For a moment all Jaden could do was stand there, astonished at what Snape had done.
"I made a grave mistake, Miss Newman. One that I should have been able to see past but was not. I implore you to allow me to clarify." Jaden said nothing, still feeling his hand on her seething skin. "I was under the impression that Mr. Farren was being mistreated by his peers and attempted to explain to him that one needs to stand up for themselves in such circumstances. Unfortunately he seemed to take it as me giving him permission, I suppose, to hurt said peers…"
She turned to look at him then but did not move.
"At first I was glad when I found him and another student 'working matters out' so to speak. I did not realize that it was entirely one sided." He looked up at her, eyes beseeching. She narrowed her eyes, the reality of his words beginning to seep in.
"When I heard you scream that night and found you two…" he sighed and rubbed his neck. "Everyday I wanted to turn myself in, apologize for what had happened. Seeing you in such pain and knowing that it was partially my doing…"
She heard him but did not want to. To accept what he was saying would be to defy all reason she'd just felt as she hurled her fists at him in anger not minutes ago. But somehow she knew it was the truth. No Hogwarts teacher would do what she'd accidentally accused him of. Yes, he'd made a mistake…but she knew he could not take the blame for what had happened to her. That fault lay with one person alone. Her head swam with the night's revelations, sinking into her like pins and needles. She took a steadying breath but said nothing. Slowly she walked to the table where he sat, looked him in the eye, and picked up her wand.
"I'm so very sorry," Severus couldn't look at her.
Jaden left the classroom without looking back.
"That's mental!" Clint exclaimed once she'd told him what'd happened, leaving out a few details, like how Snape had hit her. "You're kidding."
"It's true. I could tell he wasn't lying."
The two were walking to a class they both shared, Clint wide eyed the whole time.
"He also…apologized," Jaden said, watching for Clint's reaction.
"He what?" Clint stopped in his tracks and Jaden laughed, arriving at their classroom.
"Clint, I accused him of so much…I was really out of line."
"Yeah, but you thought he'd really done those things. Anyone else would have reacted the same way." He smiled, making her feel a little better.
Things had gotten both muddled and yet more illuminated in the last few weeks that she felt as if she were in an alternative reality, another universe. Clint suspected that there was more to her story than she was telling, but did not want to press her. He knew that Bryan had probably hurt her somehow and he was glad to be rid of him. That day when he returned to his dormitory he checked under Bryan's former bed but the box with the letters and poetry was gone. He wasn't sure what he'd have done with them anyway if they'd been there, but felt it was the right thing to make sure. He sat in his room for a while thinking about what Bryan had put him and countless others through. Anger built up inside him to his surprise when he tried to imagine what Bryan could have done to Jaden, and he instantly regretted it. He knew suddenly, wondering why he hadn't seen it before. He'd seen Bryan try to kiss her a few times but he hadn't expected he would try something like that. But he knew now, and he had to figure out how best to help her, if that's what she needed.
When Jaden arrived at potions next she didn't know how she was supposed to feel. She couldn't help the embarrassment and regret but also remembered the anger that captured her so completely that night in detention. Snape didn't look at her, greatly to her relief, and they got through the class period in one piece. She expected, as the other students filed out, that he would ask to speak with her, but did not. Summoning what little courage she felt she had, she approached him, the classroom now empty. His back was to her, erasing the board with his wand.
"Professor…" she gripped her books tightly to her, feeling that they were some sort of anchor. "I'd like to apologize for the other night…I was outspoken and I should have listened before reacting the way I did."
Snape didn't turn but put his wand away after a moment, arranging a few pieces of chalk inattentively. She was beginning to think she should just leave when he spoke, slowly and with what seemed like with difficulty though not because he was angry, in fact just the opposite.
"You had every right…to react the way you did."
She stood there, unaware of what to do next.
"If anyone should be blamed for their reaction, it's me." He turned to her, folding his arms and leaning against his desk. "I didn't…hit you too hard I hope?" He looked nervous, like a time bomb was waiting to go off.
"No, no I'm fine…I just…" She couldn't shake what she'd been wanting to say to him for a long time.
"Just…?" He prompted.
"Just…Thanks. I know now that you really did care…and it meant a lot to me that time in detention. Just talking alone helped a lot."
"It was the very least I could do." He paused, feeling a little better. "And how are you now?" She wasn't entirely sure.
"I'm…I think I'm better."
"It will take a while for you to heal, and it won't be easy."
"I know."
He took a step towards her but then thought better of it. She just looked too broken, and she was. He remembered when he'd felt that way and had had no one to go to. She needed someone to be there and he wanted it to be him, but wasn't certain if that would be possible after everything that had happened. But she also stepped forward, a question in her eyes, lowering her books slightly. He sighed, feeling far too protective over a mere student, which he still reprimanded himself for. Not being able to simply let her leave without sealing their new understanding properly though, he boldly removed the space between them, drawing Jaden into a comforting hold.
Jaden smiled, setting down her books on his desk and, in turn, wrapping her arms around his torso, face buried in the black, protective folds of his robes. And for once she did not feel the need to cry, which only made her smile more. She was pleased that Severus did not let go for several minutes, pulling away slowly, actually giving her a small smile.
"Don't be late for your next class," he warned, not wanting her to go. He felt immensely pleased with himself, having comforted her somehow even though she knew the truth. He had gained more than he thought he would, realizing that perhaps he could be helpful and kind, even to his students. He watched her go, allowing himself to linger in one of his rare smiles. But soon he heard the first of his next class approaching and composed himself.
"Absurd little Gryffindor," he grinned to himself.
Jaden stayed up that night pondering over the strange way things had worked themselves out. Bryan was out of her life forever, and though it still might hurt, she knew now that she could take it. And she would not be without help. Professor Snape had guided her in his odd way, and she was becoming closer to Clint every day. Her Grandmother seemed to be well and she was always exultant to receive one of Jaden's poems, which were beginning to see more and more hopeful words, lines slowly becoming livelier. But mostly, Jaden felt a sort of peace inside, an uncommon understanding that now she could simply be. She smiled to herself as she welcomed the new person she had become, it frightening her no longer. She was now strong, someone who had people who cared for her, unbound, confident….
Untouchable.
A/N: A big hug to all my readers. I really hope you liked it. I wanted to add on a couple more chapters before the end but I'm leaving for a trip in a few days and wouldn't have been able to upload for several weeks. So I hope it didn't feel too rushed. Reviews (positive or negative) greatly appreciated as always.
