When the jaws of life are required to pull you from the wreckage of your own self-destructive tendencies, it's time to consider the possibility that you may have hit rock bottom.

Of course, McGee couldn't ponder anything like this while it was going on; his bouts of consciousness, which came in and out like a bad radio signal, were filled only with muffled sounds, blurry vision and breathtaking pain.

When the car went through a particularly hazardous stretch of road, the rain caused the vehicle to hydroplane before hitting the guard rail that separated the opposite lanes on the highway. It wasn't done, however, as the momentum from the scrape caused the car to spin before crashing headfirst into a pole supporting a large exit sign. People have survived far worse, of course, and Tim might have walked away without a scratch if not for the fact that he'd been going almost ninety miles per hour.

No one else was injured, but several cars stopped to help the young agent. Still, there was little they could do until real emergency technicians arrived with the materials needed to remove him from his beloved Porsche Boxster. Once the glass and metal were cleared away, the sight they found was a gruesome one. Blood covered Tim's face. A rather large piece of glass that had once been part of the windshield now rested in his shoulder- a few inches up or to the right and it would have hit his throat or his heart. One leg was wedged tight under warped metal and at least one arm was broken- and these were the injuries the ambulance workers could see at the scene…there was no telling what other damage lay beneath the surface.

Just when Tim thought he would be sucked back down into the dark, someone shined a light in his eyes. Agony exploded in his head causing him to let out a whimper. That was seriously uncalled-for pain. Someone, perhaps the person who'd shined the light in his eyes, was talking about blood loss and shock and trauma to internal organs but McGee didn't understand a word. What he did understand was the sterile, painful light of the ambulance interior and the sudden sound of frantic beeping. He listened to the beeping as it became more and more erratic, and in that moment between hearing the dull whine of a machine and closing his eyes, Tim realized that his heart had given out.

….

Two times. They'd had to restart his heart two times.

Tony sat in the waiting room of the hospital, staring at the wall ahead and willing himself not to have a full-blown panic attack.

It was a good thing that McGee had been found with his badge- when on duty, an NCIS agent's emergency contact was their team leader, so Gibbs had been the first person notified of Tim's crash. With Ziva's manic driving (which was not a comfort to Gibbs or Tony given the circumstances of Tim's accident) they arrived at the hospital only thirty minutes after McGee.

The junior agent was in surgery for two hours. Around the first hour mark, a brutally honest nurse came out and gave them an update: his heart had stopped in the ambulance, was restarted, and held on for a little while longer before the blood loss almost proved too much. Thanks to a blood transfusion and another resuscitation, he was alive.

For now.

DiNozzo felt useless, and the irony was not lost on him.

"Doesn't feel too great, does it?"

Tony sighed. His mind never let him have a moment's peace; even when his best friend lay on an operating table fighting for his life, DiNozzo's deepest fears of losing those he cared about once again manifested in the form of Tim, who sat across from his older friend in the waiting room.

"Leave me alone," the senior agent said.

"Do I have to remind you that I'm a figment of your own imagination?"

"No. You're even more snippy than the real McGee."

The imaginary Tim's grin faltered into a menacing look. (Or as menacing as Tony could imagine McGee to be.) "You aren't asking me the most important question."

"Which is?"

With one eyebrow raised, the figment answered. "Did I do it on purpose?"

"What?"

"Did I crash that car on purpose? I mean, it's not like I've been doing all that great recently…"

"Stop. It was raining. Accidents happen."

"The police who showed up at the scene said I must have been going ninety miles per hour. I never speed."

"So you were distracted," Tony said, staring at the floor.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

This version of Tim was far more nightmarish than previous incarnations.

"You know, I think you were right. I do need to talk see someone," DiNozzo quipped, knowing full-well that he wouldn't be talking to a psychiatrist about this any time soon. This imagining of loved ones as they treaded the line between life and death- it probably wasn't normal, but Tony wasn't crazy. It was a coping mechanism- one he suspected was employed by the other members of Team Gibbs.

His thoughts were interrupted when Jethro and Ziva rejoined him in the waiting room.

"No word yet," the senior field agent informed before they could ask. "You called Sarah?"

"Yes," Ziva answered. The Israeli had been brought up to speed on McGee's situation during their drive to the hospital. While Tony hadn't been as forthcoming about Tim's mental health, he did explain how the junior agent's father was dying, and he mentioned the fact that Sarah was only making things harder on her brother. Ziva had responded in anger at the McGee family's treatment of Tim, but was relieved to find out the cause of his behavior over the previous few months.

"And?"

"She already had a flight booked for tomorrow morning."

Tony grimaced. "Does that mean…?"

"Yeah, the Admiral died a couple hours ago," Gibbs said, the poorly-concealed sadness for his agent leaking into his words.

DiNozzo sighed. He wasn't sure if this news contributed to his theory that Tim was merely distracted before his crash, or if it helped prove that he'd done it on purpose. "Damn."

"Sarah seemed very upset." Ziva said. "That McGee was hurt, I mean. Although it may have been because of her father," she finished with a hint of bitterness. Of course they all felt for the young woman- she'd lost her father that day, and now her brother was in danger. Still, even though Tim hadn't been very open about it, they could tell that her behavior hadn't been acceptable and they all resented her a bit for helping push McGee deeper into the hole he'd dug for himself. Though to be honest, none of them were all that surprised. Years back, when the junior agent put his career on the line to save her skin, she'd been less than helpful. Now, while caught up in her own grief and anger at the world, Sarah had no problem with taking it out on her brother. Yes, it was clear that she loved him and that he loved her, but they were very different and they expressed emotion in different ways. They only hoped that when they saw each other in person, the young woman might be a bit more loving to her injured sibling.

"What about his grandmother?" Gibbs asked.

"Sarah told me that Penny is out of the country on business but that she was already on her way back when Admiral McGee took a turn for the worse. She should be here some time tomorrow as well."

Good, at least the one relative Tim could count on would set things straight.

"Someone should call Rachel," Tony muttered.

"What was that, DiNozzo?"

"Someone should call Doctor Cranston," the agent said, looking up at his Boss.

"Already did," Gibbs assured him. "Ducky called her as soon as I told him about McGee. She'll be here when she's done with patients."

"Are Palmer and Ducky on their way?" Ziva asked.

"They're telling Abby," Gibbs frowned. He'd wanted to tell the forensic tech himself, but the team had been out the door the moment they'd heard what happened. "They'll all be over later."

The three agents sat and waited for another thirty minutes before the doctor in charge of Tim's operation emerged. The man looked so haggard that for a moment they were convinced that McGee didn't make it.

"No, no, he pulled through," the surgeon said assured them. "Agent McGee's a fighter, that much is certain. But I'm afraid he's not out of the woods yet."

He went on to explain that the junior agent's leg had been broken in multiple places (the entire front of his car was crushed) but that it would make a full recovery. His nose was broken by the airbag and, multiple pieces of glass had embedded themselves in his face, but these would heal completely as well. However, that was the extent of the good news. Because of his velocity before impact, the crash had inflicted serious damage on several major internal organs in McGee's torso. Ribs were broken, and one lung collapsed; both were far more treatable than the massive internal bleeding in his stomach. Also, a rather large shard of glass had torn up Tim's shoulder. Naturally, the concussion the agent had suffered was the most concerning, though not for the expected reasons.

"Last time he was here he had a concussion," the doctor said, looking at the chart in front of him. "And there was a seizure. The concussion he has now is much, much worse. We're working on keeping the swelling down, but there was some bleeding earlier. If that doesn't come up again, he shouldn't suffer any permanent brain damage- he's lucky the air bag went off and stopped things from moving any further. If he'd struck the wheel he most likely would have been pronounced at the scene."

Tony suppressed a shudder.

"Still, the thing we're most worried about is a seizure. It would be fairly expected given the injury to his brain, but if he does have another one it would be disastrous to his heart and the rest of his organs. The stitches would most likely open up again, and quite frankly he couldn't survive another resuscitation."

Seeing the expressions on the agents' faces, he continued. "But considering he's survived this far, I'd say he has a chance. And I've seen people in far worse condition make a full recovery. Whatever the reason was for his crash, I'd say he definitely isn't ready to let go yet."

"Can we see him?" Ziva asked.

"Not yet, I'm afraid we're still cleaning him up and we need to put him under close observation for at least an hour to make sure there aren't any complications. But as soon as that's done, he'll be moved to a room in the ICU and you'll be able to see him. I'll have a nurse come get you when that happens."

They thanked the doctor and he left them alone to their thoughts.

"He will be fine," Ziva put her hand on Tony's shoulder. "That all sounded bad together, but each of those things is very easily treated. We have all suffered each of those injuries."

"Not at the same time," DiNozzo said, not bothering to keep the pessimism out of his voice. Gibbs gave him a soft headslap in admonishment- it wasn't meant to hurt, but just to remind the senior agent to keep it together.

"Sorry, Boss," Tony murmured. "Well, I guess we've got some time. I don't know about you but I need a coffee."

They went to the cafeteria to find caffeine, where they were eventually joined by Jimmy, Ducky, and a near-hysterical Abby. They informed the three about Tim's injuries and the fact that his father died, though everyone who knew about McGee's therapy with Dr. Cranston kept it quiet, not wanting to further upset Abby (or Palmer, who suspected something was wrong given Ducky's behavior towards McGee over the past few weeks, though he said nothing).

"Poor McGee," the goth sniffed, not even finding it in her to use the affectionate "Timmy" for her beloved friend.

"He'll recover," Ducky said, sending a glance at Tony. "As long as he has the will, he can pull through."

DiNozzo could tell that the elderly ME was also wondering whether the accident had truly been an accident, or if the agent had done it on purpose.

Soon after, a nurse came to inform them that they could see Tim, and she led them up to his room, warning them that his appearance would be a bit of a shock. And it was.

DiNozzo had visited many people in the hospital over the years- mostly members of his team or civilians tied up in one of their cases. He'd also been in the hospital many times, as his own medical record wasn't quite pristine. Still, he was never really prepared to see the injuries of a friend for the first time, no matter how vehemently a nurse or doctor warned him that the sight would be unpleasant. It always was, but it was somehow always worse than he expected.

McGee looked more dead than alive. Every inch of him that wasn't covered in bandages had a tube hooked up to it, or was covered in nasty bruises. Most of his head and face, including his eyes, were under gauzy wrappings for protection. Abby did her best to hold in the sobs, and even Ziva looked a little misty-eyed. Still, their friend was alive, and he'd hate the idea of them crying over him, so they each steeled their nerves as they reconvened in the hall. Ducky stayed behind a minute to check Tim's IVs and read his chart, though it was more for his own benefit than for McGee's.

"He looks awful," Abby said, not bothering to stop the flow of tears. Her mascara and eyeliner were not holding up, but no one really noticed.

"How bad is it?" a new voice asked. Gibbs turned to see Rachel, who approached them slowly, knowing that she was a bit of an outsider here.

"Dr. Cranston," Ducky greeted quickly, though that didn't stop Abby from rushing forward once she recognized Kate's sister and embracing her.

"What are you doing here?" the goth asked.

The psychiatrist paused. Abby was no fool, so skirting around the question wouldn't work. But it also wasn't her right to inform anyone that McGee was her patient, even if that was the least of his problems at the moment. In truth, she'd grown attached to Tim, and felt it her duty as one of his doctors to check up on him…especially since she too wondered if his crash was more than a case of slippery pavement. While she had been sure he wasn't suicidal, she now had some doubts.

"I've been helping Tim with his father's illness," she said. This seemed to take the heat off of McGee's mental state, as the NCIS employees all shared uncomfortable looks. "Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"

"His dad died today," Tony said, giving Rachel a look that suggested that he was also concerned about the exact causes of McGee's accident.

"Oh," she deflated a bit at the news. Everyone had expected Admiral McGee to hang on for at least another couple of months, and Dr. Cranston had hoped to help Tim prepare for that eventuality. "Has his sister been informed? About both things, I mean."

"Yes, she's on her way from California," Ziva said. "She should be here tomorrow some time."

"I'll make sure to be here when she arrives," Rachel responded. Ziva, Tony, and Gibbs all had identical expressions on their faces that told her they had no intention of leaving Sarah alone with McGee, even if he was unconscious for the entirety of her visit. It seemed that every single member of Tim's support system had varying amounts of knowledge as to his current situation, but none of them felt comfortable sharing with anyone else. She and DiNozzo were the only ones who'd actually spoken to McGee about all of this, and while she was bound by law to keep quiet, Tony was bound by his own guilt not to reveal any more than he already had.

"So will we," Gibbs nodded. Rachel hoped she wouldn't have to mediate between the agents and Sarah, as her main concern was patching up the relationship between the siblings. As Tim's friend she wanted to give the young college student a piece of her mind, but the doctor in her remembered that Sarah McGee was a scared, confused, grieving young woman who was going through a whole hell of a lot.

After a long, painstaking night vigil, the agents were all exhausted, their nerves worn thin. Dr. Cranston, the MEs and Abby had all gone home a few hours after they arrived, since they were all still required to show up to work. Vance allowed the MCRT to take the next couple of days off, at least until McGee was awake for any given amount of time. His doctors put him on a steady regiment of pain medications and strong sedatives, keeping the agent under until the swelling in his brain was down completely. Normally they would allow him to wake up so that they might determine the full effects of his concussion, but with the combined strain of his recovering lung and stomach it seemed unwise to rouse him, during which time he might panic and hurt himself further. Also, his heart was still technically recovering from the trauma it had suffered. It would be cruel to subject Tim to the pain of consciousness, even with the hard drugs coursing through his system. No, a small, medically-induced coma would be far more comfortable.

Still, after only twelve hours the swelling in his brain had improved exponentially.

"There's no bleeding either, which is a miracle," the doctor informed them. "He's really, really fighting here. I'd say it's safe to declare him 'out of the woods,' though we're not going to wake him up until the ruptured blood vessels in his stomach have recovered a bit, though that should only be another day or so. After that we can keep him under observation, and once his stomach and lung are stable, he can go. The breaks in his leg with require some physical therapy, and the wound in his shoulder will take some time to heal, but everything else should be back to normal within a few weeks."

It was probably for the better that he remain unconscious, as later that afternoon, Sarah McGee arrived at the hospital, teary-eyed and close to collapse from grief and lack of sleep.

By that time, Rachel had returned to the waiting room to sit with the agents. They all stood when Sarah walked through the doors, each one of them fighting to keep the resentment off their faces.

"Hi," she said softly. "How's Tim? Can I see him?"

"He's still under," Ziva spoke first. "He's been through a lot."

Sarah could feel the implication like a slap across the face but she did not flinch.

Dr. Cranston stepped forward. "Hi Sarah, it's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Cranston, one of Tim's…friends. How about I take you to see him and we can talk about how he's doing?"

With a cautious glance at the agents, the brunette nodded and followed the psychiatrist into McGee's room. Upon the first glimpse of her brother, Sarah burst into tears. Her sobs disturbed the unnatural stillness of the space, and Rachel put her arms around the young woman. Ziva, Tony, and Gibbs stood outside to watch and for the first time they really felt bad for Sarah. She had lost her father the day before, and now her brother was in the hospital after a dangerous brush with death. Still, someone had to put her in her place for the way she'd treated Tim. They just decided to wait for the right time.

"How bad is he, Doctor?" Sarah asked between gasps for breath. Rachel realized that the younger woman thought she was McGee's physician, but decided that correcting her just now wasn't a good idea. Instead she repeated the report they had been given by his actual attending doctor.

"He should make a full recovery," she soothed, rubbing Sarah's back. "But why don't we go back out into the hall for a minute?"

Dr. Cranston led Sarah back into the waiting room and took her to a seat. The agents sat around them.

"I can't believe this is happening," the young woman cried, her face in her hands. "I feel so terrible."

"Why is that?" Rachel prodded softly, though they all knew the answer.

"I've…I…" Sarah couldn't continue in between breaths.

"You two have been having some trouble, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"You've made McGee's life even more difficult than it already was," Ziva interjected. Sarah sucked in a breath in surprise.

"What?"

Tony and Rachel both sent her glances, trying to get her to back off, but Ziva paid no mind. Gibbs waited to see if things would get more heated before putting a stop to it.

"McGee has been helping your father and going through all the same things you have, as well as things you cannot even imagine at work and in his personal life. Things he carried by himself- he wouldn't even tell us what was wrong because he was so worried about burdening us! And you made things even worse for him!"

Sarah stared at the agent, eyes wide, tears still running down her face. She wasn't so much surprised to hear about her brother's problems as she was to be called out on them so fiercely by his coworker. No one else spoke, instead curious to see where this discussion would go.

"I…I know. I was just so angry," she said, attempting to control the persistent sobs.

"You owe him so much more than an apology," Ziva continued. "He's done so much for you and your father these past few months. We are all very sorry for your loss," now her voice went from angry to a far more gentle, understanding tone. "But McGee went through it as well. Trust me when I say I understand that grief can cause a person to do crazy things..."

Rachel looked down, thinking of how she'd missed her own sister's funeral because of her grief. Tony looked over at Ziva, remembering the way she'd beat him up and knocked him to the ground for killing Michael Rivkin. Still, Ziva continued.

"But your family is all you have left, especially now that your father has passed away. Tim has put his life and career on the line for you more than once. If you don't change your attitude towards him, you're going to lose your brother. You don't know how many times you've come to losing him in the past few months alone. And even if he's too kind to send you away, we will do it for him because we care about him. Trust me when I say losing a sibling is even worse than losing a parent."

Her calm but threatening words inspired a fresh round of tears in Sarah.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed. "I'm sorry…"

A small grin played at the corner of Gibbs' mouth. He was never more proud of his kids than when they had moments like these. Tony and Dr. Cranston looked at the ex-Mossad agent, impressed.

"Make sure you tell that to McGee," Ziva said, putting her arm around Sarah and giving a quick squeeze.

"I will," Sarah hiccuped.

…..

The next evening, the doctors weaned Tim off of the sedatives and slowly brought him from his coma. The swelling was mostly gone and he would be coherent.

The doctor decided to allow one person in the room; since there would be a swarm of medical professionals there when he woke up, it seemed that one familiar face would be good for McGee.

By default it would be Sarah, but after Ziva set her straight, she'd done little more than cry and sleep and feel guilty for what she'd done to her brother. The lecture had knocked her down a peg, but in the best possible way.

"I don't think I should be the first person he sees," the young woman said to Gibbs when they were informed of how the whole process would go. "I mean, I totally want to see him, but I've been so hard on him these past few weeks... I don't think seeing me right away would be the most reassuring thing for him."

Jethro nodded, very much impressed with this show of maturity. He looked over to where Tony sat against the wall, staring into space. The senior agent, despite hearing the positive reports of Tim's recovery, was anxious for his friend.

"DiNozzo."

"Yeah Boss?" the younger man looked up.

"You go in first."

Tony looked genuinely surprised by the suggestion. "Are you sure, Boss? Sarah, are you okay with that?"

She gave a little smile and nodded. "You're Tim's best friend. Right now you deserve it more than me."

None of them, except perhaps Dr. Cranston, who sat nursing a cup of coffee, knew how true that statement was. She planned for this to be her last day of hospital visits- she knew that Tim liked her but was still very guarded around her. The doctor decided that once she was satisfied that he was stable for the time being, she would back off and give him space until he was out of the hospital and rested enough to continue their sessions together.

"Are we ready?" McGee's physician stuck his head into the waiting room.

Tony stood. "Yeah, let's do it."

The man looked in confusion at Sarah and Gibbs, but they both nodded, so he turned back to DiNozzo.

"Alright, we're waking him up now. We just got the tube out of his throat, so he might not be able to talk. I'll have a nurse bring some ice chips once I've made sure that he's coherent."

The actual waking up part was painful for everyone involved. Tim moaned and blinked against the hash fluorescent light and even attempted to struggle against the many bandages and tubes that held him down, but seemingly every fiber of his being exploded in pain at the slightest movement. Tony grimaced watching the recognition and remembrance light up behind his friend's eyes as the doctor flashed a light in his eyes and asked him questions. When it was over, Tony came forward and put himself in McGee's line of sight.

"Hey Tim. It's me."

The junior agent attempted to speak, but little more than a croak came out.

"…H'y."

"You really gave us a scare there, McGee."

"…S'rry."

"Don't apologize man, you just gotta stop doing this to us."

Tony waited until the doctors and nurses were finished and left them alone before speaking again. "That was a hell of a crash you went through."

He knew McGee wasn't ready to talk about the intentions (or lack thereof) behind the crash, so he saved that for later. "Everyone wants to see you. Think you got the energy for it?"

"'K," he said, his eyes drifting closed.

"Your sister's here."

His eyes snapped open again though he said nothing.

"She wants to talk to you, ok?"

Tim gave his friend a wary look but didn't protest. With a reassuring nod, Tony stuck his head out into the hall and gestured for Sarah to follow him back into the room. When she went up to her big brother, the guarded look in his eyes brought the tears back to her own.

"Oh, Tim…" she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry…"

She reached out carefully and took his hand, almost expecting him to move his hand away. But instead he squeezed back and the corners of his eyes lit up more than they had in a while. This prompted still more tears from Sarah, who grabbed his hand with both of hers and sat next to his bed, crying and apologizing.

"Well, I'll be checking in on him over the next few weeks. Give me a call once he's cleared to go back to work and we'll continue our sessions," Dr. Cranston said to Gibbs as they watched the touching scene through the observation window.

"Think he'll actually talk to you now?" the team leader asked, not taking his eyes off of McGee.

"Oh, no. While this is a great improvement, it most likely won't change the way he deals with emotions, nor will it help with his self image," Rachel said, smiling all the while.

Gibbs finally looked at her, one eyebrow quirked. "Then why so happy about it?"

"Your agent gave me an idea of how to get him to open up."

"Who, DiNozzo?"

"No," she said, looking up at him. "Ziva."