Monika was shocked when she finally woke up and looked at the clock on the nightstand near her bed. This was the latest she had slept since she had arrived in this reality and she must have been incredibly tired not to wake up during Lucas and Andrew's usual morning mayhem.

The moral of the story? Check the running time of a movie before you watch it. Monika had decided to watch a highly acclaimed film called Lawrence of Arabia after everyone went to bed, but nobody had told her that it was nearly four hours long. It was definitely good but she was nearly falling asleep on the couch for most of the last hour.

As she stepped out of her room, something made a crinkling noise beneath her feet. She knelt down and found that a note had been left for her.

Monika,
Please keep an eye on Rob today. He's in really bad shape this morning. I wish I could be there but I have a staff meeting this morning.
Kate

She must have been deeply concerned to ask Monika for help, but it was strangely flattering. She often felt like Rob's wife was a rival but Monika had realized lately that she also wanted her approval. Kate worked an ungodly (no pun intended) amount of hours and came home to two energetic children and a husband who was constantly fighting his own brain in order to stay alive. Was this respect that she was feeling?

The music coming from upstairs was Monika's first clue that something was really wrong. Rob never listened to anything with such a low tempo and the lyrics were very bleak.

These days my hands are tied
These days I think you'll find
I'm not me now, the light has died
It's too real to run and hide
It's too real

Monika steeled herself for what was to come. Rob had warned her and done his best to prepare her. She could handle this.

As she came upstairs, she saw Rob standing next to his desk. He was holding that assassin's dagger of his out in front of him, seemingly admiring it. When he tilted the blade towards himself, Monika lost it.

"Put that down!" she shrieked. "Put that down NOW!"

Monika ran forward and tried to snatch the dagger out of his hands. With a bewildered look on his face, he lowered it but didn't put it down. She furiously pounded his chest with both fists.

"You idiot!" Monika shouted. "You fucking stupid jerk!" After hitting him for a few more seconds, she got tired and let her head fall against his chest as she sobbed.

"Monika, what in the hell…."

She looked up at him and watched as he had some kind of awful realization.

"Oh shit," he said quietly. "Yuri. Oh Monika, I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do anything like that, I swear. I just…like to think about it sometimes."

"Passive suicidal ideation," she replied. "Although you're really testing the boundaries of the word 'passive.'"

"I'll put it away, okay?" Rob placed it back in the box on top of his desk while Monika sat down on the couch. Her breathing felt strange and there was a sharp pain in her chest.

"I think I'm having a heart attack," she said.

"Panic," Rob said. "It happens to me sometimes. Do you want some Xanax? That usually helps."

"Sure," Monika answered. "Give me that shit."

He gave her a small white pill with a glass of water and Monika wasted no time in taking it. "How could you do that to me?"

"I didn't think you would see it," he said. "I'm really sorry."

"Sit down," she said, patting the couch with her hand. He did. "I need a distraction so I don't pass out. Try and explain to me what this is all about. Why would you fantasize about something like that?"

He sighed, probably wondering whether or not he should really answer that. A few days ago, he probably would have avoided the subject but since that day at the park, she seemed to have finally gained his trust.

"Sometimes I think about the nice things people would say at my funeral. I also think that it would be really exciting to learn what comes after death…maybe the depression would stay behind. But these days it's all about the life insurance."

Monika turned to him with a skeptical look. "Life insurance? After a suicide? Come on, I haven't been here that long but I know that's not going to work."

Rob smiled mischievously. "Kate and I played them for suckers. We started looking into it shortly after the boys were born, right around the same time that I was going to start going on medication. We held off just long enough to sign the papers so that they wouldn't find out and try to charge us a fortune. There was actually a clause in the contract that said after a few years, the life insurance payment would come even after a suicide."

That scared her. He had really thought this through. She grabbed one of his hands with both of hers. "Money is not a substitute for a father! Or a husband. Or…whatever you are to me, if I ever figure that out."

"You're sweet," Rob said. "I know what you're saying is true, but I…I just worry. If one of the boys ever got sick, and I mean really sick with something much worse than asthma, we'd go bankrupt. Whether I was working or not."

"But don't the boys have health insurance?"

"They do, but you can't count on that. They could decide we're too expensive and drop us whenever they feel like it. It's crazy and since the goddamn politicians can't agree on it, the rules are always changing. You just never feel secure and that's hard for me because I'm constantly feeling insecure about myself, never mind the rest of the world."

"It's okay," Monika said gently. "The boys are happy and healthy. Don't torture yourself like this. Let's just relax, okay? Let me hold you…if you're okay with that of course."

"I've also been really worried about the other girls," Rob said. "I don't know what happened to them after the game ended. I'm glad that you're here in a safe place, but what about them? You and Kate look after me, but who will look after Sayori?"

A few stray tears ran down his cheeks and she briefly thought he was crying for himself, but then she realized the truth. He was crying for Sayori. Her face flushed with rage and jealousy. Of course it was Sayori. It was always about Sayori. Monika was right here sitting next to him and it was still all about Sayori. If she had come through that dimensional tear instead of Monika, she probably would have learned about Rob's depression in minutes instead of having to drag it out of him. It wasn't fair!

Monika caught herself slipping into old habits and squashed those thoughts before they could get too out of control. There was no need to be jealous. This had nothing to do with romance, it was about empathy. Empathy was one of the qualities she liked about him, after all. They had mentioned Sayori a few times and he had never said anything remotely accusatory to Monika about what happened, even though he had every right to.

Maybe she could help. "Rob…what was it like for you to meet Sayori?"

"That hit pretty close to home," he said. "I wanted so badly to be able to talk to her. Instead, she had to rely on that fuckin' moron."

So this was what his distaste for the main character was about. She should have figured. "What would you have said to her?"

He briefly shook with emotion. She instinctively rested a hand on his shoulder. "I would have told her that I knew what she was going through. I would have told her that I had been there and survived. I would have told her that were was treatment out there and even though depression never totally goes away, you can at least make enough progress to get some of your life back. But I couldn't say any of that. I had to watch as that dumb sack of shit made it sound like her keeping it to herself was somehow unfair to HIM."

"He just didn't really understand depression," Monika said.

"I don't give a good goddamn if he understood depression or not. When someone's suffering, you don't slap them with more guilt. And then on top of everything else, Sayori doesn't show up for their morning walk and he doesn't even check on her! Stupid motherfuckin' piece of SHIT!"

Monika flinched away from him. She had read that irritability was a common symptom of depression but she had never seen him so genuinely furious. While trying to think of something to stay, she noticed that her eyelids suddenly felt very heavy.

"Ugh, I'm tired."

"That's the Xanax," Rob said. "It usually works pretty fast. I'm tired too. Should we nap?"

"That sounds nice," Monika said dreamily. They both laid back on the couch and snuggled close. She was surprised at how natural this felt now. They really had grown closer over the last few weeks. Maybe one of these days she could get a hug from him without prompting.

About an hour later, Monika woke up. If she hadn't slept so late that morning, she might have been out longer. Rob was still out cold and she gently disentangled herself from their embrace. As she got off the couch, she noticed Rob's laptop sitting on his desk and got an idea. It was a little scary, but it might make him feel a lot better.

She looked over his desktop screen and sure enough there was a folder labeled "DDLC." Monika briefly entertained the idea of playing the game herself but that seemed risky. Restarting the game would probably create a new character file for her, which could lead to a duplicate of Monika trying to find the player. She had enough competition already, thank you very much. Instead, she began to look over the game's various files. In theory, making changes to that world would be much easier from the outside than when she was inside. Drawing on her programming knowledge, she opened up several of the files and quickly typed dozens of new lines of code.

"That should do it," Monika said quietly to herself. Now came the hard part. She opened up a Notepad pile and prepared to write her message. It made her so nervous she wondered if she would need another Xanax. Eventually, her mind got stuck on one question.

If he tables were turned, would he do this for her?

Of course he would.

She took a deep breath and began to type.

Sayori,
I know you must hate me, but I'm writing to you for Rob's sake. I've been living with him but it hasn't been what I expected. He's married with kids, for one thing, but more importantly he has really bad depression. He saw a lot of himself in you and is worried about your safety. Rob seems about ready to murder MC for his insensitivity but I can tell he still wonders if he's to blame.

We just had a conversation where he told me what he wished he could say to you. I'll try to paraphrase as best I can. He knows what you've been through. He's been where you were and lived to talk about it. Depression doesn't ever totally go away but there's treatment and you can get some of your life back. That was the gist of it. He's cried for you, so even if you don't want to talk to me, please let us know if you're okay.

Before I finish, I do want to say that I'm sorry. I thought I knew everything about our world and what to expect in this one and that knowledge justified my actions. I knew nothing. I've had to grow up a lot since I came here and I understand how badly I failed you. I love you all and I wish you happiness.
Monika

She wondered if she could include what Rob had suggested to her about all the events in the game being predetermined by the creators. Would that be enough to earn her forgiveness? Probably not. It didn't do much to make Monika feel better so she didn't imagine it would lessen Sayori's pain at all.

While she was waiting for a reply, Rob stirred and realized it was almost time to get the boys. He went into the bathroom and came out looking surprisingly normal. Nothing would give away his depression…except for his eyes. Monika would be hard-pressed to explain it, but when she looked into his eyes she saw years of pain behind them.

A few minutes after he drove off, she saw that a new text file had appeared in the DDLC folder. She pushed through her trepidation and opened it.

Monika,
I never expected to hear from you. So you really did find him in the end. I hope you realize that the only reason that was even possible was because he couldn't bring himself to completely delete you. On that note, I'm not surprised at the thoughts Rob shared with you, or that he still cares for us even though he's been cut off from the game. Monika, I swear that if you hurt him or mess up his life, I will find a way to follow you and I'll make you eat that giant bow of yours.

Joke's on you, Monika thought petulantly. That bow was long gone.

I suppose you might wonder what's been happening here. My depression's not much of an issue anymore. I can manipulate my own character file the same way you did and I've been able to make things easier for myself. I have to admit, now I can understand how scary it was for you to gain the knowledge that comes with being President of the Literature Club. It would be easy to surrender to selfish desires like someone else I know, but he saved me. Once I understood the true nature of this reality, I wondered if I would lose it but instead all I could feel was the love he left behind. Rob might be mad at MC, but he was able to work through him to brighten things for all of us, especially Yuri and Natsuki. There's no need to follow the demands of the "game" anymore, so I've changed things to make this a safer place for my club members. Natsuki never has to see her father again and Yuri can spend her time with people who make her feel at ease.

We read books, write poems and enjoy tea and cupcakes at sleepovers. It's not all that much but given the truth of what we are, it's enough. Everyone is happy and that's all I ever wanted. I once wanted it for you too, but you clearly didn't feel the same way about me. Tell Rob that I love him. Tell him I'm safe and he doesn't need to worry. Make sure he understands that what happened was your fault, not his. Yuri and Natsuki send their love too. They miss him terribly and I think they know more about what's going on here than they let on. You've been given a chance for something special, Monika. Make the most of it.
Sayori

Monika wondered for a moment if that was really Sayori. Although she may have reacted to the truth about the Literature Club in a more constructive way than Monika had, it was still clearly weighing on her. She sounded tired and disillusioned, but Rob would still be relieved to hear that her life was no longer in danger.

Not long afterward, the door burst open and Andrew and Lucas began their typical whirlwind of destruction before settling down and playing with toy trucks. Monika approached Rob, who was unpacking their backpacks.

"Rob, Sayori sends her love."

He stopped what he was doing immediately. "You talked to her?! Is she okay?!"

"She's fine," Monika answered. "She's been altering her character file to keep her depression under control. The others are safe too."

Rob placed a hand over his heart and exhaled. "That's good to hear. I wish I could do that. Thank you so much for reaching out."

"Sure."

He glanced over and seemed to take note of her forlorn expression. "She was hard on you, wasn't she?"

Monika gave a sad little laugh. "Yeah, but that's not really unexpected or anything. I tried to apologize but she didn't even acknowledge that. She says if I hurt you, she'll hunt me down and make me eat my bow."

"But that bow got all ripped up."

"I know! That's what I said! She thinks she's so clever."

Rob took her hand, which made her gasp. He was not usually this affectionate. "How about I talk to her? I can tell her how much you've changed since you came here."

"No thanks. At least…not now."

"Okay. I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt for my sake."

"Don't apologize," she said, squeezing his hand. "I wanted to do something nice for you."

"Well, you sure did. I can't even tell you how much better that makes me feel."

She smiled at him. "A shorter winter this time?"

"That'd be nice, huh? But I can't say for sure."

Later that night, Monika relaxed on the couch while Rob tried to get the boys off the counters again. Kate walked into the living room with some papers and sat down on the other end.

"Lucas, remember what I told you about the micro-Owch! Fucking shit!"

They both turned around and saw Rob holding a hand over his nose while Lucas stood next to an open microwave door looking very confused. It was easy to piece together what had happened.

"Can you please cool it with the swearing around them?" Kate asked.

"That's hardly my concern right now," Rob shot back. "Ugh, I think it's bleeding. I gotta go clean myself up."

"I'll be on microwave duty," Kate said.

"For Christ's sake, I should get workman's comp for this shit," he grumbled as he walked towards the bathroom.

Monika looked at Kate. "Do you care that he just used the lord's name in vain?"

Kate shook her head. "You have to pick your battles sometimes. How did today go?"

"It was hard. I don't know how you do this all the time."

"I'm not sure either," Kate replied. "Maybe one day we should talk about something besides him. Something tells me we're both going to need a break."

Monika was touched. "Sure, that sounds fun."