I sigh and wipe the fine sheen of perspiration from my brow in success of the close of what had transpired earlier that day. Crowd-control had come in, decked out in hard-plated vests with batons to drive the stampeding frenzy out of the stadium. Rukia, meanwhile, had hidden under the pile of loot she'd amassed on the platform from all her fans, away from the chaos.
"Hello, everyone," I breathe, waving nonchalantly to the handful I'd mandated to stay within the grounds.
"When do I get to disect my willing subject?" Mayuri speaks up, effectively killing the moment I was in.
I screw around all in one spasmodic, perfunctory motion.
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND CUTTING PEOPLE UP?"
"I'm a scientist, you simpleton. It is my divine right, bequeathed upon me by the gods, to uncover whatever there is to learn, wherever it may be." I look at him blankly and shrug my shoulders.
"To Mangareader125," I say, "I appreciate you speaking your mind. My brain has been in the frier recently so I'm sorry if things are being unnecessarily drawn out. As for putting two people on auction at the same time, I have already done that with both Shirosaki and Ichigo. I can do it again if it pleases the readers that much."
My eyes scan the area wearily and I duck backstage before dragging a bound figure from behind the satan red curtain. Grimmjow howls muffled profanity around the duck tape sealed over his mouth and lashes out with his feet, which are bound together with rope.
"Another reluctant participator," I inform those who are watching.
ZangetsuJakes: "Can you bid even if you don't have a profile?"
"Ah." I stand up as Grimmjow flashes me a dirty look. "Yes, you can. HOWEVER, I would advise having one, because I've had those who use their anonymity to bid, then bash, or whichever comes first. Don't bash, or flame, or hate on others."
"If I can bid on Grimmjow, I bid the entirety of Hueco Mundo as his kingdom, Aizen to use as a scratching post-" Grimmjow stops thrashing at that, eyes wide with appeal "-a fight with an Ichigo clone every day of the week, and a Luppi clone to beat up! I hope you let me bid. OH! And I'll get a million Hollow servants for him that always tell him how AWESOME HE IS! And I promise not to "glomp" him. Or let anyone else do that for that matter."
Grimmjow begins to bite and gnaw past the tape while Rukia frets in the background about who she is going to choose. IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO PICK BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHAPPY ITEMS AND NICE PEOPLE!
0Kuro Tenshi0: "Hi, I'd like to bid on Grimmjow. My offer: A world that you could rule all by yourself as the king. Watcha say?"
"Hell yeah!" Grimmjow exclaims, the tape in shreds on the ground.
twijazluver: "Hmmm...I bid...2,000 bunnies, all named Chappy, a 100 foot tall chocolate sculpture of Chappy, 20 Chappy plushies, a Chappy costume, a Chappy purse, a certificate of ownership of Chappy, an art studio as big as a mansion, a genie (shaped like Chappy), and the Official, one and only actual Chappy the Bunny!"
"Blegh!" Grimmjow growled, pretending to wretch and attempt in vain to vomit. "What the FUCK is a Chappy?" Rukia glowers from her corner of solittude in the studio, where she is going over her options in peace.
SuppaOtaku: "I bid my virginity for Grimmjow, or more if you'd like?"
Everybody masters their perfect WTF? face in shock.
"I think that one takes the cake..." I mumble.
"I'LL TAKE IT!" Grimmjow howls, grinning ferally. I kick him in the face. "Quiet, you pervert! You haven't heard all the bids yet! What if there are other people who want you?"
He spits on the ground. "Who the fuck cares?" He then rolls his eyes heavenward at my illogical approach to this matter. Who WOULDN'T want sex as an offer for freedom from this psychotic authoress? Except for Ulquiorra, that is...That damn bastard had a stick up his ass the size of his own sword.
"I heard that," I say, interrupting the Sexta's train of thought.
"Heard what?" he grumbles, looking anywhere else but at me.
"Your thoughts," I say evilly, eyes narrowing. Grimmjow starts, head whipping around to my direction.
I laugh retardedly and he snorts. "You lie."
"And how would YOU know?" He looks confused...or mind-fucked. Either one is optional.
"I'VE GOT IT!" Rukia squeals, startling everyone there from the stunned silence I'd enduced.
I stand up from my crouched position over Grimmjow, who is sitting cross-legged on the edge of the platform with a miffed expression. Rukia scurries over to me and leans up on tip-toes to whisper in my ear.
Grimmjow scoots a bit closer, wanting to be clued in on what is being said. He wasn't eavesdropping. He was just bored.
After I'd been informed of what is going on, I put my hand into my pocket and retrieve a slip of paper.
"The results have now been offically narrowed down. MISPLACEDSANITY HAS WON RUKIA!" I usher Rukia backstage so she can go wait for her new owner. "Maako Oro, you came extremely close. I'm really sorry. Immensely so, in fact, because I really loved your bid. I'm so sorry, guys!" I throw my arms up in the air. "Ninja bunnies do rock!"
To Be Continued...
Molipop595: Of course Nel is going on Auction. The only thing I can't guarantee is that MINOR characters will go on Auction. Examples are Chizuru Honsho or Sora Inoue. However, if you ask in a review for a minor character to be included in the Auction, then I'll definitely see to it. To all my readers, NNOITORA is going on Auction next chappy alongside Grimmjow, so don't hesitate. Throw your bids on up there. My highest apologies and commendation go to all who bidded on Rukia. If I could have, I would have chosen all of you, I really would. I stalled so many times until this chapter because I thought I had it, then I would lose it.
Ultimately, I delayed the inevitable outcome, and now here it is. Congratulations go to MisplacedSanity, Liechland, Skywalker T-65, The dark, maako oro, twijaxlover and everybody else.
In a way, you all won Rukia. I thank you for all the offers. They were all unique and truely brilliant.
It was quiet in the stadium. Well, as quiet as it could be with Grimmjow's yacking and complaining.
He'd settled down a bit, but he would still put a word or two out there every minute or so about how he wouln't mind some alcohol about now.
Of the snide remarks he made just to torture me, he'd mentioned Mangareader 125's offer: the pictures of Kaien on the beach.
I now lay in the background sobbing my ass off. "NOOOO!" Grimmjow cackles manically.