Right... I might not be able to update after this for a while, school is getting busy again and I'm going out of town this weekend, so i dunno if I'll be able to update unitl Monday night... I'll try though :-)

-Chapter 10-

Kyo

Kyo was running. He didn't know where to, or how long it took to get there, all that mattered was that he got away from the house.

What was he thinking when he told Tohru how he felt? The only answer that presented its self to him was: He hadn't been.

What had he expected anyway? That she wouldn't be horrified or disgusted or anything like that? He shook his head, unaware of the fact that his legs were numbing slightly from all the running or that if he didn't slow down soon he might collapse.

Kyo finally knew where he was going. He needed to go to a place that he could talk (or not talk) without being judged or being afraid of screwing everything up. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

When Kyo got there, the door to Shishou's house was open as usual, so he had no trouble getting inside, but when he leaned over to take off his shoes, he toppled foreward and knocked over a coat rack with a loud bang. He lay there too exhausted to get up and listened to the approaching footsteps. He must have run the whole way to the house if he was this tired.

"Kyo?"

Kyo looked up into the face of his father figure and managed to get out a, "Sorry."

Shishou smiled, but looked a little concerned and said, "No need to apologize for coming to visit me... Do you need some help up?"

Kyo shook his head and stood up. "Fine... I'm fine," he lied.

Shishou nodded and then hinted, "Did you want to talk to me about something?" He undoubtedly knew about what had happened earlier that day and probably thought that was why Kyo was there. Kyo looked away and shrugged. Shsishou nodded, most likey expecting a response like that. "Well, I was just about to make dinner. Do you want to join me?"

Kyo looked at Shishou dully, feeling like it would be too much effort to show any emotion. "You're cooking dinner? Remember what happened last time?"

Shishou laughd and shook his head. "It's actually leftovers from last night, I didn't cook then either, so it's safe." He took Kyo's arm and led him into the dining room. "You sit and I'll bring it in."

Kyo sat down at the table, rested his elbows on it, and put his head in his hands. He didn't deserve dinner, he shouldn't have come and bothered Shishou. He would listen and offer advice like... Well, a parent... Something he also felt he didn't really deserve, at the moment anyway.

Soon the pleasant smell of something Kyo couldn't place wafted into Kyo's senses. It was pretty obvious that Shishou didn't make it himself just from the great smell.

"It's just beef stew," Kyo heard the noise of a bowl being set in front of him, but didn't bother to look up at the sound of Shishou's voice, "I would have gotten together something nicer."

"Nn..." Kyo didn't really care what the food was, he wasn't hungry anyway. They sat in a silence that wasn't exactly awkward, just... Silent. The only sound was of Shishous's spoon occasionally clinking against his bowl.

But he couldn't take it anymore. It was too hard, being left in silence with his own thoughts. "Why am I so stupid?" Kyo said outloud. He looked up and saw Shishou with his spoon paused halfway to his mouth. He put down the spoon and said, "You should probably tell me."

Kyo shook his head and groaned. "I'm not here because of what happened earlier... I told Tohru... How I felt about her." He finished lamely, not knowing how else to say it without feeling so much pain.

"And... How is that bad news?" Shishou looked a little confused now. Kyo had talked about how he felt about Tohru before and he had always been encouraged to tell her.

Kyo closed his eyes and put his face back in his hands. "You didn't see her face," he said, feeling something strange. Oh, hell no. He was not going to cry. There was no freaking way. He didn't cry in front of other people, no matter who it was, and rarely by himself. It made him feel weak. He managed to get out his next words without his voice breaking or shaking... Much. "She had the same expression on her face that she had when Hatori told her her memory would be erased. She... She was horrified. I told her I loved her and I- I kissed her and she gave me that look, and I ran." Kyo had been thinking about how he would tell Tohru how he felt for so long... When it went like that... Well, he didn't expect her to look at him like that. Even a faked look of politeness or something woud have been better. but horror?

"...Ran." Shishou's voice wasn't accusing Kyo or even asking him a question. He was just thinking.

"I shouldn't have, I know. I'm rotten and stupid and-" He didn't really know how to continue. There was something bad enough to describe himself, but nothing presented its self. His voice was visibly shaking and his hands were a little wet. How did that happen? He was not crying.

They sat there in silence a long while longer. Finally Shishou broke the silence, "I think you should go talk to her and clear things up."

Kyo looked up, he had been rubbing at his eyes to try to dry them (He wasn't crying!), but it wasn't really working. Shishou didn't comment on that, he just kept looking at Kyo.

Kyo shook his head. "I- I- can't." He avoided Shishou's eyes and looked down at soup that was looking a little unpleasant now that it had been sitting for so long.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here until you think you can go back."

Kyo shook his head and took a quick drink of a glass of water he hadn't noticed before. "I think I'll just take a walk and try to go back."

He stood up and met Shishou's eyes again. He was smiling kindly and nodded. "Alright, don't wear yourself out again."

Kyo nodded and hurried towards the door. "Thanks," he said quickly, walking outside, still rubbing at his eyes a little.

He walked around town for a while, not knowing what to do. It was dark now and there was hardly anyone around. He was about to head back when he heard a familiar voice.

"Orangey! Hey! Stop!" Kyo turned around and saw Uo running towards him. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Wha-" Kyo looked at Uo blankly, not knowing what she was going on about.

"Tohru came to the store where I work trying to figure out where you went. She was nearly hysterical. You did something or she thinks she did something, So go back to your house and fix whatever you did! She wasn't specific so I'm assuming you screwed up and- Hey, why are your eyes red? Have you been crying?"

"What? No dammit! I was going back anyway, but I don't know why she would be upset," he lied easily enough, but didn't know how convincing he was. He turned around, not wanting to face a livid Uo. Tohru's friends could be veeery protective when it came to Tohru.

Once home, Kyo opened the door quietly, hoping Tohru would be in bed and not waiting for him. He only got half of that.

When Kyo reached the kitchen (he was going to eat since he hadn't since lunch) he saw that Tohru had been waiting, but she was now asleep at the kitchen table, her head resting on her arms, her breathing was deep and even and she didn't even stir when Kyo walked in.

Kyo grabbed a piece of pizza from the fridge, that must have been what they had for dinner, and sat down across from Tohru. She looked so peaceful sitting there. He ate his pizza as quietly as he could and before he knew it, he was asleep too.