Playing House

(Chapter Ten: Happy)

"That was….," Olivia paused for a moment wrapping the sheet tightly around her nude body as she climbed from the bed.

"Incredible?" Elliot boasted with a smile.

"Inappropriate," she answered staring at the floor as she made her way to the closet to grab some clothes.

"What?" Elliot mumbled realizing regret had set in.

They had spent all of the day before curled up in bed together, just holding each other. Kissing and touching and talking. They had made a dozen confessions to each other between those sheets, like it was their own little piece of heaven. Elliot held her so tight as he stared into her eyes and told her how blessed he was to have her in his life. He kissed her tenderly and they made love again, just before she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

It was all like a dream. A wonderful dream that ended all too soon when the alarm clock went off this morning. And brought them back to the real world. A world full of rules and guidelines, pressures and complications. Not to mention the five blue eyed children and the judge who were all counting on the two of them to make this work. Elliot couldn't blame her for being scared, there was so much at stake. But it didn't really seem like they could just walk away from this….whatever it was between them after the events of the last couple of days.

"Liv," Elliot said softly as she walked out of the closet fastening the belt on her black slacks.

"Elliot, you'd better get moving or we're going to be late."

"Cragen can wait."

"Not Cragen El," she said raising her eyes to meet his for the first time all morning. "We are supposed to be in court today. That social worker is supposed to give him her report on the house and the life we have made here for the kids. It really isn't going to look good if we are late."

Elliot stared at her for a moment as if pleading for her to say something about last night.

"I'll be ready in a minute."

Olivia nodded and headed to the kitchen. Elliot dressed quickly and walked into the kitchen as well.

She stood at the counter making breakfast for her husband. "Black, just the way you like it," she said handing him a travel mug.

"We should talk."

"We don't have time," she said grabbing the car keys from the table by the door as they walked toward the elevator.

"We can make time, this is important."

"Elliot, this really isn't a good time. We need to concentrate," she stared at him for a moment and blinked her dark eyes.

"Daddy," Elizabeth called as she rushed down the steps of the courthouse to hug her father.

"Hey guys," Elliot replied handing out hugs and kisses to all of the children.

"We missed you dad," Dickie said.

"We missed you too Liv," Maureen said with a smile.

"It's good to see you guys," Olivia said taking Eli from Kathleen as he reached for her.

"I missed you all so much," Elliot said kissing his youngest son.

"Can we go home with you guys today?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, honey, we have to go in here and see what this judge says," he said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am sure we will have you guys home really soon."

"Good. I miss living with you."

"You don't like aunt Kate's house?"

"It's okay. But we wanna live with you and Olivia."

"Well," Olivia said standing and extending her hand to Elizabeth, "lets go inside and see what the judge says."

Elizabeth smiled and slipped her hand into Olivia's as they continued up the steps and into the building.

After court Elliot and Olivia sat with the children in an Italian restaurant for lunch. It was good to share a little family time again, but Elliot still worried about what was going on behind Olivia's pretty brown eyes. All he wanted was to love her, but what if he had actually managed to push her further away?

"Can we go home with you guys today?" Elizabeth asked taking a sip of her soda.

"Well sweetheart, the judge said that you have to finish out the school week at your Aunt Kate's. But this weekend we can get you guys all settled in."

"We get to move in this weekend?" Dickie asked.

"You sure do buddy," Elliot assured him. "You will still spend every other weekend with your aunt Kate and uncle Jim and have dinner with them on Tuesday nights."

"Do we have to?" Kathleen asked staring at her father.

"You do for now. Those were the terms the judge gave us."

"If that is what it takes to bring the family back together Kathleen, it isn't that bad," Maureen insisted.

"Yeah, it would be worth dealing with them a couple of days a month if we get to move back in with dad," Dickie agreed.

"A few more days guys," Elliot said kissing Eli. "A few more days and we will all be together again. We can go this. In a few more months this judge will be off our backs for good and we won't have to worry about anyone ever keeping us apart again."

He looked around the table at the looks on the faces of his wife and children and could not imagine his life with out them.

"How is school?" he said clearing his throat and trying not to get emotional.

"Good," Elizabeth said.

"What are your favorite subjects in school?" Olivia asked.

"English," Elizabeth replied with a smile.

"Science," Dickie said.

"I really liked Science, too. What about you Kathleen?"

Kathleen just stared at her plate and stirred around her food.

"School is school. It sucks."

"Kathleen," Elliot said as she raised her eyes to look at him and then back to Olivia.

"My Art class is kind of cool, I guess."

"Your principal said that your grades are really improving and you have not missed any school at all in the last few weeks."

"Now you're checking up on me?"

"I'm your father, it's my job."

"Anything else you'd like to know?" she asked.

"No. But there is something I'd like you to know."

"What's that?" Kathleen asked just knowing she was about to get a stern talk about her attitude.

"I'm proud of you."

Kathleen raised her eyes to meet her father's as a smile slowly spread across her face.

"Thanks, dad."

At home that evening Olivia didn't say much. She soaked in a long hot bath and pretty much avoided even being in the same room as Elliot.

When Elliot came into the bedroom, Olivia was already in bed. Elliot climbed in beside her and rolled over to see her turned away from him.

"Liv? Are you asleep already?" he asked softly knowing she was avoiding this conversation.

"Hmm?" she moaned softly.

"I was kind of hoping we could talk."

"El," she said softly rolling to look at him over her shoulder, "I'm really tired."

"I know it's been a long day, but I think it is important we talk about this. You can't keep avoiding me when we sleep in the same bed every night."

"I'm not…" Olivia paused as her eyes met his.

"Talk to me. You are my best friend and that is more important than anything. If there is something wrong….if something is bothering you….I want us to work it out."

Olivia rolled over to face him, but didn't say anything.

"You regret it?" he asked.

"It should have never happened," she said softly.

"Liv, please don't do this. Don't push me away and shut me out."

"It was…."

"Amazing," Elliot said cutting her off.

"Irresponsible," she corrected him. "We are here for the kids. We are doing this for the kids. We can't get distracted with hot sex, Elliot. We have to focus on what is best for the kids."

Elliot smiled.

"So, you agree the sex was good?"

"El," Olivia whined fighting off his attempt to make her crack a smile.

"I know. And you are right. Maybe the timing wasn't the best, but we talked about this before it ever happened. We discussed this and decided this was what we both wanted."

"Yes."

"We can't undo the things we have done and we can't unsay the things we said."

"I don't regret it, Elliot. I just don't think that this is the right time for any of this."

"I told you I loved you. You said it back, Olivia. I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it."

"I meant every word that I said. Every moment of that night was real. Of course I care for you, Elliot, you are my best friend. You and these kids….you guys are my family. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for any of you. I don't regret it. I just think that maybe we got emotional because of the circumstances, we got emotional and we got carried away. We gave in to the temptation we have been fighting for years and the sex was amazing, but this isn't about us. Elliot, this marriage….this relationship….this is about doing whatever it takes to keep this family together."

"I completely agree."

"You do?"

"Of course."

"Then you will understand when I tell you that no matter how incredible the sex was, it cannot happen again."

Elliot just stared at her for a moment then laid back on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

"I just thought maybe we could give this a real shot," he mumbled.

"Maybe in another time and place, but we have too much riding on this relationship to take a risk like this."

"A risk?"

"Elliot, what if we went for it? What if we tried this….whatever it is out and it went bad? What if it ruined us? What you and I have always had would be nothing more than….than…." she paused for a moment. "How awkward would it be living together and trying to uphold this image we have worked so hard to create? One mistake, Elliot. One mistake is all it would take and that judge would take your kids away forever. That is just too much pressure for a fledgling relationship. Please tell me you understand this."

"I understand."

Olivia stared at him as she pressed her lips together nervously.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I knew I didn't want this and I let it happen anyway. I was out of line. I lost my focus and I'm sorry. We can't mess this up."

"Are we okay?" Elliot asked.

Olivia smiled a soft smile as she settled into her pillow.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Good," he replied. "I could never forgive myself if anything ever damaged our relationship."

"We're okay, El. I'm just really tired."

"Get some sleep, sweetheart."

Olivia rolled over to face the wall as she tried to go to sleep. All of a sudden, sleep wasn't coming as easily as it usually did. This was going to be a long night.

The rest of the week passed quickly and before they knew it Elliot and Olivia were helping the children get settled into their new rooms.

"What do you guys think?" Elliot asked the girls as he helped to carry the last of their boxes into the house.

"It's great dad. It's just nice for us all to be under the same roof," Kathleen said.

"Well, sort of," Maureen replied as she sat down the box she was carrying.

"Dad, why does Maureen get the apartment over the garage? I wouldn't mind having a place of my own."

"Maureen is the oldest. And she is giving up living on campus to help us pull this family back together. She is going back to college soon and she is going to need her own quiet space for studying and doing homework."

"It isn't fair dad, Maureen gets everything! Just because she's the oldest!"

"Well, honey, that is just the way things work sometimes. But I'll tell you what, Elizabeth and the boys took the boys prefer the bedrooms upstairs, but you are older. Why don't you choose your room next? Liv and I have the master bedroom. But anything else is up for grabs."

"Really?" Kathleen asked.

"Really."

"You guys already have these set up."

"It is just stuff, Kathleen. Stuff can be moved into another room."

"What about the basement?"

"There are two bedrooms in the basement."

"Can I take one of those and have my own space? Or do I have to share the space with the other kids?"

"I'll make you a deal. If you keep up the grades and stick around the house more often, you can have the bedroom in the basement."

"And the other bedroom?"

"I think we could turn it into a guest room. The other kids can have their pick of the bedrooms upstairs. As long as you show me that you can be mature and responsible enough to handle your own space, I will give you the chance. But if you show me that you can't handle it, then I will move you back upstairs. And you can take the little bedroom next to Olivia and I so that I can keep an eye on you."

"Dad!" Kathleen protested.

Elliot laughed.

"I mean it though. Don't make me regret giving you this chance. We will have rules in this household and they will be followed. By you, by everyone."

"I get it dad. I'm not gonna do anything to land me back at aunt Kate's, trust me."

"Alright. Now go decide which room you want so that we can get your stuff moved and I can get your bed set up."

"Thanks daddy," she said kissing him on the cheek.

"You're welcome, honey."

Elliot watched as an excited Kathleen ran downstairs to look at the bedrooms.

"Did I miss something?" Olivia asked stepping into the kitchen.

"Not really," Elliot said handing her a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "I told her she could have one of the bedrooms in the basement. She was a tad bit jealous of big sister getting the garage apartment. I told her I would give her a chance, but if she screws this up, there will be some rearranging." Elliot watched Olivia's face for a reaction. "You don't think that was a good idea?"

Olivia thought about it for a moment.

"No, I think it is a good idea."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I think it is an excellent way to give her a little responsibility and to show her that we trust her to think like an adult."

"I'm glad you think so, because she is probably going to need a little help decorating downstairs and there is no way she is going to let me do it."

"You want me to help her decorate her room?"

"It could be a good bonding experience."

"True."

"So you'll do it?"

"Of course I will."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now if you will excuse me, I should really get dinner started."

"You're cooking dinner? Wouldn't it be easier to just order some pizza from the place down the block?"

"It would, but I thought it would be nice to have a real family meal on our first night with all of us together in the house."

"Good thinking. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, Dickie and Elizabeth requested tacos. And Elizabeth wants to help me with dinner."

"She's helping you?"

"I figured it would be a good bonding experience," Olivia said with a wink as she walked across the room and called up the staircase for Elizabeth.

"Do you want to help?" Olivia asked Elliot.

"Sorry, I can't. I have to help Kathleen get set up downstairs and I still need to head out to the garage and check on Maureen."

"Elliot, she is almost eighteen years old. Give her a little space."

"She may be nearly eighteen, but she is still my child. I just want to check in with her and see if she needs any help."

"The apartment is hers. It is just like if she had a place off campus or in the dorm. That space is hers and I just think we need to make sure to respect that."

"I will, I promise. I just want her to understand that we are right here if she needs anything. I gave her a key to the house and told her she can come over and do laundry or raid the refrigerator, anything she needs she is welcome to."

"Just….make sure to knock."

"Okay," he agreed as he walked toward the back door.

"And make sure to tell her dinner is at seven," Olivia called before he could close the door.

Elliot caught her eye and smiled. He found it completely adorable that as hard as Olivia tried to be the voice of reason in the situation, she wanted to make sure Maureen was taken care of just as bad as he did.

After dinner Maureen and Elizabeth cleared the table and did the dishes. Elliot brought out some old board games and they all gathered around the table for some family fun. Olivia watched as one by one the kids said their goodnights and headed off to bed.

She headed off to her bathroom and drew a hot bath. She laid back beneath the fluffy cloud of bubbles and closed her eyes as she exhaled. So far, so good, she thought to herself. Just then there was a soft tap on the bathroom door.

"Olivia, is everything alright?" Elliot asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm just taking a bath."

"Can we talk for a minute?"

Olivia shifted a few strategically placed bubbles making sure she was covered.

"Come on in," she said softly.

The door opened slowly and Elliot stepped inside with his hand covering his eyes.

"I'm not looking, I swear."

Olivia laughed.

"It's okay. I'm covered."

Elliot opened his eyes. Olivia had her hair pulled up in a clip with a few strands framing her face. She was leaned back in the bath tub and the bubbles laid just below her amazingly sexy shoulders, covering everything from there down. Her right leg was bent and her knee peeking out from beneath the mountain of soap suds. The other leg was stretched out with her ankle resting against the side of the garden tub revealing tanned skin and painted toenails.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh, umm, I just wanted to see how you felt about tonight. This was the first night…."

"Of the rest of our lives," she said finishing his sentence. "I think it went really well. The kids seem to be happy here."

"And you?"

Olivia just stared at him for a moment.

"Are you happy? The last several months have been all about me and the kids, no one ever asked you what you wanted. What do you want?"

Olivia thought for a moment and smiled.

"I want our kids to be happy and healthy. And I want them to be with their father in a place they can call their home."

"You are always thinking about everyone else."

"I'm a parent now, that is part of my job."

Elliot smiled.

"So we're really okay?"

"I think we're doing pretty good. We have a great house and five beautiful children. A good marriage, to my best friend. Could it get any better?"

"I want you to be happy."

"El, I am happy."

"I don't want you to feel like we're holding you back."

"What? No. I don't feel that way at all. I am here because I want to be here."

"I'm happy to hear that. Just promise me, if you should decide you are unhappy, you will come talk to me."

Olivia smiled.

"You have my word. Now, can you hand me my robe?"

"Sure," Elliot said picking up the white terry cloth bathrobe from the counter and handing it to her. "I'll give you a little privacy," he said walking back into the bedroom allowing her time to dress.

Several minutes later Olivia walked back into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and applied jasmine scented lotion to her arms and legs. She wore a pink tee shirt and a pair of pink plaid pajama shorts.

"Listen to that," Elliot said as Olivia held at attention.

"I don't hear anything," she said.

"Exactly. Silence. That is rare in a house with five children.

"Do you think they are all settled in alright?"

"I'm sure they're fine. We should get some sleep while it is so peaceful. Eli wakes up early."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You know what, I'm gonna grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Do you want anything?"

"I'm good. Thanks," he said settling into the bed.

Olivia walked down the hall and pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She stared out the kitchen window as the darkened apartment over the garage and smiled. Olivia made her way to the basement door and opened it slowly. From the top of the stairs she could see the flicker of the light from the television. She pulled the door closed and turned to head back to her bedroom.

Olivia made it as far as the stairwell before she stopped. She looked down the hall toward the bedroom, then turned her attention to the top of the stairs. She walked slowly up the stairs to check on the other three children.

In Dickie's bedroom a video game was flashing across the screen of the television. He was stretched out across his bed with his head where his feet should be. Olivia took the extra blanket from the chair across the room and covered him up. She reached down and took the game controller out of his hand placing it on the TV stand and turned off the television.

Next was Eli's room. The little boy had fallen asleep in his crib holding his favorite stuffed dog and sucking on his thumb.

"Good night buddy," she whispered running her fingers through his blonde curls as he slept. She watched him for a moment thinking to herself how much he looked like his mother, but he looked a lot like Elliot, too.

Down the hall Elizabeth was sleeping soundly. Olivia pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and tucked her in. She smiled as she turned and headed for the door.

"Good night Liv," she heard a small voice say from behind her.

"Goodnight honey," Olivia replied with a smile as she turned to look at the girl.

Olivia headed back into the hall on her way back to her own bedroom when she heard a voice behind her.

"Going for a bottle of water, huh?"

She turned around to see Elliot standing in the doorway of Eli's room.

"I wanted to make sure they were warm enough."

Elliot smiled.

"You wanted to check on them. You can admit it."

"Okay, so I got caught. What are you doing up here?"

"I heard you talking to Eli on the monitor and thought he was awake. I came up to help you out with him."

Olivia smiled.

"I just want them to feel safe again. To get comfortable and get used to having a real home again. I want them to be able to let their guard down and not have to live in fear of being jerked away from their father again. I want them to be happy."

"So do I," Elliot said. "Let's get some rest, now. I'll make breakfast in the morning."

"Pancakes?"

"By request. Dickie and Kathleen's favorite."

Olivia yawned.

"It has been a long day," Elliot said as they walked down the stairs.

"But a good one," she added.