama screams.
"Don't worry, tomarrow, we'll be going babe-watching in Kyoto tomarrow."
"Kyoto?!" Rias said with glean in her eyes. "Can we come? I always want to see Kyoto."
"Sure Rias. I don't see any harm." Issei said.
The scene change to the next day, showing what Kyoto looks like in the 14th century. Everyone is present, with the girls wearing kimonos, Rias, who is smiling with glee, and Akeno, with many bystanders asking her for blessing from the Gods, Asia, who many are curious of her 'Exotic Looks', and Issei with Ushiwaka, who are checking the local women, and sadly for Issei, most of them aren't lookers. Some are too young to be courted, some were more masculine, and others were just plain old ugly. "Damn, this might be harder then I thought." Issei said out loud, still wearing his Tengu costume.
"That is why I don't do it." Ushiwaka sais with a robe covering most of his face. "Until I destroy the Heike clan... I souldn't look at any women."
"And it has nothing to do with how I fix your hair?" Issei said as she remove the robe, showing that Ushiwaka's hair is done with two pony tail connected to the base of his bun, instead of his tied single ponytail.
"Ok, you caught me." Ushiwaka emits. Ushiwaka look at Issei's friends and asks him. "May I ask you, Tengu?"
"Sure, what is it?" Issei answers.
"How are you come across these women? I apologise if I sound rude, but its hard to see you attracting women of these calibur." Ushiwaka said, not knowing Issei's human face. Issei just growl a bit and decide to give him a half-truth.
"Well, it started when I first met Lum."
"The Oni?" Ushiwaka said with a blush.
"Yes. Her father wanted to invade my home village, but in Royal Oni tradition, I was randomly chosen to face his daughter, Lum, in a game of Tag for ten days. No surprise that I was losing for nine days straight, but one the ten day, I was catching up to her, but I was scaring her, making her lose focus on whats around her. She fell of a cliff and I jump to save her. I took the blunt of the fall, and she was scared for my wellbeing, and in that moment, I grabbed her horns and won the challenge. She was surprise on how I took that fall like nothing, but then she was... 'smitten' on how I save her despite being enemies."
"And the priestess and foreigners?" Ushiwaka asks further.
"Well, for Rias, she is a princess of the underworld." Issei said, surprising Ushiwaka. "When she heard of my victory with the Oni, she came to me and offer me a place in her court. I said that I needed time to think about it, and on that particular day, I met Asia, lost to our lands. I offer my service as a guide and show her a place to stay. We have many fun that day, but I lost track of time and we forgot about the place." Issei's face turns a bit darker. "However, we later learn that the same place was full of fallen heavenly beings and priests, only wanting Asia's special ability of healing." Issei stares at Asia in worry. "I first lost to them, but I soon follow them and free Asia from their clutches, especially with Rias's followers to help me. From that day, I swore to protect Asia from all harm, and to always to see her smile." Issei smiles at that thought. "As for Akeno, I met with her teacher and she was gravely sick. I offer her to help her get home, and in gratitude, she offer me service to expel the unsusal bad luck I had that day. When she was performing the ceremony, for some reason, all of the disease spirts inside her were attacting towards me, and in a big explosion, all of bad spirits disappear. When Akeno came and check out the scene, she found out that somehow I had a hand in her teacher's sudden health improvement. I don't really know how she feels about me, she just like to tease me alot." Issei said as he sees Akeno grinding her foot on a peeping tom's head, her face flush red in bliss. "And that is my story." Ushiwaka is surprise on hearing Issei's deeds. While its not completely true, the main truth is in there.
"Hmph, I see now. I can now see how these women are attracted to you, though I am surprise as to why your princess is asking for me and not you." Ushiwaka said, not knowing that that Issei was ordered by his future daughter, not his future wife/lover.
"What can I say, she like pretty boys like you, Bishonen." Issei said as Ushiwaka nods.
"I see. May I ask you one final question?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Where is the Oni currently at?" Ushiwaka asks. Issei blinks and looks around for Lum.
"I... have no idea." Issei honestly answers, but have a gut feeling that Lum is planning something.
It is now night, with a feudal castle in the distance, a full moon in the sky, and a large stranger carrying a spear is standing on a bridge. A heavily robe figure approach at the stranger with purpose. "Honored priest... will you please do me a favor-icha?" Its not hard to guess that its Lum.
"What is it sweetie?" The stranger turn to show that he haves a very large overbite, unattractive large lips, and for some reason is wearing tacky shades in the middle of the night. Lum is surprise by the man's look but continue on as she brings out a laminated picture of Ushiwaka.
"When you meet this person, I want you to render him incapable to have children-icha." Lum said as she reveal her plan to remove Kurama from existance.
"Umm... yes, agreed." The stranger said. He then turn towards the otherside of the bridge as he hears the sound of a flute being played.
"I leave it to you." Lum said as she hides herself. Walking towards the stranger is Ushiwaka, playing a wooden flute, still wearing a robe over his face, Issei walking beside him, along with Asia, Rias and Akeno with many item from their day visiting Kyoto. The stranger readys himself as the group approaches. As the group reach midway, the stranger brandishes his spear and blocks their path. Both Ushiwaka and the stranger stare at each other greatly, mentaily ready themselves for combat.
"Hey sweetie, come play with me, will you?" The stranger spoke. The group look at him strangely as the stranger call Ushiwaka 'sweeite'.
"Who in the world you called sweetie?" Ushiwaka asks. "Are you referring to one of these women?"
"See that right there? That is one of the bad way to pick up women. To force a woman is to invite disaster." Issei whisers to Ushiwaka's ear, nodding in understandment.
"SHUT UP!" The stranger screams, surprising Issei, Asia, Rias and Akeno. "Someone asks me to make you incapable to have children!" The stranger said loudly, pointing his spear at Ushiwaka. Not far is Kurama and her servant, sneaking around to make sure that Issei didn't do anything to her Papa.
"What? Could this be Lum's doing?" Kurama whispers outloud.
"If your father loses, you will disappear." One of her servents said.
"Sweetie, prepare yourself!" The stranger screams as he rushes towards Ushiwaka, his spear aiming towards him. Issei push Asia, Rias and Akeno out of the way, but he is almost nicked by the stranger's blade. Ushiwaka unsheath his katana blade and knocks away the stranger's spear. The stranger roars as he spins his blade overhead, and with a slash, he created a vacuum, heading towards Ushiwaka. Ushiwaka dodges that attack, but the attack created large damage to the bridge, making a large gash. Ushiwaka swing his sword at the stranger, but the stranger block each attack with his spear. The stranger parrys Ushiwaka's attack, and begin to rapidly pierce Ushiwaka. Ushiwaka move his sword to block each strike. The clash of both weapons are heard, sparks flying as the two weapons hit one another. Soon, the two begin to press their weapons againt each other, neither giving in. As this was happening, Rias, Asia, and Akeno are watching the scene, with Rias smiling with glee.
"I can't believe it!" Rias said as she record the event with a digital camera.
"Can't believe what?" Asia asks.
"This is the battle of Goji Bridge! The very battle that made Benki swore loyalty to Minamoto no Yoshitsune!" Rias explains.
"Oh, that's explain why your recording this." Akeno said as she smiles at Rias's excitement. "I'm surprised that Benki looked that ugly."
"He was known for his undying loyalty, not his looks." Rias explain further. "Now hush, the fight still continues!" Both Ushiwaka and Benki jump from each other as they ready their weapons. Both raise their weapons, calming themselves as they poise their weapons, neither side is moving a single inch. Rias is at awe on she is seeing right now. She is right now seeing a living portrait of the Battle of Goji Bridge, and she is recording this event live. 'This will be one of my greatest treasure as of yet!' When a single leaf landed on the still river below, it ripple the surface, both fighters rush at each other, screaming their war cries as they slash their weapons, and in a single clash, a spear is flying in the air and landing away from the two fighters, while Ushiwaka's robe was split open, revealing his face. Ushiwaka aims his blade at Benki's throat, Benki just stands there.
"Tell me, why have you attack me?" Ushiwaka asks.
"I was asks to render you incapable to have children." Benki answers honestly.
"Who?" Ushiwaka asks.
"I don't know. This person was wearing heavy robe. I couldn't tell who it was man or woman."
"I see. So tell me, why were you on this bridge in the first place?" Ushiwaka continues to interigate.
"My name is Benki, and the reason to why I stand here is to fight and win one thousand weapons from one thousand warriors. You would of been number one thousand."
"I see." Ushiwaka said as he seaths his sword. "What will you do now?"
"Truefully, I don't know. I have won nine hundred ninty nine battles with only a goal of collecting a thousand weapons. I never thought on what to do with my life after that."
"Then would you like to be my retainer?" Ushiwaka asks.
"What?" Benki said in surprise.
"My dream is to destroy the Heike clan. I would like to put your long-accumulated energy to that end. Will you except?" On those words, Benki went on his knees and bow before Ushiwaka.
"Yes, YES I WILL!" Benki said loudly.
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Issei said as he rubs his chest where Benki near stucked.
"Ah, Karastengu! I see that your alright." Ushiwaka said with some delight as Benki stands.
"Well, it take more then that to take me down. So, what will you do now?" Issei asks.
"I would continue my dream of destroying the Heike clan. I'm sorry, but I can't think about women right now." Ushiwaka said, Issei tsking at this.
"Man, thats too bad. You would of been a great playboy with the right teachings." Issei confesses.
"Karastengu, a real man must abandon everything to achieve his goal, even staking his life!" Ushiwaka said with a passion. Issei froze on those words, feeling Ushiwaka's unbendable determination. "For you and I to meet is destiny. I want you to be a real man."
"Yes." Issei said as he tries to hold back tears.
"I will never forget you, and to mark this coming of age, I shall name you, Karas Yoshitsume!" Ushiwaka said loudly, while Issei only bows before him.
"Thank you Bish-, I mean Minamoto no Yoshitsune." Issei corrected himself.
"Farewell Karas Yoshitsune." Ushiwaka said as he and Benki make their departure.
"Farewell Minamoto." Issei said to Ushiwaka. "And by the way..."
"Hmm?" Ushiwaka looks back to Issei.
"Make sure to meet the princess at least once. Who knows, maybe you two could have a cute daughter together." Issei said with a smile, Ushiwaka smiles back.
"Maybe. I shall keep it in mind." Ushiwaka said as he leaves. Everyone there is move on this sight, seeing Minamoto no Yoshitsune with his loyal retainer Benki walking side to side, writing their immortal legend. Soon enough, Kurama comes out of hiding and approach Issei.
"So, what have you learn?" Kurama asks.
"That your old man is something." Issei said as he wipe the tears from his eyes. "Its been a while since I have been moved like that."
"And what will you do?" Kurama still asking.
"Like him, I shall make myself a goal in life, that I will place my very life on!" Issei said passionly. Kurama looks at him in surprise, seeing him change almost drastically.
"That is good to hear, and thank you for trying to persue Papa to see Mama at least once." Kurama said with a small blush on her face.
"No problem. It'll be a terrible shame if a babe like you disappear because of her father's actions."
"Right, now lets return home."
The scene changes back to Rias's mansion, Issei wearing robes, holding a large ink brush with a pot of ink nearby, with a large sheet of parchment lays before him. Everyone is there, wondering on what he is planning. "What is Issei doing?" Oyuki asks outloudly.
"It looks like he is going to write something." Yuuto said as he oberves. Everyone is silent right now, and in a sudden burst, Issei begins to work. He roars loudly as he dips his brush into the pot and begins writing. Issei begins writng in Kanji, each stroke with purpose, each charcter correct, and when he finish, Issei only look at his work with a smile, while everyone else can one sweat at it as it read:
See 1000 pairs of Breast from 1000 Gorgeous Women
"Darling haven't change at all essentially." Lum said as she look at Issei's determined face.
"That idiot! What has he even learn anything from Papa!" Kurama said furiously.
"He only learn is to put everything on the line on a huge goal." Akeno said as she titters at Issei's latest act.
"Once a pervert, always a pervert." Koneko said plainly.
"Oh Issei." Asia sighs at this.
"By the way, Oni? Did you have anything to do with making Benki fight against Papa, making him incapable of children?" Kurama asks as she stares at Lum.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lum denies. "If something did happen to your father that may rid of your excistance, then it just plain coincidence."
"Liar!" Kurama counters, and while this was happening, Rias is at her family mansion in hell, setting up her two latest treasures.
"The signiture of Minamoto no Yoshitsune, and the recorded event of the Battle of Goji Bridge. These two item are the greatest things I have ever collected!" Rias said in glee as she is surrounded with Japanese scrolls, armor, anime figurines, and movie collection. "I wonder what I add now?" Rias asks as the scene fades.
Issei nears Rias, but soon replace by Lum, making him trip. Title apears.
Those Obnoxious Demons
Commercial Begins
In a hidden military base, the large super computer is beeping loudly, as it detected a unusual tear in space and time, as if a space bridge was use and just outside Earth's atmosphere, two ships of alien origin are battling one another. One ship appear to be a simple transportation ship ment to carry precious cargo, while it other is just a warship, built to attack and destroy any that get in its way. The warship fire at the opposing ship, the hull spilling out small pods. The transportationship crashes into the war ship, destroying its engine. Now both ship are falling towards earth, burning in the atmosphere, crashing somewhere in Africa. Far from each other, the occupants send off small probes to scan the local lifeforms. The probe from the warship scanned fossialized remains of primordial beasts and anthropods. The probe from the transportation ship scans local mammals. Both occupants of those ship begin to change form, matching the lifeforms they have scanned, and both sides growl as they prepare for battle.
[Beast Wars intro theme]
Both Autobots and Decepticons arrive at the site, investigating the anomaly, but both side are surprise on what they see. Both sites bare ships of cybertronian origin, but far more advance, and more surprising is that in between them are creatures fighting among themselves with cybertronain signitures. One side consists of native mammals, while the other was made of dinosaurs and large anthropods. When the two side charge one another, they scream a battle cry.
"Maximals, Maximize!" A siverback gorrila screams.
"Predacons, Terrorize!" A Tyranosaurus rex roars.
And what surprise both sides even more is that they are transforming!
Transformers Prime: Beast Wars
The Autobots meet the Maximals as they explain their purpose, while the Predacons swore loyalty to Megatron. The fight contines as more beastial cybertronians appear all over the world, choosing sides by their actions. We now see Optimus Prime fighting against Megatron as the Maximals and Predacons forces clash with one another. A loud unearthly roar is heard in the sky as they look up. The battle field is cover with a siloette of a large, winged creature, as its body glow as it prepares to rain fire on its enemy. The creature fires, then the titles reappears.
Transformers Prime: Beast Wars
Commerical ends
Issei running towards a topless Lum, but gets punch by Koneko as the title appears.
Those Obnoxious Demons
Chapter 09B: The Great Spring War in Summer?
We now see Issei finishing another day of training, sweating and breathing hard, along with the others from the Occult Research Club. "Well... that ends another... day of... training..." Rias said as she breathes heavily, exhausted from her own training.
"You're right... Rias..." Akeno said to her master. "Today... went... smoothly..." And she is right. Today there was no cameos, no strange adventure of the day, no anything out of the ordinary, relatively speaking. Yuuto was breathing hard along with Koneko as they fought each other, training to enchance their reflexes and timing. Akeno and Asia have been training to have better control of their magic reserves, being the only members with magical abilities, besides Rias. The demon princess was training her demonic abilities when she wasn't training and/or encouranging Issei. And of course, Issei's gruesome physical and mental training from everyone from Rias's exercises with large boulders strapped to his back with heavier when melting ice bracelets around his wrists and ankles, combine with heavy mental training involving complex mathmatics, scientific lectures and liturature that are written in alien or dead languages.
'Smoothly for who?' Issei mentaliy asks himself as he strains to get up. As the others are relaxing, Issei is struggling to walk to his room, now located upstairs since Oyuki is using his old room as a gateway to Neptune. 'I'm the one who's bones are going to give in.' Issei is walking upstairs, continuing his mental ranting. 'At this rate, I'll go bald from all this training.' Soon a mental image of a certain average looking Hero for Fun with a cencor bar over his eyes. He then reaches his room and sighs with relief as he opens the door. 'At least, this day is over.' Issei thought, but that change when he saw Lum inside his room, not wearing her usual tiger skined bikini and boots. Instead, she is wearing a battle helmet with ox horns pointed up, with shoulder pads attached with a white cape, armored arm greaves and boots, with armored bikini top and skirt.
"Ah, Darling, you arrive just in time." Lum said with a smile, while Issei looks confused at the armored clad oni.
"Time for what?" Issei asks.
"Why for the sukiyaka party of course." Lum said as she grab Issei towards a open window.
"Wait? Sukiyaki? Isn't that too late for it? Its summer." Issei said as he thinks of him sweating in the summer hot nights while eating boiling stew of meat and vegetables.
"Not on my home planet. Its Spring now, and everyone will be there-icha." Lum said with happiness.
"Everyone?"
"Ahuh, devil free of course." With those words, Lum's spaceship appears above the mansion, blinding Issei, and everyone else inside, catching their attention. Soon enough, sounds of running approaches Issei's room and bursting in are the rest of the Occult Research Club, wondering what is happening.
"Lum, what are you doing?" Rias screams as she and everyone cover their eyes from the light. Lum growls at them and takes a small button out of her armored bra and spoke to them.
"Me and Darling are going to a Sukiyaki party and you aren't invited-icha!" Lum said as she press the button, and soon enough, Lum's spaceship's tractor beam is activated, pulling in Lum and Issei in.
"Like hell you are!" Ria screams as she brings out her wings. "You're not upducting Issei in the middle of our training regeime!" She then flew up and fly into the tractor beam. It didn't take much for everyone else to do the same.
"Lum! Wait! Don't take Issei!" Asia screams as she jumps into the beam without thought.
"Rias-sama, wait up." Yuuto said as he flys up.
"Ara ara, Rias, your acting as the jealous childhood friend again." Akeno titters as she follows.
"Sukiyaki." Koneko said with a hint of drool dripping from a cornor of her mouth. Soon as everyone is inside, Lum's ship starts to glow and in a flash of light, it went to warp speed, traveling towards Lum's homeworld. And inside, Lum is staring angerly at the new unwanted guest.
"HEY, NO UNINVITED GUESTS-ICHA!" Lum screams at the Occult Research Club. "DARLING AND I ARE GOING TO MY PLANET'S SETSUBUN FESTIVAL AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED-ICHA!"
"Then why did you take Issei?" Rias asks. "And what do you mean your world's Setsuben festival?"
"The Setsuben Festival is a changing of the season festival when winter becomes spring. In traditional sense, the people will throw beans at the Oni, casting them away. I guess the people of the Oni planet have their own version." The fish creature explains from a corner of the screen then is disappear just as quickly as it appeared.
"Isn't it summer right now?" Rias continuing her question.
"On Earth yes, but not on my home world." Lum said as she went to the command center. "And we Oni never run away from the fight! We fight fiercely-cha."
"You make it sound like we're going to war Lady Lum." Yuuto saying his thought.
"We are." Everyone's face turn stiff at Lum's remark. "Participation is mandatory for everyone. If you devils want to leave with your tails between your legs, I understand." Lum said with a smile when she directed it towards Rias and Akeno, but it didn't deter them.
"Like hell we are. We may not look like it, but we devils never back down from a challenge." Rias counters, earning a growl from Lum.
"Fine, don't haunt me if you get blown up." Lum said to the devils of the group. While the devil show no fear of this up coming battle, the two humans are. Issei is giving some cold sweats as Lum have dragged him into a war, while Asia is visibly shaking in nervousness. She continue this until Issei place his hand on her shoulder, calming her.
"Don't worry Asia, I'm here." Issei said with a warm voice, making Asia face flush red. Soon the ship exits warp speed and right afront of it is the Oni homeworld.
On the surface, two armies are readying themselves. On one side is the Oni army, armed with a mix of the latest armor and traditional garb that Oni are known to wear, beside their tiger skinned clothing. On the other are humanoid in appearance, dressed as Nippon's Gods of Old, well loosely dressed as them anyway with many of them looking more like thugs and gangsters then the Gods of Heaven. And in the Oni side, is Mr. Invader, wondering where is Lum. "They're late." Lord Invader said impatiently as he sits on a large boulder, looking over the opposing side. "Everyone is ready to fight, but where is Lum?" The other side is having the same situation too.
"I've been waiting so long, my head is growing!" A old man with a large forehead and large ears.
"What taking so long?! Are you trying to make us look like fools?!" A man looking like Budda, but with a large scar on his stomach, large eyebrows and moustache, catching a spikeball chain in his hand said gruffly.
"Its going to be fun, come on already!" A man with a scar across his face, wearing ceramonial armor, comeing his pomador and then start twirling num-chucks in both hands. Hearing what the otherside is saying, Lord Invader lost his patience and starts screaming at his opponents.
"SHUT UP! STOP ACTING TOUGH, YOU WIMPY POOR EXCUSES OF GODS!"
"Did I hear that right?" The leader said. He haves a eye patch over his right eye with a cigar in his mouth, a spike club on one hand and a large bag of something in the other. "They're trying to pick a fight!"
"My whip is always ready!" Another God said, carrying a fish under his left arm and carrying a whip in the right. Wasn't long that Lum ship appear above the two armies, easing the tension between the two armies.
"I'm here Daddy! Sorry that I'm late!" Lum said through the ship's speakers. Lord Invader smiles at his daughter's arrival.
"Greetings can wait Lum. Hurry up!" Lord Invader said.
"Alright Daddy, but do expect extra guests." Lum grumbles at the last part, earning a confused look from Oni ruler. Some time later, we see the armies again with now a demonic scale inbetween them, the two side ready for eachother. The camera focuses on the Oni side, sweeping across the army, revealing, Issei wearing Oni armor, Asia and Akeno wearing Miko Shrine Priestess outfits, Rias wearing Oni armor and one piece clothing, though it does nothing to hide her figure, Yuuto wearing armor, carrying a bladed spear, and Koneko wearing a two piece tiger skined bikini with her barette cat now with devil horns, carrying a large metal club. While most of the Occult Research Club are somewhat looking forward to the battle, the two humans are little more then just confused.
"Are you sure this is a Setsuben Festival Issei?" Asia asks.
"Not one I know of. Its more like a battle then a festival." Issei said to Asia, then Lord Invader place a hand on his shoulder.
"Its doesn't look like one, it is one." Lord Invader said with a smile, making both Asia and Issei more nervious, while the Devils look a bit confused.
"Why are you fighting then?" Rias asks. This made Lord Invader mad as he stares at the opposing side.
"Those bastards beat us almost every year, always mocking us! They won't win this time!"
'That still doesn't explain why.' Everyone thought. Mr. invader stop glaring at the opposing army and return to Issei.
"This year will be your first battle son-in-law, so I shall back you up as much as I can." Lord Invader said with a smile. "I'm counting on you to be a man."
"Darling, I'm counting on you too-cha." Lum said to Issei, then glares harshly at the new comers. "You better not drag us down!" Rias growls at her while the rest simply sweat at her response.
"So, what exactly the battle pla..."
"CHARGE!" Lord Invader screams a battle cry, interupting Issei's questions about the battle. The Oni forces charge forward, sweeping up The Occult Research club, Issei and Asia into the upcoming battle. As Issei is being sweep into the battle, he hears the Gods calling him out calling him 'Hornless Oni', 'Weak Wimp', and 'Bishonen' which somewhat irks him. When the Oni army stops, Issei falls down, and soon, lands into, strangly enough, red balls. Issei gets up and see the two sides rubber balls into one side of the demon scale, the Oni side, red, and the Gods, white. The two opposing armies are battling it out with a game of Fill the Basket.
"What the hell?" Issei said as he sees this. On the two sides of the scale are Lum on the Oni side, screaming commands and encouragement to the Onis, while the Gods side are being encourage by another beauty.
"Come on! We're losing!" The person that is yelling at the Gods is a young maiden with black long hair tied into a bun, light skin green eyes and a deliquent look to her because she is not only wearing a chain around her torso, that she is wearing a armored Red Bikini with a open front, showing all her cleavage, with her bottom is no different then a pair of panties, with the behind hugging her bottom. Despite looking like a female version of one of the member of the Gods of Luck, she caught Issei's attention, especially how she showing her breasts.
'Who's that goddess?' Issei thought as he sees her, smiling his perverse grin.
"Oh, I see you notice Benten." Lord Invader said as he notices where Issei is looking.
"Benten?" Issei said, stopping his signature grin.
"Yes, she is the leader of the Gods of Luck Gang."
'Gods of Luck Gang? Words I didn't expect to hear.' Issei thought as he looks her Benten. 'But then again, I didn't expect a goddess to dress like that.' Issei thought, returning grinning again.
"RRRRROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!"
"Huh?" Issei said as he suddenly hears a roar behind him. He turns around and sees Rei in beast form, towering over him. "Oh crap!" Issei screams as he readys his Boosted Gear, but...
"Don't even think about it!" Rias screams loudly as he throws in a red ball into the basket. "You are still in training, and you're not allowed to use Boosted Gear until further notice!"
"What?!" Issei said in disbelief. "I'm going to get mauled and I can't defend myself?!"
"I said you can't use it, not defend yourself." Rias said as she grabs another ball. Issei looks at the growling Tiger Bull and starts to sweat at him. So the logical thing to do when facing a enraged shape shifting Tiger bull, he ran away as quickly as he could. The ORC sees this have their own reaction. Rias smiles on the outside, seeing Issei running, adding more training, but inward, she is completly nervous, worrying if she is pushing him too hard. Akeno only titters seeing Issei running in a panic, knowing what Rias is really thinking. Yuuto only sweats at this, seeing that Rias is not giving Issei any break. Koneko only huffs at this, seeing Issei is getting what he deverves for his lustful nature. Asia is obviously full of worry seeing Issei being chased by Rei again. Issei is running to and fro, trying avoid Rei's jaw, to a point that he was on the God's side of the scale, many of them already complaining that the Oni side is cheating. Not even paying attention to what they are saying, Issei is scaling up the scale, with Rei not far behind. As he reaches the top, he ran to the left side, seeing Rei coming close to him, but stop before Rei himself started crossing the God's side of the scale. Rei growls as he strinks back to his normal form. Issei breathes a sigh of relief seeing that he is not being chased.
"Hey, what are you doing on this side?!" Issei turns around and sees Benten looking at him irked.
"Sorry, but he is the reason why." Issei explains, pointing at the prowling Rei, constantly shifting between his Oni and beast form.
"Wow, I haven't seen Rei this angry before." Benten said with some amazement on how Rei is reacting. "What you did to him?"
"Nothing much." Issei answers honestly. "Lum just likes me alot." That catches Benten's attention.
"Oh! So your Lum's fiance." Benten said with a smile. "Its nice to meet you."
"Same here." 'I guess.' Issei thought on the last part.
"Lum told me about you."
"Really about what?" Issei asks.
"Oh that despite you having great heart and confiction, your a cronic skirt chaser and will drool over any woman with a nice pair of breasts." Benten said bluntly, Issei sighing over this.
'I guess Lum told her about me.' Issei mentialy said. "So how you know Lum?" Issei asks, and Benten smile.
"Easy, I'm one of her long old friends." Benten said with a smirk on her face.
"Really?" Issei said some surprise. "I never thought that the two of you are friends."
"What made you think otherwise?" Benten asks. Issei pointed at the two opposing sides doing whatever it takes to defeat them, from using their specialized weapons to their unique abilities. Benten only scoff at this. "Our clans are always like this during every Setsuben Festival. We always get competative." As the two continue their conversation, some of the girls are noticing Issei's conversation with Benten.
"Can't Issei go one day without flirting?" Rias whispers with hints of jealously.
"Ara ara, Issei is being himself again." Akeno titters at this. "And Rias can't help herself."
"Leacher." Koneko said with a straight face. And Asia is only puffing her cheeks as she gribs her ball, not noticing how the Oni around her are quietly questioning on how she's a oni. With Lum...
"Argh! Darling Sickness is acting up again!" Lum is furious seeing Issei 'flirting' with Benten. "DARLING!"
"Really? You, and Lum sent one of your teachers in space?" Issei asks in disbelief, with a grin in his face.
"Yep, along with Oyuki and one another, we sent our robotic eraser shaped teacher into space." Benten said with a laugh.
"I still can't believe you guys did that." Issei said with a amused smirk.
"Like your one to talk." Benten said back. "When was the last time you and your buddies were caught peeking in the Women's changing room?" Issei blush at that and look away as he answers.
"Not for a while." Issei said quietly, making Benten laugh.
"Ahahahaha! Man, you're hilarious! I can see why Lum likes you. Your honest about almost everything, even when going after another skirt." Issei laugh sheepishly when Benten said that. "So, then in all honesty, is it true that you have some power armor or something?" Benten asks.
"Power Armor? You mean Boosted Gear?" Issei asks as he raise his left hand.
"Thats the one. So is it?" Benten asks more curiously.
"Well, yes for the most part. Boosted Gear is something I was born with, and it something that I just got when I meet Lum. I don't understand most of it, but it mainly does is double my power every ten seconds or so." Issei said as he looks at his hand.
"Man that sound awesome." Benten said as as she leans on the large basket, showing Issei her cleavage. As he smiles and blush, he then feels that the basket is rising.
"Huh?" Issei said as he feels and hears a thump on the scale. On the otherside past the snarling Tiger Bull is Lum, jumping up and down on the otherside of the scale, venting frustration and wanting to inflict pain to our young hero. "What is she doing?" Issei asks in wonder as Benten growls at Lum's action.
"HEY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S CHEATING!" Benten screams at the otherside.
"LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE TO TALK!" Lum screams back. "YOU'RE TRYING TO STEAL DARLING AWAY FROM ME-ICHA!" Issei sighs at this and picks up one of the balls in the basket.
"I still can't believe that this world's Setsuben Festival is being treated like a war. I get the Oni side, but the Gods of Luck?" Issei asks loudly as he toss the ball into the air. When it touch the pointed spike, hovering over the basket, it exploded like a bomb, pushing the basket back to a balanced position, along with a soot covered Issei. "What the hell just happen?!"
"Hey! Don't do that!" Benten screams at Issei. "You'll end the war too quickly!"
"End it how?" Issei said, coughing out ash from his mouth.
"You'll set off the bombs." Benten said as she points at the balls in the basket.
"Why are their bombs in this Setsuben Festival? Who's idea was it in the first place?" Issei asks in disbelief.
"It be just boring if we use regular balls." Benten said with a shrug. Issei simply blink at this and just stare at her. When the thumping returns, Issei sees that Lum is trying to set the bombs again, seeing Issei and Benten together.
"Oh come on, Lum!" Issei is running towards the otherside of the scale, trying to stop Lum's action.
"Darling?" Lum stops her stomping, and see Issei running towards her. Her face lit up with a bright smile as she open her arms, waiting for him to embrace her. "Darling, you are faithful-icha!" She then starts towards Issei, her eyes sparking with joy. "Darling, lets get blown up together, and we will live in the afterlife together, forever!" Luckly for Lum, Issei didn't hear that, but the ORC did.
'OH SWEET SATAN, SHE A LOW KEY YANDERE!' Rias mentialy screams with her face matching it.
'Ufufufu, oh Issei, if you wanted pain, you should of asked me.' Akeno titters as she continues to throw balls into the basket on the oni side.
"Oh Issei, I hope you live through this." Yuuto said as he stops throwing balls into the basket.
"Reap what sow." Koneko said as she stops throwing balls too.
"No, Issei!" Asia said with worry, after hearing what Lum said. "Lovers Suicide is not the path towards the Lord's embrace Lum, no matter how romantic!"
As the two run towards the center, Rei jumps inbetween the two, launching Issei to the otherside while Lum tumbles forward. Issei screams as he lands in the basket, surprised that the bombs didn't go off.
"REI! STOP INTERFERING WITH ME AND DARLING-ICHA!" Lum screams at Rei, who only just smile at her with his beastial mouth and stands on his hinde legs, ready to grab her.
"LUM!" Rei only ignore what Lum said and only to try to embrace her once more, only for her to fly around, avoiding his hugs.
"No, Rei! Get away!" Lum shouts in fright as she zigzags around Rei, trying to reach Issei, but thanks to Rei's huge form, he is blocking Lum in everyway. While this was happening, Benten was seeing the spectacle and have a sudden idea.
"I see that you can't decide Lum." Benten said with a smirk, catching Lum attention.
"What... are... you... talking... about?!" Lum asks loudly as she continues to dodge Rei.
"I mean what I said. You can't decide who you should hook up. Rei, you first crush, or Issei, your 'current' fling." Benten said with a smirk. Lum stop at her tracks when she hear that, ignoring Rei.
"What?" Lum said in a serious tone. Benten smirk grew wider.
"You heard me. You can't decide if you should stick with Rei or Issei." Benten said, with Issei's name with more sensual tone.
"DON'T SAY DARLING'S NAME LIKE THAT-ICHA!" Lum screams loudly.
"Why not? It seems that you don't mind a open relationship, with Issei's little mistress being here." Benten said as she points out Asia from below. Lum growls at Benten's proclamation.
"SHE IS NOT DARLING'S MISTRESS! SHE JUST A LITTLE GIRL WHO JUST AWE STRUCK BY DARLING'S HEROICS!"
"Oh, really? Then why is she here, along with a small handfull of women, two of them with bodies that surpass yours?" Benten continue. Lum looks at the females of the ORC. While she just see Asia and Koneko as they are, just young children, but when she look at Rias and Akeno, she is immediately irked at them. Their large childbearing hips, their large buttoxs, their thin legs, and their... their... Lum can't even think about them as they easily outclass her in size. See them remind her the times they are close to Issei, how they touch and caress him, how they whisper into his ear, and how Issei smile at every attempt.
"DARLING, YOU CHEAT!" Lum screams in fury as she grabs the Gods's basket and lifts it over her head, aiming at Issei in jealous rage. "YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THOSE SLUTTY BITCHES WHEN YOU HAVE ME THE WHOLE TIME!" Lum throws at Issei in rage, causing the scale to tip, trying to balance itself. As Issei tries to get up, he sees the basket heading towards him and he screams as he scrambles out of the way. He escapes to the otherside, sliding under Rei, making Rei to chase after, thus causing the scale to tip upwards on the oni side. Everyone froze as they see the scale tipping towards the Oni side. When the tip hanging above the baskets touch the bombs inside them, it cause a huge explosion, destroying the scale, and ending Planet Oni's Setsuben Festival, with everyone relatively unharmed.
"Uuuuggh." All but Issei, who is trapped under the rubble of what remains of the scale.
"DARLING/Issei!" Both Lum and Asia rush towards Issei as the leaders of the two armies arrive, discussing on whats to come.
"So, The Gods of Luck Clans wins another year in a row, Mr. Invader." The Eye patched God said with a smirk as Mr. Invader growls.
"Yes, and once again, someone on my side shall be choosen to be this year's Oni." Mr. Invader said, implying something. Everyone that didn't came to Lum stare at Issei, being pampured by a worrying Asia and a regretful Lum.
Back on Earth...
"So you know where Issei is right now?" Mrs. Hyoudou asks to Cherry.
"Yes, I do." Cherry comfirms. While both Issei's parents areaware that Issei is on a trip with the ORC, they are curious and worriedsome on what. In their minds, its a normal trip to the moutains, but with Issei's lustful nature, he is turning it into something that can be found in porn. "But I asks something in return." Cherry said loudly, snapping Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou's imagination.
"Like what?" Mr. Hyoudou asks, but got the feeling he and his wife knows what. Soon enough, Cherry is devouring a large pot of sukiyaki all by himself, while Mr. and Mrs. Hyoudou simply have chilled noodles with sause for themselves. Quickly as Cherry started, he quickly finish the whole pot, burping a sound of fullness.
"Alright, let start." Cherry faces the family hanging rug and claps his hands together, chanting words of holyness and mysticalism. The surface of the rug ripples and disorts, appearing as living flames. Both Hyoudous look at the image with worry as Cherry only groans. "Something powerful is blocking the image. I can't give a clear picture, but I give one that gives a you a general look." Soon enough, true to Cherry's word's, a image of Issei and everyone else in the ORC, appear on the rug, but what scares them is Issei appearing as a Oni, tied to a post, with beans being thrown at him.
"Bad Luck, Bad Luck, Out, Out, Out!" The Onis chant as they throw beans at him.
"Good Luck, Good luck, In, In, In!" The Gods of Luck chanted, thowing beans at him now. As the Hyoudou family watch this, they are also seeing, Members of the ORC joining in as they throw beans at them, dressed as Oni, with Lum and Asia tearing up in the background, with a female God of Luck in the back, whispering apoligies to Issei. Cherry sees the whole thing and speaks out loud on what he thinks.
"Oh, that cursed boy. He is suffering the fires of hell for his misdeeds." He clasps his hand together once more, praying to Buddha for Issei. And in the rug, Issei is screaming for this ritual 'Purging the Oni' to stop.
AUTHOR NOTE: Man, that took forever. People calling in sick, the holiday rushes, and the blocks, OH GOD... the blocks...
Sorry for venting, but I hope this story is worth the wait and for the next chapter is going to need a little hand in who to appear. In the comment section, pick on which pinkette should appear. The cannon youth sucking bipolar cutie, or the appearance of a sexy yet innocent devilish alien princess? Please help me decide. Oh, and for those who want to do the commercial challenge, check it out in my Story Well.